The Thriveology Podcast For Thrive Nation

Good intentions pave a road to nowhere good… right?  But why is it that even our best of intentions, our best plans, do not get us the results we want?  Why is it that we stall out (assuming we even get a good start)?

It turns out that success (and thriving) takes far more than just the desire to get there.  It takes far more than simply starting.

And yet, we humans seem to just get our own selves into trouble.  We trip ourselves up!

Fortunately, there are ways we can get out of our...

One of my favorite things about doing this podcast is meeting some very cool guests.  And on this episode, I had the chance to talk with Dr. Colin Zhu, a holistic doctor and chef extraordinaire.  Why the chef part?  Because Colin sees so many areas of health and wholeness that is touched by a good diet… along with the consequences of poor dietary choices.

A life-long advocate for healing and holistic care, Colin developed his Thr5 (Thrive) Protocol (with 5 pillars to follow).  But as he continued his clinical work and his studies, Colin saw a missing element for se...

Have you failed?

Did that failure stop you from moving forward?  Did it get you stuck?

Failure is a part of life.  Ever watched a child learn to walk?  Success only comes after repeated failures.  Yet that same child keeps on trying, until the child gets it right.

What happens in adulthood?  Why does a fear of failing keep us from acting?

When we don’t take action for fear of failing, we have pre-emptively failed.

We have already decided we would fail, so we never even start, guaranteeing we don’...

Days have a rhythm.  All day long, it is a huge inhale, trying to get that energy in you and into your efforts.

But at the end of the day, it is a big exhale, a moment of relaxing and calming.

Or more accurately, it should be.

In our natural rhythm, evenings are a time to wind-down, calm down, and move toward rest.

In fact, our ancestors had no choice but to do that.  No lights to keep on.  No screens to watch or video games to play.  No social media to p...

One of my favorite sayings is “Not my circus, not my monkey.”

Evidently, this is a Polish proverb: Not my circus, not my monkey.

Maybe it is because I have an affinity for monkeys, but I love the meaning of that.

Am I caught up trying to deal with someone else’s circus or monkey?  Am I trying to deal with an issue over which I have no control, and maybe not even a stake?

We do that.

Friends are fighting, and we get in the middle.  Family members are angr...

Let’s just say it and get it out of the way.  You, I, and everyone else, is going to die.  An inescapable fact of life.  We will die.

A morbid thought?  I don’t think it has to be a morbid thought, as much as an organizing thought.

Reality.

It brings things into focus.

Years ago, I met a man who was dying from cancer.  He was focused, determined.  His prognosis was terminal, so that was not his determination.  He was determined to live out the rest of his life to the full...

It’s just human nature.  We like things finished

And when they’re not, they can often tug at us, pulling energy and focus away.  When things are left hanging, we feel (oh, by the way, the last word from that first line is “finished”) incomplete, unfinished, unsatisfied.  Did you feel that sensation when you realized a word was missing… and it bugged you?  Unfinished loop.

So, what is a “Loop?”  Great question.  This one concept, if you understand it, will help you get free.  If you feel stuck, this is something you need to understand.  More tha...

My coaching client was wanting to thrive.  He told me he was constantly studying about self-growth.  But he wanted to really transform his life.  And, he told me, so much of what he was reading was, to quote him, “woo-woo stuff.”  He used that term as a reference to ideas he thought were “out there.”

So first, let me just say, what is “out there” to one person is commonplace and sensible to another.  But I knew what he was saying.  He wanted to change things in his life… but he wanted it based in research and reliability.  He wan...

Are you up for a challenge?

In the last episode of my podcast, I discussed how to hold on when life is tough.  That’s when life is challenging you.

But what about when life isn’t so challenging… where life is copacetic?  Just cruising.

It’s my observation that we work hard to keep life flat.  We work hard to keep things smooth.  Is it cold outside?  Turn on the heater.  Is it hot outside?  Turn on the A/C.  Keep things even… even-keeled.  Flat.

We spend LOTS of energy to save the energy...

Have you heard of Kaizen?  It is the principle of continuous improvement.

Continuous improvement is a great model for change.  It is based on constant changes toward a better outcome.  No need for sudden upheaval or change (although that is sometimes necessary).  Instead, course corrections are made along the way, nudging something toward improvement.

That “something”?  It might be a product (like Japanese automobiles, where Kaizen became the method of them becoming excellent automobiles), companies, or even individuals.

But how, you might wonder, do you actually DO that continuous improvement?

Let me offer...

I’m always looking for the life lessons, no matter what I am doing.  If things go well, what’s the lesson?  If things don’t go so well, what’s the lesson?  If something is fun, what’s the lesson?  If things are not so fun… well, there is a lesson there, too. A few years back, I did several podcast episodes about the lessons I learned in jiu jitsu.  But since then, for a number of reasons, I hung my gi up and ended by jiu jitsu life. And that left a void in my life… along with a relocation for my...

What's your WHY?  Your BIG WHY?  Why you are here.  The WHY that is your life purpose? I think we all have one... even if we haven't found it yet.  It's there.  Within us.  Your first task is to find it.  That's important.  But finding it isn't enough.  Second, you have to move toward it, work toward it... try to fulfill it.  If it is big enough, it may just take you the rest of your life! But what could get in your way?? The little "why's."  Your questions about "why did this happen?", "why are things this way?", "why do I feel t...

Life is tough. Not always.  But along the way.  And even after you get past one struggle, that doesn't mean there isn't another one up ahead.  That's just the nature of life. It doesn't mean you are doing anything wrong or that the world, God, or the Universe is out to teach you a lesson.  It's just the nature of life. You may notice 2 crowds.  First is the "Grind Culture" that just says to suck it up, keep on grinding, and MAKE it work.  They have a point that you have to get through some tough times.  But sometimes, it is wise...

Blame is rampant in today's world.  We all quickly point the finger at someone/something else, proclaiming, "It's not my fault!" Interestingly, I also notice how rampant it is for people to take the credit for successes. They/we claim credit for what goes right but refuse blame for anything that goes wrong. We live in a "culture of blame." Which is what often keeps us from growing.  From changing.  From learning from our mistakes.  If someone/something else is to blame, what could I (or you) do?  Not my fault... not my problem. Change requires us to change the equat...

Maybe it’s just me… but I don’t think so!  Sometimes, we get so stuck in win/lose mentality that we defeat ourselves.  We struggle, wear ourselves out, and never get to the point of something else. What else? Learning.  Nelson Mandela said, “I don’t lose.  I either win or I learn.”  What I have realized is, I either learn or learn.  Sure, there may be an outcome… I win the game or lose the game. But more importantly, did I learn?  Did I take something forward with me… that will make a difference as I move forward? In this episode, I high...

Here we go!  The old year has passed, and the new year stretches before us… full of possibility and potential.  Let’s talk about how to Thrive in ’25! In this episode, I’ll tell you where I have been, and where the podcast is headed.  I’ve got lots of great stuff coming your way, and am excited to share it with you. Also in this episode, I tell you the 3 A’s of what you can control, so you can start applying that RIGHT NOW. Stay tuned for future episodes! And listen to this episode below.   RELATED RESOURCES: My Books, Click HER...

Just a little rant here:  philosophy classes turn off many college students for a simple reason — they never get around to saying how philosophy can shake your living.  Some classes might teach more on “how to think philosophically,” or “here are the old philosophers.”  Some may speak to ethics or arguments, logic or some other esoteric area.  But how to live, day-to-day?  That is often lost to the student. (By they way, I would offer this as an issue with much of theology, too.  Lots of talk about what not to do, what God (or gods) might be like, and how to judge how...

I’ve had a few people who have noticed that the Thriveology Podcast has been on a bit of a hiatus for a couple of months.  They asked where I have been. Well, since the question was about my podcast, I thought I would respond in… my podcast! So, listen in for what I’ve been up to, where we are headed, and how you can learn more about thriving — along with me! And we will be back with a great interview in the next episode. RELATED RESOURCES: NEW:  Thriving with Lee Baucom resource Lee’s Books

Do you ever do something that breaks a rule (or even a law), thinking to yourself that it doesn’t apply to you? I do. Sometimes, I use that speed limit sign as a suggestion.  I’m a good driver, I tell myself.  What harm could +5mph do?  Except the sign is a law, not a guideline or suggestion. But I explain it away.  I decide it is ok. I dare to venture that very close to 100% of people do something similar with some rule or law in their own lives.  Someone tells me that they think affairs are bad and unacc...

Do you micro-quit?  I sure do.  And I need to quit micro-quitting!  Maybe you do, too. It undermines my goals (and likely, your goals too).  And it keeps you from thriving. What is micro-quitting?  Well, if you quit something (an activity, a job, a sport, a hobby, etc.), you stop doing it.  You step away from it. But when you micro-quit, you don’t follow through on the smaller building blocks of the bigger thing.  You don’t quit.  But you chip away at that bigger thing. For example, you are exercising.  Maybe you like to.  Maybe you want to be in better s...

All around the news, we are hearing about algorithms built into our social media.  It directs what we see and hear. It is how all social media decides what to feed you next.  If you like this video, then you might like this one.  If you know this person, then you may know this person.  If you respond to this ad, then you might respond to this one.  The task?  To keep you on the app or the website.  Because that is the thing about social media:  they want your attention and your time.   But guess what?  You have algorithms that are ru...

"Where should I start?", my client asked. Lots of times, we want to make changes, we want things to be different.  And sometimes, we want things to be different before we make any changes. We want a different starting point. If you've ever been at a park or mall, looking at the map to figure out where to go, you might notice that one very important feature, "You Are Here."  It points to the spot where you are now. Not where you want to go.  Not where you want to be. But where you are. If you are at the mal...

"Why don't they treat me the way I want to be treated?", my client asked me. So, I asked, "Have you taught them how to treat you?" The silence let me know.  But after a pause, my client said, "I guess it never crossed my mind I needed to do that." The fact is that people do not know how we want to be treated... unless we are clear about how we are to be treated.  Otherwise, we get treated the way THEY want to treat US, and not the reverse. In the end, that leaves people frustrated, defensive, and fe...

A few weeks ago, a coaching client noted her resistance to forgiving for fear that she would be vulnerable to being hurt.  I told her that was not at all true.  In fact, being alive leaves you open to hurt! But not forgiving?  It offers no protection.  It does, however, prolong the pain caused by some person or event. This client was not the only one who told me about her concern of forgiving.  I have heard it over and over through my three decades of counseling and coaching. Most people have fallen into a habit of hanging on to the h...

Have you seen the meme that caught my eye?: I really wish I weren't living through a major historical event right now! I feel that!  But here is the thing I am realizing — historic events are happening on a very regular basis.  We aren’t living through the first pandemic (nor will it be the last).  This isn’t the first time we have had political upheaval and polarization (nor will it be the last).  This isn’t the first time an unpredictable war has rocked a nation (and unfortunately, it won’t be the last). I could go on and on.  But y...

Over the past 7 episodes, we have been building our Thrive Code.  The code to follow that allows us to thrive, and also the code that runs your system, like computer code.  And we are closing in on the finish line! We bring the series to an end in this episode. The final piece of the Thrive Code is all about how we feel about others.  Do we see others as “other” or as connected to us?  Do we use compassion or do we objectify? I have a built in belief that we are born with compassion.  Babies and children have a natural...

Did you ever have one of those Magic 8-Balls when you were growing up?  I never had one, but a friend down the street did.  You were supposed to ask Yes/No questions of the ball, then turn it over and a die would float to the surface, revealing your answer. For whatever reason, we could spend lots of time asking a question, shaking and flipping the 8-Ball, and study our answer.  Of course, if we didn’t like the answer, we would just shake it again and get another answer. On a side note, I always wondered why an 8 ball...

As we continue exploring your thrive code, the next topic is… are you curious? OK, that is actually the topic:  being curious. I’ve come to regard curiosity as one of the main paths to thriving.  In fact, in the absence of curiosity, we will have a hard time thriving. All learning comes from curiosity. All change comes from curiosity. New experiences come from curiosity. And growth comes from curiosity. I am a curious person.  And I work to stay curious, to build on curiosity. Learn why curiosity is part of the Thrive Code in this episode of the Thriveology Podcast...

I must admit, I have said it myself, “I am just not creative.” But that isn’t true. Not for me, and not for you. Perhaps you had some art teacher tell you that at one point. Or perhaps you were looking at the creative work of someone else. And perhaps you aren’t creative in that particular medium (although it may just be you haven’t put effort into that medium). But you ARE creative. And so am I. How do I know? Because we are human. And being human is being creative. We create thoughts all the time. Most of th...

When I talk about Thriveology, many people say, “Oh, that is more of that ‘being happy’ stuff, isn’t it?" My response:  No. Well, not just that.  Sure, being happy is fine.  No need to avoid being happy! But that is only one dimension of life. It IS the dimension of life that hedonism celebrates and pursues.  If it feels good, do it.  Enjoy life.  Have a good time.  Seek out pleasure and avoid pain. Except that doesn’t lead much to thriving. It posits your satisfaction with life externally to you.  It is THAT thing that makes you happy, brings you pleasur...

It’s in our DNA.  We have a need to connect with others, to have connections and relationships.  We express that in close relationships and larger groups. And unfortunately, lately, we have often allowed tribalism into our connections.  When we slip into our tribal thinking, we work from a place of exclusion.  This leads to a greater illusion of connection.  In reality, that connection is based in being the same as others in the tribe. Community, on the other hand, allows others to include themselves.  It is not about differences.  Lines are not drawn to separate.  Differences have room for inclusion...

Many people make the Control Error — they attempt to control what they cannot control, while also failing to control what they can. Why? Because they don’t know what they can’t control and they don’t know what they can control. Humans have a desire to feel like they are “in control” of their lives. Most people hate feeling out of control. And yet, by making the Control Error, they constantly feel out of control (and work harder to control… what they cannot control). Thriving is tough when you feel out of control. And it is even more difficult when you are n...

Life is a challenge, isn’t it? I don’t think I am saying anything that is a surprise these days. We’ve been dealing with a pandemic now for over 2 years. For many people, that has led to many challenges throughout life. Which brings me to my word for 2022. Each year, my family chooses one word to live into for the year. And this year, my word is Challenge. Not just to acknowledge the challenge of these days, but to claim that I am going to live into and lean into the challenge! Even without a pandemic, life would still...

And just like that, the Holiday season is upon us! All the hustle and bustle. All the events. All the demands… in the midst of a time that you want to be enjoyable, meaningful, and manageable! Why the stress? In a repeat of last year’s podcast (since we still have that holiday stress!), I discuss the causes of holiday stress. But more importantly, I cover the ways to cope with holiday stress. Don’t let stress rob you of the deeper meanings and connections of this holiday season. RELATED RESOURCES Why We Stress 5 Ways to Shift from Stressful to Restfu...

It's a trap.  And we all fall into it. Sadly, we set it up on ourselves, then step right into it. WHACK!  We are stuck... waiting.  And that's the trap -- the wait.  Life can't begin until.... What's the trap?  The "When/Then Trap."  You know, that time when you say, "When ____ happens, then I will ______."  When you finally get that great job, get that perfect spouse, make $$'s, win the lottery, etc.  THEN, life can finally get started.  THEN you can be happy, help others, find meaning, do... well, you get the point. It just seems that something has to change...

I bet you hear it as much as I do.  You may even say it.  "I'm so stressed!"  The malady of the modern age.  Stressed out, exhausted, and frustrated. But what IS stress? As much as we toss that term around, sometimes almost as a badge of honor, you may not think about what that term is REALLY about. These days, I tend to push my body, physically.  I take a good long walk in the morning, usually do a workout after that, then go to jiu jitsu 3 to 5 evenings per week.  My body can, indeed, get stressed. When we talk a...

If you are in the States, we are on the cusp of the Holiday season, kicking off with Thanksgiving in just a few days. For me, the Holidays throughout the year are moments to step into gratitude.  Not just in a little "thank you for that gift," but in a gratitude for being alive.  For being here.  For experiencing life. Each morning, while walking the neighborhood with my dogs, Ziggy and Clementine, I reflect on 5 things for which I am grateful.  That starts my day with an attempt to shift my attention to thankfulness, to gratitude. Granted, some days, that feel...

"How did I end up here?," my client asked.  He told me that for so long, he thought he was headed in the right direction.  Now, he thinks maybe it was the entirely wrong direction. I asked him, "Did you course correct along the way?"  He looked at me rather quizzically.  So, I elaborated, "If you are sailing, you point the boat toward some object in the distance, in the direction you want to sail.  You sail toward it.  But the winds push, the current pushes, and you end up a little off-course.  So, you course correct." But then, I added...

Have you seen this picture in your FB feed or on Twitter?  It crossed my path a number of times. The first time I saw it, I was immediately uncomfortable.  But it took a little time for me to be clear on why. There is a point to it:  just because you apologize doesn't mean everything is okay. I like that point. But I worry about going the other way:  if someone hurts you, you are shattered.  With that, I disagree. Not just a little. A lot. I firmly believe that we are all built to heal from hurts.  I firmly...

A couple of episodes back, I discussed some lessons I have learned in my less-than-half a year in jiu jitsu.  One of my lessons was about "egoless learning."  Several people asked what I meant by my ego being involved.  And what's wrong with that... the ego? Well, the ego tends to trip us up, throughout our lives.  Why?  Because our ego keeps us focused on how we appear, what others think of us, what we look like.  And because of that, we try to keep up an image. And because of that, we trip. Soon after I learned to scuba dive...