The Real Question
The Real Question is a show that holds space for life’s tough questions. Each episode, a guest brings a personal question they’re grappling with, and Chaplain Mauricio Bruce helps them find an answer. This season, our focus is on future-oriented questions – those that start with ‘Should I…’ Mauricio sits down with guests who are contemplating big and small changes in their lives — whether it’s habits, careers, or relationships. In every episode, he asks the pivotal question: “Who do you want to be and what’s the best path to get there?”The Real Question is produced by Not Sorry Productions, a...
Revisiting: Should I Have a Life Partner?
In the weeks between new episodes, we'll be revisiting some favorite old ones with some new commentary from Mauricio.
In this episode from Season 4, Mauricio talks to Anna. Anna knows she wants to be a parent and she doesn't want to do it alone, but she's never particularly wanted a life partner. Should she reconsider that position for the sake of raising a child?
On tthis episode, Anna and Mauricio explore Anna's relationship to partnership and uncover some of the deeper anxieties at play for her.
Stick around until the...
Revisiting: Should I Quit My Comfortable Relationship?
In the weeks between new episodes, we'll be revisiting some favorite old ones with some new commentary from Mauricio.
In this episode from Season 3, Miranda brings a question about her long term relationship. Over the last year, she's taken some steps back from the relationship. They used to live together and now they live separately. She used to imagine marrying him, now it doesn’t seem in the cards. Is it time to just give up this man entirely? Or can she be happy with the comfort and pleasure of what she has in front of he...
What do I owe my family?
Em was very close to their grandparents growing up. But as an adult and a queer person, it has become clear that their views are not validating and supportive of who Em is. Em hasn't formally come out to them, but has received mixed feedback from other family members and has been dreading spending time with the family overall. What do they owe these people, who were once a very big and important part of their life?
This week on the show Mauricio and our guest explore family patterns, obligation, and closure.
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Revisiting: Trusting Your Gut
In the weeks between new episodes, we'll be revisiting some favorite old ones with some new commentary from Mauricio.
In this episode from Season 2, Vanessa brings a question about instincts and intuition. She's always felt that she has good instincts about people, but recently she's started to wonder: where does that gut instinct come from inside of her? And how can she make sure her 'gut' is reflecting her wisdom, instead of her prejudices?
With help from Into the Woods and Gilmore Girls, Vanessa and Casper explore how to give people the benefit...
A Prompt from Mauricio - July
Once a month we'll be dropping into the feed with a (totally optional) prompt for listener submissions. This month Mauricio is thinking about religion and ritual in secular life.
Submit your questions here!
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Revisiting: Should I Quit My Church?
In the weeks between new episodes, we'll be revisiting some favorite old ones with some new commentary from Mauricio.
In this episode from Season 3, Vanessa talks to Cari, who has been dreading going to church. In theory, she likes so much about the community. But lately, she’s been resenting her obligations there. Is this just a rut? Or is it time to move on?
Stick around until the end of the episode for Mauricio's thoughts! We hope you enjoy revisiting these episodes with us.
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This show is...
Revisiting: Should I Have A Child?
In the weeks between new episodes, we'll be revisiting some favorite old ones with some new commentary from Mauricio.
In this episode from Season 4, Mauricio speaks to a guest who has always wanted to have a kid. He’s also aware that having a kid will totally transform his life! Is he willing to give up parts of his life to make room for a baby?
Stick around until the end of the episode for Mauricio's thoughts! We hope you enjoy revisiting these episodes with us.
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This sh...
Revisiting: In-Laws
In the weeks between new episodes, we'll be revisiting some favorite old ones with some new commentary from Mauricio.
In this episode from Season 2, Casper and Vanessa talk to Lily. Lily has a boyfriend who she loves. But you know who she doesn’t love? Her boyfriend’s brother. He makes Lily feel small and hurt and honestly angry every time they see each other. But Lily wants to have a good relationship with her boyfriend’s family. So how does she deal with him?
With help from Sara Bareilles and a scene from Fl...
Special Edition: Storytelling with Micaela Blei!
This week we're joined by the lovely and very talented Micaela Blei for a special conversation all about storytelling! Micaela and Mauricio talk about the different ways storytelling helps us think about and shape our own identities, and how it's been a helpful tool on this season of The Real Question.
To learn more about What Matters with Micaela, Mauricio and carvel wallace go to our website here. You can also find Micaela's audible original here and her Tik Tok stories here.
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This show is completely funded by Patreon, and...
How do I stay informed while managing chronic pain?
Kate has always been pretty well informed on current events. They work with kids who care deeply about what's happening in the world, and they believe in the power of collective attention. Unfortunately, over the last several years they've been dealing with back pain which often requires their full attention. Is there a way for them to ease back into paying attention to the news, while also managing their pain?
This week on the show Mauricio and our guest explore personal responsibility, interconnectedness, and chronic pain.
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This show is completely...
Do I have to keep living in a place I hate?
Over the years, Katie's whole family slowly moved to the same midwestern city. Katie was raised with extended family close by and really values this for her future children. Two years ago, she and her husband has made the move as well, but so far they've hated their experience in this city. Does she need to move somewhere new, or is this the best option for her future children?
This week on the show Mauricio and our guest explore real and chosen family, and how to know if your environment is the issue.
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A Prompt from Mauricio - April
Once a month we'll be dropping into the feed with a (totally optional) prompt for listener submissions. This month Mauricio is thinking about community ahead of his brother's wedding.
Submit your questions here!
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Is the way I'm spending my time aligned with my values?
Emily is a new mother finally finding the balance between time for her daughter and time just for herself. She's a reliable and consistent friend, a supportive figure within her family, and involved with her community yoga studio. But as she watches the news and the way other people are responding on her social media feeds she wonders, is she doing enough to meet the current moment?
This week on the show Mauricio and our guest explore shame, calling, and how to know if our values are matching our actions.
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A Prompt from Mauricio - March
Once a month we'll be dropping into the feed with a (totally optional) prompt for listener submissions. This month Mauricio is thinking about navigating the return of his cluster headaches.
Submit your questions here!
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Will I feel guilty if I choose not to freeze my eggs?
Through Bunny's husband's job, she has access to one free round of IVF. They've recently started talking to fertility clinics, but she's not quite ready to be a mom yet - and isn't sure if she ever will be. After a bad experience with one of the clinics, she's wondering if she should abandon the process entirely - will she feel guilty and regret it if she does?
This week on the show Mauricio and our guest explore guilt, prophecy, and how to know when to take the next step.
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A Prompt from Mauricio - February
Once a month we'll be dropping into the feed with a (totally optional) prompt for listener submissions. This month Mauricio is thinking about power in the wake of elections in Costa Rica.
Submit your questions here!
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
How do I trust myself?
Lucy has lived in many different cities, but grew up in New York and has recently moved back. She's starting to feel at home, and would love to stay rooted in a local community. Her partner isn't loving New York - she yearns for the beach, and wishes they could live abroad. How can they find a version of home that works for both of them?
This week on the show Mauricio and our guest explore how to trust yourself and your preferences after a lifetime of people pleasing.
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This show...
Looking Forward, Looking Back: A 2025 Reflection (with Mauricio and Vanessa)
Mauricio Bruce has been the host of The Real Question for a full year! This week he's joined by Vanessa Zoltan to talk about hosting the show and what's coming next.
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This show is completely funded by Patreon, and we are so grateful to our supporters who make it possible. If you can, please considering chipping in!
Want to join us on the show in 2026? We'd love to receive your questions through our submission form.
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Did They: Re-Apply to Medical School?
As we end our year of 'Should I?' questions, we're checking back in with some past guests. How did things turn out for them? Did they make a final decision after our conversation?
For our last conversation in the main feed, we're reaching back out to two guests! This year both Clinton and Sarah brought us the question 'Should I Re-Apply to Medical School?' We check back in with both to see what they decided.
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This show is completely funded by Patreon, and we are so grateful to...
Did They: Quit Keeping Kosher?
As we end our year of 'Should I?' questions, we're checking back in with some past guests. How did things turn out for them? Did they make a final decision after our conversation?
Today we're checking back in with Gillian, who asked the question 'Should I: Quit Keeping Kosher?'
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This show is completely funded by Patreon, and we are so grateful to our supporters who make it possible. If you can, please considering chipping in!
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Did They: Invite Their Dad to Their Wedding?
As we end our year of 'Should I?' questions, we're checking back in with some past guests. How did things turn out for them? Did they make a final decision after our conversation?
Today we're checking back in with Natalie, who asked the question 'Should I: Invite My Dad to My Wedding?'
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This show is completely funded by Patreon, and we are so grateful to our supporters who make it possible. If you can, please considering chipping in!
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Did They: Change the Way They Talk About Their Health?
As we end our year of 'Should I?' questions, we're checking back in with some past guests. How did things turn out for them? Did they make a final decision after our conversation?
Today we're checking back in with Sarah, who asked the question 'Should I: Change the Way I Talk About My Health?' after a bad encounter with a supervisor.
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This show is completely funded by Patreon, and we are so grateful to our supporters who make it possible. If you can, please considering...
Did They: Decide to Have a Child?
As we end our year of 'Should I?' questions, we're checking back in with some past guests. How did things turn out for them? Did they make a final decision after our conversation?
We're starting our week with an anonymous guest who asked the question 'Should I: Have a Child?' back in April.
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This show is completely funded by Patreon, and we are so grateful to our supporters who make it possible. If you can, please considering chipping in!
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Should I: Try to Make More Friends?
Erika is an introvert and she’s struggled with friendship in the past. Sometimes people she thought were her friends, didn’t feel the same way about her. Now, as an adult, she has two good friends. Is that enough? Or is she avoiding trying to build more friendships out of a fear of rejection?
This week on the show Mauricio and Erika talk about why we perform in our relationships and how to trust people enough to be ourselves.
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This show is completely funded by Patreon, and we are so g...
Should I: Research My Family History?
Alex's mom was adopted and has chosen not to look into her biological roots. But as Alex begins her own search into family history, she has her own questions. Can Alex respectfully research her mom's biological family? And should she tell her mom she’s doing it?
This week on the show Mauricio and Alex explore the vulnerability of wanting different things from the rest of your family.
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This show is completely funded by Patreon, and we are so grateful to our supporters who make it possible. If you can, pl...
Should I: Try to Get Pregnant Now?
Marie and her partner know they want kids and now seems like a optimal time to try. They have really good parental leave in their current jobs. Marie's health is in a good place. Life is stable. And yet – Marie is hestitating. Is it because she's just resistant to change and needs to bite the bullet? Or is there something she needs to do before she's ready?
This week on the show Mauricio and Marie talk about what it means to feel 'ready' for change.
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Should I: Stop Working with My Friends?
This week’s guest is an artist whose work relies on close collaboration with friends. But those friends don’t share the same professional ambitions. Can these collaborations continue, or will our guest have to risk hurting people they care about?
This week on the show Mauricio and our guest explore the difference between community and teammates.
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This show is completely funded by Patreon, and we are so grateful to our supporters who make it possible. If you can, please considering chipping in!
The Real Question is a No...
Should I: Plan to Take Care of My Parents in the Future?
César's parents are getting older and as he looks into the future, he's wondering: where does his responsibility to them start and end? How much should he sacrifice to take care of them?
This week on the show, Mauricio and César talk about feeling like an outsider in the family and what it means to be of service.
The Real Question is a Not Sorry Production
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This show is completely funded by Patreon, and we...
Should I: Dye My Graying Hair?
Rebecca always knew her hair would change, she just didn't think it would happen now, in her 30s. She's been on a long journey to accept her curly hair, and isn't ready for another change in a wave of life changes.
This week on the show, Mauricio and Rebecca explore dyeing or not dyeing, what it would mean to choose either, and wonder if it's even the right question to begin with.
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Should I: Start Dating?
Jackson has built an intentional and fulfilling life for himself. He has a supportive family and many friends, and a career he really enjoys. There is an overall sense of contentment with the way things are, but after a series of unexpected challenges he wonders if he's missing out by not having a romantic partner to share in his highs and lows.
This week on the show Mauricio and Jackson explore what it would look like to start intentionally dating for the first time.
The Real Question is a Not Sorry Production
<...Should I: Share Publicly About Experiences with Toxic Workplaces?
Sruthi works in education. Throughout her career she's has had a wide range of experiences across different institutions – they haven't all been good. In fact, some have been really, really bad. While she often shares insights when asked for advice, she wonders: should she speak out more publicly? And if she does, what risks might come with telling the truth?
This week on the show Mauricio and Sruthi explore what constitutes an 'abuse of power.'
The Real Question is a Not Sorry Production
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Introducing: When We All Get to Heaven
Co-founder of Not Sorry, Ariana Nedelman, has a new podcast project out today!
When We All Get to Heaven is a 10-episode series that tells the story of one of the first gay-positive churches, the Metropolitan Community Church of San Francisco, and how it faced the personal, social, and political trials of the AIDS epidemic, including the deaths of hundreds of its members.
The series is releasing over on Slate's Outward podcast and the second episode is already out.
Subscribe to Outward to hear the whole series!
Hosted...
Should I: Break-Up with My Partner?
Our guest today recently moved to be closer to a long distance partner. They thought it would make the relationship feel closer, but since the move, things have been feeling off. Is it a sign they should break-up? Or is just a passing symptom of changing circumstances?
This week on the show Mauricio and our guest explore the difference between friendship and romantic partnership.
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This show is completely funded by Patreon, and we are so grateful to our supporters who make it possible. If you can, please...
Should I: Leave Vermont?
Wes and his fiancee are facing one of the classic millennial issues: they can't afford to buy a house. They've lived in Vermont all their adult lives and they love it there – they love their jobs, they love their friends, they love the access to nature. But should they leave in order to build a better future for themselves and their potential future kids?
This week on the show Mauricio and Wes explore what it means to put down roots.
The Real Question is a Not Sorry Production
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Should I: Write a Nicer Email to an Ex-Friend? (with Vanessa Zoltan)
About three years ago, Vanessa "broke-up" with one of her close friends. She tried to do it kindly, but in retrospect she feels guilty for how it all went down. So recently she decided to reach back out and apologize. Faced with his response, she's now asking herself: What's the best way to handle this set of communications when there's still a lot of pain on both sides?
This week on the show Mauricio and Vanessa explore how to end relationships well.
You can find more information about the Harry Potter and the...
Should I: Give Theater a Second Chance?
When Katy was a kid, she dreamt of being a stage actress. After some early rejections, she pivoted to stand-up and improv and built a career for herself in that field. Now she's working for a college theater department and she find herself feeling jealous of the kids in her program. She's having trouble making sense of this jealousy. Does it mean she should try to do stage acting again?
This week on the show Mauricio and Katy explore how we carry our past rejections with us.
The Real Question is a Not...
Should I: Give Up on My Album?
Naomi Westwater released their latest album, Cycle & Change, this past spring. This album release intersected with a lot of big life events – a divorce, moving house, the death of their father – and they didn't have the capacity to celebrate and promote the album the way they planned. Can they celebrate the album now? Or is it too late?
This week on the show Mauricio and Naomi explore what artists owe to their creations.
The song we play at the end of this episode is The Empress. Listen to the whole album here.
Should I: Reach Out to a Friend Who Ghosted Me?
Five years ago, Karolina's friend stopped replying to her messages. Karolina doesn't know why. Did she do something wrong? Was the friend just going through a hard time? If so – why hasn't the friend reached out since? Karolina misses her friend and it still bothers her. Should she reach out and try to reconnect?
This week on the show Mauricio and Karolina discuss ghosting and the pain it leaves behind.
The Real Question is a Not Sorry Production
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<...Should I: Start Saying No to Opportunities?
Christine Flynn calls herself 'a bit of a workaholic.' She's always taking on new projects and managing some aspect of life with a successful career, three kids, and a family farm. Does she truly need to be juggling everything she's doing? Or is there some way to slow down and stay afloat?
This week on the show Mauricio and Christine discuss how to build a sense of safety.
Christine is a chef and the best-selling author of three cookbooks. She's teaching an upcoming class for Not Sorry called Cookbook Writing as Memoir...
Should I: Apply to Medical School Again?
Sarah has been on the path to medical school for the past few years – she's taught herself physics and chemistry, she's taken the MCAT and done pretty well! But unfortunately her scores aren't good enough to stay in province. Should she apply to other provinces and plan to uproot her life (and her three young kids)? Should she wait a year and re-take the MCAT with the hopes of getting better scores? Or should she give up on the med school dream entirely?
This week, Mauricio and Sarah explore how to follow your spark.
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