Behavior Gap Radio

In this episode, Carl explores a question that has followed him for years: Can I do anything about it? Drawing on wisdom from Buddhist teachers, he considers the difference between worry and useful action, and how much energy we spend looping over things we may have no control over. It’s a thoughtful reflection on developing the wisdom to know when to act, when to let go, and why the things we can actually influence are often much closer to home.

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In this episode, Carl proposes a different set of questions for thinking about money. Instead of asking, “What’s your net worth?” he offers a series of reflections that focus on flow, relationships, balance, and the patterns shaping our financial lives. It’s a gentle reminder that the most important questions about money are rarely answered by a single number.

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In this episode, Carl reflects on an old financial phrase with fresh eyes: balancing the checkbook. What if the real goal of money wasn’t accumulation, but balance? Exploring ideas of flow, energy, and enough, Carl invites us to see our relationship with money not as a race to acquire more, but as an ongoing practice of noticing where things feel out of balance and gently bringing them back into alignment.

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In this episode, Carl explores the surprising difference between telling yourself what you should do and asking a more playful question: What if I didn’t? Reflecting on his own habit of checking email and the news even when he has systems that make it unnecessary, he considers how curiosity can succeed where discipline often fails. Sometimes a small shift in the question opens the door to entirely different choices.

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In this episode, Carl questions a phrase many of us repeat without thinking: “The stakes are so high.” He explores what happens when we pause long enough to ask who decided that in the first place, and whether holding everything with such intensity actually helps us do our best work. It’s a thoughtful invitation to care deeply about what matters without carrying the unnecessary weight of believing everything depends on the outcome.

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In this episode, Carl explores a deceptively simple question: What if it was okay to feel scared? Using the metaphor of learning that there’s nothing wrong with getting wet, he reflects on our tendency to resist difficult emotions instead of allowing them to move through us. Whether it’s fear about money, anxiety about the future, or uncertainty about what’s next, Carl suggests that curiosity—not resistance—may be the first step toward greater freedom.

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In this episode, Carl explores a simple question that can quietly change the direction of a day: What if we just go? Reflecting on a spontaneous trip to the river, he considers how often reluctance, uncertainty, or the desire for comfort keep us from experiences that end up being deeply worthwhile. Rather than guaranteeing a particular outcome, choosing to go simply guarantees participation, and Carl suggests that many of life’s best moments are waiting just beyond the point where we almost decide to stay home.

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In this episode, Carl reflects on a simple but challenging idea from Aldous Huxley: “Change is only possible through movement.” Instead of waiting until we’re certain about the outcome, he argues that clarity comes from taking small steps, gathering new information, and adjusting along the way. Carl explores why progress in complex situations isn’t about having the perfect plan, but about having the courage to move before you know exactly where the path will lead.

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In this episode, Carl reflects on what happens when you find yourself in over your head. After a humbling day on the trail, he realized the most valuable lesson wasn’t failure, but the reminder that there was still so much to learn. Carl explores why taking on projects that feel just beyond your current abilities can spark growth, humility, and curiosity—and why becoming the kind of person who can do the thing often matters more than simply accomplishing it.

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In this episode, Carl explores a question we all face eventually: How do you know when it’s time to quit, and when it’s time to keep going? Reflecting on a day when he wanted to walk away from several meaningful projects, he shares how moments of discouragement can reveal what’s truly worth our time, energy, and attention. Rather than treating the urge to quit as failure, Carl suggests it may be an invitation to pause, regain clarity, and decide whether you’re being called to let go or simply take the next step.

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In this episode, Carl reflects on a simple idea with profound implications: What if money’s natural state is movement rather than accumulation? From paying bills to giving generously, he explores the possibility that money is meant to flow through our lives, creating value and connection along the way. Instead of seeing every dollar as something to hold onto, Carl invites us to consider how our relationship with money might change if we viewed it as part of a continuous cycle of exchange.

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In this episode, Carl explores an often-overlooked truth about inheritance: We don’t just inherit money, we inherit the stories that come with it. Those stories can shape how we feel about wealth, influence our financial decisions, and even carry unresolved questions about family, sacrifice, identity, and love. Whether you’ve inherited money yourself or work with people who have, Carl offers a simple invitation to look beyond the dollars and become curious about the story they’re carrying, too.

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In this episode, Carl reflects on the moments when a conversation about money quietly becomes a conversation about what really matters. Inspired by a discussion with Rabbi Shira Stutman, he explores how values like safety, freedom, love, and justice often emerge beneath financial decisions—and why learning to recognize these “crunchy bits” is one of the most important skills we can develop. It’s a thoughtful invitation to practice noticing the subtle emotional shifts that signal when the real conversation has finally begun.

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In this episode, Carl explores a paradoxical question: What if your goal is to have no goals? Reflecting on conversations with people who have spent years optimizing every part of their lives, he wonders what it would mean to stop striving and simply become more present. Rather than seeing this as giving up, Carl suggests it may be one of the bravest goals of all—a shift away from constant achievement and toward the far more challenging work of exploring your inner landscape with curiosity, compassion, and openness.

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In this episode, Carl introduces a simple practice that can transform your relationship with money—one spending decision at a time. Since spending is our most frequent interaction with money, he suggests treating it as a daily practice rather than something to do on autopilot. For the next 30 days, every time you spend money, pause for three seconds and simply notice what happened, approaching it with curiosity instead of judgment. Carl explains why this small habit of awareness can quietly reshape not only how you spend, but how you relate to money itself.

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In this episode, Carl reflects on a remarkable insight from movement teacher Ido Portal: Truly great teachers don’t simply provide answers—they create the conditions for curiosity, exploration, and discovery, especially where clear answers don’t yet exist. Carl explores what this means not only for teaching, but for parenting, friendships, leadership, financial advice, and any relationship where our role is to help others uncover what matters most for themselves.

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In this episode, Carl reflects on one of his favorite questions from Mary Oliver: “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” Focusing on the words plan and wild, he explores the creative tension between thoughtful planning and embracing life’s unpredictable nature. Rather than choosing one over the other, Carl suggests that a meaningful life requires both—a plan that gives direction and enough openness to let the most beautiful, unexpected moments emerge along the way.

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In this milestone 1,500th episode, Carl reflects on the quiet power of showing up consistently. Looking back on years of recording Behavior Gap Radio, tending a garden, and watching small efforts compound over time, he shares why the most meaningful changes in life rarely come from dramatic breakthroughs. Instead, they grow through steady, daily practice. It’s a celebration of patience, compounding, and the reminder that the things most worth building are often the ones that can’t be rushed or hacked.

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In this episode, Carl explores a simple question that can completely change the way we think about spending money, time, energy, and attention: What value am I actually trying to express? Through stories about beach houses, family gatherings, friendships, and everyday decisions, he shows how we often mistake the object for the purpose. Once we identify the deeper value we’re trying to honor, new possibilities emerge—often simpler, more meaningful, and more aligned with the life we actually want to live.

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In this episode, Carl explores the idea of choosing a “forcing function”—a meaningful project or experience that asks something of you and reveals what really matters. Inspired by a friend taking a three-week sabbatical to write, he reflects on the surprising resistance that can arise when we give ourselves permission to pursue something that feels deeply important. Whether it’s a garden, a road trip, an art class, or a long walk, Carl suggests that the value isn’t in the activity itself but in the questions it invites us to ask about our priorities, our stories, and the life w...

In this special anniversary episode, Carl reflects on 31 years of marriage and the quiet power of compounding kindness. Looking back over more than 11,000 days together, he celebrates not perfection, but the daily practice of forgiveness, patience, and choosing kindness again and again. It’s a heartfelt reminder that the most meaningful investments aren’t passive—they’re made one small act at a time, and over the years, they grow into something far greater than we could have imagined.

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In this episode, Carl explores one of the most honest questions we can ask ourselves: What if I don’t know what I want? Building on the idea of choosing a meaningful project as a tool for transformation, he reflects on why discovering what truly matters is so difficult in a world shaped by borrowed desires and cultural expectations. Rather than searching for a perfect answer, Carl suggests gently clearing away inherited ambitions and letting real experiences ask deeper questions about what energizes us, what we’re willing to rearrange our lives around, and what makes us feel more aliv...

In this episode, Carl invites you to slow down and simply notice what surfaced after yesterday’s reflection on choosing a meaningful project. Whether it was excitement, frustration, shame, curiosity, or nothing at all, he encourages you to resist the urge to fix it or act on it immediately. Instead, treat it as information. With gentle curiosity, Carl explores the practice of paying attention to your feelings, giving yourself permission to wonder again, and taking the first small step toward rediscovering what truly matters.

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In this episode, Carl explores the question at the heart of both meaningful living and real financial planning: What’s worth living for? He reflects on how most of us have been trained to ask practical questions like, “What can I afford?” instead of deeper ones like, “What makes me come alive?” Rather than waiting for perfect clarity, Carl suggests choosing a meaningful project—not because the project is the goal, but because it becomes a tool for transformation, revealing what we truly value and what we’re willing to reorganize our lives around.

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In this episode, Carl reflects on a simple question inspired by a conversation with Dan Sullivan: What if your future was bigger than your past? As many people begin shrinking their lives with age, Carl wonders what it would look like to keep growing instead—not by doing more, but by taking on meaningful projects that continue to transform us. It’s a thoughtful meditation on adventure, rest, purpose, and why the most important investment we make may be in a future that still excites us.

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In this episode, Carl shares a powerful lesson from a conversation with leadership expert Jennifer Garvey Berger about the importance of questioning our assumptions. What sounds like a simple client goal—“I just want a stable future”—turns out to contain layers of meaning that we can easily overlook if we assume we already understand. Carl reflects on the discipline of deep curiosity, the art of asking better questions, and Jennifer’s humbling reminder that she goes to such lengths because she has learned she is “almost always wrong” about her first assumptions.

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In this episode, Carl reflects on how quickly we build stories from incomplete information—and how often those stories turn out to be wrong. Through personal experiences involving family, clients, and everyday conversations, he explores the assumptions we make, the certainty we attach to them, and the humility required to question our own narratives. It’s a thoughtful reminder that there are always multiple sides to a story, and that staying curious about our assumptions may be one of the most valuable practices we can develop.

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In this episode, Carl reflects on one simple but surprisingly powerful question from a recent retreat: What’s one thing you’ve changed your mind about? As stories unfold around the table, he explores the remarkable human capacity to revise long-held beliefs, let go of old stories, and see the world differently. Through a personal example of discovering he’d misunderstood part of his wife’s relationship with money for decades, Carl reminds us that changing our minds isn’t a weakness—it may be one of the clearest signs that we’re still learning.

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In this episode, Carl reflects on the idea of obsession—not as something unhealthy, but as the kind of deep fascination that brings a person fully alive. Drawing on wisdom from Howard Thurman and a Zen teaching about living “as though a fire were raging in your hair,” he explores what it means to rediscover the interests, questions, and pursuits that quietly call to us. It’s an invitation to notice what captures your attention, rekindle what once lit you up, and make a little room for the thing that won’t stop asking to be noticed.

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In this episode, Carl explores a simple but transformative idea: The most meaningful goals aren’t really about achieving an outcome—they’re about becoming a different kind of person. Using examples from running, graduate school, and personal growth, he reflects on how goals can serve as forcing functions that shape our identity rather than just our accomplishments. It’s a thoughtful invitation to stop asking, “What do I want to achieve?” and instead ask, “Who am I becoming?”

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In this episode, Carl shares a lesson he’s learning while riding an adventure motorcycle: Look where you want to go. Whether on a motorcycle, skis, a mountain bike, or in life, focusing on the obstacle often pulls you toward it, while looking beyond it helps you move through it. Carl reflects on attention, presence, and the surprising way our brains can navigate challenges when we keep our eyes on the path ahead rather than the thing we’re trying to avoid. It’s a simple lesson with implications far beyond the trail.

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In this episode, Carl continues his “feelings are data” series by exploring a growing body of research suggesting that the body often knows things before the conscious mind does. From studies of traders who could better sense their own heartbeats to research showing that emotions consistently show up in specific parts of the body across cultures, Carl makes the case that physical sensations may be valuable information, not distractions. Rather than ignoring feelings or blindly following them, he suggests a third path: getting curious about them and treating them as data worth investigating.

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In this episode, Carl reflects on the quiet, often unspeakable feeling that points us toward the work we’re meant to do. He explores how years of expectations, practicality, and well-meaning advice can cause us to lose touch with the things that once made us come alive. Through stories, questions, and the metaphor of “dancing with dragons,” Carl invites listeners to pay attention to the small ember of curiosity, creativity, or longing that still exists beneath the surface—and to consider what might happen if they simply acknowledged it instead of ignoring it.

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