The Self Help Antidote

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What if a meaningful life isn’t a life without suffering, but one in which suffering doesn’t write the final chapter in your story, where you're the one who gets to shape your own character arc?  

In this episode, Craig Harper and I discuss a range of topics including holocaust survivor and psychiatrist Viktor Frankl’s reflections on meaning, how we respond to the difficulties we can’t avoid, and what those experiences can teach us about courage, resilience, and most importantly, ourselves.

We consider the connection between adaptabil...

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What if improving your mood started with food?

In this episode, we explore the connection between nutrition, mood, and the gut microbiome, and why healthier eating doesn’t have to involve a complete lifestyle overhaul or a passionate relationship with kale.

We unpack how your gut and brain communicate, what your gut bacteria are doing all day, and what research suggests about the relationship between food, inflammation, and mental well-being. Along the way, we look at how changes in nutrition may support energy, digestion, and focus, and why the be...

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What if being resilient means more than getting better at enduring difficult things?

When life becomes unpredictable, we’re often told to stay strong, adapt, and keep going. But what happens when the people holding everything together need support themselves?

In this episode, I share lessons from my conversation with former prisoner of war Captain Charlie Plumb, Including an unexpected encounter with the sailor who packed his parachute, to explore four foundations of resilience: control, connection, challenge, and commitment.

We explore how to recognize where your actions st...

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Being busy is one thing. Knowing whether your effort is creating something valuable is quite another.

In this episode, Craig Harper and I explore the difference between activity and progress, and when an over structured plan can get in the way of learning. We unpack a surprising lessons I learned from my personal training days: the more I charged, the fewer objections I received. What does that reveal about perceived value, trust, and the associations people attach to price?

From branding and storytelling to using coaching skills in sales...

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What if kindness at work isn’t the opposite of accountability, but one of the conditions that makes accountability possible?

In this episode, we explore the science behind kindness, connection, psychological safety, trust, compassion, curiosity, and human performance. We look at why seemingly small behaviors, listening a little longer, asking a better question, acknowledging someone’s contribution, or responding to difficulty with dignity, can have effects far beyond the moment itself.

We also make an important distinction between being nice and being kind. Kindness doesn’t requir...

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In this episode, I sit down with Jo Groves to revisit one of the most unconventional commencement speeches of the last decade: Tim Minchin’s 2013 address at the University of Western Australia.

Minchin offered nine life lessons that are funny, provocative, and occasionally counterintuitive: you don’t have to have a dream, don’t make happiness your goal, remember how much of life is luck, exercise, be hard on your opinions, be a teacher, define yourself by what you love, respect people with less power than you, and don’t rush.

Jo...

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Over the years, I've had the privilege of working with and learning from some extraordinary leaders and mentors. 

What stayed with me wasn't their charisma or ability to command a room.  It was how they treated people, made decisions, built trust, responded to adversity, and most of all, developed others.  

In this episode I share some of the leadership lessons that have stayed with me throughout every stage of leadership in my own learning and development.  

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What if becoming more fully yourself has less to do with looking inward forever, and more to do with what you choose to give your attention, and energy to next?

In this episode, in my discussion with Craig Harper and Tiffanee Cook we explore the relationship between self-regulation, agency, identity, meaning, and generosity. We look at the difference between an internal and external locus of control, the stories we tell ourselves that can intensify our suffering, and why painful experiences often reveal what we value most.

We also examine...

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Empathy is one of the most important ingredients in effective coaching and communication. Approaches such as Motivational Interviewing demonstrate that people are more likely to explore change when they feel genuinely heard, understood, and accepted rather than judged, corrected, or managed.

But empathy has a potential downside.

In this episode, we explore why empathy is a non-negotiable for great coaching and leadership, but also what can happen when we become so emotionally absorbed in another person’s experience that empathy turns into empathic distress. Research suggests that when we be...

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What if work-life balance isn’t really about balance at all?

In this episode, we challenge the familiar idea that a well-lived life means somehow becoming equally successful at work, relationships, health and everything else, while remaining calm, well-rested and mysteriously caught up on email.

Instead, we explore a different question:

How do we create enough space for the things that actually matter?

We’ll look at why greater efficiency often creates more work rather than more freedom, why every yes contains a hidd...

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What if the way you talk to yourself is progressively making burnout worse?

We’re often told that changing our lives starts with changing our thoughts. Think positively. Repeat affirmations. Tell yourself, “I will do this.” But when you’re exhausted, overwhelmed, and running on fumes, your brain may have a fairly compelling rebuttal.

In this episode, we explore the relationship between beliefs, self-talk, motivation, and burnout, including fascinating research from psychologists Ibrahim Senay, Dolores Albarracín, and Kenji Noguchi suggesting that asking yourself a question such as “Will I?” may som...

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This week, Jo Groves and I sit down with former television video producer and content creation expert Richard Playfair to ask a mildly uncomfortable question:

Are you creating content, or simply consuming so much of it that your brain has become an AirBnB for other people's ideas?  

We explore why social media leaves intelligent, capable people feeling overwhelmed. 

Richard takes us through the evolution of content creation, the biochemistry of engagement, and my obsession with Ikigai, bliss, purpose, and finding the one sacred calling that will make ev...

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What if wellbeing isn’t something to be achieved, but something to be cultivated and experienced when the way you live aligns with what you value most?

In this episode, we explore Ikigai, the Japanese concept often translated as “a reason for being.” While the Western version is frequently presented as a Venn diagram combining what you love, what you’re good at, what the world needs, and what you can be paid for, the traditional Eastern understanding is simpler, yet at the very least just as expansive. Ikigai can be f...

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Habits can be the key to or the lock on our success.

Nearly everything we want to improve, from our health and confidence to our relationships, performance, and wellbeing, depends on what we do consistently. Yet in a world where life already feels relentlessly additive, habit creation can quickly become another overwhelming project.

Add a morning routine. Add exercise. Add meditation. Add meal preparation. Add journaling. Add recovery. Add another app that promises to reorganize your entire life by Thursday.

In this episode, I strip habit creation...

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In this episode of The Self Help Antidote, I speak with John Graham, author of Quest: Risk, Adventure, and the Search for Meaning. The book chronicles John’s transformation from an adrenaline-seeking diplomat into a global peacebuilder, while sharing the stories of ordinary people who have taken extraordinary risks for the common good.

John is also a leader of the Giraffe Heroes Project, originally founded by his wife, Ann Medlock. The project was created to tell the stories mainstream media often overlooked: stories of people who “stick their necks out” for others...

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Are good looks actually a life advantage, or just a very convincing illusion?

In this episode, Craig and I poke at one of society’s favorite unspoken rules: beauty equals value. Why are humans so magnetically drawn to attractiveness? What do we really mean when we say someone is “confident,” “intimidating,” or “easy to like”? And how much of what we believe about social success is… let’s be honest… wildly untrue but repeated with the confidence of an over caffeinated motivational speaker?

We dig into how being different, vis...

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In this episode of The Self-Help Antidote, I sit down with Jo Groves and Behavioral Scientist and Exercise Professional Dr. Lou Atkinson to explore one of the most talked-about topics in health and fitness today, GLP-1. From its medical origins and biological mechanisms to the behavioral implications of satiety and self-control, this conversation pulls no punches on what GLP-1 can (and can’t) do.

Dr. Atkinson unpacks the myths about obesity, the oversimplified “eat less, move more” narrative, and the cognitive distortions that still run rampant in the fitness industry. Together, we exp...

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We can’t relive the past, but the past never really leaves us. In this episode, I sit down with my dear friend and co-host Tiffanee Cook to explore how our history continues to shape who we are, what we value, and how we show up today. We unpack why the environments, people, and strengths that fueled our success in the past are a mirror reflecting what matters most to us now, and how dissecting those elements can help us become the best version of ourselves.

Together, we dig into why th...

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In this episode, Craig Harper and I pull back the curtain on what it’s like to navigate life and leadership with Tourette’s, equal parts challenge and comedy. From the unpredictability of Tourette's to the absurdities it create's in everyday moments, we explore how humor becomes both a shield and a bridge.

But this isn’t just about Tourette’s, it’s about adjusting to a rapidly changing world. We dive into the emergence of AI, how I use it as my own thought partner and sounding board, a tool I use to s...

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What if the best leadership lessons didn’t come from business school but from behind the chair in a barbershop?

In this episode, I sit down with Susanne Biro, coach to C-suite and executive leaders, author, designer, facilitator, Forbes and CEO Magazine contributor, and TEDx speaker. 

Susanne shares her journey from studying psychology to discovering the human side of leadership in the most unexpected of places.

We explore what it really means to lead with humanity: why all leadership development is self-development, how vulnerability depends on psychological saf...

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In this powerful conversation, Daniela Tilbrook shares the heart and motivation behind her book Not My Shame. She opens up about the crushing weight of carrying shame for something you could never have prevented, and the fear of what might happen if the truth were ever known.

For Daniela, breaking her silence was both terrifying and liberating.  The first time she spoke about her trauma was the first step toward reclaiming her power. In this episode Daniela, Jo Groves and I explore the freedom that comes from letting go of secrecy, t...

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Ranae’s story is one of pain, resilience, and the hard work of healing. At just eleven years old she experienced a horrible traumatic event that shaped how she viewed herself, her worth, and her relationships with others. Told to “put it aside” for appearances, she spent years trying to please everyone else while quietly carrying the weight of shame.

Her journey eventually led to Federal Prison, where the shock of turning herself in and confronting fear for the first time became, paradoxically, the beginning of her healing. In this conversation, Ranae...

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What’s more useful today: a perfectly polished five-year career plan, or the ability to thrive in chaos? In this episode, Craig Harper and I lean into the reality that uncertainty isn’t going away—it’s becoming the baseline. We explore how self-awareness gives you the clarity to navigate change, why developing actual skill is the backbone of real confidence, and why adaptability has replaced predictability as the career superpower.

Along the way, we get into the paradox of kindness and empathy; two qualities the world needs more of, but paired w...

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Sometimes clarity doesn’t come in a flash of inspiration, it arrives in the quiet, awkward realization that this… isn’t it.

Maybe it’s your job. Or your routine. Or the way you’ve been moving through the world lately.

It’s not terrible, exactly, it’s just not lighting any fires. And the tricky part? You’re not even sure what would.

In this episode of The Self-Help Antidote, we explore a refreshingly honest approach to self-direction: anti-goalsetting.

Because when you don’t know what...

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In a world where connection is thinning, certainty is shrinking, and burnout feels like a badge of honor, what does it actually take to build a life rooted in resilience and wellbeing?

In this episode, we dive into the psychological and neurological building blocks of self-care, not the bubble bath kind, but the kind that scaffolds you when life inevitably hits hard. From Dunbar’s number to dopamine, decision fatigue to distress, we explore the science behind emotional regulation, agency, and the rituals that ground us. You'll learn why perceived control ma...

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In this episode we explore what comedians can teach us about timing, tenacity, and the transformative power of failure. From the brutal honesty of open mic nights to the uncanny pattern recognition honed through relentless practice, we unpack why everyone should step onto a stage at least once in their life, not for applause, but for awareness.

I share stories (including a ahem, friendly debate: my wife vs. Dave Chappelle), and we dig into the tension between confidence and competence, the pain of being disliked, and the artistry of staying curious...

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In this episode, we take a journey from the Prime Meridian to the emotional equator, where gratitude, fragility, and fierce compassion intersect. Drawing inspiration from Emile Durkheim, Jonathan Haidt, Marshall Rosenberg and Dr. Bernie Siegel, we explore how to stay grounded and emotionally regulated in high-stakes conversations without losing yourself, or the other person.

We dive into the psychology behind emotional contagion and vicarious trauma, and how your presence, not your prescription, is often the most powerful gift you can offer. You’ll learn why advice often fails, how to recognize wh...

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What if your best performance doesn’t come from trying harder, but from letting go? In this electrifying episode, I’m joined by the brilliant Jo Groves, coach, presenter, trainer, and unapologetic story teller, who breaks down the art and science of authentic presenting.

We explore what it really means to show up: not just to deliver lines, but to create an experience. From rhythm and timing to the importance of detaching from the outcome, Jo unpacks how to move from a contrived delivery to spontaneous resonance.

We dig into...

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In this episode, we dismantle the sacred cows of self-help and hustle culture with equal parts honesty and introspection.

We start by questioning one of the most glorified slogans in fitness and life: “Go hard or go home.” Is it a motivational mantra… or just a socially acceptable way to ignore your body and trauma?

From there, we dive into:

·       The self-inflicted damage we often call “grit” or “grind.”

·       Why brutal honesty isn’t always brave, or kind.

·       The conversation we wish we could have had with our younger...

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In this episode, we’re joined by Jeffrey Sanow—former Senior Intelligence Officer for the CIA, strategic leadership presenter, author of Humint for Humanity, and a storyteller with a wealth of real-world experience in the highest-stakes environments.

Together, we unpack why change management is never just about systems—it’s about people.

Jeffrey shares sharp insights on what makes communication work across personalities, power structures, and cultures. We explore how great leaders tune into what others need (not just what they want), why inexperience is often an asset, and how ego—...

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Episode Description:
Are you living your life… or managing everyone else’s reactions to it?

In this episode, we dig into what happens when your self-worth gets tangled in the opinions of others. From the exhausting pursuit of universal approval, to the sneaky trap of meta-perception; how we think others see us. We explore how this mental noise hijacks our happiness, relationships, and performance.

We’ll unpack the difference between being affected by and defined by other people’s views, how emotional intelligence requires the guts to hear h...

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In a world obsessed with certainty, group identity, and the illusion of "the one right way," what happens when we choose to live in the question instead of clinging to the answer?

In this episode, we challenge the seductive comfort of tribalism and explore how identifying too strongly with a single worldview can shrink our humanity. We dive into the dangerous allure of "my truth" vs. the truth, and why people who promise you the right way may be leading you the wrong way.

Through the lens of self-compassion...

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What if the voices in your head, your doubts, your drive, your deepest wounds, weren’t just background noise, but characters in a play that you could rewrite?

In this episode of The Self Help Antidote, we dive into the transformative world of Anonymous Drama, a creative approach to emotional wellbeing that blends improv, wellbeing, psychology, and storytelling. Playwright, director and drama therapy advocate Mark Macnicol shares how creating scripts and characters, even if you have zero interest in “drama”, can help untangle emotional knots that feel too overwhelming to confront direct...

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This episode dives into the real cost of living on autopilot, and how to reclaim your direction through honest self-awareness, emotional courage, and a bit of play. We cover everything from choosing your environment like your sanity depends on it (because it does), to why “discipline” is a form of self-care, not self-punishment. Most importantly we discuss why the only person who can change your life is you.  People may offer well-meaning advice, but in the absence of autonomy living another persons plan for your life, steals your confidence and accountability.  

You'll...

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Ever feel like you're stuck in the gravitational pull of your own comfort zone, orbiting the same problems like a satellite doomed to reruns of its own past mistakes? You’re not alone. Avoiding the Comfort Trap isn’t about radical, reckless change as much as it’s about understanding why we cling to familiarity, even when it holds us back, and how to break free without setting off existential alarm bells.

In this episode, my friend and colleague Jo Groves, joined by a live audience, take a deep dive into why be...

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What if uncertainty isn’t a void to fear but a blank canvas daring you to create? In this episode, we dive headfirst into the unknown, exploring how to reframe uncertainty as an opportunity, take small, bold risks, and build unshakable resilience.

Through relatable stories, sharp insights, and actionable strategies, we’ll show you how to turn fear into curiosity, mistakes into masterpieces, and setbacks into setups for growth. Whether you’re stuck at a crossroads or overwhelmed by the chaos of "what ifs," this episode will inspire you to grab the br...

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The first session in a coaching relationship is the foundation for success. It’s where trust is built, values and vision are clarified, and actionable goals are set. In this episode, we explore why this initial meeting is more than a simple introduction, it’s a blueprint for meaningful change. Drawing on the VISION framework, we’ll guide you through the step-by-step process of creating a collaborative and empowering session that helps clients align their values with actionable goals.

We’ll discuss the importance of building rapport, using tools like motivational intervie...

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n this episode, we navigate the seemingly random (yet deeply connected) threads of creativity, coaching, and the questions that unlock meaningful conversations. We begin with an observation, cats are very smart, and let curiosity guide us through the complex landscape of creation, thought partnership, and the power of listening.

You’ll learn:

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In this episode, we dive into the timeless wisdom of Russell Conwell’s iconic parable Acres of Diamonds. This story isn’t just about wealth—it’s about uncovering the opportunities, talents, and resources already within your reach.

We’ll explore the journey of Ali Hafed, a farmer who gave up everything to seek riches far away, only to miss the diamonds that lay buried beneath his feet. Through this lens, we unpack powerful lessons on contentment, perspective, and finding value in what you already have.

Join us as we discuss...

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Why is it so hard to change, even when we know exactly what steps to take? In this episode, we unpack the science and psychology behind the gap between knowing and doing. From the myths of laziness and willpower to the hidden forces of habits, ambivalence, and decision fatigue, we explore why change feels so elusive, and how to finally make it stick. Learn practical, research-backed strategies to design your life for success, align your goals with your values, and embrace small, sustainable actions for lasting transformation. Whether you’re tackling personal habits or...