Overcome Pornography for Good

Could your sexuality be something you learn to embrace instead of something you need to fear or control? In this episode, I talk with Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife, a psychologist and teacher who helps people work through sexuality and develop healthier, more intimate relationships. We discuss moving beyond the idea that sexuality is simply something to manage or suppress and exploring how it can create connection, strength, and goodness in our lives.

Jennifer shares why sexual shame often creates more fear and disconnection, and why the goal is not to reject our sexuality but to learn...

What if the way you respond to your urges is the thing keeping you stuck? In this episode, I break down the three ways you can respond when an urge to view pornography comes up: resisting it, reacting to it, or allowing it. Understanding the difference between these approaches can completely change the way you handle urges.

I explain why using willpower and trying to push urges away doesn’t work long term, and why many people end up stuck in a cycle of resisting and reacting. Instead, I teach you what it means to al...

What if the emotions you’re trying to avoid are actually the key to creating the life you want? In this episode, I talk about why so many of us fear our feelings and how avoiding emotions can keep us stuck. Whether it’s loneliness, stress, shame, or the desire to view pornography, learning to feel your emotions is a skill that can change everything.

I explain why emotions are not dangerous or harmful, but simply sensations in your body that you can learn to experience. When you resist feelings, they often become bigger and lead...

What if the sexual feelings you’ve been taught to fear are actually a normal part of being human? In this episode, I talk about sexual shame and why so many people, especially those raised in religious or conservative communities, learn to see normal sexual feelings as something wrong or bad. Sexuality is a part of being human, and shame around it creates unnecessary suffering.

I share why shame around sexuality doesn’t help you create the relationship you want with your body or your sexual desires. When we believe we are broken or unworthy beca...

What’s possible when you see that change is within reach? In this episode, Thomas shares his story of struggling with pornography on and off for 40 years and what finally helped him break free. Hearing someone who has navigated the same challenges helps build belief that it is possible to make lasting change.

He explains how committing fully to the process, being intentional with his choices, and applying structured support allowed him to handle urges and stressful situations differently. Thomas shares the turning points that helped him shift his responses, build confidence, and reclaim control ov...

Is it possible to guarantee success in overcoming pornography? In this episode, I explain the difference between goals that are impossible to execute and goals that a living person can realistically pursue. Many people struggle because they focus on outcomes that are abstract or unattainable, which makes progress feel impossible.

I share why noticing the patterns in your responses and focusing on small, consistent steps is more effective than chasing unattainable outcomes. By paying attention to how you actually behave and making intentional choices, you can start to move forward in a way that feels...

What’s the real cost of not taking action on the things that matter most to you? In this episode, I explore how putting off change, whether with pornography, health, or personal goals, creates compounding effects over time. Inaction doesn’t just keep you where you are. It often makes challenges worse and limits the life you could be living.

I explain why waiting for the “right time” or relying on willpower alone keeps you stuck. Using examples from life, health, and pornography, I highlight how small, consistent actions compound over time. I also explain why appr...

What’s possible when your sexuality belongs to you first? In this episode, I address a common question for those who are single, divorced, or in a sexless marriage: can you still befriend your sexuality? Many people are taught that sexual energy only belongs in a relationship, which creates confusion, shame, and reliance on others for regulation.

I explain why outsourcing your sexual relationship to a partner or marriage doesn’t resolve underlying issues and often leads to dependency or resentment. Befriending your own sexuality allows you to reclaim this energy, experience aliveness, and bring vita...

What’s possible when you stop running from your sexual urges? In the third episode of this series on befriending your sexuality, I explore how shame and avoidance create conflict around sexual energy and why learning to work with your sexuality instead of against it is key. When we honor our natural impulses and separate physiology from morality, we open the door to experiencing ourselves more fully and living more vibrantly.

I share why healing shame-based operating systems inside yourself is vital. When each part of you is respected and valued, you can reduce internal co...

What if the way you’ve been approaching your sexuality has been keeping you stuck? In this second episode of a three-part series on befriending your sexuality, I explain why most strategies fail and how a shame-based internal operating system filters your experiences, preventing meaningful change.

I share why treating sexual urges like something to eliminate or control keeps you trapped, and how recognizing and working with your sexuality instead of against it is essential. We explore the difference between shame and guilt, why a worthy-based operating system transforms how you show up in life, an...

What if the way you thought about quitting porn was holding you back? In this first episode of a three-part series, I explore common misconceptions about quitting pornography and why the strategies most people rely on often create more struggle than progress.

I share why trying to push urges away, relying on willpower, or treating pornography like a smoking habit or addiction keeps you stuck. When you start to understand your sexual urges as natural biological impulses rather than something to eliminate, you can shift your approach and begin to work with your sexuality instead...

Do you feel like lasting change is impossible after years of struggle with pornography? In this episode, Sam shares his story of decades of challenges, including trying a 12-step program and thinking marriage would fix the problem. He explains how shifting to a new approach helped him regain control and experience a level of freedom he hadn’t thought was possible.

Sam walks through the turning points in his journey, from early struggles with shame and willpower cycles to breakthroughs that came through focusing on meaningful milestones and practical strategies. He highlights how addressing challenges in...

Do you feel shame about your sexual thoughts or desires while trying to quit pornography? In this episode, I explore why sexual shame often causes more harm than pornography itself and how you can move past it to quit porn in a sex-positive, shame-free way.

You’ll learn how to separate natural sexual feelings from moral judgment, recognize that your thoughts do not define your worth, and approach your sexuality with curiosity instead of condemnation. This episode will help you reduce sexual shame and create a healthier, more empowered relationship with your sexual self as yo...

What can improv teach you about overcoming pornography? In this episode, coach Kat Jenkins shares how the principles of improv can be applied to quitting porn and navigating the challenges that come with it. Using rules from improv, she shows how you can change your responses, build trust with yourself, and create better outcomes in your journey.

Kat walks through nine core improv rules and explains how each can support progress. From saying yes and being a good listener to finding your team, taking up space, and understanding who holds the power in a situation...

What happens after a slip-up can determine whether you stay stuck or finally make real progress. In this episode, I break down why slip-ups do not mean failure and how your response afterward can either keep you trapped in shame or become one of the most powerful tools for lasting change.

I walk you through the four essential steps to handling slip-ups differently. You’ll learn how to stop repeating the same cycle and start using slip-ups as opportunities for growth. This episode will help you replace shame with curiosity, understand what is really fueling yo...

What do you do when quitting pornography feels really difficult? In this episode, I offer a powerful mindset shift that can completely change how you approach the hardest parts of this process. Instead of seeing discomfort as a sign that something has gone wrong, I invite you to see it as one of the most valuable skills you can develop.

You’ll learn how building your ability to handle discomfort can transform not only your journey to quit pornography, but every area of your life. This episode will help you reframe difficulty as growth, process un...

What if the thing you’ve struggled with for years didn’t have to be part of your future? In this episode, I share a powerful conversation with Logan, whose story will challenge what you believe is possible when it comes to quitting pornography.

Logan opens up about struggling with pornography for over 20 years, trying everything he could to quit, and feeling stuck in the same cycle over and over again. He talks about the frustration of doing all the “right” things and still not seeing lasting change, and the moment things finally started to shift wh...

Do you feel guilty just for having sexual urges? In this episode, I dive into the important distinction between physiology and morality and how understanding this difference can help you overcome the shame surrounding your urges to view pornography.

I explain that your sexual urges are completely natural and a normal part of being human. The problem arises when we label these physiological responses as “wrong” or “immoral.” Just like hunger or a craving for sugar, sexual urges are simply a natural bodily response. Morality comes in when we decide how we respond to those urges. B...

Do you struggle to trust yourself, especially after a slip-up? In this episode, Coach Hunter shares valuable insights on how to build self-trust, even during the moments when things don’t go as planned. Learn how to shift from a perfection-based mindset to one that builds trust through consistency and resilience.

Hunter explains that true self-trust isn’t about avoiding mistakes or achieving perfection. Instead, it’s about showing up for yourself, making small commitments, and following through with them every day. By focusing on the small victories and learning how to handle setbacks, you can cr...

Are you thinking about your porn habit in a way that’s actually keeping you stuck? If you’ve been viewing it as something that makes you unworthy or separates you from your faith, this episode offers a perspective that could change everything.

In this episode, I revisit a powerful concept that comes up often, especially for those with a religious background. I walk through the difference between sin and weakness, and why this distinction matters when it comes to quitting pornography. You’ll learn how shifting your perspective can bring you closer to God instea...

What’s possible when you change your approach to quitting pornography? Quinn’s story shows that no matter how long you’ve struggled, you can break free. After 50 years of battling his habit, Quinn found a way to completely quit, and it wasn’t through willpower alone.

Learn how Quinn turned his life around by understanding the brain’s role in his habit, shedding shame, and embracing new skills. His story proves that it’s never too late to quit, and the life you want is possible.

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What story are you telling yourself about your porn habit? In this episode, I dive into the crucial difference between facts and the stories we tell ourselves and how your story can either keep you stuck or help you move forward. While facts are objective, the stories we create around them are often based on assumptions, fears, and beliefs that may not be true.

Understanding the power of your stories helps you take back control. By changing your story, you can change your actions and your emotional experience, moving away from self-judgment and toward empowerment.<...

Have you been trying to quit pornography by fighting it? Many people approach this process like a battle, trying to resist urges, push them away, or overpower them with discipline and willpower. But when you treat urges like an enemy you need to defeat, it actually makes the process harder.

Join me this week as I show you how surrendering to urges and the emotions beneath them can completely change the way you approach quitting porn. You will learn why willpower often backfires, how resisting emotions can make urges stronger, and why allowing yourself to feel uncomfortable...

What do you do when you feel completely stuck and don’t know how to move forward? In this episode, Coach Kat Jenkins shares a simple framework to help you break out of that feeling, get unstuck, and start creating movement again, especially when you’re working on overcoming pornography.

Kat introduces four powerful questions designed to help you shift out of stuckness and take your next step. Each question offers a different lens for understanding what might be holding you back and how you can begin moving forward, even if progress feels slow. She encourages you to c...

What happens when you stop trying to hate yourself into change and learn how to work with your mind instead? In this episode, I revisit a conversation with Cannon to talk about his journey from years of struggle with pornography and self-loathing to building a completely different relationship with himself. Cannon shares how the real breakthrough wasn’t just quitting porn, but learning that it was okay to struggle and beginning the long process of moving from self-hatred to self-love.

This conversation is a powerful reminder that overcoming pornography is about far more than stopping a...

Are you constantly trying to control your sexual urges by building stronger fences, adding more rules, or relying on willpower? If so, you might be stuck in the exhausting cycle of resisting, giving in, and starting over. In this episode, I’m revisiting a powerful metaphor that will completely change how you think about your sexuality and what it actually means to be in control of it.

Instead of treating your sexuality like something dangerous that has to be locked away, I invite you to imagine it differently. What if the goal isn’t to cage...

Why do urges seem to disappear, only to come right back? If you’ve ever processed an urge and then felt discouraged when it returned, this episode will help you understand what’s really happening. I’m talking about urge flow, the natural pattern of urges coming and going, and why this is not a sign that you’re doing it wrong. It is part of learning how to handle them in a new way.

When you stop relying on willpower and start allowing urges instead of resisting them, they will ebb and flow. The goal is...

Are you tired of feeling stuck in the same thought loops that seem to run on repeat, no matter what you do? Many of the thoughts that cause distress or lead you back to old habits aren’t actually problems that need solving. In this episode, I revisit a powerful concept that can completely change how you relate to your mind and help you stop letting repetitive thoughts dictate your behavior.

I explain why thoughts often keep showing up simply because they’ve been practiced for years, not because they are true or important. This episode will help...

Are you doing all the right things but still feel stuck in the same patterns? When change doesn’t last, the issue usually isn’t discipline, motivation, or willpower. It’s the beliefs running quietly underneath everything else.

In this episode, Coach Hunter Garrett breaks down how deeply held beliefs shape emotions, choices, and habits, often without you realizing it. He walks through five practical steps to help you identify, question, and begin unlearning the beliefs that keep you stuck. This episode shows why lasting change happens from the inside out and how shifting what you be...

Are you frustrated by the idea that life should feel better once you finally quit porn? In this episode, I introduce the 50-50 principle and explain why understanding it can completely change how you approach quitting pornography. If you’ve ever thought something has gone wrong because you’re still struggling, still uncomfortable, or still dealing with hard emotions, this conversation will help you see your experience in a very different way.

The 50-50 principle is simple but powerful. Life is always made up of both positive and negative experiences, no matter where you are or w...

Are you afraid of your urges? Many people struggle with the fear and discomfort they feel when urges to view pornography arise. But what if you could completely change how you relate to these urges? In this episode, I’m revisiting one of the most important topics for anyone looking to overcome pornography: understanding that urges are not a problem.

You’ll learn how to separate urges from the thoughts that create them and how to describe your urges in neutral, non-dramatic language that makes them feel much less overwhelming. By the end of this epis...

Are you measuring your progress by counting days without pornography? If so, you may be setting yourself up for frustration and unnecessary shame. In this episode, I take a closer look at the all or nothing mindset that so many people are taught when trying to quit porn, and why starting over every time you slip up works against how real change actually happens.

I walk through what learning truly looks like in any area of life. Whether it is learning a new skill like snowboarding or playing Super Mario Bros, progress is rarely linear...

What does true freedom from porn look like? In this episode, I’m diving into the core principles shared in a recent live class. We went beyond quick fixes like willpower or filters, which often lead to shame and repression, and explored what really leads to lasting freedom.

These insights have helped clients from all different backgrounds create lasting change. By shifting your mindset and approach to overcoming pornography, you’ll learn the tools to not just quit, but to transform the way you relate to your sexuality and your life.

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Are you struggling to stay committed to your New Year's goals? The excitement of a new year can be motivating, but it often fades quickly, leaving us wondering how to keep going. In this episode, I revisit one of my most popular topics: how to follow through with your goals, especially if quitting pornography is on your list for the new year.

I address why so many people give up on their resolutions and why it’s not the goal itself, but our expectation that New Year’s energy should last forever. Instead of relying on s...

Are you struggling to recognize your progress in overcoming pornography? In this episode, coach Kat Jenkins shares a powerful indicator of success that can transform your journey: celebrating your wins. After nearly four years of coaching clients in the Overcome Pornography for Good program, Kat has identified a pattern that separates those who make lasting progress from those who feel stuck.

Kat explains the "winner's effect" and how one win can create more wins. By acknowledging and fully experiencing your wins, you trigger a biological and psychological response that boosts your confidence and performance. This...

Are you worried about staying committed during the busy holiday season? The holidays bring travel, family dynamics, stress, and disrupted routines that can trigger emotional discomfort. In this episode, Hunter addresses a concern many have when working to overcome pornography: how to keep making progress when your normal systems and routines are disrupted.

Hunter reframes the holidays not as a setback, but as an opportunity to practice the skills you've been developing. While your environment may change and emotional triggers may become louder, these challenges offer a chance to test and strengthen the tools you've l...

Do you believe you need to feel terrible about your porn use in order to change it? In this episode, I revisit why those emotional highs of celebrating a long streak and the lows of feeling devastated after a slip-up make quitting harder. When your experience swings between extremes, it becomes difficult to stay consistent, and the process starts to feel discouraging.

I explain how neutralizing your porn habit creates space for real progress. You will hear how to identify the main emotion you associate with quitting porn and how to shift toward a more g...

When sexuality and religion overlap, it is easy to get stuck looking for the “right” answer from your church or leaders. If you have ever found yourself searching for approval about masturbation, sexual decisions in your relationship, or whether quitting porn fits your faith tradition, this episode will help you understand why that search feels so confusing. The real question is not what your church says. It is whether you feel aligned with God and with yourself.

In this episode, I talk about developing your own spiritual authority instead of relying on external voices that often...

Do you get stuck in the cycle of negative “what-ifs” that hold you back from taking action? Many of us play the “what if” game, imagining worst-case scenarios that paralyze us from moving forward. Whether it’s fear of failure, shame, or anxiety, these negative thoughts can keep us from trying new things, especially when it comes to challenging old habits like pornography use.

In this episode, Coach Kat Jenkins shares a powerful coaching experience about how shifting from “below ground zero” thinking, where we spiral into fear and self-doubt, to “above ground zero” thinking, where we focus on...

So many of us grow up believing our worth is measured by how much we get done, and those messages follow us into adulthood. When you live in a culture that praises achievement, it becomes almost automatic to link productivity to being a good person. The moment you slow down or rest, your brain floods you with thoughts about what you should be doing, which creates anxiousness that often leads to buffering.

In this episode, I talk about why tying your worthiness to productivity becomes a major barrier when you want to quit porn. You w...