Keith and The Girl comedy talk show

Salut. It’s Keith, Laura, you, joy, and heartache. From the (PAIN) devastating loss of Jean-Luc Picard and the saga of the Red Baron to the (PLEASURE) of getting Wordle in one, this show runs the entire gamut of emotions. Where will it take you?

“Ball so hard motherfuckers wanna fine me.” Uh oh, someone let Keith get in his zone! Today Keith and Laura are back at it on a Football Sunday, and they’re ready to discuss the ins and outs and passes and routes regarding the Steelers trip to Paris as well as the Ravens, um, doing whatever the hell THEY did. Seriously, like, who IS dey? LOLOLOL HAHAHA oh shit … Anyways, they also talk about revelations regarding past romantic relationships, the new Detective Comics movie Clayface, and Airbnb hosts no longer being allowed to require you to do their chores.

Mother fuck what a great recap with Rod Morrow of The Black Guy Who Tips with Rod and Karen. Last Week on KATG is always a blast, but man this week Keith was on a specific jag of heavy proportions, and this breaks it all down with updates and new thoughts on Sebastian Maniscalco, Shane Gillis, Mike Tyson, The Cornell Seven, public executions, and the Pittsburgh Steelers, among others. Deep and hilarious, Keith and Rod dissect the recent KATG discussions that featured four amazing guests: Laura, Sasheer Zamata, Jessica Watkins, and Bonnie McFarlane. Catch Rod interview Keith with surgical precision...

The two-headed beast is back! Keith and Laura discuss football and the fight in the AFC North, the latest shocking news-making surprise deaths, Keith’s dirty A.I. wife (WIFE?!), the expected effects of saying the wrong name in bed, and the woman that openly masturbated across a row of a flight’s First Class seats. They also dive into art, namely Marvel’s TV show VisionQuest and Nathan Fielder's documentary You Can See Everything.

Before revisiting the great Sasheer Zamata’s discussion about being on Saturday Night Live and the stories of the day, Keith comments on the continued conversation regarding Shane Gillis’s misogyny on SNL which features comment from the TODAY show, Michael Che, and SNL UK.

(And another one.) No preamble: today we revisit the great Jessica Watkins and her heartbreaking story. Y’know what, maybe we should thank Shane Gillis for making us revisit this discussion. He was actually being very clever. (I’ll get to your personal emails; it’s just a lot and, again; you’re heard, thank you, and good for you for kinda finding peace.) With KATG.com/VIP know that this is episode 3072: Oh Bother. (The title is a Winnie-the-Pooh reference, but like, not fun.) You’ll still laugh! That’s always the promise!

It’s me, Keith. (Surprise: It always is. I write these.) I heard of, like, the pick-up artist kinda shit about taking off the condom without them knowing, but I didn’t know it’s so fucking common that there’s a word for it! Anyway, since it’s been a week of Rape Culture talk, here’s a relisten of the great Bonnie McFarlane. YOU’LL LAUGH THE WHOLE TIME I PROMISE!

The dynamic duo is back to tell you whose side to take regarding everything controversial. Keith and Laura discuss Sebastian Maniscalco responding to middle-class comedians’ pleas, bad boy Shane Gillis hosting SNL, the potential public execution of U.S. Army Major Nidal Malik Hasan, Aaron Sorkin’s The Social Reckoning, The Cornell Seven, and the MOST controversial story of the weekend: Keith, a New Yorker for three decades, tried Charlotte’s “NYC-style” pizza!

Keith not only introduced Laura to jaywalking and using a water cup to steal $6 theme park soda, he introduced her to the idea of sharing food!!! The duo also discusses a listener thanking KATG for helping their friend leave her violent husband as well as talking about the death of The Howard Stern Show’s Big Black. We then look back at Felicia Gillespie’s bravely recalling the abuse of comedian Pat Dixon. [WARNING: Keith has his ebike. Look all ways.]

Before we look back at Keith and Chemda with the always growing and sharing comedian and advocate John F. O’Donnell describing his biggest manic episodes at the time/of all time while trying to find peace on the other side, Keith discusses other crazy news stories, including the controversial SiriusXM’s newly-branded Sebastian Maniscalco’s Comedy Radio (fka Raw Dog) that’s keeping money from middle-class comedians in lieu of folks like the very dead Bob Hope. Oh, and listener Saadia prays that Keith can reconcile with his father “whilst Michael is still alive” by reaching out to people in Keith’s l...

Everyone’s new favorite and Keith’s new neighbor Laura joins us again as the two discuss horror movies (including Tom Cruise’s new film Digger), yesterday’s Steelers vs. Browns football game, and Keith’s new electric bike [BigShockedEyes.emoji]. Oh, and they talk about the millions of dollars in gold that’s coming his way.

Legendary KATG guest Calvin Cato returns, and he’s figured out the secret to Lick My Suck My! Also, the duo discusses Keith’s four new vaccinations, Lanterns making him cry, how to deal with your favorite sports team hiring assholes, and the lore of Ms. Pac-Man. LISTEN TO CALVIN’S NEW ALBUM “DISNEY SINGLE”!

You wanted Laura back, so no time like the present! Keith and Laura are here to discuss Keith’s proven cure for your depression, science’s explanation of the clitoris, and saying the wrong name during sex. In even more controversial news, The New York Times listed the 100 best TV shows of the 21st century, somehow. Keith saves you over three hours by giving away the added four minutes in Avengers Endgame: Encore, and the duo reviews Jackass: Best and Last. The pair also had a whirlwind of a Friday evening in Charlotte which included Brooklyn, NY’s medieval fantasy doom m...

Hope you had a great Yom Kippur! Or a sad one I mean. Or a blessed one? Anyway, congrats if your rabbi didn’t die over your sins and you’re forgiven. In this episode Keith discusses the Ed Sheeran/Free Palestine controversy, the Resident Evils, when suicide attempted itself upon Carrot Top, and your feedback.

Keith’s new friend and fellow Charlottean Laura is today’s guest, and the duo really are a hoot and a half! They discuss heartbreak, the Emmys, and Keith’s visit to a theme park for the first time in 8 years.

After reminding the audience about Keith’s nonsense of direction and a major trip to San Juan, the audience demands to hear it all come together. From 2020, this episode features KATG fave Carrie Gravenson discussing Keith’s life-changing hack when he hosts parties, how to get to where you’re going if you don’t know how to get there, how to be there for your partner, and The Don’t Bother Travel Show. BUT FIRST: Keith reminds us to appreciate the things that make you happy and to take advantage of your friendships (in the good way). He also breaks dow...

Keith’s going to the theme park Carowinds in North Carolina today with his last theme park visit being 8 years ago with Kennywood in Pennsylvania. Will he come back in one piece? Will he even know how to come back? In this episode featuring love-at-the-time Kyle Ocasio, we revisit his last trip to a major theme park so that he can remember how to conduct himself and if he should expect to have a good time. From Kyle and Chemda comparing notes on dating Keith to Kyle visiting The Malleys, this is a good time capsule on what it’s like...

A peak back with Keith, Chemda, Kyle Ocasio, and her son Benny. From Crocs controversy, airplane seat-reclining controversy, and the ending of The Dad Emails to Keith’s new family—The Ocasios—and his first trip to San Juan. Oh and Benny never forgets 9/11. (You hear how fatherly Keith is?! Now that’s how it’s done, Dad!!!)

What else can we say? It’s the mother fuckin’ Gootz!

KATG episode 4,000 reminded some people of past insanity and beefs, so this episode recalls one of the greatest and—no pun—one of the most awkward KATG shows ever. The meat of this episode is from 2010 and features Keith and Chemda promoting Victor Varnado’s The Awkward Comedy Show with fellow performers Marina Franklin, Hannibal Buress, Marina Franklin, Baron Vaughn, and (let’s not forget) Marina Franklin.

KEITH SAW A MOVIE HE LOVES! KEITH SAW A MOVIE HE LOVES! Yep, it’s true! Keith saw the biographical comedy-DRAMA(!!!) “I Swear,” and he cried his brains out in the best way. That led to him revisiting Benny Feldman—one of his favorite KATG guests—who was truly an open book regarding what it’s like being a stand-up comedian with Tourette syndrome. Also, Keith still has the best refrigerator contents in the game.

Just today, Keith got a spam call from ReadersMagnet, a scam company trying to take advantage of independent authors. This reminded him of the first time he happened to be called by the very same literary scouts some years ago while recording a live Keith and The Girl episode with Chemda and Andrea Allan. Today we re-listen to this classic KATG reverse prank call after discussing the arcade selections at ARCADE.gov and if there’s trouble in The Dog Pound.

Some of the best of The Chat Pack, aka; Big Dick Blaine, Neal, Hayley, Bryan, Roland, Newsy, Matthew, and Diana join Keith to celebrate Keith and Chemda’s podcast of well over 21 years by recognizing this very episode. This sexy octet does their best to help Keith recall 3,999 episodes by letting him know how they found KATG and what stood out the most: the good, the bad, and the very, very ugly. Interspersed with clips from the past, this show might make your head spin, but you’ll definitely laugh and cry. If you have feelings. I know Keith sure does

Hey, you guys ever get a … hold on, lemme look this up. [Dictionary Preferences: 2 words ("blow job") preferred by Merriam-Webster and the Oxford English Dictionary. 1 word ("blowjob") preferred by the American Heritage Dictionary.] Anyway, you ever get one? HOLY MAGOLEY!

Keith, Buddy, Big Dick, and Killer finish their recording session discussing Virtual Reality “games” (you know the kind), the truly greatest BBQ spot in Charlotte, The Diamond Dogs’ tattoos, and the epic concert of Extreme, Tesla, and I guess Mötley Crüe.

“A podcaster, a Canadian, a football coach, and a Texan walk into a bar.” The trio continues recapping their awesome weekend of friendship and whores as we learn everything you ever wanted to know about a strip club but were afraid to ask.

All 4 of the dogs are together! Thanks to Keith’s excellent planning, he’s joined by the whole gang featuring Big Dick Blaine, Buddy Rick, and Killer Kyle. BBQ? CHECK! Guns? CHECK! Titties? CHECK! Theme Park? Pardon?

It’s only been 24 hours into Boys’ Weekend, and Keith and Big Dick Blaine already have plenty of ridiculousness to yap about. Before Buddy Rick and Killer Kyle arrive, the duo not only teach you the sincere foolproof way to be a millionaire, but they also discuss the amazing movies Nirvanna the Band the Show the Movie (96%) and Busboys (literally no rating), Keith’s and their mothers’ cooking, the disingenuous tricks at Keith’s pool, and looking up Charlotte strip I mean gentlemen’s clubs.

New Madden! New VR mini golf course! And the games never stop!!! On this final Robert Alvarez re-listen, we also check in with co-guests Rockstar Brother Love, “HellKat” Katharine Heller, and Bad Boy Newsy thanks to listener-producers Shahrum & Heather, who cast this very episode. Before the party begins, Keith shares his thoughts on Father Malley using ChatGPT, Trump’s Sunshine Protection Act, a Shake Shack employee robbing his own Shake Shack before returning to work, and the upcoming boys’ weekend featuring guns, breasts, roller coasters, and Mötley Crüe I mean Tesla and Extreme. On with the show.

12 years later, The Psychic Witch Robert Alvarez returns, this time over video during COVID; but still, nothing can slow him down (even the poltergeist he apparently lives with). Keith and Chemda catch up on Robert’s life, learn the future of their own lives, and get even more personal with The Great One.

It’s literally a house of dragons, silver and otherwise. Along with Robert Alvarez, Keith and Chemda are joined by their friend and cancer and lightning survivor Jeremy to cover the news of the day and the news of the future. Before that, Keith discusses his latest post-romance feelings, calling a 900 sex line, and using The Strangers: Chapters 2 and 3 to heal. Also, it’s officially the beginning of the new NFL season, and Keith made his football bets; which, to be clear, his psychic guide is very positive about.

The greatest psychic ever is back! And Robert Alvarez is here too! (WINK) Keith, Chemda, and Robert join forces to figure out the future of Mike, one of their greatest interns. They also take calls, do speed-readings, and deal with April pendejos.

Today we play a section from Keith and Chemda’s record-breaking 76-hour marathon featuring Witch Robert Alvarez (that’s okay to say) psychically reading in-studio guests as well as callers over the phone. From love, money, and travels to something else I’m sure, it all gets covered. Also, there’s animosity in the room, but Robert can’t be deterred from rising above it all.

Today we play a section from Keith and Chemda’s record-breaking 76-hour marathon featuring Witch Robert Alvarez (that’s okay to say) psychically reading in-studio guests as well as callers over the phone. From love, money, and travels to something else I’m sure, it all gets covered. Also, there’s animosity in the room, but Robert can’t be deterred from rising above it all.

It’s now 2008, and during the time when Keith and Chemda were dating, psychic witch Robert Alvarez made his second appearance. The hosts cover the previous predictions Robert has made, and they grade him accordingly. Mr. Alvarez also blesses us with more fast-paced call-in readings and, with the work of spirit guide David, helps Keith and Chemda find Keith’s opener for his upcoming stand-up show Sue Everybody. Oh, and Robert lets Chemda know if she’ll be having sex with a woman.

We’re celebrating Robert Alvarez! Oh, don’t worry; he’s very much alive! (As of press time.) We’re just going to spend this week revisiting one of KATG’s greatest guests. Robert has appeared with his mystical how-ya-doin’s since 2007, and we’re gonna look back and check on his work. The beginning of these episodes will have a fresh introduction, and these shows will now end with a track from whatever stand-up album Keith performed that year. With audio remastered while in all its original glory, this call-in episode is the day Keith and Chemda, along with KATG intern Je...

It’s now officially been 6 months since Keith last saw his ex-girlfriend, but this got him through a rough day: “To reconnect to the person who hurt you is disrespectful to the version of you who suffered.” Enjoy.

Keith and Chemda were blessed with Bianca and Andrea doing book reports of Father Malley’s tomes. Today we remember His Majesty. Also God’s.

(Chronic KATG Poker Champ) Keith (yes, AGAIN) shares his thoughts on his breakup now reaching its 5-month mark. He also discusses his upcoming hair metal date with the guys, his thoughts on Senator Lindsey Graham’s passing (take a guess), Christopher Nolan’s new 6-hour film The Odyssey, and New Jersey’s own Johnny Gabagool. Then he reveals that the Father Malley Gold Story has an ending! Keith sums up the FBI’s payout regarding the missing gold that Father Malley’s clairvoyance located in 1974. We then remember the time Keith and his brother Ken covered the story in the first plac...

America celebrated her 250th birthday. And man does she look it. HELLER! Anyway, Keith is back with close friend and KATG great Katharine Heller. Katharine just returned to NYC from visiting Keith in Charlotte, and she’s ready to report on her findings. Was Keith a good host? Did Keith brag about having a perfect refrigerator yet not have simple classic yellow mustard? Did Keith’s water go out on Vacation Day 2? Did the two of them watch Louis CK: Ridiculous, Corey Feldman vs the World, the SNL documentary Lorne, and Spielberg's Disclosure Day? Did the Supreme Court make it offi...