Reflective Parenting Podcast by Curious Neuron
You don’t snap at your kids because you’re a bad parent. You snap because your stress builds faster than your awareness, and no one ever taught you how to handle that.I’m Dr. Cindy Hovington, a mom of three with a doctorate in neuroscience and founder of Curious Neuron. I created The Reflective Parenting Podcast for parents who care deeply, know a lot, and still find themselves overwhelmed in the real moments.This is not a podcast where I tell you how to be a perfect parent. I’m in it with you.Each week, I invite you into...
You've tried everything but bedtime is still hard: Try Tiny Experiments!
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Have you tried everything to make bedtime easier, yet it still ends in frustration? Or do you find yourself snapping at your child and wondering why the same patterns keep repeating?
In this episode, I explore ideas from Tiny Experiments by Anne-Laure Le Cunff and how we can apply them to parenting. Instead of searching for one perfect solution, I share how collecting simple “field notes” can help us understand the many factors influencing our child's behaviour, including our own stress, energy, and connection at home.
In this epis...
How children learn to regulate emotions (and behaviours)
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Hi Reflective Parents,
In today's episode, we chat about The Tripartite Model of Parental Socialization! Yes, that's nerd talk for "How do kids learn to regulate/cope with emotions?"
This is important for all of us to learn because has a significant impact on our children's behaviour, our stress, their success in school and in building friendships and even their future well-being.
Learn how to create the best home environment that lowers your stress, teaches your child how to cope with emotions and supports healthier behaviour from a...
Am I doing too much for my child (and is it impacting their confidence)?
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As parents, we often step in to help our children because we love them and want to make life easier for them. However, when we constantly solve their problems, prevent frustration, or take over tasks they could learn to manage, we may unintentionally limit their opportunities to develop emotional regulation, resilience, problem-solving skills, and confidence.
In this episode, I explore the research on over-parenting, Jessica Lahey's book The Gift of Failure, and reflect on why allowing children to experience uncomfortable emotions, make mistakes, and face appropriate consequences is an important part o...
How understanding our nervous systems changes the way we parent | Laura Petix
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I'm joined by occupational therapist and author Laura Petix to celebrate the launch of her new book, The Sensory Code. Laura shares the moment she took her own daughter to the ER because of daily meltdowns, and how that experience shaped her work with parents.
In this episode, we talk about:
The difference between a tantrum and a meltdown, and why length and recovery time matterWhy gentle parenting still matters even when it doesn't stop the meltdownThe eight sensory systems, including interoception, and why hunger or worry can trigger a "...How do we teach kids to think critically in a world full of misinformation?
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As parents, many of us want our children to do well in school, but what if one of the most important skills they need is not memorizing information, but learning how to question it?
In this episode, you and I reflect on what it means to raise critical thinkers in a world filled with headlines, social media experts, AI-generated information, and endless opinions. Together, we explore how curiosity, thoughtful questions, and open conversations at home can help our children learn not just what to think, but how to think.
...
Am I Disciplining or Threatening My Child? What Science Says About Verbal Abuse
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I'm back with part two of the conversation sparked by my episode with Georgiana but this time digging into one of the most misunderstood words in parenting: discipline.
Pulling from Dan Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson's No-Drama Discipline, I challenge how most of us were taught to think about the word — punishment, stopping a behavior that's annoying us — versus what actually works: discipline as teaching.
I share a moment from my son's soccer practice that stopped me in my tracks: a dad switching to Italian mid-practice to threaten his seve...
The Difference Between Discipline and Punishment | Georgianna Karamitos
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In this episode, I sit down with Georgianna Karamitos — a lawyer, educator, trauma-informed conflict resolution practitioner, and children's book author — to unpack the real difference between discipline and punishment. We dig into why repeating yourself doesn't work until a child feels heard, how power struggles hijack parent-child relationships, why "relational safety" is the missing piece in most conflict, and what the neuroscience actually says about spanking and harsh discipline. If you are a parent stuck in the loop of "I've said this ten times and nothing changes" then this episode is for you!
What if conflict were actually an invitation for intimacy?
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Hi Reflective Parents, Ever feel stuck arguing about the same thing over and over with your partner? In this episode, I break down a key concept from the Gottmans' book Fight Right: that perpetual conflict often hides a deeper "dream" underneath it, and naming that dream can turn conflict into a chance for real intimacy.
I also reflect on what this means for parenting from bedtime battles to unrealistic expectations and how getting curious with your child, the same way you would with a partner, can change everything.
Come r...
Reflecting About the New School Year: Expectations, Slowing Down & Sparking Curiosity
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Hi Reflective Parents! As we jump into a new school year, I wanted to take some time to pause with you and reflect on how we can make this year feel a little less stressful and a lot more connected. This episode was inspired by a question from a mom that emailed me and I'm bringing in some unexpected inspiration — including a quote from a romance novel (Yours Truly) that changed the way I think about how we relate to our kids.
I'm sharing three things I believe can make a rea...
Reflecting on how mental heath care is failing us all
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Hi Reflective Parents,
In today's episode, I share my honest thoughts about mental health care and honestly, they are not that positive.
It's been feeling a little heavy these days with the Lindsay Clancy trial, a father that reached out who is struggle with depression and my own mental health from not having been in our home since January.
I share my thought and as always, I share what I am doing to work through this hard season.
Come reflect with me and if you want...
Reflections on what we need to teach our kids about conflict (which also applies to adults)
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In this episode, I reflect on what it really means to teach children how to handle conflict. Drawing from my own experience coaching my seven- and nine-year-old sons through months of sibling conflict, I share practical ways to help children slow down, communicate their needs, listen to one another, and take responsibility for their part.
Here are the 3 reflections you can discuss with your kids after they had conflict:
What could I have said or done differently to de-escalate this argument?Did I give the other person space to talk...Reflections on Conflict: What If Conflict Is Actually Healthy?
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What if conflict isn't something we need to avoid—but something we need to learn how to do?
In this episode, I reflect on Brené Brown's idea of “rumbling” from Dare to Lead and what it can teach us about conflict at home. Instead of trying to win an argument, what if the goal was to unravel—to get curious, understand each other's perspectives, own our part, and work through the messy middle together?
I share personal reflections on how my own experiences shaped the way I use...
Reflections on Daring to Lead as a Parent
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In this episode, I reflect on Brené Brown’s Dare to Lead and what it means to bring the principles of daring leadership into parenting. I explore how courage, vulnerability, self-awareness, and connection show up in our homes and in the way we lead our children.
In this episode we reflect on:
What it means to be a leader for our children and how parenting and leadership work overlap.The heart of daring leadership: courage, vulnerability, and “rumbling” with difficult conversations at home.How fear, self-awareness, and self-love shape the way we...Reflections on resilience, freedom & identity from the book In Order to Live
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In this episode, I reflect on In Order to Live by Yeonmi Park and the deep questions it raised for me about freedom, identity, resilience, and what it means to think for ourselves. The book prompted powerful reflections on how we understand our own stories, how we support our children’s sense of self, and how freedom can feel both expansive and exhausting.
I also connect the book’s themes to parenting, especially around giving children room to explore who they are, make mistakes, ask questions, and develop their own identity. For...
Reflections on loving more deeply and being present
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This week, I'm sharing six simple mantras from the book How to Love that made me stop, reflect, and think differently about the way I show up as a parent, partner, and person.
Together, we'll explore what it really means to be present, to recognize when someone we love is struggling, to ask for help when we're suffering, to notice the happy moments that are easy to overlook, and to remember that in conflict, two people can both be partly right.
These aren't parenting tips or book summaries. They're...
Reflections on the Hidden Risks Inside Kids' Group Chats
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What does Toy Story 5 have to do with raising emotionally healthy kids?
Trigger warning: masturbation is mentioned in this episode.
Much more than I expected. After watching the movie with my children, I found myself reflecting on something far bigger than screen time: the conversations we're not having about friendship, group chats, and cyberbullying.
In this episode, I share the true story of a Grade 6 classroom that left me speechless, explore what research tells us about the long-term impact of cyberbullying, and offer three simple reflection questions you...
3 reflections about how we take care of ourselves as parents
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Why do so many parents feel like they don't have time to take care of themselves?
The answer isn't as simple as being busy.
This week, we're reflecting on a passage from the book How to Love by Thich Nhat Hanh and exploring why our own needs slowly disappear after becoming parents. I'll also share a simple reflection exercise that helped me reconnect with the things that brought me joy before having children—and why gratitude may be more powerful than we think.
In this ep...
Reflections on Radicalization: Could It Happen to My Child?
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When we hear the word radicalization, we often think, "That could never happen to my family." But what if radicalization begins with something much more human—a need to belong, to feel understood, or to make sense of emotional pain?
In this episode, I sit down with men's coach and former counterterrorism professional James Stamatelos to explore why some young people become vulnerable to extremist ideas, how social media can amplify that vulnerability, and what parents can do to build stronger protective relationships with their children.
...
3 reflections on how you experience unpleasant emotions
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How do you allow yourself to feel, experience and move past unpleasant emotions?
In this episode, I share how unpleasant emotions like worry, sadness, or even boredom can lead to some behaviours we might want to be more aware of.
If you notice that you often get stuck in unpleasant emotions or that your anger or frustration leads to harder moments with loved ones, then this episode is for you.
Here are today's 3 reflections:
Can I let myself feel an uncomfortable emotion without tryi...3 reflections on what my grandma taught me about parenting
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This was a hard episode for me to record but I needed to honour my grandmother who passed away yesterday.
Today's reflections are:
Does my child feel loved and respected by me?Does my child feel like they belong?Do I help my child build their confidence by letting them fail or giving them opportunities to prove to themselves that they can do itI hope you enjoy this episode and that it helps you reflect on how you are showing up for you...
3 reflections on self-love (and how this will nourish your happiness)
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This week, we are reflecting on our self-love.
This week's reflections are:
How do I nourish my happiness?Do I see my body and mind as my home?How do you feed your mind and body?As parents I think we need to remember to pause, reflect, and reconnect with what truly nourishes us. This reminds us that we matter and that we do love ourselves. These reflections are inspired by the book How to Love. I hope this week's episode can help you be more intentional with what...
Why self-care isn't working for you
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I'm Back!
After five months away from the microphone, I'm finally back.
If you've been wondering where I've been, thank you for checking in. Your emails, messages, and support meant more to me than you know.
I explain what happened in this episode and share how this time away also gave me space to reflect.
In also share what I've been learning about capacity the idea that our ability to cope, connect, parent, and respond changes throughout the d...
You, Your Husband, and His Mother: Untangling a Tricky Family Dynamic with Dr. Tracy Dalgleish
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Family dynamics can feel especially intense around the holidays and one of the most challenging patterns many parents face is the triangle between you, your partner, and your mother-in-law. In today’s episode, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish returns to the podcast to help us make sense of this dynamic with compassion, clarity, and evidence-based tools.
In this conversation, I sit down with Dr. Tracy Dalgleish, psychologist and author of You, Your Husband & His Mother, to unpack why the mother-in-law / daughter-in-law dynamic is so emotionally charged and how it qu...
Your Triggers Aren’t a Parenting Failure — They’re a Signal
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If you’ve ever ended a night thinking, “Why did I snap again?” — this episode is for you.
Today, we’re diving into what’s really happening in your brain and body when your child pushes your buttons. Because those intense reactions? They aren’t proof that you’re a bad parent. They’re signals from a nervous system in overdrive — and once you can recognize those signals, you can change the way you respond.
We’ll talk about:
Why your child’s emotions can feel like a threat to your brainThe...The reason you snap at your kids (and what you can try instead)
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Hi Reflective Parents! This week, we are talking about something I keep hearing from parents which is snapping at our kids even when we are working on ourselves by learning about parenting or even going to therapy.
You are not failing your child. You are still learning many skills that lead to you becoming more aware of your own state before you snap.
In this episode, I walk you through 3 steps that might help you catch yourself the next time you snap (notice I didn't say BEFORE you snap....t...
Why parenting advice won't help you stop snapping at your kids
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If you keep snapping, shutting down, or feeling guilty, even though you “know” what to do... this episode will finally make it make sense.
After speaking with more than 200 parents, I’ve noticed the same pattern:
We are drowning in parenting advice, but no one is teaching parents the one skill that actually changes everything, how your nervous system works.
In this episode, I talk about:
Why you still lose patience even after therapy, courses, and all the scriptsWhat’s really happening in your bod...What all dads need to hear about emotions and their son's future mental health
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Today on the Reflective Parenting Podcast, I’m sitting down with Dr. Brendan Kwiatkowski-Hartman to talk about something many parents quietly wonder about:
Why do boys sometimes pull away emotionally and how can we support them without pushing too hard?
Brendan is a researcher who has spent years studying boys, masculinity, and emotional expression. What he learned in his PhD work is both reassuring and eye-opening: boys do feel deeply, even when it looks like they’ve shut down. And the reasons they hold back are often more...
Are you having unhealthy conflict? Here's what science says.
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This episode will change how you see conflict.
We’re talking about the proven communication patterns that destroy connection and how to replace them with healthier ones.
You’ll learn:
the Four Horsemen (with real examples)how the demand–withdraw cycle keeps couples stuckthe shocking research: negative conflict literally slows wound healinghow your nervous system shapes your reactions (before your thoughts do)3 simple questions from Jefferson Fisher that can change the next conversationThis is not about fixing the last fight.
This is about changi...
Understanding your nervous system in conflict with the authors of Beyond Difficult
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If you’ve ever wondered why you become a different version of yourself during conflict… this episode is going to change the way you see those moments forever.
I’m sitting down with psychologists and authors Rachel Samson and Dr. Jessie Stern to unpack the science beneath conflict: your attachment history, your temperament, your nervous system sensitivity, and how all of this shapes the way you argue, withdraw, pursue, or shut down.
This episode is not about “how to argue better.”
It’s about understandin...
Relational Savoring: The Neuroscience of Calm and Connection
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Ever wonder why some moments with your child feel effortless and deeply connected — while others leave you drained, reactive, or misunderstood? In this episode, we break down the science behind why.
Dr. Jessie Stern and psychologist Rachel Samson join Cindy to explore relational savoring — a simple yet powerful way to strengthen your bond by intentionally remembering moments of warmth, safety, and love. You’ll learn how this practice calms your nervous system, reduces stress, and builds emotional security — for both you and your child.
They also unpack the role...
What Many Parents Get Wrong About Toddler Behavior
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In today’s episode, Devon Kuntzman and I dive deep into what’s really happening inside your toddler’s brain when they lose it — and how you can respond without spiralling yourself.
We unpack why your child’s meltdowns aren’t your fault, what they’re trying to tell you through their behavior, and the simple mindset shift that will change how you see tantrums forever.
If you’ve ever thought, “Why is my child doing this to me?” or “I said no… why can’t they just listen?” then this episode will make y...
The missing skill that helps parents and kids stay calm: Interoception
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Last week, we uncovered how your child’s behaviour is really their nervous system communicating.
Today, we’re going deeper, inside the body, to explore the science of interoception, the hidden sense that helps us feel and understand our emotions.
My guest, Laura Petix, is back to break down how learning to tune into your body’s internal signals can transform the way you regulate emotions, set boundaries, and parent with calm.
We’ll explore what the research says including new studies showing that peo...
Why understanding your nervous system helps you with your emotions
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You’ve heard the advice: “Teach your child to name their emotions.”
But what if the real secret to helping your child (and yourself) regulate emotions starts deeper inside the body?
In this episode, I sit down with pediatric occupational therapist Laura Petix (The OT Butterfly) to uncover what’s really going on when kids have meltdowns, get overstimulated, or shut down. Spoiler alert: it’s not about being “bad” or “defiant.”
Laura explains how your child’s behavior is actually a message from their nervous system...
How do we build resilience in our kids without being harsh or overprotective
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Do you ever hear your child say things like, “I’m such a bad kid” or “I’ll never be good at this” and your heart sinks because you don’t know what to say?
You’re not alone. And this episode is about to change the way you respond.
Today, I’m sitting down with award-winning science journalist and author Melinda Wenner Moyer to talk about her latest book Hello, Cruel World, a toolkit for raising confident, resilient kids in today’s messy, complicated world.
Here’s the truth:<...
The Science of How Discipline and Punishment Impact a Child’s Brain Differently
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Parents, this one is big.
Today we’re breaking down punishment vs discipline, what science says, how it impacts your child’s brain, and why so many of us feel stuck in the cycle of punishing even when we don’t want to.
If you’ve ever thought, “I don’t want to yell, spank, or threaten…but it just slips out when I’m overwhelmed,” you are not alone.
Here’s what you’ll learn today:
What studies reveal about how spanking and harsh discipline change the...
How to connect with a child that shuts you down (without losing your cool)
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This episode will change how you see your child’s moods and how you respond to them.
If you’ve ever tiptoed around your child in the morning, worried the “wrong” cereal bowl or shirt will set off a meltdown, this conversation is for you.
Joining me is Dr. Alex Reed, pediatric clinical psychologist and mom of two, who has spent years helping families understand temperament, moodiness, and emotional regulation. Together, we pull back the curtain on what’s really happening when your child seems unpredictable, reactive, or even sa...
How music can lower stress and anxiety (for you and your child)
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This episode will inspire you to see music as a powerful tool for connection, healing, and everyday parenting.
It’s an invitation to play, sing, and create moments of joy with your children while learning how music can also soothe anxiety, ease transitions, and strengthen emotional bonds.
And it’s a behind-the-scenes look at the real science of music therapy – far beyond entertainment and how it can transform lives across every age and stage.
Joining me is Tanya Lavoie, a certified music therapist who works in ped...
Replay: Looking beyond your child's behaviour with Dr. Mona Delahooke
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I am going to be taking a short break.
Meanwhile, enjoy this replay of one of my favourite episodes with Dr. Mona Delahooke. If you have a young child that has tantrums or that acts out in ways you don't know how to support, this episode will help you understand how to support your child in these challenging moments.
Learn more from Dr. Delahooke below:
https://monadelahooke.com/
Support the show
Join the Reflective Parent Book Club for only $9.99 for th...Is my child ready for kindergarten readiness? (emotionally)
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Is your child ready for kindergarten from an emotional perspective?
In this episode, Cindy discusses the emotional aspects of kindergarten readiness, emphasizing the importance of emotional intelligence and self-awareness in children. She introduces the tripartite model of parental socialization, which highlights how parents' emotional coping, parenting styles, and conflict resolution impact children's emotional development. The conversation also covers practical strategies for parents to support their children's emotional growth and prepare them for school.
Takeaways
A science-based tool that helps you shift your perspective (and build your resilience)
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In this episode, we explore the idea of “shifting your lens” — a powerful metaphor grounded in science that helps parents understand how their interpretation of a situation shapes their emotional response. Drawing on the work of psychologist James Gross and his research on cognitive reappraisal, we break down how the lens you’re wearing (like blame, control, or shame) can fuel conflict and dysregulation, especially in moments of parenting stress.
You’ll learn how to identify the lens you’re in, how to shift your lens to something more helpful (like curiosity or...
