Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak

A hungry woman roams the West Village. Jacqueline has had two magical nights in the garden and wonders what a third might cost. Kate gets the protein in and stacks appointments. An heirloom tomato for a special girl. The rules are the rules, but surely there’s a way. Secret knowledge withheld from the common American, now available in an eight-minute musical. A hot smoothie divides the room. The poetry of The Crown and sharp cheddar on the chili. Call your friend’s mother. She’s up for grabs.

In this week’s remix the hags are examining the Social Cloak and what it means to be a person among people. Kate receives a compliment that must be examined immediately, while Jacqueline considers the pressure to adore the child of the event. A handwritten note vanishes and seeking credit only puts you further into debt. The squeeze must end. Sweeping cancellations and the terror of getting dinner on the books. A coffee shop offers the ecstasy of community. Hold the facial expression for four paces, then let it go. Maybe life is the trip to the bathroom.

This week the hags are away and bringing you a favorite from the archive: Halloween Peabody.

The podcast is 4 episodes into independence. Straight hair and a red-light morning sends Kate soaring. A Halloween costume takes shape in Jacqueline's mind. Floating heads, a ghost cluster, and tears that break through the paywall. Balance is an ideal, not to be achieved in real life; a bag of popcorn and one tiny strawberry may suffice. Jacqueline demonstrates nerve flossing’s gentler cousin, nerve slackening. Kate recalls her very first beg. The New Yorker Fest is inevitable.

Sometimes it’s important not to get your eight. Kate arrives after a night of caviar and champagne while Jacqueline considers the terror of washing the brain. Eye crust, ants at the headboard, and the risks of Googling before consulting The Tribunal. Lamb-free oats and the inbox pummeling continues. The fly swatter slices through the air, and nary a wind is felt. Kate reports from first class, where basic human dignity is a nod. Jacqueline examines the feminine and the injury. Trying not to reaggravate a shoulder thing that doesn’t exist. Smiling below the mask. Give me a carr...

Dreaming is the work. This week, the hags continue to consult the great texts and channel the true thinkers. Confronting the arrogant belief that you have knowledge of your own subconscious. Bookmarks and highlights. Kate needs a Jungian therapist and Jacqueline is willing to suspend her disbelief. Where’s my Objection Book? Googling ‘self-reliance’ and hunger for the quotes. And we shall be forced to take with shame our own opinion from another! You make a decision and then you make it the right one.

Someone’s in a workshop right now to get over knowing you. This week, the hags consult the great texts and channel the true thinkers. Kate joins Jacqueline’s Caroline Myss reading club. Souvenir Tiger. Jacqueline receives a Pema Chödrön reading from Kate. The white knuckle grip and cheating ourselves out of the present moment. Blood blooms and a silent podcast. Eat Pray Love is an important text, but have the conversation. The ego loves to seek, but never to find! 

Honk if you don’t exist! In this week’s remix, the hags wade into the world of bodyworkers, energy healers, reiki masters and blocked chakras. Jacqueline experiences KY Jelly hands, while Kate writhes dramatically in the backroom. The high cost of a flea market psychic and looking for god in all the wrong places. Learning the shamanic techniques. Can I enter your energy field? Cutting the chord, slime, and putting water on the plate. No tool is inherently good or bad — but Zoom healing is the highest form. 

A misread covid test, a night of wild dancing and a trip to the foot doctor. In this week’s remix, the hags are waiting, writhing and ready to see the doctor. The endless pursuit of appointments and referrals, the power of self-diagnosis and medical anxiety. Kate’s nine months of pain and six months to live. See, it hurts! Jacqueline’s theory about injuring the body to heal it. A mother with neck tension, a mental metaphor of the body and a house you can’t see. The relief of snipping the muscle string — it better be deep tissue. A...

Do you believe in jinx? Anger on the walk, a toilet in the shot, and the insanity of The Birthday. Jacqueline is constantly outrunning the future, while Kate is put at ease by planning it. Witnessing the spider make a big catch — did you know they can leave the web? Screaming at the man in the Zoom background and screaming the c-word out of the cab. Jacqueline wants to try living on New York time in LA, while Kate locates a believable impression of the Birthday girl. The supremacy of secondary media and why horror matters. Three days back on...

In this week’s remix, the hags are bitching about sleep. Jacqueline’s up at 6am and Kate is sleeping through Morning Poog. Napping and pushing up against the wall. The storied sleep attacks of the ad agency era and the dream of a specialist telling you you’re special. Salma Hayek and the ‘wrong side’ of the bed. The time Jacqueline sleep talked at Kate. Going lucid and the dream of astral projection.

Emails were drafted, calls were made, and a law office was opened. This week the hags bring you their second installment of grievances, injustices and scams: A woman’s right to steal at Sephora, paranoia when Mark from Bank of America calls, and a stolen uber at LAX will not go unpunished. There’s soot everywhere, and Kate is feeling furious, wronged and abused. Welcome back to the Law Offices of Berlant and Novak.  

Emails were drafted, calls were made, and a law office was opened. This week the hags bring you a remix chock full of some of their favourite moments featuring grievances, injustices and scams. You pay for the lock… a nut should never have entered the home… I’ll see you in court. Welcome to the Law Offices of Berlant and Novak.  

This week the hags are away and bringing you a favorite from the Poog archive: A Zero Involved.

A masseuse in Kate’s home reminds her of the necessity of addressing the angels and eating pears. New blocks are located, while Jacqueline scrambles pancakes. What else does one put in a dishwasher? Phone call avoidance and the myths of protein. The hours you’re asleep still count, but where does it start? A math lesson leaves Kate feeling seen.

Poog is at the doctor’s office this week, as Kate visualizes her partner and mother for safety during a neck angio CT scan. Jacqueline is at the hotel she never has to check out of — her parents’ house. The idea of a single tit when the robe opens. Is the valet not fundamentally validated? The stench of B vitamins, the presence of a mini fridge, and a drink likely pulled from a barrel. Kate tries an old lip stain while her daughters sleep over at Sephora. Stand up to blend in. Jacqueline evokes the alienated figure with thoughts of wor...

Are you aware that your site is down? Jacqueline calls in from her Toronto tour stop and the meds are running out, while Kate is podcasting from the neighborhood fishbowl. Eating in front of the TV, coffee tables and cold cream. The hags map out a year in Spain... but has it been Canada the whole time? Always a buyer, never a seller. Jacqueline explains how to wash underwear in a Nespresso machine. The saga of gel manicures and Storage Wars. Kate decants for a dirty day and takes a long walk to a little weed shop. Planetary talk...

The nectarines were not ripe, nor were the figs sweet. Recent weeks have seen the hags confronted with uncharmable doctors and unruly hecklers. Jacqueline recounts stories from her day job at the FBI and Kate’s full-body scan results are in. Illness, the corner restaurant and a double date to The Odyssey. Sometimes the doctor agrees with your diagnosis. 

This week on Poog, we're bringing you another round of the hags' most formative moments: Jacqueline teaches Kate the Pallbearer Shuffle. The uppermost Pringle is considered. Shopping in Target before a cameo on Bonks That Kill. A technique for social media moderation is proposed. Jacqueline sings a little ditty about Jack and Diane, while Kate’s LAX uber gets stolen by a Brody Jenner look-alike. 

This week on Poog, we're bringing you a collection of some of the hags' most formative moments: Mornings could be huge. It was mushrooms the whole time. Movie theatre epiphanies and medical-grade ugliness. Lying about Juilliard and being a young prodigy.

The Habit covers everything but the face. Jacqueline reflects on the self-authority lockdowns produced, while Kate revisits the birthplace of Poog. A honey and milk scrub conjures fears of dissection. Awards for ghost kitchens through the lens of fertility and zits in a line. Jacqueline shares the results of a skin check. Placebo works, folks! Drawing the blinds and doing incantations over tofu — don’t bring fixation into someone else’s energy field. Memories of the Russian banya, marbled skin and tending by other hands. This could go bigger than Youtube.

I work nights! This week on Poog, we're bringing you our favorite moments when Kate just...made things up. Whether to avoid a friend, defuse a fight, or to just have some fun — Kate's getting creative with the truth and Jacqueline's analyzing why she can't get enough of it.

Entering the stage in character. This week, hags are dropped in as Kate walks and Jacqueline cooks. Both hotel rudeness and home deliveries abound. Tofu strategies and the origins of Dimes Square. Jacqueline pinpoints the tough thing about all products and services, though foot nor shoe should sticky laminate meet. Kate spots husband-wife hags and five-broom rankings are doled out to some, while others are riding til the rails come off. There’s no interest in the rooftop roast or the small-potted cactus. It’s not random.

Nerves cringe, fear wells up inside and doubt floods the way. A man arrives at Kate’s door and Jacqueline delivers a monologue. Unearthing the long lost comedy club cheque and dirty underwear — the hags are already convinced the saffron is working. Youtube is up on Kate’s TV, while Jacqueline is turning her’s off. Reading aloud on the ADD balance board, tea has always been the answer. Are you obsessed? A tale of a road hag is told, while Kate queries the nighttime numbness. You can't call a hair twice but three taps always calms the spirit. Kate is ca...

This week, Jacqueline’s on eastern time while Kate holds it down in pacific. The kind of pain others can see and ceaseless reinvention. When the computer takes the long way home and the case for stealing at the airport. Barfing in Denver, intuitive booking and full-body scans. A hard brush the morning before the dentist... when sickness hits. The Yogurt Shop Murders and harrowing Uber rides, galore. Good rapport, driving too fast. Jacqueline recalls slowly rolling into something and Kate can’t just be dressed up in some guy’s car. Break a leg, bitch.

T...

Frozen Poog is served. Mr. Novak has entered the group chat and fears of lyme disease resurface. Jacqueline explains the celebrity kook, while Kate takes the long walk home that heals. Naming the competitor and the Erewhon of New York. Playing the free thing off as a special treat... own up, folks. Kate won’t be shamed for eating fast and Jacqueline takes the new subway. The International postal system continues to delight. Remembering the Pinkberry lawsuit and two hours in line for chalky sprinkles and snake tongue. 

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It’s robe dinner, and the hags are thinking live. Kate channels the rage of knocking furniture during a home workout, while Jacqueline dissects “cramps”. Should we all be on peptides? When a waiter re-serves your leftovers and memories of living at Sea. Typing out each other’s addresses. Couples Therapy, Taxicab Confessions and a new savior. Overvaluing the smooth canvas. Kate may be getting jacked, Jacqueline promotes the workout cave. Practicing the monologue… if you can cover it up, it’s not inherent. 

Blowing back our cheeks and headed for the farm. It’s time to learn how to survive. Kate is alive in her army jacket, while Jacqueline reminisces about her barn coat. Paging Dr. Me. The kabocha pushes back and the fear of bad arugula. What color is Jacqueline’s hair? A salad bar in the fridge and a harness on Boo's back. The possibility of abduction brings uncertainty, but it’s the reintegration that gets you. Kate experiences two-yolk prosperity. Burping the house and mochi for kids. A Poog playlist is teased, as the hags take turns djing. Slightly buzzed...

Lost in the curtain and looking up rugs. This week, a manifested paediatrician, the willingness to sing, and a foretold pilgrimage. Kate shares her true feelings about choreography, while Jacqueline engages in extreme massaging of the neck. Self-containment and ghosting the ghost tour. If that’s not Gaia, what is? An update on Kate's nightstands and Jacqueline’s scrolling relationship. Black pointy boots and babies at Shirley Temple’s house. The willingness to sing inspires a night that the Berlants wont soon forget. A tear rolling down the cheek, all lights are green. 

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The revolution will be nightstand. Kate's long-awaited allergy test comes back and Jacqueline sifts through the confounding results. Mismatched woods or matching? Grohl Bowls and a minimum age for doctors. A thorough investigation of nightstands and the appropriate price to pay for them. Facebook Marketplace and a reduction in narrative are prescribed. Kate lists all that lies beside her bed. Mr. Baby and Instagram soup. Jacqueline finds Celsius in the cigarette shop and two thermometers in her bag. CVS after dark with a wine bar in the back? On FaceTime with Boo the Cat and dreams of a grocery...

It’s the first episode since reclamation. Poog is back, this time as an independent podcast. The spirit of sovereignty finds Jacqueline and Kate levitating in the studio, face to face. It’s sacred phones only, it’s gm lowercase only. Jacqueline finds herself all bags, no drink in hand, and 5 hotels deep. On New York time, Kate did the unthinkable. A transatlantic state of focus, old nudes, and let me guess — a fusion flow? Does the Pomelo Method constitute fruit before noon? To have achieved a verb. Jacqueline unschedules Kate live and two weeks of 7am wake-up are promised...

It’s almost eerie what you can act yourself into. Jacqueline is sourcing Christmas for comfort and Kate is experimenting with corkage fees. An update on the cruel barista drives Kate and Jacqueline to revisit role-play, as eavesdroppers weigh in. A 4pm ‘Matcha & Myss’ is considered and the healing archetype of Larry David is called upon. Avoidance drives Kate to act out purchasing a pie, as a heart is carved into the ankle. Another ghost at another hotel — energy hygiene now. Scientology style.

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What am I bringing back out of the trash? Jacqueline frees Kate from ADHD paralysis, as countless hacks are shared. A hamper in every room! Running down the clock and days spent in parking lots. A leaning tower of pants and folding within reason. Revisiting Kate’s ‘bad phone’ — or ‘correspondence’ — system. DIY desk-making has always been huge for Jacqueline. Chugging water with a hand up in the air: morning module!

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This week, we’re taking free feeders behind the paywall, and over to Paris. Jacqueline and Kate found themselves in the city of love at the same time, last spring… and it was incredible. This episode was heard first by our Premium Subscribers, as part of the monthly bonus recordings Kate and Jacqueline record for them. If you want to get monthly bonus episodes along with other perks, head over to http://berlantnovak.supercast.com to become a subscriber.

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In this special recording from the Berlant & Novak vault, Kate suffers chimney sweep-induced TMJ flare. What to do when the line goes dead and the mailbox is full? It’s a dirty job. A jaw dislodged and the practice of refunding, examined. Free soot-foot photos, a corner cobweb, and a rage that shakes. Cleaner Gary didn’t lie: soot is the most difficult thing to get out. Jacqueline’s view on bad reviews is unveiled. The Hags are called to listen, not act… let our community not spread more soot, but instead seek to sweep it.

Is it a three or four-broom hotel? Memories of Kate’s first Ritz and the dread of lobby coffee. Hags are always welcome at Jacqueline's Copper Inn. Is that a BJ stain on the performance velvet couch? A tough Ludlow and what to do when the cleaner walks in on you naked. Kate makes a call to the front desk after a disturbing night in Bend, Oregon… He’s God fearin’. 

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Mister Cabbage, it’s me. Jacqueline’s honest answer elicits laughter from a school psychologist & an attic tutor rewards Kate with candy. Childhood photos and the formative experience of shopping with a peer. Student council and film club. Framing a child? When Jacqueline was a candle maker and Kate went to The Price Is Right. The 13-year-old period fear that still lingers, and the life phases reviewed. 

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If you ever hea...

Let’s start with the goal, right? Eclipse season looms large, as Kate and Jacqueline meet eyes under the studio lights. A search for meaning around some light symptoms inspires a Novak analysis. Caroline Myss graces Hag ears as Jacqueline bemoans Kate not submitting to this recommendation earlier. The ego wants to call even when there is no question. Male healers are remembered for their unorthodox tools and middling results. When the phone dies, birds are singing. Amid the reckoning of generic Wellbutrin, a new ADD method is born. Deviated septum nose job culture and a boyfriend in medical sc...

It’s never personal, except for when it is. In studio this week, where Jacqueline’s headache is quelled with Kate’s purse pills. At hag homes, small rooms get big beds. Kate’s ass is on a pillow and her legs are against the wall. Hags must beware a tight neck. When the barista harbors a personal grudge and top hats stay hidden. Complementary schismogenesis means the martini tastes better if it was made just for you? Read a book, earn a book.

Edited and mixed by Allie Graham

Music by Naomi McPherson...

Glory when someone submits to your recommendation. Jacqueline and Kate revisit the hardest acting challenge: surprise. The Hags’ second ever guest breaks in unexpectedly much like a tiger into a church, and childhood memories of vomit re-examined. Jacqueline was cabinet maker before she was ever a standup comedian. And Uncle Fester meant more than you know to Kate. Sometimes the art is too good and other times civic rage drives one to use big words poorly. In other news, Kate is starting pre-med and Jacqueline’s becoming a trial lawyer. It's always and therefore never too late. 

E...

Kate and Jacqueline analyze what made a man on Twitter say such a nasty thing. The hags reflect on the indecency of Pop Crave and the courage it takes to feel ugly next to beautiful women. Jacqueline recounts interactions with trolls and Kate considers starting a Serial-esque podcast to get closure. Some of these men have dogs — daughters, even. Ultimately, this is the abstraction of violence — but the Hags wonder whether Daniel was just fulfilling his sacred contract to Kate. The walking brain is different and if you post about Tom Cruise he will see it.

Edi...

Standing by with joy in their hearts, a mosquito enters the frame. At the beach, Jacqueline and Kate expanded their fields before a setting sun. Reckoning with pendulums, the hags consider the one-song party, the subjectivity formation of teen shopping, and the dangerous effects of music. A cat in the home means new patent possibilities from Jacqueline.  Condoms for your ear, analog visors, and sun hats.

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If you ever...