The Ultimate Birth Partner Podcast
Everything a pregnant woman and her partner need to know to support them in preparation for labour, birth, and the early days with a new baby. This podcast gives both you and your partner the confidence and knowledge about the role they play throughout your birth, so they don't undermine or ruin the birth for you. Throughout these episodes, my guests and I will share with you our experience of being a birth keeper and advocate for women across the globe. This podcast is inclusive and invites guests from all backgrounds to enable you to hear a wide range of...
Episode 188 - Risk
Risk is a word that is often used to describe a particular type of pregnancy, but how often do we actually stop to think about what that word means, and what it really tells us about the pregnancy?
In this episode, I explore what happens when a pregnancy is described as high risk or low risk, and how easily these labels can begin to influence the way we think about pregnancy and birth. Once a pregnancy has been given a particular risk label, it can be very easy to hear that...
Episode 187 - Environment
Where you give birth matters — but environment is about much more than the room you give birth in.
In this episode, I’m looking at what Environment really means within the SPACE Framework™ and how the physical and emotional environment around you can influence how you feel, respond and participate during labour.
The people in the room, the atmosphere, privacy, noise, interruptions, lighting, equipment and the way you are spoken to can all become part of your birth environment.
And sometimes that environment will change during labour. Knowing what matters to you, a...
Episode 186 - Conditions
CONDITIONS - What are we asking your body to do within?
In this episode, we're exploring the fourth word in my SPACE Framework™: Conditions.
When we talk about preparing for birth, much of the focus is placed on what you can do. You can learn about the physiology of labour, understand what your body is doing, practise breathing and relaxation, think about movement, explore your options and prepare yourself for the experience ahead.
But your body doesn't experience labour in isolation from everything around you. It is doing the wo...
Episode 185 - Advocacy
ADVOCACY - Who protects your space when you can't? And why does that matter?
In this episode, we're exploring the third word in my SPACE Framework™: Advocacy.
When we think about advocacy in birth, it can be easy to imagine confrontation, challenging every decision or having a birth partner who is prepared to fight the maternity system. But advocacy is about something much more important than being the loudest person in the room.
It is about protecting your autonomy.
During labour, there may come a point when yo...
Episode 184 - Privacy
PRIVACY: What Do You Need to Stop Feeling Observed?
What does privacy actually mean during labour?
In this episode, we move to the second word in the SPACE Framework™: Privacy.
Privacy isn't simply about being alone or having a closed door. A woman can have people she trusts around her and still feel completely private, while being physically alone doesn't necessarily mean she feels unobserved or protected from interruption.
During labour, a woman may gradually become less socially aware and more absorbed in what is happening within he...
Episode 183 - Safety
SAFETY: What Does Safety Actually Feel Like?
What do we really mean when we talk about safety in birth?
In this episode, I introduce the first word in the SPACE Framework™: Safety.
When we talk about safe birth, we often think about physical or clinical safety, and of course, the wellbeing of both mother and baby matters enormously. But safety is not only about clinical observations, equipment or the ability to respond if something changes.
A woman is also experiencing birth through her nervous system.
Sh...
Episode 182 - Curiosity
CURIOSITY: What Don't You Know Yet?
How do we prepare for birth when we don't yet know what we don't know?
In the first episode of Season 7, I'm exploring the word Curiosity and why I believe it may be one of the most valuable things you can bring into pregnancy and birth.
We are surrounded by information, advice, opinions, recommendations and stories, but being given information isn't always the same as understanding it. Curiosity allows us to look a little deeper, ask better questions and remain open to learning something new, even when...
Episode 181 - Words
Words
Welcome to Season 7 of The Ultimate Birth Partner Podcast.
This season is a little different.
Rather than focusing on one particular aspect of pregnancy, labour or birth in each episode, I’m taking a single word and using it as the starting point for a much bigger conversation.
The words I’ve chosen have come from decades of experience as a doula and antenatal educator, as well as from everything I have learned from the women, partners and families I have supported over the years.
Because some...
Episode 180 - It’s Not Just About the Destination – It’s About the Journey as Well
In this final episode of the season, I’m bringing together many of the themes we’ve explored over recent weeks and looking at one central idea: birth is not just about the destination — it’s about the journey as well.
So often, birth conversations are reduced to outcomes. Was the baby healthy? Did everything go okay? Was everyone safe? And while those things absolutely matter, they are not the full story.
In this episode, I explore what gets lost when birth is viewed only as a medical event. When the focus stays solely on monitori...
Episode 179 - The Truth About Breathing and Relaxation for Birth
In this episode, I take a deeper look at breathing and relaxation in preparation for labour — going beyond the simple advice to “just breathe” or “try to relax.” These are not magic fixes, but skills that reflect how your nervous system responds to stress, intensity, and the sensations of labour.
I talk about how the modern world keeps our bodies in a constant state of alert. Our bodies are always scanning for threat, and for many of us, a slight state of tension has become normal. This affects how we experience birth, because labour is a deeply mammalian...
Episode 178 - The Survival Response in Birth: Fawning and Cognitive Dissonance Explained
Why do so many women leave their birth experience wondering, “Why did I agree to that?”
In this episode, we explore a rarely discussed but deeply important aspect of childbirth — the body’s survival response, and how it can shape decision-making in labour in ways we don’t always recognise at the time.
Through a powerful listener story, this conversation gently unpacks what can happen when a woman is in a highly vulnerable, hormonally driven state, and how her nervous system may respond to pressure, authority, or perceived threat. We explore the concept of fawning
Episode 177 - Breastfeeding - Essential information for supporting a new parent with Maddie McMahon (Replay)
I’m taking a little break over the Easter holidays, but I didn’t want you to miss this episode, because it’s the final one in our postpartum series, part of this season on The Reality of Birth.
Across this series, we’ve explored what life is really like after birth—the joys, the challenges, the surprises, and all the moments in between. We’ve talked about sleep, emotional shifts, body changes, identity, and the real realities of those first few weeks with a newborn.
For this final episode, I’m revisiting a conversation...
Episode 176 - Becoming a Mother: Understanding Matrescence
Motherhood is more than a role—it’s a profound transformation. In this episode, I explore matrescence, the process of becoming a mother, and what it really means for your body, your relationships, and your sense of self.
I talk openly about reconnecting with your postpartum body, navigating intimacy and sex after birth, and adjusting to the new dynamics in your relationship. I share reflections on shifting priorities, managing guilt when taking time for yourself, and learning to let go of control while trusting others with your baby. I also explore the delicate and personal decisions around havi...
Episode 175 - Welcoming a New Baby – Preparing Your Family and Supporting Your Older Child
Bringing a new baby into your family is often described as a joyful and exciting time — but the reality is far more complex.
In this episode, I share an honest, real-world look at what it’s like to welcome a newborn into your home and your family, whether this is your first baby or you already have children.
We explore the emotional, physical, and practical realities of the early weeks — from sleep deprivation and feeding challenges to the intense sense of responsibility and constant worry that many parents experience.
I also share...
Episode 174 - The Fourth Trimester and Postpartum Planning
Since last week’s episode was released, I’ve received so many messages from listeners asking for more information about the fourth trimester and postpartum planning that I decided to record this extra episode to explore these topics in more depth.
The weeks after birth are often overlooked in birth preparation, yet they represent one of the most significant transitions for both mother and baby. In this episode, I talk about the biological realities of the fourth trimester, why newborn behaviour often makes perfect sense when we understand human development, and why planning for postpartum can make such...
Episode 173 - Specialist Midwife Lara - The Postpartum Period
In this episode, I’m joined by specialist postpartum midwife Lara for a thoughtful and honest conversation about what really happens after birth.
Recorded last summer, this discussion explores the often-overlooked realities of the postpartum period — not just physically, but emotionally, relationally and hormonally.
Together, we unpack:
Why the fourth trimester deserves as much preparation as labour itselfThe importance of debriefing your birth experienceThe embodied transition women move through after birthThe evolving role of the birth partner once the baby has arrivedWhy personalised, relational postpartum care mattersHow intentional postpartum planning can reduce tension and misu...Episode 172 - Relationship Circles – Planning Postpartum Support
Preparing for birth is only half the story. What happens in the weeks after your baby arrives can be just as challenging — and often more overwhelming than labour itself. That’s why I teach the Relationship Circle in my antenatal classes, a practical way to map your support network, set boundaries, and clarify who does what.
At the heart of the circle is Mother + Partner + Baby, because postpartum is a shared journey. Around that centre, the circles show both parents’ families and friends, making it easy to see who will help, who needs boundaries, and where...
Episode 171 - Safety: Why Continuity of Carer Changes Everything
Last week I talked about hypervigilance — what happens when a woman’s nervous system doesn’t feel safe in pregnancy, birth or postpartum.
This week, I explore one of the most evidence-based ways to reduce it: continuity of carer.
Continuity is not just about seeing the same service. It’s about being known. It’s about relationship. And decades of research show that when women receive continuity of midwifery care, outcomes improve across the board — including lower rates of preterm birth, fewer interventions, and better mental health outcomes.
But this conversation goes beyond statistics.<...
Episode 170 - Hyper‑Vigilance in Pregnancy, Birth & Postpartum
Hyper-vigilance is common in pregnancy, birth, and the postpartum period — but rarely named. In this episode, we explore what hyper-vigilance really is, why so many women experience it, and how it impacts mothers, partners, and babies.
We talk about nervous system safety, surveillance culture in maternity care, why reassurance often doesn’t help, and what truly supports healing — without pathologising women or telling them to 'just relax'.
This episode is for:
Pregnant women who feel unable to switch offWomen reflecting on births that looked fine but felt exhaustingMothers who can’t rest even when their ba...Episode 169 - Your Questions Answered: Birth, Babies & Early Parenthood Q&A
This episode is a little different!
I decided to answer a batch of listener questions that were shorter than the single-question episodes, and they fit perfectly with what’s coming up in the coming weeks.
As I went through them, I noticed quite a few shared a common theme, and it reminded me just how important it is to dedicate some episodes specifically to postpartum experiences, because there is so much to unpack in those first days, weeks and months.
I hope you enjoy this Q&A — it’s honest, practical, and grounded in real e...
Episode 168 - Beyond the Headlines: Freebirth, Preparation, and Choice — Fenja’s Story
In this episode, I’m joined by Fenja, who shares her freebirth story with honesty, depth, and clarity.
At a time when freebirth is being widely discussed — and often misunderstood — Fenja’s experience offers a grounded and much-needed perspective on what informed, conscious birth preparation can look like.
Fenja speaks openly about the extensive work she did during pregnancy: building physiological understanding, engaging in emotional and mental preparation, and developing a deep trust in her body and decision-making. Her choices were not made lightly. They were rooted in knowledge, reflection, and personal...
Episode 167 - Self-Gaslighting – When You Silence Your Own Instincts
In this episode, I am exploring the hidden and often overlooked phenomenon of self-gaslighting—when women dismiss their own instincts, feelings, or inner knowing. Self-gaslighting can show up during pregnancy, birth, and early motherhood, quietly eroding confidence and disconnecting women from their power.
I will break down:
What self-gaslighting is and how to recognise itWhere it comes from and why it’s so commonHow it shows up in pregnancy, birth, and postpartumThe emotional and physical costs of silencing yourselfPractical tools to unlearn self-gaslighting and reclaim your confidenceHow birth partners can support women to trust them...Episode 166 - The Ten Commandments of Birth: Why Inner Work Matters More Than Technique
So much of birth preparation focuses on what to do — how to breathe, how to move, how to plan.
But none of that works if a woman doesn’t trust herself.
In this episode, I’m sharing my Ten Commandments of Birth and explaining why I believe inner work is the missing piece in so much birth preparation. I talk honestly about what I’ve seen shift in women since creating Discover Your North Star, and why no breathing technique can undo years of self-doubt.
This episode is about preparation that goes dee...
Episode 165 - The Baby I Dreamed Of — And the Feelings I Didn’t Expect
In this final episode of the year, I’m talking about something I see all the time in my work — but something women rarely feel able to admit out loud: that the desperate longing for a baby doesn’t always match how they feel once they are actually here.
After more than two decades supporting women through pregnancy, birth, and those early vulnerable weeks, I’ve heard this story in so many different forms. Today, I’m sharing the experience of a mum I met at a recent coffee morning — Emma — who gave me permission to talk about her jour...
Episode 164 - Beyond the BRAIN Acronym – Rethinking Communication in the Birth Room
In this episode, we dive deep into communication in the birth room — going beyond the widely taught BRAIN acronym. While BRAIN (Benefits, Risks, Alternatives, Intuition, Nothing) can be a helpful tool, waiting until labour to rely on it often means you’ve already been pulled into reactive decision-making. We discuss how true advocacy, sovereignty, and physiological birth are protected long before labour begins, through preparation, clear values, and embodied support.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
Why relying on BRAIN mid-labour can disrupt physiological birth.The limitations of checklists and reactive decision-making.How to pre...Episode 163 - Why Early Labour Matters More Than You Think with Jen Culley
In this episode, I sit down with my friend and fellow birth worker Jen Culley to talk about the reality that early labour is often overlooked in modern birth preparation.
We explore how early labour is represented on social media and how these portrayals can unintentionally shape women’s expectations in unhelpful ways. While short clips and reels can beautifully capture the moment a baby is born, they rarely show the quiet, powerful, and often lengthy process that leads up to it. Early labour can take hours — sometimes days — and it’s during this tim...
Episode 162 - Is My Lived Experience More Important Than Your Future One?
In this episode, I explore one of the most delicate and important questions in birth work: Is my lived experience more important than your future one?
So many women feel torn between wanting to share their birth story — whether it was empowering, challenging, or deeply traumatic — and wanting to protect others from fear or unrealistic expectations. But how do we find the balance? How do we share truthfully without limiting what’s possible for someone else?
This conversation unpacks the tension between past experience and future potential. Together, we look at how to reflect on your o...
Episode 161 - The Waiting Game – Why Patience in Late Pregnancy Matters More Than Ever
In this episode, I talk about one of the most emotionally testing times in pregnancy — the waiting game.
When your due date is approaching, or has come and gone, it can feel as though the world is on pause while everyone keeps asking, 'Have you had the baby yet?'
I explore what this waiting period can really feel like — the impatience, the frustration, and the mental tug of war that happens when your baby still isn’t ready to arrive.
I also talk about the pressure that can build when conversations about induc...
Episode 160 - Sliding Doors – When Chance Determines Your Antenatal Advice and Birth Outcome
Have you ever wondered why two women can walk into the same antenatal clinic and have completely different experiences? In this episode, I explore what I call the 'Sliding Doors' effect in maternity care — how the door you walk through, quite literally or metaphorically, can shape your confidence, choices, and ultimately your birth outcome.
I unpack how seemingly small differences in care — the tone of a conversation, the attentiveness of a practitioner, the questions asked — can either empower you or leave you questioning your instincts.
This episode is a deep dive into how chance encounters at ante...
Episode 159 - Kintsugi and Birth Healing – How Trauma Can Make You Stronger
In this episode of The Ultimate Birth Partner Podcast, I am exploring the Japanese art of kintsugi — repairing broken pottery with gold — as a powerful metaphor for healing after a difficult or traumatic birth.
Instead of hiding the cracks, kintsugi honours them, turning them into the most beautiful part of the story. And birth can be the same. Your previous experience, however painful, does not make you broken. It makes you wiser, clearer, and stronger as you prepare for your next birth.
Through real stories of women she has supported, Sallyann shares how birth trauma can...
Episode 158 - The Four Tendencies in Birth: How Knowing Yourself Shapes Your Experience
The Four Tendencies in Birth: How Knowing Yourself Shapes Your Experience
In this episode of The Ultimate Birth Partner Podcast, I explore how Gretchen Rubin’s Four Tendencies framework can help women, partners, and birth professionals better understand how we respond to expectations — and why that matters so much in pregnancy and birth.
I share real-life examples of how each Tendency (Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, Rebel) might prepare for birth, how they may respond in the moment, and the unique challenges or strengths they bring into the birth room.
You’ll hea...
Episode 157 - Beyond the Headlines: Paracetamol in Pregnancy and Early Childhood
In this episode, I’m speaking openly about the ongoing debate around paracetamol (Tylenol), especially its use during pregnancy and in young children.
Headlines and politics — including Donald Trump jumping on a microphone with bold claims — have left many people either dismissing concerns outright or panicking. But if we throw the baby out with the bathwater, we risk missing the real science that deserves our attention.
I explore:
How paracetamol impacts the body: glutathione depletion, mitochondrial stress, DNA and immune function.The role of genetics (like MTHFR variants) in how...Episode 156 - The Wobble – How to Feel Supported in Labour if You Say 'I Can’t Do This Anymore'
Every birth has a moment that feels impossible. For many women, it comes right before the pushing stage — a sudden rush of overwhelm, doubt, or fear. This is what I call 'The Wobble'.
In this episode of The Ultimate Birth Partner Podcast, I’m diving deep into this essential topic. You’ll learn:
What the Wobble really is — why it happens, when it usually shows up, and how to recognise itWhy it’s not a crisis, but a turning point in labourWhat partners can do in the moment...Episode 155 - Are Doulas Guardians or Gatekeepers?
In light of the recent NMC and Doula UK video, I decided to record this special episode as I felt it relates this this season's theme: The Reality of Birth.
The video tried to define the role of a doula but missed the mark — suggesting we simply reinforce what midwives advise. That’s not the truth.
You can watch it here - https://youtu.be/bXqIBMTZHDs
Many care providers still remain confused about the role of a doula — despite us providing care for 25 years or more in some cases. But that confusion isn’t what m...
Episode 154 - Expectations vs. Reality — The Untold Elements of Poppy’s 2nd Birth Story
In this episode of The Ultimate Birth Partner Podcast, I’m joined by Poppy Child from Pop That Mumma, who shares parts of her second birth story that she has never spoken about publicly before.
Poppy went into her pregnancy journey believing that a pain-free birth was achievable, but the reality unfolded in ways she hadn’t expected. In this conversation, she opens up about the untold elements of her experience, offering an honest reflection on how expectations can differ from reality in birth.
We explore:
The vision of a pain-free birth and how it c...Episode - 153 - The Romanticism of Birth – Beyond the Picture-Perfect Vision
Season Six - The Reality of Birth Today
Welcome to a brand-new series of The Ultimate Birth Partner Podcast
In this first episode, I am exploring the romanticised idea of birth that we can sometimes hold.
I share
Where the romantic image of birth comes fromWhy relying only on a partner can be overwhelmingHow the 'bubble' can burst in labour and postpartumPractical preparation tips for birth partnersA listener’s question on intimacy vs. supportReflection prompts to help you prepare realisticallyWhether you’re planning a freebirth, a homebirth, a midwife-led birth, or a...
Episode 152 - Dr Rachel Reed - Meconium Stained Amniotic Fluid: variation or complication?
It's the season finale, and I’m delighted to wrap up with a powerful and thought-provoking conversation featuring the incredible Dr Rachel Reed - midwife, educator, author, and advocate for physiological birth.
In this episode, we dive deep into the topic of Meconium-Stained Amniotic Fluid something that often triggers alarm bells during labour. But should it? Rachel helps us unpack the physiology, the myths, and the medical responses surrounding meconium in the waters.
This conversation is essential listening for anyone preparing for birth, especially those wanting to feel informed and empowered in situations wh...
Episode 151 - Amelia's Story - MLU Birth with High BMI and Gestational Diabetes
In this inspiring episode, I’m joined by Amelia, who shares her powerful birth stories - welcoming both of her daughters in a Midwife Led Unit, despite being labelled ‘high risk’ due to a high BMI and insulin-controlled gestational diabetes.
Amelia’s journey is a testament to what’s possible when a woman is supported to trust her instincts, advocate for herself, and remain at the centre of her care.
In our conversation, Amelia reflects on:
The challenges and judgements she faced due to her BMIHow she stayed informed and confident in her choicesBuilding a relation...Episode 150 - Why I Left the NHS - Midwife Insights with Rosemary
In this powerful episode, I’m joined by former NHS midwife Rosemary, who bravely opens up about her time working within the UK’s maternity system - and why she ultimately made the difficult decision to walk away.
With her knowledge and experience of women-centred care, Rosemary speaks candidly about the challenges she faced as a midwife, from rising pressures to the emotional toll of witnessing care that didn’t align with her values.
Rosemary shares what it means to support physiological birth within institutional constraints, and why leaving was the only way to stay true t...
Episode 149 - Postpartum Prolapse - And Why We Need to be Talking About It!
In this essential episode, I open up a conversation with Hayley Schoenberg and Dr Margo, where they explain, that far too many women are suffering from postpartum prolapse - in silence.
Despite how common it is, prolapse is rarely discussed during pregnancy, and even less so after birth. Yet it can have a profound physical and emotional impact on a woman's life. It's time to break the silence.
In this episode, we explore:
What postpartum prolapse actually isThe symptoms that are too often dismissed or normalisedWhy so many women feel shocked, ashamed, o...