The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations
This podcast focuses on surviving life after a suicide loss, an experience that can be devastating and leave you feeling lost as you try to pick up the pieces of your shattered heart. The host, Melissa Bottorff-Arey, lost her 21-year-old son, Alex, to suicide on August 7, 2016, and brings (& often shares) her insights from her personal journey. In each episode, Melissa engages in honest and challenging conversations with other survivors of loss, healers, and mental health experts. She also produces shorter solo episodes where she reflects on her own thoughts and experiences thus far. The podcast covers a wide range of r...
Getting Real About Grief ‘Coaching’; Why I Do This & Why I Do it Differently
Welcome today fellow griever. I appreciate you, I see you and thank you so much for listening and if you can, please ---Support the show
Today, I’m taking you behind the scenes — not just of the podcast, but of why I do all of this.
Spoiler alert: it’s not about making six figures. Not even close to what it's about!
It started with a mic, a grieving heart, and the hope that I could create the kind of podcast I couldn’t find after losing my son Alex to suicide. And in many way...
New Ways to Heal Together; What’s New at The Leftover Pieces
Welcome today fellow griever. I appreciate you, I see you and thank you so much for listening and if you can, please ---Support the show
You may have seen soft mentions of some new things I’ve been building — maybe in your inbox or on social — and today I’m diving all the way in. If this is the first you’re hearing of it, then welcome — you’re right on time.
In this heart-led episode of Down the Rabbit Hole, I’m walking you through what’s new — and what’s next — here at The Leftover Pie...
Welcome to May 31; "We're All Mad Here" DAILY Mental Health Nugget
"Hello --It is May 31st and welcome to Wonderland Fellow Griever. — “You’ve just stepped Down the Rabbit Hole — where mental health meets madness after loss. This is your daily dose of truth, grief, and yes, just the right bit of madness.”
WEEK 5: The FINALE for may 2025 Daily Nuggets
Day 31: Today’s truth is: "You're still here. That matters." Idea: Completion, continuation, and gratitude. Day 31. We made it. This is something! THANK YOU
You've shown up—for 31 days—inside your grief, your heart, and your truth...
Welcome to May 30; "We're All Mad Here" DAILY Mental Health Nugget
"Hello --It is May 30th and welcome to Wonderland Fellow Griever. — “You’ve just stepped Down the Rabbit Hole — where mental health meets madness after loss. This is your daily dose of truth, grief, and yes, just the right bit of madness.”
WEEK 5: The 3 Day Wrap -up for the Month
Day 30: Today’s truth is: "Life, what is it but a dream?" Idea: The surreal nature of life after loss.
Grief makes reality feel hazy — like you're walking through someone else's life. Or maybe the world is continuing witho...
Welcome to May 29; "We're All Mad Here" DAILY Mental Health Nugget
"Hello --It is May 29th and welcome to Wonderland Fellow Griever. — “You’ve just stepped Down the Rabbit Hole — where mental health meets madness after loss. This is your daily dose of truth, grief, and yes, just the right bit of madness.”
WEEK 5: The 3 Day Wrap -up for the Month
Day 29: Today’s truth is: (Finale echo) "I can't go back to yesterday..." Idea: Reinforcing transformation.
We began this month with this truth and return to it now — because some truths don’t get easier, only more famili...
Welcome to May 28; "We're All Mad Here" DAILY Mental Health Nugget
"Hello --It is May 28th and welcome to Wonderland Fellow Griever. — “You’ve just stepped Down the Rabbit Hole — where mental health meets madness after loss. This is your daily dose of truth, grief, and yes, just the right bit of madness.”
WEEK 4: Resilience & Reclamation
Day 28: Today’s truth is: "Why did you come out here at all?" Idea: The isolation of grief.
There are days when grief makes you question your place in the world. You might feel like a shadow of yourself. Or like a misfit in ever...
Welcome to May 27; "We're All Mad Here" DAILY Mental Health Nugget
"Hello --It is May 27th and welcome to Wonderland Fellow Griever. — “You’ve just stepped Down the Rabbit Hole — where mental health meets madness after loss. This is your daily dose of truth, grief, and yes, just the right bit of madness.”
WEEK 4: Resilience & Reclamation
Day 27: Today’s truth is: "It sounds uncommon nonsense." Idea: Navigating unhelpful advice.
Grief comes with opinions — often terrible ones. "Everything happens for a reason." "They wouldn't want you to be sad." "At least you have other children."
Let's name that for what i...
Blackbird; A Mother's Reflection on Grief, Loss & Life After Suicide; Betsy Thibaut Stephenson
Welcome today fellow griever. I appreciate you, I see you and thank you so much for listening and if you can, please ---Support the show
Today, I release a recent conversation with Betsy Thibaut Stephenson to talk about her son Charlie who was a smart, witty, reserved, and was (silently) living with being 'unmotivated' & being depressed. Despite doing what seemed like all of the right things, Charlie, a rising senior in college, died by suicide in July of 2022 at only 21 years old. It was shocking and devastating -- and they are learning to live with...
Welcome to May 26; "We're All Mad Here" DAILY Mental Health Nugget
"Hello --It is May 26th and welcome to Wonderland Fellow Griever. — “You’ve just stepped Down the Rabbit Hole — where mental health meets madness after loss. This is your daily dose of truth, grief, and yes, just the right bit of madness.”
WEEK 4: Resilience & Reclamation
Day 26: Today's truth is: "I shall be punished... by being drowned in my own tears." Idea: Emotional overwhelm.
Have you ever felt like grief might consume you? If you let it in, would it pull you under for good?
You're not alone...
Welcome to May 25; "We're All Mad Here" DAILY Mental Health Nugget
"Hello --It is May 25th and welcome to Wonderland Fellow Griever. — “You’ve just stepped Down the Rabbit Hole — where mental health meets madness after loss. This is your daily dose of truth, grief, and yes, just the right bit of madness.”
WEEK 4: Resilience & Reclamation
Day 25: Today’s truth is: "Why is a raven like a writing desk?" Idea: Unanswerable questions.
This is one of those questions that has no answer. It's a shared experience, much like the ones we ask in grief: Why my loved one? Why then? Why...
Welcome to May 24; "We're All Mad Here" DAILY Mental Health Nugget
"Hello --It is May 24th and welcome to Wonderland Fellow Griever. — “You’ve just stepped Down the Rabbit Hole — where mental health meets madness after loss. This is your daily dose of truth, grief, and yes, just the right bit of madness.”
WEEK 4: Resilience & Reclamation
Day 24: Today’s truth is: "Then you shouldn't talk." Idea: The silence around grief.
Sometimes, we silence ourselves — afraid to be too heavy, sad, or too much. It's not easy to express these emotions; we all struggle with it. Other times, the world silences...
Welcome to May 23; "We're All Mad Here" DAILY Mental Health Nugget
"Hello --It is May 23rd and welcome to Wonderland Fellow Griever. — “You’ve just stepped Down the Rabbit Hole — where mental health meets madness after loss. This is your daily dose of truth, grief, and yes, just the right bit of madness.”
WEEK 3: Control & Surrender
Day 23: Today’s truth is: "Try again: draw a long breath..." Idea: Starting over.
Some days, you start over five times before noon. And that’s okay. Grief doesn’t care about linear progress — it just asks that you show up, in whatever form that m...
Welcome to May 22; "We're All Mad Here" DAILY Mental Health Nugget
"Hello --It is May 22nd and welcome to Wonderland Fellow Griever. — “You’ve just stepped Down the Rabbit Hole — where mental health meets madness after loss. This is your daily dose of truth, grief, and yes, just the right bit of madness.”
WEEK 4: Resilience & Reclamation
Day 22: Today’s truth is: "It's a poor sort of memory that only works backwards." Idea: Creating forward-looking memories.
Grief keeps us anchored in the past—the moments before, the final day, the last words. That's not wrong, but it can feel like we're tra...
Welcome to May 21; "We're All Mad Here" DAILY Mental Health Nugget
"Hello --It is May 21st and welcome to Wonderland Fellow Griever. — “You’ve just stepped Down the Rabbit Hole — where mental health meets madness after loss. This is your daily dose of truth, grief, and yes, just the right bit of madness.”
WEEK 3: Control & Surrender
Day 21: Today’s truth (revisited) is: "I can't go back to yesterday..." Idea: Accepting life as it is now.
Let's revisit this truth: You can't go back. And it's cruel — because back there is where your loved one still lived. The pain of this loss is...
Welcome to May 20; "We're All Mad Here" DAILY Mental Health Nugget
"Hello --It is May 20th and welcome to Wonderland Fellow Griever. — “You’ve just stepped Down the Rabbit Hole — where mental health meets madness after loss. This is your daily dose of truth, grief, and yes, just the right bit of madness.”
WEEK 3: Control & Surrender
Day 20: Today’s truth is: "Begin at the beginning... and go on till you come to the end." Idea: Getting unstuck.
Grief can make even the most straightforward steps feel like climbing a mountain. It's okay to feel lost. But remember, you're not alone; man...
Remembering Her Friend Coble; A Brave Voice on Grief, Growth & Mental Health
Support the show
Today I speak with Lauren Wood, a (super brave) third year Human Services student at Northeastern University in Boston, passionate about social justice, equal mental health access, and (naturally) suicide prevention. Lauren opens up about losing her dear friend Coble to suicide when she was just a senior in high school—an event that shattered her world and changed the trajectory of her life. Now, years later, she is leaning into the hard work of healing while actively building a future in advocacy and mental health support.
She shares "I am i...
Welcome to May 19; "We're All Mad Here" DAILY Mental Health Nugget
"Hello --It is May 19th, and welcome to Wonderland Fellow Griever. — "You've just stepped Down the Rabbit Hole — where mental health meets madness after loss. This is your daily dose of truth, grief, and yes, just the right bit of madness."
WEEK 3: Control & Surrender
Day 19: Today's truth is: "Everything's got a moral...if only you can find it." Idea: Today, we're exploring the powerful concept of finding meaning in the midst of loss.
People love to wrap loss in platitudes. "Everything happens for a reason." "They're in a bette...
Welcome to May 18; "We're All Mad Here" DAILY Mental Health Nugget
"Hello --It is May 18th and welcome to Wonderland Fellow Griever. — “You’ve just stepped Down the Rabbit Hole — where mental health meets madness after loss. This is your daily dose of truth, grief, and yes, just the right bit of madness.”
WEEK 3: Control & Surrender
Day 18: Today’s truth is: "If everybody minded their own business..." Idea: Setting boundaries.
Oh, the unsolicited advice grievers get can be overwhelming. People have their opinions on how you should grieve or when to move on, and it can all feel so draining...
Welcome to May 17; "We're All Mad Here" DAILY Mental Health Nugget
“Hello --It is May 17th and welcome to Wonderland Fellow Griever. — “You’ve just stepped Down the Rabbit Hole — where mental health meets madness after loss. Let’s get real, together. This is your daily dose of truth, grief, and yes, just the right bit of madness.”
WEEK 3: Control & Surrender
Day 17: Today’s truth is: "I can't go no lower... I'm on the floor, as it is." Idea: Hitting emotional rock bottom.
This is for you if you're here right now— on the floor emotionally, spiritually, or perhaps even physica...
Welcome to May 16; "We're All Mad Here" DAILY Mental Health Nugget
“Hello --It is May 16th and welcome to Wonderland Fellow Griever. — “You’ve just stepped Down the Rabbit Hole — where mental health meets madness after loss. Let’s get real, together. This is your daily dose of truth, grief, and yes, just the right bit of madness.”
WEEK 3: Control & Surrender
Day 16: Today’s truth is: "The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things..." Idea: Talking about the hard stuff.
We avoid talking about suicide. We avoid talking about grief. We avoid talking about mental health — esp...
Welcome to May 15; "We're All Mad Here" DAILY Mental Health Nugget
"Hello --It is May 15th and welcome to Wonderland Fellow Griever. — “You’ve just stepped Down the Rabbit Hole — where mental health meets madness after loss. This is your daily dose of truth, grief, and yes, just the right bit of madness.”
WEEK 3: Control & Surrender
Day 15: Today’s truth is: "Remember who you are" Idea: Reclaiming lost parts of self.
In grief, we lose not only our child, but sometimes ourselves. Our roles change. Our future plans shift. And suddenly we’re asking, “What’s left of me?”
But here’...
Welcome to May 14; "We're All Mad Here" DAILY Mental Health Nugget
“Hello --It is May 14th and welcome to Wonderland Fellow Griever. — “You’ve just stepped Down the Rabbit Hole — where mental health meets madness after loss. This is your daily dose of truth, grief, and yes, just the right bit of madness.”
WEEK 2: Madness & Acceptance
Day 14: Today’s truth is: "All the ways about here belong to me.” Idea: Taking back your voice.
There’s no one way to grieve. And yet the world loves to offer advice — move on, don’t be sad, get help, stay strong.
But this...
Welcome to May 13; "We're All Mad Here" DAILY Mental Health Nugget
“Hello --It is May 13th and welcome to Wonderland Fellow Griever. — “You’ve just stepped Down the Rabbit Hole — where mental health meets madness after loss. This is your daily dose of truth, grief, and yes, just the right bit of madness.”
WEEK 2: Madness & Acceptance
Day 13: Today’s truth is: "I'm not myself, you see." Idea: Identity disturbance.
These words hit deep, don’t they? Because when your child dies, the “you” who existed before — she fractures. The version that shows up now may feel hollow, uncertain, or unrecognizable.
And that’s okay. Y...
Welcome to May 12; "We're All Mad Here" DAILY Mental Health Nugget
“Hello --It is May 12th and welcome to Wonderland Fellow Griever. — “You’ve just stepped Down the Rabbit Hole — where mental health meets madness after loss. Let’s get real, together. This is your daily dose of truth, grief, and yes, just the right bit of madness.”
WEEK 2: Madness & Acceptance
Day 12: Today’s truth is: "Curiouser and curiouser!" Idea: Letting yourself explore emotions.
This isn’t just a cute phrase. It’s a lens — one that invites us to approach our emotions with curiosity instead of criticism.
What if, instead of...
Welcome to May 11; "We're All Mad Here" DAILY Mental Health Nugget
“Hello --It is May 11h and welcome to Wonderland Fellow Griever. — “You’ve just stepped Down the Rabbit Hole — where mental health meets madness after loss. Let’s get real, together. This is your daily dose of truth, grief, and yes, just the right bit of madness.”
WEEK 2: Madness & Acceptance
Day 11: Today’s truth is: “I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it.” Idea: Struggling with self-care.
If you’re anything like me, you know what might help: getting outside, texting a friend, taking a breath, eating...
Welcome to May 10; "We're All Mad Here" DAILY Mental Health Nugget
“Hello --It is May 10th and welcome to Wonderland Fellow Griever. — “You’ve just stepped Down the Rabbit Hole — where mental health meets madness after loss. Let’s get real, together. This is your daily dose of truth, grief, and yes, just the right bit of madness.”
WEEK 2: Madness & Acceptance
Day 10: Today’s truth is: “If you don’t know where you’re going, any road can take you there.” Idea: There is no one path in grief.
Grief doesn’t come with a map. And if someone tries to hand you...
Welcome to May 9; "We're All Mad Here" DAILY Mental Health Nugget
“Hello --It is May 9th and welcome to Wonderland Fellow Griever. — “You’ve just stepped Down the Rabbit Hole — where mental health meets madness after loss. Let’s get real, together. This is your daily dose of truth, grief, and yes, just the right bit of madness.”
WEEK 2: Madness & Acceptance
Day 9: Today’s truth is: "Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast." Idea: Rebuilding belief in hope.
After loss by suicide, hope can feel offensive. Or even dangerous. Like you’re betraying your grief by reac...
Welcome to May 8; "We're All Mad Here" DAILY Mental Health Nugget
“Hello --It is May 8th and welcome to Wonderland Fellow Griever. — “You’ve just stepped Down the Rabbit Hole — where mental health meets madness after loss. Let’s get real, together. This is your daily dose of truth, grief, and yes, just the right bit of madness.”
WEEK 2: Madness & Acceptance
Day 8: Today’s truth is: "We're all mad here" Idea: Grief is disorienting—but you’re not alone.
When we lose a child, we enter a parallel universe — one where love and pain are inseparable, and where ‘madness’ starts to feel li...
Welcome to May 7; "We're All Mad Here" DAILY Mental Health Nugget
“Hello --It is May 7th and welcome to Wonderland Fellow Griever. — “You’ve just stepped Down the Rabbit Hole — where mental health meets madness after loss. Let’s get real, together. This is your daily dose of truth, grief, and yes, just the right bit of madness.”
WEEK 1: I discuss Identity & Transformation
Day 7: Today’s truth is: "But I don't want to go among mad people." Idea: Feeling detached from the world.
The world feels absurd after loss. People complaining about trivial things. Celebrating holidays. Asking you when you’ll be "b...
Welcome to May 6; "We're All Mad Here" DAILY Mental Health Nugget
“Hello --It is May 6th and welcome to Wonderland Fellow Griever. — “You’ve just stepped Down the Rabbit Hole — where mental health meets madness after loss. Let’s get real, together. This is your daily dose of truth, grief, and yes, just the right bit of madness.”
WEEK 1: I discuss Identity & Transformation
Day 6: Today’s truth is: "A grin without a cat — the most curious thing!” ... Idea: Remnants of joy in sorrow.
Sometimes, joy appears when you least expect it. A smile sneaks out. A laugh erupts...
Welcome to May 5; "We're All Mad Here" DAILY Mental Health Nugget
“Hello --It is May 5th and welcome to Wonderland Fellow Griever. — “You’ve just stepped Down the Rabbit Hole — where mental health meets madness after loss. Let’s get real, together. This is your daily dose of truth, grief, and yes, just the right bit of madness.”
WEEK 1: I discuss Identity & Transformation
Day 5: Today’s truth is: "How puzzling all these changes are!" Idea: The disorientation of early grief.
Grief doesn’t just change our hearts — it changes our brains. Maybe you can’t concentrate. Maybe words slip away. Maybe everyt...
Welcome to May 4; "We're All Mad Here" DAILY Mental Health Nugget
“Hello --It is May 4th and welcome to Wonderland Fellow Griever. — “You’ve just stepped Down the Rabbit Hole — where mental health meets madness after loss. Let’s get real, together. This is your daily dose of truth, grief, and yes, just the right bit of madness.”
WEEK 1: I discuss Identity & Transformation
Day 4: Today’s truth is: "I can't explain myself, I'm afraid, Sir, because I'm not myself, you see." Idea: Losing your sense of self.
Some days, it’s hard to even recognize ourselves. The person in the mirror looks...
Welcome to May 3; "We're All Mad Here" DAILY Mental Health Nugget
“Hello --It is May 3rd and welcome to Wonderland Fellow Griever. — “You’ve just stepped Down the Rabbit Hole — where mental health meets madness after loss. Let’s get real, together. This is your daily dose of truth, grief, and yes, just the right bit of madness.”
WEEK 1: I discuss Identity & Transformation
Day 3: Today’s truth from Alice is: “I can’t go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.”
I want to say something bold: You will never be the same. That can sound terrifying. But...
Welcome to May 2; "We're All Mad Here" DAILY Mental Health Nugget
“Hello --It is May 2nd and welcome to Wonderland Fellow Griever. — “You’ve just stepped Down the Rabbit Hole — where mental health meets madness after loss. Let’s get real, together. This is your daily dose of truth, grief, and yes, just the right bit of madness.”
Welcome to Day 2. Our Quote today is is from Ch 5 of The Adventures of Alice in Wonderland: "I knew who I was this morning, but I've changed a few times since then."
If that doesn't scream grief, I don't know what does. One hour, we're numb. Th...
Welcome to May 1; "We're All Mad Here" DAILY Mental Health Nugget
Hello Fellow Griever— Welcome to this special Down the Rabbit Hole series I'm calling “Welcome to May – We’re All Mad Here.”
[P.S... Like this podcast? Support the show by clicking...thank you]
If you're new here, I’m Melissa, a suicide loss survivor and a bereaved mom myself. I’m also a grief coach, and the host of this podcast The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations podcast. And this month — this Mental Health Awareness Month — I’m doing something a little different.
Every. Si...
Hope Dealer Larry Carlat; Rob's Space in the Heart
Today I share a recent chat with Larry Carlat. He is a writer, author, a retired editor, a grief coach -- and the bereaved father of Rob, his son who died by suicide. This is life after suicide in a packed-full-of lived-experience-wisdom and hope-filled conversation.
One of the chapters in his book "A Space in the Heart" is called The Soul Knows When It's Time to Go...and you can listen to us discuss this, and synchronicities, and our kids being connected to other parents (deceased) kids, and hopelessness and hopefulness an...
Hope, Healing & Connection; Julie Halpert of Garrett’s Space
Today, in talking about life after suicide loss, I am releasing a recent chat with Julie Halpert - Garrett's mom, journalist, and co-founder of Garrett's Space. Tragically, Garrett died by suicide at 23 years old in 2017...He was incredibly bright, loved & talented. And Garrett struggled with his mental health on and off for years. These things came together as the inspiration for the work of Garrett's Space - a suicide prevention nonprofit.
They were about to 'break ground' at our recording on the physical facility near Ann Arbor, Michigan. This upcoming facility, along with the programs that Garrett's...
The ZTC Foundation; In Memory of a Brother, and a Son
Today I share my conversation with Blake & Lisa. They are Zach Carter's mom and oldest brother. Zach died by suicide in 2022.
The 3 of us talk about many things including, but not limited to, Zach's devotion to family, to his job and even to Crocs...yes, the cushy, bright colored charm-adorned shoes! We talk about his joys and his struggles and even his love for pizza! There is something in this one for everyone.
From Zach's brother:
“On June 22nd, 2022, my life was turned upside down. We lost my brother and best frie...
The Grief Seasons; Wintering & the Value in Hibernation
Today I tackle another precarious topic in life after suicide loss --remember, as always, take what serves you, and leave the rest.
In today's Down the Rabbit Hole, I discuss this topic of what I call the "Wintering" and Grief Seasons. It's not a long one, but something to think about!
Come with me today and let's explore grieving through all of the seasons, but today, we take on "Winter" - or looking ahead to "un-wintering", with all of its intricacies and nuances ...and the promise of Spr...
Dads Grief Matters; David James of The Peyton Heart Project
Today I release an impactful conversation that I had recently with Peyton James' dad - David. Peyton was an incredible young man who died by suicide in 2014 and while his dad will feel his absence for the rest of his life, he takes some comfort in spreading the ripple effects of Peyton's life with hope through the legacy foundation started in his sons' name - The Peyton Heart Project. You should ALL take a look and consider getting involved at the link below-- they make it super easy!!
Among o...
