The Leftover Pieces: Suicide Loss Conversations
Suicide loss changes everything. The Leftover Pieces® Podcast explores life after suicide through honest conversations with survivors, experts, and grieving parents learning to live forward after unimaginable loss. Parents, partners, siblings, and friends share what it means to keep living when the world has been forever changed.Hosted by Melissa Bottorff-Arey, whose 21-year-old son Alex died by suicide in 2016, the show blends intimate conversations with survivors, healers, and mental health professionals with short solo reflections you can actually use. Together we explore child loss, trauma and nervous-system care, anniversaries and seasons, stigma, faith and meaning, legacy, and the everyday practices t...
No Speeches, No Platitudes: What to Say After Suicide Loss with Shelby Forsythia
Words matter.
After suicide loss, the things people say—or do not say—can either soften the loneliness or deepen the pain. Grievers are often met with platitudes, awkward silence, spiritual bypassing, invasive questions, or comments that unintentionally place blame where love and compassion are needed most.
In this episode of The Leftover Pieces: Suicide Loss Conversations, Melissa welcomes Shelby Forsythia back to the podcast for a full-circle conversation about grief, language, and what it really means to show up for someone who is grieving. Wh...
Grief in Everyday Life: When Child Loss Shows Up in Ordinary Moments
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Long-term grief after child loss does not only show up on birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, or the obviously hard days. Sometimes grief appears in the middle of ordinary life — in a song, a smell, a number, a place, a memory, a show, a laugh, or a moment no one else would understand.
In this episode of Down the Rabbit Hole, Melissa reflects on how child loss continues to live beside us in everyday moments. Not always as a breakdown. Sometimes as memory...
When You Don’t Trust Yourself Anymore: Guilt and Motherhood After Child Loss
After child loss by suicide, many grieving mothers do not only miss their child — they also stop trusting themselves.
In this episode of Down the Rabbit Hole, Melissa explores one of the most under-talked-about parts of long-term grief after the loss of a child by suicide: the collapse of self-trust.
This is not only about early grief guilt. This episode looks at what can happen later, when guilt becomes woven into identity, motherhood, self-worth, and the way a grieving mother sees herself.
In this episode, Melissa ta...
Legacy After Child Loss by Suicide: What Alex Taught Me About Carrying Love Forward
After child loss by suicide, legacy can become a bridge from survival into connection, meaning, and carrying love forward.
In this episode of Down the Rabbit Hole, Melissa reads her chapter from Because They Lived: Memories & Stories of Amazing Kids Lost to Suicide - As Told by the Moms They Left Behind --Volume 7, The chapter is titled “The Seventh Thread: What Alex Taught Me About Legacy.”
This episode is part reflection, part chapter reading, and part invitation to think differently about legacy after loss. What bega...
I Survived, But I Don’t Know Who I Am: Identity After the Loss of a Child by Suicide
What happens when you survive the earliest years of grief, but no longer recognize yourself?
In this episode of Down the Rabbit Hole, Melissa explores the identity crisis many grieving mothers face after the loss of a child by suicide — especially once the earliest survival years begin to shift and the deeper “now what?” questions rise.
This episode explores:
why survival takes so much emotional, physical, and nervous system energywhy identity may not be accessible in early griefthe painful realization that the old life and old self do not simply return...Grief on Screen: What TV and Movies Reveal About Child Loss and Long-Term Grief
🎙 Leave me a message: Share a question, your story, or your person’s name for a future episode → theleftoverpieces.com/voicemail
Email me at: melissa@theleftoverpieces.com
Sometimes fictional grief stories give us just enough distance to see our own grief more clearly. It can hold up a mirror of sorts.
In this episode of Down the Rabbit Hole, Melissa reflects on several recent shows and films that portray different layers of grief, loss, family systems, unanswered questions, and what it means to live...
Identifying a Potential New Risk Factor for Youth Suicide | A Conversation with Paul D. Tieger
In this brief but so important Bonus "Mini-sode", Melissa sits down with internationally recognized personality expert and author Paul D. Tieger to discuss groundbreaking new research exploring a possible connection between inborn personality type and increased suicide risk in young people.
Take the Survey: CLICK HERE TO TAKE SURVEY
This first-of-its-kind study is seeking participation specifically from parents who have lost a child to suicide. The goal is to better understand whether certain personality patterns may correlate with increased vulnerability — information that could help shape future suicide prevention efforts, ed...
20 Years After Suicide Loss: Tracy Oeser on Grief, Healing & Survival to Service
In this deeply honest conversation about suicide loss and long-term grief, Melissa sits down with Tracy Oeser, MSPsy — suicide loss survivor, grief educator, bereavement coach, and founder of Journey Thru Grief.
Nearly 20 years after the suicide loss of her daughter Chelsie, Tracy shares the reality of grieving a child to suicide, what healing actually looks like over time, and how survivors can learn to carry grief while rebuilding life after devastating loss.
Together, Melissa and Tracy talk about:
• The reality of long-term suicide grief
• What changes — and what doe...
Survival, Hope, Healing… Then What?: Why Grief Changes Years After Child Loss by Suicide
What (actually) happens after survival?
In this episode of Down the Rabbit Hole, Melissa speaks honestly about the part of grief few people prepare grieving mothers for — the “now what?” space that often emerges years after child loss and suicide loss.
After the shock fades, the anniversaries pass, and the world seems to move forward, many mothers quietly find themselves facing something deeper:
identity loss,
self-trust collapse,
nervous system exhaustion,
and the complicated reality of learning how to live with grief long term.
This episod...
Mother’s Day After Child Loss: If I’m Telling the Truth
Mother’s Day after child loss can feel impossibly complicated. In this episode of Down the Rabbit Hole, Melissa speaks honestly about the layered reality of motherhood after suicide loss—the grief, the love, changing family dynamics, and the truth that this day never feels the same again.
💜 In this episode:
Why Mother’s Day changes forever after child loss
The duality of gratitude and grief
How later grief lands differently than the early years
Navigating complicated family relationships after loss
Giving yourself permission to move through the day gently
Why you are stil...
Do We Ever Stop Grieving?: Life After Suicide Loss and the Truth No One Tells You
Do we ever stop grieving after losing a child to suicide?
In this episode, we go 'down the rabbit hole' to explore the reality of long-term grief after suicide loss and what happens after the initial survival years.
Many grieving mothers find themselves asking “what now?” after the first few years, when support fades but the grief remains. This episode introduces a new way of understanding grief—not as something to overcome, but something we learn to live with as we rebuild our identity, our life, and our sense of meaning after lo...
When the Mind Breaks: A Mother, A Doctor, and the Reality of Psychosis
In this episode, I’m joined by Colleen Kraft—a pediatrician of 36 years and a mother of three—who shares the story of her son Tim, who died by suicide in February of 2022 at the age of 31.
Tim’s journey included late-onset schizophrenia, beginning with early psychosis in his late twenties. Together, we explore what it looks like to love someone through serious mental illness, the challenges families face within the mental health system, and the difficult reality of navigating care when answers are limited.
Colleen brings both her medical insight and her live...
Year Ten of Grief: A Quiet Return and the Bridges We Build
A Quiet Return: Ten Years of Grief and the Bridges We Build
After an unexpected, unplanned two-month pause, Melissa returns to The Leftover Pieces Podcast with a quiet and honest reflection on what it means to reach the ten-year mark after losing her son Alex to suicide.
So, as she says, this wasn’t a planned break. But as the calendar turned toward a full decade of living without her child, something in Melissa needed to slow down, reflect, and listen more closely to...
Still Here: A New Year’s Eve Reflection
A daily December series offering tender, truthful support for surviving the holidays after suicide loss — with grief, grace, & gentle company.
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This is December 31 — Welcome, Fellow Griever
New Year’s Eve can be heavy for grievers — a reminder that time keeps moving, even when your heart resists.
Today’s I offer a quiet companionship with a longer reflection & an original New Year’s Eve poem, honoring survival and the love you carry forward as a year close...
Journaling as a Lifeline After Suicide Loss: Reflection, Healing, and Support
In this episode of The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations, I’m joined by Sean Dadashi to explore how journaling can support healing after suicide loss. We talk about why journaling often becomes a lifeline for grievers, how reflective practices help after traumatic loss, and why having accessible tools for processing grief matters — especially in the aftermath of a death by suicide.
(P.S... I use and love this app!)
Sean shares his own lived experience with depression and suicidal thoughts as a teenager, and how journaling helped him survi...
Looking Back Without Judgment: Allowing Space and Grace
A daily December series offering tender, truthful support for surviving the holidays after suicide loss — with grief, grace, and gentle company.
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This is December 29 — Welcome, Fellow Griever
Honoring Survival — A Daily Journal Prompt:
“What did it take for me to make it through this year?”
Today’s Reflection
As the year winds down, today’s episode offers a compassionate way to look back — without judgment, comparison, or pres...
Sunday Softening: Letting the Season Settle
A daily December series offering tender, truthful support for surviving the holidays after suicide loss — with grief, grace, and gentle company.
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This is December 28 — Welcome, Fellow Griever
Sunday Softening — A Daily Journal Prompt:
“What would it feel like to soften my expectations of myself today?”
Today’s Reflection
As the holidays fade and the year nears its end, today’s episode offers permission to slow down and let the...
The Quiet Weekend: Letting Stillness Be Enough
A daily December series offering tender, truthful support for surviving the holidays after suicide loss — with grief, grace, and gentle company.
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This is December 27 — Welcome, Fellow Griever
Letting Stillness Be Enough — A Daily Journal Prompt:
“What might become possible if I allow this weekend to be slower than usual?”
Today’s Reflection
The space between Christmas and the new year can feel disorienting for grievers. Today’s episode...
After the Day: When the Body Finally Exhales
A daily December series offering tender, truthful support for surviving the holidays after suicide loss — with grief, grace, and gentle company.
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This is December 26 — Welcome, Fellow Griever
After the Exhale — A Daily Journal Prompt:
“What does my body need today as the intensity of the season begins to ease?”
Today’s Reflection
After the holidays, many grievers experience an emotional and physical drop. Today’s episode offers co...
Christmas Day: Letting the Day Be What It Is
A daily December series offering tender, truthful support for surviving the holidays after suicide loss — with grief, grace, and gentle company.
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This is December 25 — Welcome, Fellow Griever
Letting the Day Be — A Daily Journal Prompt:
“What is today actually like for me — not what it’s supposed to be?”
Today’s Reflection
Christmas Day can hold love, grief, memory, and exhaustion all at once. Today’s reflection offers p...
And the House Held Its Breath:’Twas a Christmas Eve Rebuilding
A daily December series offering tender, truthful support for surviving the holidays after suicide loss — with grief, grace, and gentle company.
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This is December 24 — Welcome, Fellow Griever
For Christmas Eve, today’s Daily Nugget is a little different.
Instead of a longer reflection, Melissa shares a grief-tender reimagining of a familiar holiday reading — written to hold memory, absence, love, and quiet endurance.
And the House Held Its Breath- ’Twas a Christmas E...
The Night Before the Big Days: Letting Anticipation Be What It Is
A daily December series offering tender, truthful support for surviving the holidays after suicide loss — with grief, grace, and gentle company.
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This is December 23 — Welcome, Fellow Griever
The days leading up to the holidays can feel heavier than the days themselves. Anticipation, memory, and nervous-system overload often show up before anything actually happens.
Today’s Daily Nugget offers gentle permission to pause — to stop pre-handling what’s coming, and to let this moment be eno...
A New Week Begins: Letting Meaning Find You in the Quiet
A daily December series offering tender, truthful support for surviving the holidays after suicide loss — with grief, grace, and gentle company.
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This is December 22 — Welcome, Fellow Griever
ALSO....IF YOU ARE A MOM --Please know I have added an "extra" support group meeting tonight at 8PM eastern (see the Lighthouse Community)-- because this time of year, more than ever, we need extra support!
Letting Meaning Find You — A...
The Eve of a Holiday Week: Holding Space for What’s Coming, Without Rushing Yourself
A daily December series offering tender, truthful support for surviving the holidays after suicide loss — with grief, grace, and gentle company.
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This is December 21 — Welcome, Fellow Griever
Holding Space for What’s Coming — A Daily Journal Prompt:
“What is one gentle thing I can offer myself today as I move toward the week ahead?”
Today’s Reflection
Today’s episode honors the emotional complexity of approaching a ho...
A Saturday to Breathe: Finding Space Amid the Noise of the Season
A daily December series offering tender, truthful support for surviving the holidays after suicide loss — with grief, grace, and gentle company.
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This is December 20 — Welcome, Fellow Griever
A Saturday to Breathe — A Daily Journal Prompt:
“What space — emotional or physical — can I offer myself today, and why does it matter?”
Today’s Reflection
Today’s episode acknowledges the unique emotional landscape of a December Saturday. You're invi...
Surviving Early Suicide Loss: Honoring Austin’s Legacy Through Art, Horses, and Advocacy
In this episode of The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations, I’m joined by Jacquelyn Dickey, a mother navigating early suicide loss after the death of her son, Austin, who died on April 4, 2025, at the age of 30. Austin left behind a loving family — his mom, dad, younger sister Victoria, girlfriend Rachel, and his beloved dog Luna — as well as an extraordinary body of photographic work that continues to speak to his creativity and spirit.
Follow The Empty Chair Movement HERE
Jacquelyn’s journey through grief has been uniquely courageous. Within w...
The Courage to Stay Soft: Connection Without Performance
A daily December series offering tender, truthful support for surviving the holidays after suicide loss — with grief, grace, and gentle company.
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This is December 19 — Welcome, Fellow Griever
The Courage to Stay Soft — A Daily Journal Prompt:
“What would softness look like for me today — and what truth does that softness protect?”
Today’s Reflection
Today’s episode honors the courage it takes to stay soft in a season th...
In the Middle of the Month, In the Middle of Your Grief: A Pause to Notice Yourself
A daily December series offering tender, truthful support for surviving the holidays after suicide loss — with grief, grace, and gentle company.
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This is December 18 — Welcome, Fellow Griever
A Pause to Notice Yourself — A Daily Journal Prompt:
“What do I notice about myself today — emotionally, physically, spiritually — without judgment?”
Today’s Reflection
Today’s episode marks the midpoint of December with an invitation to slow down and notice your...
Let Yourself Be Met: Receiving Care Without Shrinking Yourself
A daily December series offering tender, truthful support for surviving the holidays after suicide loss — with grief, grace, and gentle company.
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This is December 17 — Welcome, Fellow Griever
Let Yourself Be Met — A Daily Journal Prompt:
“What would it look like to let myself receive care in one small way today?”
Today’s Reflection
Today’s episode explores the courage and complexity of receiving care while grieving. Y...
The Company You Keep: Letting Connection Meet You Where You Are
A daily December series offering tender, truthful support for surviving the holidays after suicide loss — with grief, grace, and gentle company.
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This is December 16 — Welcome, Fellow Griever
The Company You Keep — A Daily Journal Prompt: “What kind of connection feels possible for me today — with others, or with myself?”
Today’s Reflection
Today’s episode continues Week Three with a reflection on connection in grief — not forced socializing or...
Carrying What Matters Forward: Preparing Your Heart for the Week Ahead
A daily December series offering tender, truthful support for surviving the holidays after suicide loss — with grief, grace, and gentle company.
Week 3 Begins: “This past week, we’ve explored boundaries as acts of care — the small ways we protect our energy, honor our capacity, and stay close to what feels true. This week, we’re exploring connection — the kind that comes from truth, tenderness, and compassion. Not forced connection. Not holiday performance. But the real, humankind that meets you exactly where you are.”
Get THE Leftover Pieces APP & don't miss anything!<...
A Sunday for Softening: Let the Day Be Gentle on Your Spirit
A daily December series offering tender, truthful support for surviving the holidays after suicide loss — with grief, grace, and gentle company.
Get THE Leftover Pieces APP & don't miss anything!
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This is December 14 — Welcome, Fellow Griever
Journal Prompt
What could it look like to let today be softer on my spirit — in one small, honest way?
Today’s Reflection
Today’s episode invites you into the gentleness of a Sunday in December — a day to slow dow...
The Impossible Math of Time: Marking Another Year Without Them
A daily December series offering tender, truthful support for surviving the holidays after suicide loss — with grief, grace, and gentle company.
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This is December 13 — Welcome, Fellow Griever
The Impossible Math of Time (Our Birthday) - A Daily Journal Prompt:
“How has grief reshaped my sense of time — and who have I become in the years between then and now?”
Today’s Reflection
Today's reflection honors the impossible...
The Softness of the Weekend: A Little More Room to Breathe
A daily December series offering tender, truthful support for surviving the holidays after suicide loss — with grief, grace, and gentle company.
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This is December 12 — Welcome, Fellow Griever
The Softness of the Weekend - A Daily Journal Prompt
If I offered myself one simple act of care this weekend, what would it look like — and why does that matter to my heart?
Today’s Reflection
Today’s...
Honoring What Helps, Releasing What Hurts: Letting Every Day Be Different
A daily December series offering tender, truthful support for surviving the holidays after suicide loss — with grief, grace, and gentle company.
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This is December 11 — Welcome, Fellow Griever
Honoring What Helps, Releasing What Hurts - A Daily Journal Prompt: What helped me breathe a little easier today… and what felt too heavy to hold?
Today’s Reflection
Today’s episode invites you to honor the shifting landscape of your grief...
When “No” Becomes a Gift: Protecting Your Heart Without Apology
A daily December series offering tender, truthful support for surviving the holidays after suicide loss — with grief, grace, and gentle company.
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This is December 10 — Welcome, Fellow Griever
When ‘No’ Becomes a Gift- A Daily Journal Prompt:
“Where in my life does saying ‘no’ feel like an act of self-preservation — and how might I offer myself compassion for that?”
Today’s Reflection
Today’s episode explores the power of “no” as an a...
The Quiet Yes, the Quiet No: Listening for What Your Heart Is Asking Today
A daily December series offering tender, truthful support for surviving the holidays after suicide loss — with grief, grace, and gentle company.
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This is December 9 — Welcome, Fellow Griever
The Quiet Yes, The Quiet No --A Daily Journal Prompt:
“What quiet yes or quiet no is whispering inside me today — and what would it feel like to honor it?”
Today’s Reflection
Today’s episode explores the small but powerfu...
The Edges of Your Energy: How Boundaries Become Care in Grief
A daily December series offering tender, truthful support for surviving the holidays after suicide loss — with grief, grace, and gentle company.
Get THE Leftover Pieces APP & don't miss anything!
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This is December 8 — Welcome, Fellow Griever
Boundaries as Care -- A Daily Journal Prompt:
“What is one boundary my heart is asking for today — and what truth does that boundary protect?”
Today’s Reflection
Today’s episode opens Week Two with a tender look at boundaries — n...
What It Means to Still Be Here: Strength, Tenderness & the Seventh Day of December
A daily December series offering tender, truthful support for surviving the holidays after suicide loss — with grief, grace, and gentle company.
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This is December 7 — Welcome, Fellow Griever
Today’s Reflection
Seven days into December, today’s episode reflects on the strength, tenderness, and full humanity required to move through this month while living with suicide loss. You’re reminded that wherever you are in your grief — surviving, rebuilding, evolving, or integrating — y...
Rest as Resistance, Rest as Renewal: Letting Yourself Be Human Today
A daily December series offering tender, truthful support for surviving the holidays after suicide loss — with grief, grace, and gentle company.
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This is December 6 — Welcome, Fellow Griever
Today’s Reflection
Today’s episode honors rest as both resistance and renewal. Whether you're barely surviving, rebuilding your foundation, or beginning to reconnect with moments of joy or purpose, this reflection invites you to trust the wisdom of your energy and move through the...
