The Leftover Pieces: Suicide Loss Conversations
Suicide loss changes everything. This show is about life after suicide—real talk and practical support for grief after suicide: parents, partners, siblings, and friends finding their footing again. Each week, we explore what helps in suicide bereavement so you can keep going with honesty and hope.Hosted by Melissa Bottorff-Arey, whose 21-year-old son, Alex, died by suicide in 2016, the podcast blends intimate conversations with survivors, healers, and mental health experts with short solo “Daily Nugget” episodes you can actually use. We cover child loss, trauma and nervous-system care, anniversaries and seasons, stigma, faith and meaning, legacy, and the everyday practi...
Grief After Suicide: Month Wrap-Up & What Comes Next
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TODAY -- You’ve spent a month practicing gentler ways to carry what can’t be undone—and that practice is portable.
Journal prompt: “My takeaway from October—the thing I’ll actually use—is…”
Write one flicker sentence you believe today: “I can start small and still be real.” Build a 24-hour rebuild weave on a note you’ll see tomorrow: one light/witnessing anchor, one 7–10 minute brick, one value-aligned step. The...
Wrap Pt 2: Becoming on Purpose + Weaving the Light
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TODAY -- Identity trickled back in micro-acts, and then we stitched everything together with thresholds, pacing, and touchstones.
Journal prompt: “A boundary that made room for me was…”
Name one or two flickers of identity you lived this month—maker, advocate, listener—and keep them visible. Rebuild by pairing a three-beat threshold (Open • Be in it • Close) with one pacing move on your calendar (opt out/leave early/tap-in ally). <...
Wrap Pt 1: Hope in the Hollow + Healing in Motion After Suicide Loss
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TODAY --We started by finding light you could actually hold, then practiced repairs small enough to repeat.
Journal prompt: “What I’m keeping from these first two weeks is…”
Gather three flickers that worked for you—window light, their bracelet, a five-minute witness. Then build a mini rebuild stack you can run in ten minutes: one body reset (3-3-6 breath or warm/cold contrast), one Brick-of-the-Day (clear a squ...
A Letter to November-You: Carry Grief Forward, Gently
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TODAY --When the road tilts, leave breadcrumbs for the you who has to walk it.
Journal prompt: “If Future-Me spoke up today, she’d ask me to…”
Offer flicker by telling November-You one true thing that helped this month—maybe the “Window light + long exhale" from a fe weeks ago? Rebuild with a five-sentence note: greet her by name; name one practice that steadied you; offer one boundary to ke...
Grief Season Prep: Permission Language That Travels
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TODAY --Holidays and anniversaries come with scripts you didn’t write. Permission language lets you carry your truth into rooms that may not know how to hold it.
Journal prompt: “One event I’m resizing this season is… I’ll protect my energy by saying…”
Even before the day arrives, give yourself a flicker of relief by writing one sentence you can actually say out loud: “I’m keeping things simple this year.” Then rebui...
Edit Your Grief Practices: Review, Keep, Drop, Adjust
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TODAY -- Integration is mostly editing—conserving what helps, quietly retiring what doesn’t.
Journal prompt: “If I gave my energy a budget, I’d spend more on… and less on…”
Scan this month for flickers that actually eased a day—witnessing, one brick finished, a boundary honored, light as companion—and keep them on purpose. Rebuild with a quick three-column check: KEEP (works), DROP (drains), ADJUST (tweak). A...
Carry Their Memory Gently: Legacy Touchstones for This Season
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TODAY -- Touchstones let love travel with you without making every minute heavy.
Journal prompt: “What I’m keeping from this month is…”
Choose one flicker that feels like company: a phrase they loved, ten seconds of their song, a color that calls them to mind. Rebuild by placing a tiny touchstone where real life happens—light a candle at dinner, wear the bracelet, set a photo by the door, speak...
Reacting vs. Responding in Grief: Your Nervous System Needn't be the Enemy
Reacting vs. Responding in Grief — Life After Suicide Loss
Today I’m “down the rabbit hole,” teasing apart reacting vs. responding after traumatic loss—not to shame reactions (they’re human), but to widen the space where we can choose. We’ll touch nervous-system patterns (fight/flight/freeze/fawn/flop), how to spot activation in real time, and how tiny, honest choices build a life aligned with values.
If you’ve been listening to October’s Daily Nuggets, this pairs with Hope → Healing → Becoming very well
Reaction: fast, automatic, di...
Suicide Loss & Holiday Anxiety: Pacing the Calendar with Opt-Outs, Early Exits, and Allies
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TODAY -- The season gets crowded. Capacity isn’t disloyalty—it’s logistics for a heart carrying a lot.
Journal prompt: “A boundary that made room for me was…”
Choose your pace before the week chooses it for you. Let a flicker of relief lead: make one clear decision today and notice your shoulders drop. Rebuild with a concrete move—opt out (“Not this year”), leave early (“I can stay 45 minutes...
Grief After Suicide: Threshold Rituals to Open, Be In It, and Close
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TODAY -- When grief spikes—anniversaries, rooms that hold their echo—having a beginning and an ending lets your body know you’re not trapped inside the moment.
Journal prompt: “My threshold ritual will be…”
Hard moments deserve structure. Begin with a flicker that signals you’re entering on purpose—touch a photo or step outside and name the sky. Move into rebuild with a simple be-in-it container: time-b...
Grief Support After Suicide: A Rough-Day Plan with a Flicker, a Brick, a Step
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TODAY -- No heroics required. A window of light, a seven-minute finish, and a two-sentence check-in can turn a spinning day into a survivable one.
Journal prompt: “What I’m keeping from this month is…”
Your Personal Flicker–Brick–Step Plan (Rough-Day Ready)
On the days when suicide loss surges—the date you didn’t mean to remember, the song that blindsides you, the blame-loop at 2 a.m.—you don’t need pep. You need a...
Suicide Bereavement: Future Planning Without Panic—One-Inch Plans
You don’t need a five-year plan; one clear next action can steady the day in life after suicide loss.
Journal prompt: “When I picture myself exhaling tomorrow, the action that gets me there is…”
What we mean by a “one-inch plan” (so we’re clear):
A one-inch plan is small, specific, and scheduled—just enough structure to steady tomorrow without overwhelming today. Examples:
Healing After Suicide: Meaning That Doesn’t Erase Pain—Service • Art • Legacy
Meaning is a companion, not a cure; a small act of service or creation makes room for both love and ache in grief after suicide.
Journal prompt: “A value I still trust—and one 10-minute way to live it…”
What we mean by “meaning that doesn’t erase pain” (so we’re clear):
Meaning isn’t a cure or a performance. It’s a small, honest act that lets love move alongside ache. Examples:
Suicide Loss Daily Nugget: Community as Amplifier—Find or Host Small
Belonging doesn’t need a crowd; one steady person or tiny space can hold you as you are after suicide loss.
Journal prompt: “The kind of space where I breathe easier is… and one way I’ll find/ask for it is…”
What we mean by “tiny space” (so we’re clear):
A tiny space is low-pressure, consent-based, and specific—a container that fits your current capacity. Examples:
Life After Suicide Loss: “Firsts” Done Differently—Opt Out • Scale Down • Re-Script
Big days don’t require big performances; choose your size—opt out, scale down, or re-script—to protect your energy in suicide bereavement.
Journal prompt: “For my next tender date, I’ll protect my energy by… (opt out / scale down / re-script) because…”
What “choose your size” means (so we’re clear):
You get to set the size of participation to match your capacity.
Grief After Suicide: Tiny Courage—The Ask You’ve Been Avoiding
Courage doesn’t have to roar; in life after suicide loss, one small ask can unlock support, information, or relief.
Journal prompt: “If Future-Me spoke up today, she’d ask me to…”
What we mean by a “small ask” (so we’re on the same page):
A small ask is specific, short, and time-bound—one clear request that lightens the load. Examples:
Grief After Suicide: Values → Micro-Moves (10 Minutes or Less)
Values are steering, not slogans—translate one value into a doable 10-minute action and feel the quiet of alignment.
Journal prompt: “A value I still trust—and one 10-minute way to live it…”
A Flicker (Hope) — Alignment feels quieter
When action matches belief, your body often softens. Notice the quiet that follows even a tiny aligned move.
To Rebuild (Healing) — Name one value
Options: kindness, truth, courage, service, creativity, presence, faithfulness. Write one sentence: “Today I live [value] by [micro-act].”
Tak...
Life After Suicide Loss: Keep/Recover Who You Are — Identity Words
Identity doesn’t vanish after suicide loss; name the parts that still fit and make room for them on purpose.
Journal prompt: “Where I feel most like myself lately is…”
Identity doesn’t vanish; it gets buried. Today we name the parts of you that still fit—and make room for them on purpose.
A Flicker (Hope) — A familiar thread
Notice one moment you felt like you this week—how you spoke, moved, created, cared. Keep that thread.
To Rebuild (Healing) — Pick 1–2 identity words
Exampl...
Grief After Suicide: Repairing Misattunements—Simple “I Wish I’d Said…” Scripts
Small, honest repairs protect your energy in life after suicide loss—one kind line can reset connection -- reset a missattunemnet--and settle a day.
Journal prompt: “Today, permission looks like…”
A misattunement is when the response misses the moment—yours or theirs—so the nervous systems don’t line up and everyone leaves a little off-key. “I wish I’d said…” scripts are short, kind repair lines you can send (or say to yourself) after the fact to realign—no essays, no debates, just a clean reset.
If you want quick examples to gr...
Grief After Suicide: Workday Micro-Boundaries That Keep You Functional
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Mondays can hit hard in life after suicide loss—protect capacity with tiny yes/no lines and one clear choice.
Journal prompt: “One thing my body asked for (and what I did)…”
Mondays can hit hard. Today we protect capacity with tiny, professional yes/no lines.
A Flicker (Hope) — One clear choice
Choosing “later” instead of forcing “now” can bring instant relief. That relief is data—keep it.
To Rebuild (Healing...
Life After Suicide Loss: Self-Witnessing When Others Can’t Hold It
When the right listener isn’t available, witnessing yourself—note or voice memo—keeps you seen and grounded in suicide bereavement.
Journal prompt: “If I gave myself 10% more gentleness, I would…”
Sometimes the right listener isn’t available. Today we make sure you still get heard.
A Flicker (Hope) — Proof you exist
Your words on paper or in a memo are evidence. Seeing or hearing yourself can soften the edge—keep that proof.
To Rebuild (Healing) — 5-minute self-witness
Set a timer for 5 minutes. Speak...
Suicide Loss Daily Nugget: Weekend Reset Ritual—Small, Repeatable, Real
Weekends can feel loud or empty after suicide loss; one tiny ritual can steady you without draining you.
Journal prompt: “Today, leaning into self-care looks like…”
Weekends can feel loud or empty. Today we keep a tiny ritual that steadies you without stealing your energy.
A Flicker (Hope) — A repeatable calm spot
The same mug, the same chair, the same two minutes of quiet. Familiar can be soothing—let it be.
To Rebuild (Healing) — Three-part reset (≤10 minutes)
Clear a square: Tidy one sma...Grief After Suicide: Say Less, Save Energy—Boundaries Without the Essay
Clarity protects your battery in life after suicide loss—short, kind sentences are real self-care.
Journal prompt: “Today, permission looks like…”
Clarity beats performance. Short, kind sentences protect your battery.
A Flicker (Hope) — Immediate ease after a clean line
Feel the exhale when you keep it simple: fewer words, less convincing, more relief. Keep the relief.
To Rebuild (Healing) — Three scripts to pocket
Time-box: “I can do 20 minutes.”
Scale-down: “I’m joining by phone today.”
Opt-out: “I’m ski...
Healing After Suicide: Boring Bricks That Save the Day (Food • Water • Rest)
Relief after refuel is real—practical grace steadies life after suicide loss.
Journal prompt: “If I gave myself 10% more gentleness, I would…”
Grace is practical. The basics aren’t glamorous, but they are medicine.
A Flicker (Hope) — Relief after refuel
Notice how the room feels different after water, a snack, or ten minutes horizontal. That ease is data—keep it.
To Rebuild (Healing) — The FWR check (2 minutes)
Food: Protein + fiber in the next hour (yogurt, nuts, egg, hummus + crackers).
Water: Drink a...
Grief After Suicide: Regulate First—Nervous System Basics You’ll Use
Tiny regulation beats big resolve; two minutes can calm a body carrying suicide loss.
Journal prompt: “One thing my body asked for (and what I did)…”
Small regulation beats big resolve. Today is about tools you’ll actually use in under two minutes.
A Flicker (Hope) — Your body gives you clues
Jaw unclenches after a slower exhale. Shoulders drop when you step outside. A tiny shift is still a shift—keep it.
To Rebuild (Healing) — 3 quick resets (pick one)
Orienting (60–90s): Look arou...
Suicide Loss Daily Nugget: A Gentle Reset—Your 24-Hour Plan
In life after suicide loss, keep what helped, release what didn’t, and set one small plan for the next 24 hours—repeats are allowed.
Journal prompt: “What I’m keeping from this week is…”
End of first 7 days of October, not an end of you, just of the 1st 7 days of a new month...in a tough season. Today we keep what helped, release what didn’t, and set a small plan for the next 24 hours.
A Flicker (Hope) — Notice what worked once
Which tiny thing warmed the room—w...
Grief After Suicide: Boundaries as Warmth—Not Walls
In life after suicide loss, boundaries aren’t punishments—they’re blankets; clear limits keep you warm enough to heal.
Journal prompt: “Today, permission looks like…”
Boundaries aren’t punishments—they’re blankets. Today we practice limits that keep you warm enough to heal.
A Flicker (Hope) — Relief after a clear no
Notice what loosens when you cancel, leave early, or choose quiet. Relief is data. Keep the data.
To Rebuild (Healing) — Scale it, don’t explain it
Use one of these today:
• Ti...
Life After Suicide Loss: Carrying Them Forward—Without Disappearing You
“Carrying forward” includes you—make space for their memory and your life, together.
Journal prompt: “A way to honor them by honoring me is…”
“Carrying forward” includes you. Today we make room for their memory and your life—together.
A Flicker (Hope) — Connection counts
Their song in a store aisle. A phrase they loved. A photo you pass without bracing. These are ties, not traps. Let one connection feel like company.
To Rebuild (Healing) — A 3-step carry-forward ritual
Name: Say their name out loud...Suicide Loss Daily Nugget: Light as Companion, Not Cure
In life after suicide loss, let light walk beside you—not fix you—just enough to show the next few feet.
Journal prompt: “Today’s flicker of hope was…”
Witnessing light without forcing it to fix anything. Today we let light walk beside us and do only what light can do—show the next few feet.
A Flicker (Hope) — Light you can actually hold
Morning sun through a window. Moonlight on the driveway. A soft lamp instead of overhead glare. Not profound—present. Let one bit of light keep you c...
Life After Suicide Loss: Rebuilding from Ruins—Bricks, Not Blueprints
There’s no master plan in suicide bereavement—just small bricks that actually hold.
Journal prompt: "A way to honor them by honoring me is…"
There’s no master plan—just weather and small bricks. Today is about doable over dazzling so the house you’re rebuilding can actually stand.
A Flicker (Hope) — Small done beats big imagined
Finish one tiny thing: rinse the mug, move bills to one stack, crack a window, light a candle. Finished equals a warmer room. Warmth counts.
To Rebuild (Hea...
Suicide Loss Daily Nugget: Being Seen on Purpose
In grief after suicide, witnessing redistributes weight—asked for cleanly, without apology.
Journal prompt: "What healing looks like—even when I can’t feel it—is…"
Witnessing redistributes weight. Not gone—carried together. Today we practice asking to be seen, cleanly and without apology.
A Flicker (Hope) — You’re allowed to be heard
Five quiet minutes. A nod. A text that lands. Hope isn’t a speech; it’s an accurate reflection without fixing.
To Rebuild (Healing) — The five-minute witnessing ask
Text: “Could you hold f...
Suicide Loss Daily Nugget: Why the Hollow Isn’t Empty
After suicide loss, the “hollow” isn’t failure—it’s space where hope, healing, and becoming can actually take root.
Journal prompt: Today’s flicker of hope was…
This week..."Hope in the Hollow"
Now, October. After the volume of Suicide Awareness Month, we drop into the quieter work. This DAILY NUGGET Series is centered on Hope, Healing, Becoming. It’s here to carry us—and embolden us—through a tough stretch of the year. We didn’t choose this road, but we can choose how we...
Widen the Lens, Reach In; Patty Born on Loss, Connection, & Showing Up
Today I share a recent conversation I had with a two-time suicide loss survivor, including her beloved son Zack in Sept. 2024.
Meet Zack's Mom
Patty Born is a board-certified Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner, licensed massage therapist, and nurse coach-in-training who integrates mind-body care. A two-time suicide loss survivor—her ex-husband (2012) Charlie, and her 19-year-old son, Zachary (Sept 2024)—Patty speaks openly about grief, stigma, and what truly supports healing. Her mission: normalize mental health conversations in healthcare and everyday life, and honor Charlie and Zack through the work she does.
The Loop We Don’t See; Jamie Brickhouse on Alcohol & Depression
In this September 2025 episode, in the midst of Suicide Awareness Month, I’m widening the lens from life after loss to awareness and advocacy. (BUT...We are NOT taking the preachy "prevention" angle that comes at us non-stop in Sept., I promise!) Writer/storyteller Jamie Brickhouse—a self-described SAS (suicide attempt survivor)—joins me to unpack the alcohol–depression loop, the suicidal mind, and the “why” questions so many of us carry after suicide loss.
What to Expect
Jamie’s candid story and what shifted in the...Overcoming; A Brave Dad Grieves Outloud
Today I speak with a father who lost his son Heston to suicide June 7, 2020
"Andy Campbell’s new book, Overcoming Life’s Toughest Setbacks, distills his 15 core beliefs that helped him keep going when life didn’t let up. His lens is earned: childhood sexual abuse and bullying, losing his mother young, estrangement from his father, a diagnosis of stage-4 pancreatic cancer with multiple surgeries and chemo, and the death of his youngest son by suicide.
The result is a practical, no-nonsense approach—favoring humility, clear thinking, focused work, relentless curiosity, persevera...
Mindfulness Shifts Grief: Reshma Kearney Guides Others
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Now, for our episode-- Today, I’m joined by Reshma Kearney — a trauma-informed mindfulness and healing guide who helps people navigate grief and the life transitions after suicide loss with compassion and resilience. After losing her husband, Sean to suicide in 2022, Reshma has chosen to dedicated her life to creating spaces where grief can be honored, healing can be nurtured, and hope can be rediscovered. She works with adults, teens, and c...
Digital Echoes, Human Hearts; Turning Loss into Legacy
On day one of Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, we explore how postvention becomes prevention—through families who consent to share a loved one’s device so the Black Box Project can detect real-world patterns that help save lives.
Kim Burditt Bartlett, MSW — She is a suicide loss sibling and Senior Manager of Family Engagement for Stop Soldier Suicide’s Black Box Project. She creates trauma-informed resources and co-founded Sibling Strong Retreats.
What is the Black Box Project is (plainly):
A research and care initiative at Stop Soldier Su...
Grief Truth #31; August Daily Nuggets
"Grief truth: We keep going, together."
Welcome, fellow griever.
This is your Daily Nugget from me, Melissa, your host of The Leftover Pieces.
Today we will share a moment of presence, a breath of truth, and a reminder.
Lean in with me ---
This month, we’ve walked through thirty-one days of truths about grief — the ones that don’t fit on sympathy cards or in quick conversations, but live in the marrow of our lives.
We’ve talked about love and loss, about how grief changes but never disappea...
Grief Truth #30; August Daily Nuggets
"Grief will always be part of your story."
Welcome, fellow griever.
This is your Daily Nugget from me, Melissa, your host of The Leftover Pieces.
Today we will share a moment of presence, a breath of truth, and a reminder.
Lean in with me ---
It will not always be the main chapter—but it will always be written into the pages.
"Grief will always be part of your story."
Grief is not something you “finish” and leave behind. It becomes part of your life’s landscape—wove...
Grief Truth #29; August Daily Nuggets
"Some days, survival is enough."
Welcome, fellow griever.
This is your Daily Nugget from me, Melissa, your host of The Leftover Pieces.
Today we will share a moment of presence, a breath of truth, and a reminder.
Lean in with me ---
Not every day will be a day of breakthroughs or big steps forward. Some days, breathing is the accomplishment.
"Some days, survival is enough."
Grief takes energy—more than most people realize. There will be days when your body and mind have nothing left for an...
