YES WE CANADA The Progressives Guide to Getting the Fuck Out - Season Four

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We thought we'd take the cruel, mean and hopelessly ignorant policies of the Trump administration up to the cottage to see if they felt any better from that perspective.  They didn't. But all the same, recording the pod on the porch was an experience not to be missed.  Until it wasn't.

In case you want to holler at us - you can do it here matt.zimbel@gmail.com 

Thanks for listening. We hope you are enjoying your summer, despite the arrival of fast fascism.

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With sixty senators over sixty,  the current American Senate is the oldest in history. Permanent guest host Mio Adilman and regular host Matt Zimbel do a deep dive into why our politicians are decomposing, right in front of us.   This podcast never gets old!

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Did you ever wonder how 82 year old Joe Biden and his  family and advisors thought he could actually execute the presidency of the United States, the second most demanding job in the world for another four years?  Well, so did God. 

If you want to holler at us: yeswecanadapodcast@gmail.com 

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In a few days we're gonna have an election in Canadastan! Elections have consequences...We're about to have some consequences! 

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Do you enjoy a dysfunctional human resources story with catastrophic national ramifications as much as I do? No, I'm not talking about Pete Hegseth...yet. This one is local - but these days local is global. This is the tale of Justin Trudeau's downfall...

It's sad, but fun!

You can reach the Yes We Canada breaking news desk here: zimbel@videotron.ca 

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For those of you who have been the Yes We Canada party faithful for the past five years, you may remember that we did an episode that was called "Not the 51st State, Y'all".  It streamed first on January 12, 2021 and explored the vast differences between the United States and The Canada. It was written and produced at a time when, unlike today, the people who ran the White House were not Non compos mentis.

In picking his cabinet Donald Trump made one commitment to himself.  "I will be the smartest person in...

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Trade war,  anyone? Get your rations and meet me in the trenches!

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AI is coming for us all so I want to introduce you to my new bot friends. I call them Chloe and Cody. They have a bodcast about our podcast.   I like to think of them as very professional announcers and yet… deeply attracted to each other, but currently in other relationships.  So, there’s always an electric sexual tension between them in the studio…the wanton want…the unfulfilled desire, their knobby bot knees touching inconspicuously under the recording console …

Chloe’s cheeks blush, as she feels a wisp of oily perspirat...

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Biden left Trump a letter in the Oval on the Resolute Desk.  But before Trump got in, we got in and went through the  garbage can and found Biden’s deleted drafts…garbage  journalism?  You bet and we're proud of it! 

Trump’s back!  Air sickness bag anyone? 

We always love to hear from you! 

 zimbel@videotron.ca 

Support the show!  www.patreon/yeswecanada.com 

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Say you have trouble concentrating, yeah... just like the rest of us. We made this mini-ep for you. Some highlights from season two and three. Poli-sat (that’s political satire for the focus deprived) is short, snappy and requires little actual thinking. 

We always love to hear from you - zimbel@videotron.ca is a good place to find us. Check out the tiktok page @tiktok/mattzimbeloffical.

Season 4 starts on Feb. 20th, 2025, with “The Letter’  Do not miss it! 

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Elections have consequences! School nurses will no longer be allowed to perform gender reassignment surgery at school! Dogs and cats in Springfield can sleep at night knowing that Kristi Noem will be looking after  their Homeland security. Elon Musk will do to the government bureaucracy what he did to Twitter.  

Yep, it's time to move to Canada.

This is the final episode of season three.  Enjoy?

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The Washington Post wouldn't do it but Yes We Canada sure will.  This is our endorsement for president of the United States of America. 

But because we are the Swiss Army Knife of political satire podcasting we will also touch lightly on the size of Arnold Palmer's penis, pet eating and other critical issues facing the American electorate.

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We've been reading the polling in this US election cycle and it looks like Black is the new orange!  Donald Trump may be creating a new Black job in Washington DC  and we're back to tell you all about it!

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Well, it's a "major announcement" and if we told you right here what it was, why would you listen to the episode?  You know, just because we've dedicated our entire working lives to writing stupid podcast promos doesn't mean we haven't thought this through. 

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My dear American progressives, 

You know when you get all frustrated with your country and say shit like, "that's it, I'm moving to Canada?" Well, 'movin' to Canada is not as easy as it sounds.  

But because we are so grateful for your support and so tremendously concerned about your future, you know, once Trump gets re-elected and frees the 700 January 6th 'hostages/political prisoners', we thought you might need some legal counsel .  So we booked you a lawyer, on us.  

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Tucker Carlson, American "journalist" decides it's time to fly to Calgary to "liberate" Canada and then jet to Moscow have a "serious talk" with Russian  President  V. Putin. Much hilarity ensues. 

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Oh, my Americans y’all love your renegades. Your mavericks on a mission. Your rebels in resistance. Y’all love an armed, chiselled man, on a quest for redemption, to hell with “corporate” and their petty, girly boy, rules. 

 America…where insubordination r …us. 

 Which, in an odd kinda way, explains why, over 9 million people who voted for Obama in 2012 up and decided to vote for Trump in 2016.  Cuz y’all love an outsider… no matter what they believe in. 

Yep, Trump gave the middle finger to the man, then...

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There are upstanding Conservatives, staunch Republicans, proud “Never Trumpers” or perhaps we should say; “Never Again, Trumpers” and they’re hurting.  

They lay their weary anti-woke heads on their pillows at night and dream of Nikki Haley being inaugurated as president on January 20th 2025.  

 Now, gosh, we're sorry to pop your right-wing patriotic bubble… but we're afraid that the Future Felon in Chief - Donny J. is the one who who’ll be representing Republicans on election day and likely raising his tiny right hand on Jan. 20, 2025 

 So, it is not...

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Well this is a tough one.  This episode went sideways. If we tell you how, we will be accused of rampant spoiler alert. So, press play, and and listen carefully as your 9th favorite podcast loses complete control of the run of show. 

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In the United States of America, the law and order party currently has a law and order problem.  Looks like the Republican nominee for president is wanted on 91 felony counts in four states. Simultaneously his businesses are in civil court in New York, losing on fraud and financial misdoings charges, just like his charities and his um, University. There are so many misdoings a foot that our boy Donny John might just be misdone. His indicted co-conspirators are starting to flip like breakfast pancakes and he’s hemorrhaging green to pay the legal tea...

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2022 What a year!  Fugetaboudit.  Never too soon to review 2022! Arghhhhhhhhh. Come on!  You can do it.  We make it fun and it's the last episode of season two!  We're gonna miss you guys!

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Matt was on assignment in the US and guest host Mio Adilman booked a big one!  God makes his second appearance on Yes We Canada for an  in depth interview on the Presidential field for 2024, living voters voting for dead candidates,  Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and a few never before heard insights into the Jewish religion from someone who oughta know... the big guy, himself, opens up in this exclusive interview and he's some wrathy. 

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In the US there are seven words you can't say on television.  Well, in Canada there are 106 words you can't say in Parliament. 

No shit!

Nope, shit is one of them. 

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You’ve heard of “The Great Replacement Theory “right? 

No? Let me rephrase that… you’ve heard of the right’s great replacement theory… correct? Right?

 The Jews and other democratic elites are trying to change the electorate by importing immigrants who will vote for democratic policies, like big government spending. Cuz we all know how the Jews like big spending right?

Tucker Carlson, George Soros on line one  from Martha's Vineyard. 

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Wokies and Wokettes,

Huge booking on the show today...a feature interview with God.   He's been listening to YouTube clips of  Marjorie Taylor Green, Ted Cruz, Alex Jones and  Lauren Bobert and they are bringing the wrath of God.  In fact, I've never heard him this wrathy. 

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Progressives, I read books about Mike Pence so you don’t have to…  You’re welcome.

You see Mike was your vice president for four years.  You may not have noticed him, he was usually sitting ever slightly behind President Donald J. Trump’s right shoulder, staring beatifically off into the middle distance, his brow slightly furrowed, his expression one of deep admiration as his leader spoke, and told yet another lie to the American people.

Michael Richard Pence, former vice president of the United States, former governor of Indiana, f...

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The Canadian Military is in the midst of a  full blown sexual  misconduct crisis.  It has been going on for years. Now, you might think “crisis” is a little journalistic hyperbole, a little “click bait” to keep y’all listening?  Oh, no, check this out… in 2016 and 2017, seven former members of the CAF brought a class action lawsuit against the Government of Canada alleging sexual misconduct, sexual assault, discrimination based on sexual orientation, gender identity and the list goes on… and on. 

You know how many CAF members signed on to the class action su...

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Deplorables… you have now become …delusionals.  When you had a tough time selling the triumvirate attack of Antifa / Black Lives Matter / FBI on the Capitol, you pivoted to your “normal tourist visit” narrative which also turned out to be troublesome because of the avalanche of video showing your  Trump clad " tourists" beating cops like blood thirsty barbarians. So, you pivoted yet again and started calling your insurrection ; “legitimate political discourse”. 

 Discourse?  Of course.

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Americans, my dear exceptionalist friends, we know how to attack our government buildings up here in Canada too.  You're not so special. 

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Americans!  Hello, Bonjour, welcome to season two. 

Let’s get you up to date. When we last spoke, in May of 2021, Trump supporters were claiming that the January 6th insurrection at the Capitol was actually executed by the FBI in a joint venture with Black Lives Matter and Antifa who were false flagging the riot by masquerading in Trump merch.  Wow a lot of BS to unpack there, no? And that’s not all…

 A lot has happened in America since our last episode in Season 1… the Corona V...

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The British Columbians are masters at running “pirate economies”. Centuries before the current BC Bud enterprise was launched, the fur trade was a huge part of the BC economy when the Europeans arrived in the home of the First Nations with lots of arrogant ambition and a buffet of epidemics. That was followed by a few slightly sleazy gold rushes and then some pretty dedicated exploitation of the Japanese, Chinese and other Asians. During prohibition in the U.S., B.C. became the liquor hub for the west coast of the U.S.  We’ve...

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In Canada we have ten “provinces”.  Think about the difference between States and Provinces.  If you are “stately” it means you are elegant, distinguished, imperial even.  If you are “provincial”, you are local, unsophisticated, as y’all say in the States, “a goddamn hick”. That does not apply in Canada. In our country, provinces have much more autonomy than states do in the US. Health care, education, taxes, marriage, property and most civil rights are all the domain of the provinces not the federal government.The feds give money to the provinces to provide t...

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After you immigrate from the US, we are determined to find you a place to live in Canada.  On today's episode we explore Saskatchewan where they have been social distancing for the past 150 years and Manitoba. Friendly,  Manitoba, eh?

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We built this podcast for progressives who want to immigrate to Canada.  But then your child idiot president legally lost the election in November.  Joey Biden moved into the people's house and turned out to be much more progressive than we ever thought!  Who knew? 

Why would progressive want to leave the US now?  You got the keys to the candy store!  Well that's all fine and dandy but we still have a podcast to do here people.  So we rebranded. We would like to invite Republicans to immigrate to Canada's most co...

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You will learn about Canada's two tiniest provinces, Prince Edward Island and Nova Scotia.  And bonus, you will also learn how to do the famous "Inhalation Affirmation".
Your life will be transformed!

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The 16th largest Island in the world is on the east coast of Canada.  And you can immigrate there, but before you do, you'll have to be "screeched in". This episode will explain it all. 

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What do you think the New Brunswick press called a doll house collecting, disco dancing, 'committed bachelor' premier in the 1970’s?  

Yep, they called him: “flamboyant”.  Richard Hatfield, former potato chip salesman, lawyer and chemist who ran the province for 17 years, is front and centre in a  story like no other. 

I’ll be at Studio 54 if you need to reach me. 

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We dive deep into Cali-anada,  the much discussed movement for California cede statehood with the  US and join Canada as our eleventh province.  Well, it is a ‘much discussed’ movement on this show, but, probably, nowhere else. 

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In Canada, we are a modest people and when huge international celebrity hits, it is very difficult to process with humility. I speak from personal experience:

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Over the past 20 years roughly 235,000 new immigrants arrive in Canada every year. The current Liberal government has upped immigration levels to 300,000 people per year.  Covid 19 isn't  helping them get to that number but the intent is there.  There’s a lot of criteria to get by the bureaucrat bouncer at the Canadian immigration rope line,   but if you’re between 18 and 54, language is an important factor for your approval.

To successfully immigrate to Canada, you have to speak and understand either English or French at what is called “Level 4”.  

With level 4...