While We're Waiting® - Hope After Child Loss

Welcome back to the second half of my conversation with Greg and Cathy Buffkin.

In today's episode, the Buffkins speak directly to the grieving parent—especially the one who has lost a child to suicide and is wondering how to take the next breath, let alone the next step. With transparency and tenderness, they offer hard-won wisdom from their own journey, sharing what sustained them through the darkest days and how God’s presence, along with the support of others, helped carry them forward.

They share honestly about the emotional weight of guilt, the unique stru...

Greg and Cathy Buffkin join me on the podcast today to share the story of their son Ryan—a funny and tenderhearted young man who brought joy and laughter to everyone around him. As we get to know Ryan through their memories, we also learn about the hidden struggles he carried and the heartbreaking loss they experienced when he died by suicide in the fall of 2015.

With honesty and grace, Greg and Cathy open up about the complicated grief that comes with suicide loss, including the misconceptions that often surround it. They speak directly to the false be...

Rachel Wojo is my guest once again, and today we shift from her story of parenting her daughter Taylor through a terminal illness to the deeper spiritual lessons that followed her death—lessons about grief, surrender, and the hard, holy work of prayer when God’s answer is “no.”

Rachel shares the story behind her latest book, Desperate Prayers, and talks honestly about wrestling with God, receiving painful judgment from others, and redefining what healing really means. We also explore how prayer connects us to God in the midst of spiritual warfare and how—even when words fail—God h...

In this first half of our two-part conversation, author and speaker Rachel Wojo shares her journey with her daughter Taylor, who was diagnosed with a rare degenerative condition.  Rachel opens up about the challenges and the joys of parenting a special needs child, walking through divorce and disappointment, and holding onto her faith as Taylor's health declined, ultimately leading to her homegoing at the age of 22 in 2019.  

Rachel is the author of Desperate Prayers and a multitude of other helpful books and resources related to Bible study and prayer.  She also hosts an excellent weekly podcast called Unt...

In this second half of our two-part conversation, Austin DeArmond returns to the mic to continue exploring some of the most common myths and misunderstandings people have about heaven—especially those that surface in grief and longing after child loss. Austin brings deep scriptural knowledge and a tender heart shaped by personal experience as a bereaved dad himself.

Together, we dive into thought-provoking questions like:

My friend, Austin DeArmond, returns to the podcast today to explore some of the most common myths and misconceptions people have about Heaven. As a bereaved Dad, Bible translation consultant, and faithful follower of Christ, Austin brings both personal insight and biblical depth to this important discussion.

We talk about questions many of us have wrestled with: Will Heaven be boring? Do we become angels? Will we recognize our loved ones? Is there time in Heaven? What happens to us when we die? With wisdom and grace, Austin walks us through what scripture really says—and doesn't sa...

As we continue our conversation from the previous episode, Josh and Nicole Kingsbury open up about how they’ve walked through grief as a couple after the loss of their daughter, Amber, to suicide in 2021. They share the early commitment they made to protect their marriage amidst the pain and the ways they’ve learned to communicate through their differing grief styles.

We also discuss the "before and after" of child loss, hear some of their favorite scriptures, talk about the importance of lament in the grief journey, and hear how doing ministry together has been a big...

I recently had the privilege of sitting down with Josh and Nicole Kingsbury as they shared the beautiful and heartbreaking story of their daughter Amber. A vibrant, creative, and compassionate young girl who loved Jesus, Amber touched the lives of everyone around her. Josh and Nicole reflect on her love for art, her deep bond with her brother, and her passion for helping others.

They also discuss the subtle changes they noticed as Amber entered her teenage years — changes that were very typical for an adolescent girl. In a moment that would forever alter their lives, Amber ma...

Welcome to Episode #254, which is a continuation of my conversation with Michael and Peggy Mages. In our last episode, we were introduced to their son Mason—a bold, kindhearted, and faith-filled young man—and the tragic day they lost him in a drowning incident.

In this second half, Michael and Peggy open up about life in the aftermath of loss. They share advice for newly bereaved parents, reflect on how grief has changed their marriage, their parenting, and their walk with the Lord, and offer insight into what it means to persevere in faith when the pain does...

Today, I’m honored to welcome Michael and Peggy Mages to the podcast to share the story of their son, Mason—a deeply thoughtful young man often referred to as an "old soul", who loved everything John Deere and Star Wars, was always prepared with a pair of pliers, and displayed confidence in exactly who God created him to be.

In this first half of our conversation, you’ll hear about Mason’s unique personality, the impact he had on those around him, and the day that changed everything—the drowning incident that placed Mason into the arms of Je...

In Part Two of this powerful conversation, Brad and Karen Nadolson continue sharing the story of their daughter Bethany—this time focusing on how life has unfolded in the wake of her homegoing.

With honesty and grace, they talk about walking through the earliest days of grief, how their relationship with God has deepened, and the ways they've learned to honor Bethany’s life while continuing to live with purpose and hope. They speak about how grief affects marriage, how they’ve navigated holidays, and what it means to truly see the good even when your heart is bro...

In this first part of a two-part conversation, Brad and Karen Nadolson share the story of their daughter Bethany—a vibrant, faith-filled young woman whose life was defined by compassion, courage, and an unwavering desire to serve others.

Listeners will get to know Bethany through her parents’ eyes—from her love of travel and missions, to her selfless work with children in Haiti, to her brave fight with cancer. Through every chapter of her life, Bethany chose to see the good, a motto that shaped how she lived and how she faced unimaginable challenges.

Brad and Ka...

Welcome to Episode #250, which is a continuation of my conversation with Brian and Danna Mayhall.  Their daughter Amelia went to Heaven in July of 2013 after sustaining a devastating brain injury due to a woman’s deliberate decision to drive the wrong way down the freeway. In last week’s episode, we came to know Amelia’s beautiful and compassionate spirit and the painful circumstances surrounding her death.  

Today, we continue that conversation by stepping into some of the most tender parts of the Mayhall's grief journey—walking through forgiveness, learning how grief evolves over time, and discovering how hope c...

I was honored to sit down with Brian and Danna Mayhall recently, who joined me to share the story of their daughter, Amelia—a young woman whose life was characterized by kindness and compassion.   

Amelia sustained a devastating injury after a woman made a deliberate choice to drive the wrong way down the freeway and crashed into her car.  In today’s episode, you’ll hear about the months Amelia lived beyond the crash, the tender loving care given by her parents, and her ultimate homegoing in July of 2013.  

You’ll also hear how the Mayhalls hav...

Last week I introduced you to my friend Jeannie Williams, and we heard the story of her precocious and compassionate 11-year-old son Jeffrey, who died from carbon monoxide poisoning in a hotel room in 2013, an incident that left her with permanent after-effects as well.  

In today's episode, Jeannie shares how grief has impacted her relationships with others, the challenges of finding a new identity after child loss, and the advice she would offer to newly bereaved parents. We also discuss the dangers of carbon monoxide poisoning—what she has learned from her own experience and the precautions she...

Today, I have the privilege of introducing you to Jeannie Williams, a mother, wife, and "retired" homeschool teacher, whose life took an unimaginable turn in June of 2013.  

Jeannie will share the story of her son, Jeffrey—his kind heart, his love for reading and Lego (with no “S”), and the joy he brought to those around him. She’ll also open up about the tragedy that took place in a hotel room one summer night and the journey of grief, faith, and healing she has walked ever since. I believe you will be comforted and inspired by our conve...

Thank you for joining me for the final bonus episode in this series in which I’ve been sharing our family’s experiences in the last year of our daughter Hannah’s life, which spanned from February 2008 through February 2009.  I’ll be completing the series today with a wrap-up about the ministry which developed out of Hannah’s homegoing.   As always, my desire is to give glory to God and point listeners to hope in Jesus along the way.  I’m so grateful you’ve joined me over this past year … Your listens and your kind comments have been a blessing to my he...

A friend of ours got us connected with an architect who donated his time and drew up a plan for our dream retreat center.  The facility would incorporate the existing house, adding a large dining room, a commercial kitchen, and ten private guest rooms, each with its own bathroom.  No more bunk beds with creaky plastic mattresses or shared bathrooms!  This gentleman created a beautiful concept drawing and presented it to us one snowy Sunday afternoon.  Then he told us the estimated cost ... One MILLION dollars!  We had $3,000 in our While We're Waiting bank account.  

Thank you for jo...

For three years, we had wonderful bereaved-parent retreats at Family Farm.  As awareness began to grow about the ministry via word-of-mouth, internet searches, and our Facebook presence, our waiting lists also began to grow.  Even with adding more retreat dates at other locations, we could no longer keep up with the demand for these events.

And as wonderful as Family Farm is, it was not an ideal location for the types of retreats we were hosting.  After all, it was a children's camp ... complete with bunk rooms filled with bunk beds.  Definitely not ideal for a grieving pare...

Last week, we heard the story of Nanette's beautiful daughter Katie’s life and the day everything changed for their family. Today, we continue our conversation, diving into what life has been like in the years since that time. Nanette shares the scriptures that became her anchor, the importance of sound theology, the challenges of navigating sibling grief, and how she's learned to trust the nail-scarred hands. If you’re wondering how to find hope after devastating loss, this episode is for you.

Click HERE to listen to Part One of my conversation with Nanette.

Clic...

That first bereaved-parent retreat in April of 2011 turned out to be above and beyond all we could have ever asked or imagined.  We knew from our experience at the Respite Retreat what God could do when a group of like-minded bereaved parents got together ... but this first While We're Waiting Weekend was such a sweet confirmation of what we believed God was calling us to do.

Buoyed by the success of this first event, we quickly scheduled our next retreat for November of 2011.  And you know what?  That retreat almost didn't "make." 

Thank you for join...

Over the next few months, we met frequently to discuss plans and pray about our upcoming retreat for bereaved parents.  Several times we drove out to Family Farm and included Stan and Donna May in our planning meetings.

Thank you for joining me for another bonus episode in this series in which I’ve been sharing our family’s experiences in the last year of our daughter Hannah’s life, which spanned from February 2008 through February 2009.  This series would not be complete without a discussion of the ministry which developed out of Hannah’s homegoing.  If you’ll indulge me...

Brad and I returned home from the Respite Retreat still basking in the glow of the new relationships we'd formed, the things we'd learned from spending time with other bereaved parents, and a renewed hope that it was still possible to have joy in life in spite of our great loss. 

We had a strong sense that God was calling us into a similar type ministry for those who had lost children, but we had no idea how to move forward with it.  We talked about it a lot, and we sought God's direction, but we just di...

Even though I didn't really want to go, and this thing was way outside my comfort zone, Brad and I signed up for the Respite Retreat scheduled for Labor Day Weekend in September of 2010.  We couldn't have known at the time what a profound impact it would have on our lives.  

Thank you for joining me for another bonus episode in this series in which I’ve been sharing our family’s experiences in the last year of our daughter Hannah’s life, which spanned from February 2008 through February 2009.  This series would not be complete without a discussion...

During the final days of Hannah's life, many people dropped by the hospice center and left books, gifts, food, and other items for our family.  These kindnesses were so greatly appreciated.

Most of these gifts were accompanied by a card indicating who had given them.  But one gift, a book called "Holding On To Hope" by Nancy Guthrie, was accompanied by a card signed only with the initials "plc".  The anonymous person who brought that gift could not have foreseen what an impact it would have in our lives. 

Thank you for join...

Thank you for joining me for another bonus episode in this series in which I’ve been sharing our family’s experiences in the last year of our daughter Hannah’s life, which spanned from February 2008 through February 2009.  This series would not be complete without a discussion of the ministry which developed out of Hannah’s homegoing.  If you’ll indulge me for a few more bonus episodes, I’d like to share how God used Hannah’s storm to birth the While We’re Waiting ministry to bereaved parents.  As always, my desire is to give glory to God and point liste...

Today’s episode features a conversation with my friend Nanette Klinect.  We discuss the beautiful and miraculous story of her daughter Katie’s adoption, the tragic accident that changed everything, and the hard and holy privilege she had to walk her home to Heaven. With honesty, faith, and even a touch of humor, Nanette reflects on grief, healing, and the ways she continues to see God's hand at work in her story.  Lean in and be encouraged.

Click HERE to register or to learn more about the Our Hearts Are Home conference coming up in Lynchburg, Virginia, in Apr...

There never really was any question where Hannah's body would be buried.  There's a beautiful cemetery in Briggsville, Arkansas, where the Sullivan family farm is located.   Hannah spent many happy days at the farm ... hunting, riding 4-wheelers, and just hanging out with her cousins. Occasionally, we would stop at that cemetery and visit the graves of her great grandparents and other relatives. She always loved to walk around and read all the different headstones. It's a beautiful country cemetery, on a hillside with lots of trees and a gorgeous view. We knew that was the right place.

Th...

Hannah's life was celebrated at First Baptist Church in Hot Springs on this date sixteen years ago.   We had two goals for the service -- to honor Hannah's life and to point people to Jesus.

I remember stepping into the church building feeling so very raw and exposed.  Even though Hannah's death was not a surprise, it was a shock, and I was very much still reeling from effects of that shock.  Walking down that long aisle to be seated in the front row was an incredibly surreal experience. 

Thank you for joining me for anot...

As I've been looking back through all the emails passing back and forth between the newspaper, our friends and family, the church staff, etc., that went on in those days immediately following Hannah's homegoing, I'm struck by how "together" I appeared to be.  My communication skills were intact and I was generally coherent, but I remember none of it.

Thank you for joining me for another bonus episode of the While We're Waiting podcast in this year-long series in which I share our family’s experiences as our teenage daughter Hannah battled glioblastoma brain cancer from February 2008 thr...

Most families don't have the opportunity to prepare for their child's death the way we did.  We had known for a year that Hannah's cancer could be fatal, and even though we prayed earnestly for earthly healing, we knew from the beginning that God may choose to heal her in Heaven.  And, of course, we eventually reached the point where we knew her death was a certainty unless He dramatically intervened. 

So in the final days of her life, we frequently discussed what her actual passing might be like.  We'd been assured that it would be peaceful endi...

Today's episode is a continuation of my conversation with Erik and Susan Totera about their daughter Reilly, an amazing young woman with a strong entrepreneurial spirit, who went to Heaven a little over two years ago.  Today, they share how they are navigating the waves of grief, how their perspectives have shifted, and how they continue to find strength from the Lord in the face of sorrow. They remind us that while grief is heavy, it does not have to be carried alone.  Lean in and be encouraged.  

Click HERE to listen to Part One of my con...

I woke with a start sixteen years ago today.  I had slept for several hours without interruption, which had not happened in a long time.  It scared me, and I immediately jumped up to check on Hannah.  She had slept all night, and was still sleeping.  She looked different somehow; better, in fact.  She was sleeping in a more naturally relaxed position and her color seemed to be improved.  Brad came into the room about that time (he and Bethany were staying in a room right next door) and he also thought she seemed better ... 

Thank you for joi...

The entire time we were at the hospice center had a distinct air of unreality.  The fact that we had reached the point where we were re-living the anniversaries of the events which had brought us to this place just added to that sense of illusion.  Surely this wasn't happening to our family.  Surely this was all some kind of crazy dream.  Surely Hannah was going to be fine. 

But no ... there we were, in a hospice center with our 17-year-old daughter whose grasp on this life was becoming more tenuous. 

Thank you for joining me for...

It's a very surreal thing to write an obituary for your own child.  It's even more surreal when your child is sitting beside you as you write it.

After Hannah's doctor confirmed that there was nothing else medically that could be done for her and that unless God intervened in a miraculous way she would be going to Heaven soon, I decided to begin making preparations for her funeral.  If you know me you know I'm a planner by nature, so this was not unusual although the situation certainly was.  I was afraid that once Hannah left for...

It’s one of the most ancient of all questions, “Why does a good God allow people to suffer in this world?  I discuss three options in my email from sixteen years ago today.  

Thank you for joining me for another bonus episode of the While We're Waiting podcast in this year-long series in which I share our family’s experiences as our teenage daughter Hannah battled glioblastoma brain cancer from February 2008 through February 2009.  My desire is to process through the events of those twelve months with the perspective that 16 years has brought … and point listeners to hope in Jesu...

On this day sixteen years ago, Hannah received two surprise phone calls, both from well-known musicians who had played a significant role in her life.  Each of them spoke words of encouragement and and gave us special memories with Hannah that we will always treasure.  

Thank you for joining me for another bonus episode of the While We're Waiting podcast in this year-long series in which I share our family’s experiences as our teenage daughter Hannah battled glioblastoma brain cancer from February 2008 through February 2009.  My desire is to process through the events of those twelve months with...

Many people came to visit us when we were in the hospice center, but only a few actually got to see Hannah during that time. She was never one to like a lot of attention even before she got sick, and I knew she would not be comfortable with visitors, especially in her condition.  We wanted to protect her dignity as much as possible; therefore, only the people we knew she would really want to see were allowed in.  Three of her best friends from elementary school were included in that group. 

Thank you for joining me for...

You may recall that on Hannah's last day at Children's Hospital before we moved to hospice, some dear friends brought us a box of Krispy Kreme doughnuts. Hannah ate a couple bites of one, but let us know with her limited communication skills that it wasn't as good as a spudnut.  Now, if you're wondering what in the world a "spudnut" is, let me fill you in. In El Dorado, Arkansas, there is a little hole in the wall called the Spudnut Shoppe, where they make the most delicious doughnuts in the world. I am told that they are m...

Today, I have the privilege of speaking with Erik and Susan Totera, who I met when they attended one of our While We're Waiting Weekends in eastern Tennessee.  They join me to share the story of their own personal testimony of second chances, as well as the story of their daughter Reilly ... a remarkable young woman who was blessed with creativity and an entrepreneurial spirit ... and we discuss how their faith is carrying them through her sudden and unexpected death. Their journey is a testament to God's presence in times of deep sorrow and His promise of eternal life, a...