While We're Waiting® - Hope After Child Loss

Welcome to Episode #254, which is a continuation of my conversation with Michael and Peggy Mages. In our last episode, we were introduced to their son Mason—a bold, kindhearted, and faith-filled young man—and the tragic day they lost him in a drowning incident.

In this second half, Michael and Peggy open up about life in the aftermath of loss. They share advice for newly bereaved parents, reflect on how grief has changed their marriage, their parenting, and their walk with the Lord, and offer insight into what it means to persevere in faith when the pain does...

Today, I’m honored to welcome Michael and Peggy Mages to the podcast to share the story of their son, Mason—a deeply thoughtful young man often referred to as an "old soul", who loved everything John Deere and Star Wars, was always prepared with a pair of pliers, and displayed confidence in exactly who God created him to be.

In this first half of our conversation, you’ll hear about Mason’s unique personality, the impact he had on those around him, and the day that changed everything—the drowning incident that placed Mason into the arms of Je...

In Part Two of this powerful conversation, Brad and Karen Nadolson continue sharing the story of their daughter Bethany—this time focusing on how life has unfolded in the wake of her homegoing.

With honesty and grace, they talk about walking through the earliest days of grief, how their relationship with God has deepened, and the ways they've learned to honor Bethany’s life while continuing to live with purpose and hope. They speak about how grief affects marriage, how they’ve navigated holidays, and what it means to truly see the good even when your heart is bro...

In this first part of a two-part conversation, Brad and Karen Nadolson share the story of their daughter Bethany—a vibrant, faith-filled young woman whose life was defined by compassion, courage, and an unwavering desire to serve others.

Listeners will get to know Bethany through her parents’ eyes—from her love of travel and missions, to her selfless work with children in Haiti, to her brave fight with cancer. Through every chapter of her life, Bethany chose to see the good, a motto that shaped how she lived and how she faced unimaginable challenges.

Brad and Ka...

Welcome to Episode #250, which is a continuation of my conversation with Brian and Danna Mayhall.  Their daughter Amelia went to Heaven in July of 2013 after sustaining a devastating brain injury due to a woman’s deliberate decision to drive the wrong way down the freeway. In last week’s episode, we came to know Amelia’s beautiful and compassionate spirit and the painful circumstances surrounding her death.  

Today, we continue that conversation by stepping into some of the most tender parts of the Mayhall's grief journey—walking through forgiveness, learning how grief evolves over time, and discovering how hope c...

I was honored to sit down with Brian and Danna Mayhall recently, who joined me to share the story of their daughter, Amelia—a young woman whose life was characterized by kindness and compassion.   

Amelia sustained a devastating injury after a woman made a deliberate choice to drive the wrong way down the freeway and crashed into her car.  In today’s episode, you’ll hear about the months Amelia lived beyond the crash, the tender loving care given by her parents, and her ultimate homegoing in July of 2013.  

You’ll also hear how the Mayhalls hav...

Last week I introduced you to my friend Jeannie Williams, and we heard the story of her precocious and compassionate 11-year-old son Jeffrey, who died from carbon monoxide poisoning in a hotel room in 2013, an incident that left her with permanent after-effects as well.  

In today's episode, Jeannie shares how grief has impacted her relationships with others, the challenges of finding a new identity after child loss, and the advice she would offer to newly bereaved parents. We also discuss the dangers of carbon monoxide poisoning—what she has learned from her own experience and the precautions she...

Today, I have the privilege of introducing you to Jeannie Williams, a mother, wife, and "retired" homeschool teacher, whose life took an unimaginable turn in June of 2013.  

Jeannie will share the story of her son, Jeffrey—his kind heart, his love for reading and Lego (with no “S”), and the joy he brought to those around him. She’ll also open up about the tragedy that took place in a hotel room one summer night and the journey of grief, faith, and healing she has walked ever since. I believe you will be comforted and inspired by our conve...

Thank you for joining me for the final bonus episode in this series in which I’ve been sharing our family’s experiences in the last year of our daughter Hannah’s life, which spanned from February 2008 through February 2009.  I’ll be completing the series today with a wrap-up about the ministry which developed out of Hannah’s homegoing.   As always, my desire is to give glory to God and point listeners to hope in Jesus along the way.  I’m so grateful you’ve joined me over this past year … Your listens and your kind comments have been a blessing to my he...

A friend of ours got us connected with an architect who donated his time and drew up a plan for our dream retreat center.  The facility would incorporate the existing house, adding a large dining room, a commercial kitchen, and ten private guest rooms, each with its own bathroom.  No more bunk beds with creaky plastic mattresses or shared bathrooms!  This gentleman created a beautiful concept drawing and presented it to us one snowy Sunday afternoon.  Then he told us the estimated cost ... One MILLION dollars!  We had $3,000 in our While We're Waiting bank account.  

Thank you for jo...

For three years, we had wonderful bereaved-parent retreats at Family Farm.  As awareness began to grow about the ministry via word-of-mouth, internet searches, and our Facebook presence, our waiting lists also began to grow.  Even with adding more retreat dates at other locations, we could no longer keep up with the demand for these events.

And as wonderful as Family Farm is, it was not an ideal location for the types of retreats we were hosting.  After all, it was a children's camp ... complete with bunk rooms filled with bunk beds.  Definitely not ideal for a grieving pare...

Last week, we heard the story of Nanette's beautiful daughter Katie’s life and the day everything changed for their family. Today, we continue our conversation, diving into what life has been like in the years since that time. Nanette shares the scriptures that became her anchor, the importance of sound theology, the challenges of navigating sibling grief, and how she's learned to trust the nail-scarred hands. If you’re wondering how to find hope after devastating loss, this episode is for you.

Click HERE to listen to Part One of my conversation with Nanette.

Clic...

That first bereaved-parent retreat in April of 2011 turned out to be above and beyond all we could have ever asked or imagined.  We knew from our experience at the Respite Retreat what God could do when a group of like-minded bereaved parents got together ... but this first While We're Waiting Weekend was such a sweet confirmation of what we believed God was calling us to do.

Buoyed by the success of this first event, we quickly scheduled our next retreat for November of 2011.  And you know what?  That retreat almost didn't "make." 

Thank you for join...

Over the next few months, we met frequently to discuss plans and pray about our upcoming retreat for bereaved parents.  Several times we drove out to Family Farm and included Stan and Donna May in our planning meetings.

Thank you for joining me for another bonus episode in this series in which I’ve been sharing our family’s experiences in the last year of our daughter Hannah’s life, which spanned from February 2008 through February 2009.  This series would not be complete without a discussion of the ministry which developed out of Hannah’s homegoing.  If you’ll indulge me...

Brad and I returned home from the Respite Retreat still basking in the glow of the new relationships we'd formed, the things we'd learned from spending time with other bereaved parents, and a renewed hope that it was still possible to have joy in life in spite of our great loss. 

We had a strong sense that God was calling us into a similar type ministry for those who had lost children, but we had no idea how to move forward with it.  We talked about it a lot, and we sought God's direction, but we just di...

Even though I didn't really want to go, and this thing was way outside my comfort zone, Brad and I signed up for the Respite Retreat scheduled for Labor Day Weekend in September of 2010.  We couldn't have known at the time what a profound impact it would have on our lives.  

Thank you for joining me for another bonus episode in this series in which I’ve been sharing our family’s experiences in the last year of our daughter Hannah’s life, which spanned from February 2008 through February 2009.  This series would not be complete without a discussion...

During the final days of Hannah's life, many people dropped by the hospice center and left books, gifts, food, and other items for our family.  These kindnesses were so greatly appreciated.

Most of these gifts were accompanied by a card indicating who had given them.  But one gift, a book called "Holding On To Hope" by Nancy Guthrie, was accompanied by a card signed only with the initials "plc".  The anonymous person who brought that gift could not have foreseen what an impact it would have in our lives. 

Thank you for join...

Thank you for joining me for another bonus episode in this series in which I’ve been sharing our family’s experiences in the last year of our daughter Hannah’s life, which spanned from February 2008 through February 2009.  This series would not be complete without a discussion of the ministry which developed out of Hannah’s homegoing.  If you’ll indulge me for a few more bonus episodes, I’d like to share how God used Hannah’s storm to birth the While We’re Waiting ministry to bereaved parents.  As always, my desire is to give glory to God and point liste...

Today’s episode features a conversation with my friend Nanette Klinect.  We discuss the beautiful and miraculous story of her daughter Katie’s adoption, the tragic accident that changed everything, and the hard and holy privilege she had to walk her home to Heaven. With honesty, faith, and even a touch of humor, Nanette reflects on grief, healing, and the ways she continues to see God's hand at work in her story.  Lean in and be encouraged.

Click HERE to register or to learn more about the Our Hearts Are Home conference coming up in Lynchburg, Virginia, in Apr...

There never really was any question where Hannah's body would be buried.  There's a beautiful cemetery in Briggsville, Arkansas, where the Sullivan family farm is located.   Hannah spent many happy days at the farm ... hunting, riding 4-wheelers, and just hanging out with her cousins. Occasionally, we would stop at that cemetery and visit the graves of her great grandparents and other relatives. She always loved to walk around and read all the different headstones. It's a beautiful country cemetery, on a hillside with lots of trees and a gorgeous view. We knew that was the right place.

Th...

Hannah's life was celebrated at First Baptist Church in Hot Springs on this date sixteen years ago.   We had two goals for the service -- to honor Hannah's life and to point people to Jesus.

I remember stepping into the church building feeling so very raw and exposed.  Even though Hannah's death was not a surprise, it was a shock, and I was very much still reeling from effects of that shock.  Walking down that long aisle to be seated in the front row was an incredibly surreal experience. 

Thank you for joining me for anot...

As I've been looking back through all the emails passing back and forth between the newspaper, our friends and family, the church staff, etc., that went on in those days immediately following Hannah's homegoing, I'm struck by how "together" I appeared to be.  My communication skills were intact and I was generally coherent, but I remember none of it.

Thank you for joining me for another bonus episode of the While We're Waiting podcast in this year-long series in which I share our family’s experiences as our teenage daughter Hannah battled glioblastoma brain cancer from February 2008 thr...

Most families don't have the opportunity to prepare for their child's death the way we did.  We had known for a year that Hannah's cancer could be fatal, and even though we prayed earnestly for earthly healing, we knew from the beginning that God may choose to heal her in Heaven.  And, of course, we eventually reached the point where we knew her death was a certainty unless He dramatically intervened. 

So in the final days of her life, we frequently discussed what her actual passing might be like.  We'd been assured that it would be peaceful endi...

Today's episode is a continuation of my conversation with Erik and Susan Totera about their daughter Reilly, an amazing young woman with a strong entrepreneurial spirit, who went to Heaven a little over two years ago.  Today, they share how they are navigating the waves of grief, how their perspectives have shifted, and how they continue to find strength from the Lord in the face of sorrow. They remind us that while grief is heavy, it does not have to be carried alone.  Lean in and be encouraged.  

Click HERE to listen to Part One of my con...

I woke with a start sixteen years ago today.  I had slept for several hours without interruption, which had not happened in a long time.  It scared me, and I immediately jumped up to check on Hannah.  She had slept all night, and was still sleeping.  She looked different somehow; better, in fact.  She was sleeping in a more naturally relaxed position and her color seemed to be improved.  Brad came into the room about that time (he and Bethany were staying in a room right next door) and he also thought she seemed better ... 

Thank you for joi...

The entire time we were at the hospice center had a distinct air of unreality.  The fact that we had reached the point where we were re-living the anniversaries of the events which had brought us to this place just added to that sense of illusion.  Surely this wasn't happening to our family.  Surely this was all some kind of crazy dream.  Surely Hannah was going to be fine. 

But no ... there we were, in a hospice center with our 17-year-old daughter whose grasp on this life was becoming more tenuous. 

Thank you for joining me for...

It's a very surreal thing to write an obituary for your own child.  It's even more surreal when your child is sitting beside you as you write it.

After Hannah's doctor confirmed that there was nothing else medically that could be done for her and that unless God intervened in a miraculous way she would be going to Heaven soon, I decided to begin making preparations for her funeral.  If you know me you know I'm a planner by nature, so this was not unusual although the situation certainly was.  I was afraid that once Hannah left for...

It’s one of the most ancient of all questions, “Why does a good God allow people to suffer in this world?  I discuss three options in my email from sixteen years ago today.  

Thank you for joining me for another bonus episode of the While We're Waiting podcast in this year-long series in which I share our family’s experiences as our teenage daughter Hannah battled glioblastoma brain cancer from February 2008 through February 2009.  My desire is to process through the events of those twelve months with the perspective that 16 years has brought … and point listeners to hope in Jesu...

On this day sixteen years ago, Hannah received two surprise phone calls, both from well-known musicians who had played a significant role in her life.  Each of them spoke words of encouragement and and gave us special memories with Hannah that we will always treasure.  

Thank you for joining me for another bonus episode of the While We're Waiting podcast in this year-long series in which I share our family’s experiences as our teenage daughter Hannah battled glioblastoma brain cancer from February 2008 through February 2009.  My desire is to process through the events of those twelve months with...

Many people came to visit us when we were in the hospice center, but only a few actually got to see Hannah during that time. She was never one to like a lot of attention even before she got sick, and I knew she would not be comfortable with visitors, especially in her condition.  We wanted to protect her dignity as much as possible; therefore, only the people we knew she would really want to see were allowed in.  Three of her best friends from elementary school were included in that group. 

Thank you for joining me for...

You may recall that on Hannah's last day at Children's Hospital before we moved to hospice, some dear friends brought us a box of Krispy Kreme doughnuts. Hannah ate a couple bites of one, but let us know with her limited communication skills that it wasn't as good as a spudnut.  Now, if you're wondering what in the world a "spudnut" is, let me fill you in. In El Dorado, Arkansas, there is a little hole in the wall called the Spudnut Shoppe, where they make the most delicious doughnuts in the world. I am told that they are m...

Today, I have the privilege of speaking with Erik and Susan Totera, who I met when they attended one of our While We're Waiting Weekends in eastern Tennessee.  They join me to share the story of their own personal testimony of second chances, as well as the story of their daughter Reilly ... a remarkable young woman who was blessed with creativity and an entrepreneurial spirit ... and we discuss how their faith is carrying them through her sudden and unexpected death. Their journey is a testament to God's presence in times of deep sorrow and His promise of eternal life, a...

I'm not gonna lie ... When we got to the hospice center and found out there was no wifi, I may have freaked out just a little. The emails and messages we received daily from so many wonderful people had become such a part of our lifeline it was hard to imagine being cut off from them.  And writing my daily emails was actually playing a role in keeping me sane.  Leaving Hannah's side to go to Starbucks for wifi access was just not going to work.

Thank you for joining me for another bonus episode of the Wh...

Brad and I moved a lot during the early years of our marriage ... College, graduate school, first job, second job, etc.  Even after the girls were born, we continued to move frequently.  Moving is always stressful, yet there's usually excitement involved too ... a new house, new neighborhood, new friends.  We were used to moving and all that came along with it.  But today we faced an entirely different kind of move ... Moving Hannah from Arkansas Children's Hospital to a hospice center across town.

Thank you for joining me for another bonus episode of the While We're Waiting podc...

This day began with Hannah nibbling a Krispy Kreme doughnut and ended with us making decisions about how we wanted to spend our final days with her.  

Thank you for joining me for another bonus episode of the While We're Waiting podcast in this year-long series in which I share our family’s experiences as our teenage daughter Hannah battled glioblastoma brain cancer from February 2008 through February 2009.  My desire is to process through the events of those twelve months with the perspective that 16 years has brought … and point listeners to hope in Jesus along the way.

**WARNING** - This post is fairly graphic and could be upsetting to some.  If you are sensitive to discussions of blood, you may wish to skip it.  

On this date sixteen years ago today, we found ourselves racing to Arkansas Children's Hospital emergency room in the wee hours of the morning.  Hannah's low platelet levels were the culprit, and after a brief stay in the emergency room, we were admitted.  Surprisingly, her doctors decided to go ahead with the MRI, even with all of this going on.  The results were reviewed with us that afternoon and they were...

It was Valentine's Day.  Exactly one year had passed since Hannah had shown the first symptoms of the brain tumor which was now slowly taking her life.  It had been a roller-coaster year full of MRIs, needle sticks, radiation treatments, chemotherapy, hair loss, platelet infusions, and hospital stays.  We had watched our daughter go from a vibrant, healthy 16-year-old with high academic aspirations to a weak, nearly-blind 17-year-old with the mind of an old woman with Alzheimer's.   But in spite of the physical and mental changes cancer had wrought, it had not stolen her sweet spirit.

Thank you...

It was Friday, and time for the junior high Valentine dance, and even though Bethany had been out of school since Tuesday, she had made plans to attend.  Since Brad was available to be home with Hannah, I was able to spend the day with her.  We already had her dress, and I enjoyed taking her to get her hair and make-up done that afternoon at my regular salon.  She had plans to ride to the dance with a group of friends, so I figured once we got her all beautiful, she would head out for the evening and I w...

Today's episode is a continuation of my conversation with Shawn and Sandy Smith about their son Andrew—a joy-filled boy with a love for music—who went to heaven in 2009 after a courageous battle with DIPG. 

Today, we look at what life has been like over the sixteen years since Andrew went home to Jesus.  In this episode, Shawn and Sandy open up about how they’ve learned to carry their loss, what has brought them comfort, and how their faith has deepened in ways they never expected.

We’ll talk about the struggles and the hope...

During our clinic appointment sixteen years ago today, we had the opportunity to chat with Hannah's oncologist while she received her requisite platelet infusion.  She was scheduled for an MRI on Monday, which would tell us a lot about what the future might hold.  Her doctor was very honest with us, explaining that he believed the results would indicate progression of the cancer.  He went on to say that if that was indeed the case, there was very little, if anything, that could be done for her medically from this point on. 

Thank you for joining me for...