Skeleton House - Video Game Let's Plays

"Oh boy, the one year anniversary of my Hey You! Pikachu FAQ! Today is going to be the best day ever!"

Temporary placeholder link until I get Bluegreener's episode in here, Do the Bartman

Alright, here's the real one. 

Oh whoops, frick, here is Bluegreener's Wikigacha episode.

The 'Get Me Out of This Game' levels are rising at a precipitous rate.

Firing artillery at you for the bit.

Starting to realize I may not be the target demographic for this video game, a feeling I have never felt before as a 32-year old white man.

I need to start an 'attacked by a shadow demon' counter.

https://www.twitch.tv/skeletonhouse be there or be frickin' you know the rest kid

I gotta be almost done the tutorial right? I'm sure by next week we'll be catching and battling all sorts of mystical and magical creatures. For sure. 

For sure.

Seaman son or Lifeline daughter?

Ironically my internet is currently out so I'm uploading this from my telephone. That's irony right? Because we all know what lives on the internet.

crimstmas

I feel like you can get XCOM: Enemy Unknown, with the Enemy Within expansion pack, for like $3 during a Steam sale.

Usually the 'X Simulator' episode title thing I do is a bit tongue-in-cheek, but, like, c'mon.

I did not realize how good I was at foreshadowing until I listened to this again while editing.

Really shoulda played this before the end of December to pad out my 'games launched' stat on the Steam Replay.

loverboy_working_for_the_weekend_mp3.bat

I would make such a good crisis dispatch operator, do you hear how calm under pressure I am? Maybe not the best at, y'know, parsing information or whatever, but that's probably like half as important.

I dunno man, ants? Probably ants. 

I left the first email in solely to embarrass past me, freakin' dork.

When you sink a series of shots in pool do they call it 'draining your balls?' 

If so they should cease, posthaste.

The next person that tells me to hurry up is getting a boba straw in the eyeball.

Thank you operators.

"Oh my God! JC! A bomb!" 

"A bomb!"

*hacker voice* I'm in

Truly one of the greatest boss fights in the canon of video games. Sit down Virgil 3. Go get a snack Giygas. Ornstein and Smough? More like Ornstein and No. 

I think that rhymes, but I guess I don't really know for sure.

It is a very unique idea to have your jump scare sound be the quietest noise in the video game.

When in doubt, hit 'em where it hurts (genitals).

Iggy's Reckin' Balls alien makes a noise that sounds identical to one of my mouth clicks, but I can assure you with the utmost certainty that it is coming from the game track and not my mic track.

Also it has come to my attention the character Jonathan Turner was from Boy Meets World, not Home Improvement. Sorry Posty.

It's a fake job simulator and one of them spooky Spot the Difference games, how could I not play this?

Communication is a two-way street. Unfortunately me and Rio are both jaywalking directly in front of traffic.

It is very funny that the solution to the puzzle is found by issuing a command, getting told that your command did nothing to advance the situation, issuing the command again, once again getting told in the exact same way that your command did nothing to advance the situation, and then issuing the command a third time, where it does actually do something to advance the situation. Game design.

👅 💪 🦵 🦷 🫀 🧠 🧠 🧠 🦶

Alright, so the volume on the game track ranges from +3.7dB in rooms that don't have extremely loud hums or buzzes or crackles in them (very few), to -10.3dB every time there's a fight. And also for one specific door opening extremely loudly. 

Also used: -0.8dB, -1.1dB, -1.4dB, -1.7dB -2.4dB, -3.1dB, -3.5dB, -4.8dB, -6.2dB, -8.7dB, +1.0dB, +1.2dB, +2.5dB 

And the furtive +/-0.0dB, so easily forgotten.

 ORDINAL NUMBER->OBJECT->RELATIVE DIRECTION  

 ORDINAL NUMBER->OBJECT->RELATIVE DIRECTION  

 ORDINAL NUMBER->OBJECT->RELATIVE DIRECTION  

I would like to take this moment to apologize to Rio for some of the rude things that I have said to her. Not all of them, because c'mon, but at least a couple. 

Also the word I was thinking of was 'bequeathed.'

I want to say I don't get stuck on trying to describe a mundane object for several minutes again, but sometimes we can't all get what we want. And I especially can't get Rio to look at any sort of stationery related object.

Probably a good 25% of this episode is me and Rio staring at a vending machine and getting annoyed with each other. I have been told first impressions are very important, and for my sake I hope that was a lie. Also I think when referring to someone and yourself you're supposed to put their name first as a sign of respect, but alas.

Thank you for visiting the laboratory of Dr. Jean Paul Gassé. 

You did a good job.

I was eating steamed broccoli during a thunderstorm while editing a good chunk of this, and Jess just brought home some carrot cake muffins let's go dude

Finally we get to the important topics, video games and bad film CGI.

Call me Steven the way this save file got me strange