The Aquaboy Podcast

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Lets just say...the Aquaboys love Police Squad!  Ok...

"THE AQUABOYS LOVE POLICE SQUAD!"

Still soaking up every glorious second of this masterpiece, the Aquaboys remain in awe of just how brilliant—and ridiculously ahead of its time—Police Squad! truly was.  In between gushing over this spectacular show, they also manage to sneak in a legal disclaimer, some international travel chatter, and a well-deserved celebration of one of their own.  Lets just say, that overall it's a pretty good show.  Ok...

"OVERALL IT'S A PRETTY GOOD SHOW"

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(Recorded Live at Gus’s World-Famous Fried Chicken)
The Aquaboys return to their home-away-from-home: Gus’s Fried Chicken on Magnolia! How in the world did they get invited back after last year’s debacle? Let’s just say Aquaboy Nation demanded it!

In this episode, the boys discuss Police Squad!, one of the greatest shows they’ve ever watched. They also exchange their Secret Santa gifts, Tony shares a fascinating piece of art history, and Chad—well, Chad discovers a brand-new fetish.

Happy Holidays!

Special thanks to Cub and t...

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The brilliance of Police Squad! is impossible to overstate! The Aquaboys are still reveling in this classic from the ‘80s. We loved it so much, we celebrated by taking a break from recording for a few months. But we *promise to get back to a more regular schedule from now on.

Veteran newman Tony hosts his segment, Celebrity Highlights and Onscreen Wonders Bulletin Express. In the subsegment Totally Worth Attention Television, we all share recommendations for shows we’re watching (besides Police Squad!). Tune in and, who knows, you might even lear...

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The Aquaboys celebrate their 50th episode by watching something good for a change.  ‘Police Squad!’ goes down so damn easy, especially after all the absolute garbage the Aquaboys have endured the past few episodes.   Police Squad!  not only continues our streak of shows that end in an exclamation mark, but it also establishes itself as one of the very best episodes of television we’ve watched since our little podcast started 4 years and 3 months ago. 

 Spoiler:  We didn’t record at Panchos Mexican Buffett.   Sorry Jason.

 
Police Squad! is an American t...

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The Aquaboys found the first episode of Voyagers! surprisingly enjoyable.  It’s one of the few times a show was voted unanimously to renew by all 4 broadcast professionals.  Did the love-fest carry over to Episode #2?  Well folks....the very inconsistent rules of time travel and the suspiciously educational tone might have something to say about that.

Meanwhile, Tony unveils some truly inspired art, the Aquaboys try to solve the mystery of Warm Blow and we completely forget to do a whole segment.    We’re pros!!! 

Voyagers! is an America...

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(Recorded Live at WinStar World Casino & Resort)
Once again, the Aquaboys hit the road for a live broadcast at WinStar World Casino in Thackerville, Oklahoma. It has been so long since the Aquaboys last broadcast that a seasoned listener will be able to tell it takes us about 20 minutes (and several cocktails, THANK YOU WINSTAR) to get back into the swing of things. Luckily, the big wheel blessed us with a halfway decent show to talk about. When held up against the pantheon of shows the Aquaboys have tackled over the years, ‘Vo...

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Despite navigating a huge upheaval to the line-up, the Aquaboys manage to tackle yet another karate-kick-to-the-nuts episode of Thunder in Paradise.  Recently back from the front lines, Special Correspondent Lane takes a spin in the color commentary seat.  And after years of understated positioning statements, corporate espionage, and several large-scale assassination attempts Jason “The Smartest Aquaboy” ™ has finally removed Tony from the co-host seat.   

How could anyone broadcast under these kinds of conditions?  Will all this turmoil AND a terrible show finally end season 1?   Strap on your earbuds and find out.  
 
 (N...

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Never has a single television show been so shockingly horrendous that it forced the Aquaboys to wrestle with the fundamental nature of their existence. To wander blindfolded on the event horizon between a peaceful human life and reality-bending, cosmic-scale horror. "Thunder in Paradise" exists outside of any currently understood dimension, enthusiastically twisting the will, nay, the very life force of the viewer into an impenetrable and unsolvable emotional labyrinth. Listener, let this be a warning to you. If you continue on, you will bear witness to the power of "Thunder in Paradise" and...

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As the Aquaboys embark on 2024, they simply can't think of a better way to kick off another year of television torture than by diving headlong into this prime example of early '90s Hulk Hogan-centric silliness. Do they manage to find the makings of a decent show among the wrestler cameos, absurd dialogue, rampant bikini filler, and piss-poor acting? That's for you, the listener, to discover.  All that, AND we take a deep dive into cults, crosswalks, and the life and legacy of microphone #3.

Thunder in Paradise is an American action-adventure T...

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(Recorded Live at Gus’s World-Famous Fried Chicken)
This episode is chuck full of Aquaboy firsts!  The Aquaboys record their first live show at their home-away-from-home, Gus’s Fried Chicken on Magnolia.  Also, for the first time in the history of the show, the Aquaboys voted to renew Manimal an unprecedented fifth time.  Why have they bestowed this honor on such a terrible show?  That’s for you the listener to discover.  But to help ease the pain of this god-awful show, the boys share their Secret Santa gifts with each other, Tony hosts...

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The Aquaboys are back, and now 100% of the crew has reasonably acceptable vocal ability.  The boys continue their slog through Manimal, and now it’s starting to feel like actual work.  On the plus side, this episode features considerably less warehouses.  On the downside, we’re still watching Manimal.   For those of you who prefer the banter versus actual show discussion, the new segment ‘Celebrity Highlights and Onscreen Wonders Bulletin Express’ makes a second appearance and solidifies itself as the place honest hard-working Americans go for breaking news on entertainment, pop culture, and...

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Faithful Aquaboy listener…there is good news and bad news to share.  First the good news…the Aquaboys have returned after a long medical-related hiatus.  The bad news…they are still watching this downright terrible show, Manimal.  New off-screen animal transformations, a tropical paradise setting, needlessly over-complicated puzzles, and deep state espionage are not enough to keep this mess from appealing to even the most merciful of viewers.  If you listen close, you'll notice the Aquaboys are losing interest fast.   But will they renew??  

Manimal is an American superhero television series created by Gle...

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The Aquaboys are beginning to realize why Manimal comes with such a dubious reputation.  Even with a retooled exposition-filled intro, this show still bewilders even the most attentive viewer.  Loads and loads of filler, off-putting transformations, unnecessarily complicated smuggling plans, father-son hawk trapping and vastly overpowered birds all contribute to complicated feelings about this show.  There is a very good chance this is all leading to a very heated ‘Cancel or Renew’ debate.     Also, one of the Aquaboys debuts a brand-new segment!!  
  
Manimal is an American superhero television series created by Glen A. Larso...

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Manimal might be the most famous (or infamous) of the shows the Aquaboys have watched so far.  Its celebrity status as terrible TV seems built on a couple giant ideas that were executed hilariously bad.   Maybe the producers thought the killer effects would carry the show?  Did bubble forehead, felt cat paw, and tamed cobras impress the Aquaboys enough to renew this legendary train wreck?   Listen and find out for yourself.  
Manimal is an American superhero television series created by Glen A. Larson and Donald R. Boyle, it ran on NBC from Septe...

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They thought they were all done with Matthew Star.  But no.  Not at all. The big wheel had other plans for the Aquaboys that day.  The big wheel smiled ever-so slightly as it knew it was about to make them watch this turd of a show once again.  The wheel knew the Aquaboys needed to experience television history’s only attempt at making paint a compelling plot device.  

Yes, paint. 

The big wheel knew it would test them.  The big wheel knew it would put their resilience, stamina, and sanity to...

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This week the Aquaboys welcome Special Correspondent Lane back to the show!  We didn’t necessarily roll out the welcome mat by making SCL watch this pitiful excuse for a TV show. (Even by early 80’s standards) The Powers of Matthew Star somehow manages to take all the fun out of watching bad TV.  Maybe that’s one of his multiple (?) powers?   

But let this be a warning to you, intrepid listener.   Every once in a great while, if you make too much fun of a show…the show finds a way to retali...

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The Aquaboys experience another heck-of-a-ride as we attempt to parse this incomprehensible show.  This week, Matthew Star helps us to better understand the military-like efficiency of the US judicial system, the corrupt nature of the recording industry, and the vastly under-reported dangers of passenger van customization.  All that and a kindhearted nuanced discussion of the pros and cons of cannibalism. 

Remember.  Trust the system.

The Powers of Matthew Star is an American sci-fi television series that aired on NBC on Friday evenings from September 17, 1982 until April 8, 1983. It starred Peter Bart...

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Fitting that The Powers of Matthew Star is about fighting to save an alien race.  Because for the first half of the show, the Aquaboys ponder the impacts of ChatGPT, and if we should prepare to fight for humanity’s survival.  After being seriously creeped out, we get our shit together and discuss this AMAZING show.   Will we cancel or renew?  Is ChatGPT a more superior form of Aquaboy?  Start the show and find out! 

And always remember - - "Stay Dry, Aquaboys fan(s)". 

The Powers of Matthew Star is a...

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The Aquaboys end another year of broadcast excellence with an episode for the ages!!   We return to the medieval realm of Aperans, for yet another blissful romp through Wizards and Warriors.  We stop down and take a moment of valuable airtime to celebrate the life of one of our own.  We take a deep insightful dive into the world of furry culture.  All that AND about as much sacrilege as you can handle.   You’re welcome Aquaboy Nation.

Wizards and Warriors is an American comedy adventure fantasy series that aired on CBS fro...

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50% of the professional broadcasters on the Aquaboy Podcast display their unending dedication to the show by (once again) watching the wrong episode.   I mean seriously, how is that even possible?  Maybe they couldn't find time to get it right in the two full months since we recorded last?  As a result, their mistake makes an already painful watch even more confusing and hard to digest.   Despite all the headwinds, do we elect to remain in the fantastical medieval realm of Aperans for yet another episode?  Listen and find out.    (Note: If you happen to be a...

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Big news!  All four Aquaboys actually watched the right episode this time.  No spoilers, but 75% of the show is 100% in love with Wizards and Warriors.  No amount of outlandish haircuts, zero exposition, colossal plot holes, painful dialog or abundant grooming can keep us from having a great time watching this show.  

Wizards and Warriors is an American comedy adventure fantasy series that aired on CBS from February 26 to May 14, 1983. Starring Jeff Conaway, Julia Duffy, Walter Olkewicz, Duncan Regehr, and Clive Revill. Eight one-hour episodes were made. The series was created by Don...

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The Aquaboys celebrate their first remote broadcast!  Sort-of.  We set up shop in the luxury accommodations of ‘studio-west’ and try our hardest to dissect this puzzling-bit of 80’s television.   ‘Wizards and Warriors’ isn’t at all what we were expecting, but that isn’t necessarily a good thing.  Nobody expected it to be a comedy - - and after episode 1, I think we all wish it wasn’t.   Either way, this episode is a wild ride.   Fair warning intrepid listener…stay alert for a classic Chad screw-up, less pee talk, and a vanishing Tony.  

Wizards...

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The Aquaboys can’t put their finger on it, but something just isn’t right with “The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr.”.  Its not that it’s a bad show…Bruce Campbell is amazing as always, the sci-fi element is interesting, and the writing is pretty great.   For whatever reason it just doesn’t land.  But with some very intense lobbying by Jason and Tony, will it get renewed?   We shall see.

Also, we talk a lot about pee.

The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr., often referred to as just Brisco or Bri...

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It’s clear Cop Rock fatigue is starting to set in.  The Aquaboys spend the better part of this episode trying to find other things to talk about besides the obvious.  Which is strange considering the ‘Baby Merchant’ episode is arguably the most famous of the failed series.  Pushing the envelope of tonal whiplash, this episode frolics effortlessly between topics like child trafficking, weight loss, inmate violence and attorney-client privilege.

Will the Aquaboys vote to renew yet again?  You’ll find out after some pointless banter, a game show, and pot talk.  Buckl...

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The unofficial 5th Aquaboy, Special Correspondent Lane, helps our heroes deftly navigate yet another episode of the directionless (and some would argue pointless) Cop Rock.  The show continues to bewilder our even basic understanding of a police procedural drama.  From a plastic surgery fever dream to mud wrestling marital problems, this episode has it all.  (and we haven’t even mentioned the horseback riding)  There is NO WAY this gets renewed. Right?   

Cop Rock is an American police procedural musical television series created by Steven Bochco and William M. Finkelstein for the Amer...

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Summoning all their combined bravery, courage and subtle attractiveness, the Aquaboys tackle the second episode of the Hinderberg-like police procedural / musical Cop Rock!  The second episode manages to shed just about everything that made the first episode at least palatable.  But lucky for us, it keeps the lack-luster music, unengaging characters and wildly uneven tone.    It’s remarkable that a television show has the power to make you embarrassed for it.   

Cop Rock is an American police procedural musical television series created by Steven Bochco and William M. Finkelstein for the American...

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The Aquaboys finally reunite after a lengthy hiatus to talk about this incredible piece of television failure.  We actually recorded a Cop Rock episode the last week of October 2021, but it was cut short due to Brian coughing up blood (no really.)  Then shortly thereafter, another show was scrapped because Jason got Covid.  On top of all that, just before this recording the Aquabays learned a podcast industry legend had passed.   So in-between the eulogies, neck-kissing and booze we talk a little Cop Rock, but most of this episode is just making up for...

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Our attempted recordings of Cop Rock are almost as confusing as the show itself.   Our first attempt to record a Cop Rock episode was cut short, so this episode ends rather abruptly.   But unlike our second attempt to review Cop Rock (Episode 27), this recording contains quite a bit more about the show itself.  (Like you even care)

 Cop Rock is an American police procedural musical television series created by Steven Bochco and William M. Finkelstein for the American Broadcasting Company. It premiered on September 26, 1990, and broadcast eleven episodes before concluding on Dece...

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What do the Bee Gees,  Las Vegas, sexually deviant cursers and Aretha Franklin have in common?   Hard to say - - but if you found that question confusing then you are in for a hell of a ride with this episode, my friend.  Episode 2 of Automan (not ottoman)  continues to confound the Aquaboys with plot-specific super powers, meandering logic and remarkable amounts of filler.   So yeah, we like it.

Automan is an American superhero television series produced by Glen A. Larson. It aired for 12 episodes (although 13 were made) on ABC between 1983 and 198...

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What is Automan?  A hologram? Sentient AI? Piece of furniture?  The Aquaboys dig deep into this curious piece of early 80’s sci-fi television.  Does it really end up being as big of a Tron rip-off as it seems?  Well, yes.  But it does have some (ok, a few) interesting ideas, a hilariously over-complicated bad guy plan, talking streetlights and cold-blooded holographic murder.   What else could possibly need?  

Automan is an American superhero television series produced by Glen A. Larson. It aired for 12 episodes (although 13 were made) on ABC between 1983 and 1984. It conscious...

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The Aquaboys keep venturing further in the dark and slightly confusing world of this unquestionably classic series.   Episode 3 pours on the noir as we watch a scrappy reporter/detective try to uncover the true identify of our hero.   This episode still leaves the Aquaboys with plenty more questions than answers - - What are his powers exactly?  How does one hand-out mob justice?  Is it safe to smoke at age 8?

The Flash is an American television series developed by the writing team of Danny Bilson and Paul De Meo that...

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The Aquaboys are in love with The Flash.  Wanna know how you can tell?  Episode 2 of this totally wronged series is 30 minutes shorter than the premier, yet we still manage to go over 2 hours (again) consuming every last second of greatness.   We wander here and there -- tackling topics around Flashes actual speed, how to ethically euthanize toads and if The Hulk can properly hang drywall.  Buckle up, buttercup. 

The Flash is an American television series developed by the writing team of Danny Bilson and Paul De Meo that aired...

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The Aquaboy’s don’t care how fast ‘The Flash’ claims to be…we take our sweet time relishing every detail about this extraordinary show.  Sure there are a couple missteps here and there, but overall this might be the highest quality and most-wronged-by-the-network television show we’ve reviewed thus far.  Yes, we get it…the episode is long even by our standards, but its so worth it!   We heart The Flash, abandoned dams and all. 

The Flash is an American television series developed by the writing team of Danny Bilson and Paul De Meo th...

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The Aquaboy’s celebrate their 1st anniversary by tackling their second movie-into-TV series.  But trust us..Ferris Bueller is no Blue Thunder.  This mean-spirited and uninspired hunk of shit might be our toughest conquest yet.  What a slap in the face to John Hughes.  But you never know….this series might get hate-renewed just because the Aquaboys are so unpleasant to each other. 

Ferris Bueller is an American sitcom television series based on the 1986 John Hughes film Ferris Bueller's Day Off. The show stars Charlie Schlatter in the title role. The series debuted on...

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The Aquaboys continue through Homeboys in Outer Space, and it quickly starts to feel like real work.  Even with a couple funny lines here or there, we quickly succumb to the crushing torture that is this show.  Not even a blissful celebration of 4/20 can keep our spirits up.  

Homeboys in Outer Space is an American science fiction/fantasy sitcom that aired on UPN from August 27, 1996 to May 13, 1997. The series stars comedian Flex and Darryl Bell.  The plot centered around two astronauts, Tyberius "Ty" Walker (Flex) and Morris Clay (Bell), who flew arou...

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The Aquaboys make their first trip to the stars and explore the unmitigated disaster of Homeboys in Outer Space.  This marvelous piece of UPN time-slot filler takes huge swings time after time and consistently misses at a level that’s nearly impossible to comprehend.  Too bad that we absolutely love it!  Come for a walk-through of this legendary piece of TV embarrassment, and stay for Tony’s Hindenburg-like ‘last-five-minutes’.  You’ll be glad you did. 

Homeboys in Outer Space is an American science fiction/fantasy sitcom that aired on UPN from August 27, 1996...

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By the grace of the TV gods, Blue Thunder was somehow renewed, much to the chagrin of most of the Aquaboys.   And boy-o-boy are we glad we hung around for Episode 3.  This episode has it all….a flamboyant arms dealer, a fascinating weight-loss subplot, gigantic drones with equally gigantic controls, oddly timed feats of strength, wing-walking, sharp-shooting, spider mating rituals and downright hilarious impressions  - - all of that AND an unconvincing love interest.  Who could ask for anything more?   Ok well…how about a dash of tape-delayed orgasims and a Fast and Furious p...

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All the Aquaboys (except for Brian) begrudgingly watch episode two of Blue Thunder.  Nobody (except for Brian) expected to have as much fun as we did watching this paint-by-numbers man-and-machine 80’s garbage.   While this episode didn’t feature the greatness of PVC, it did feature a bunch of heavily armed redneck racist bubbas who are attempting to overthrow the government.  Who would have ever thought an episode of Blue Thunder could be so timely and topical?   We also throw in some British themed playlets, barbershop quartets, and F.U.P.A. talk.   You’re welcome...

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Team Aquaboy assembles to tackle another man and machine show from the 80’s.  After a bumpy premier episode, try as it might, Blue Thunder the TV show doesn’t live up to the standards set by Blue Thunder the movie.  Not even the most legendary of character actors like Richard Lynch, Bubba Smith, Dick Butkus, and Dana Carvey can save this show from poor execution and a down-right preposterous (yet strangely hilarious) villain.   BTW, RIP PVC.  

No matter how you pronounce the word ‘helicopter’, Blue Thunder will still be a tough watch. 

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The Aquaboys assemble to broadcast live from the driveway at Aquaboy Studios, offering up our first pocket-sized episode.   This episode we celebrate the year that was 2020 by discussing our favorite shows, movies, comics, and music from the year.   But first, we tackle how to properly address gypsies, tragedy befalls Tony and advances in menstruation technology!