The Cavalry
Each week comedians Johnny Beehner and Andrew Sleighter rehash situations where they were outnumbered, voted down or dismissed and look to each other for backup.
"That's A Bad Break For Butthole Surfers"
We discuss a Cavalry power move used in the wild by a loyal listener! Then Andrew needs backup on companies awarding rewards points for basic decency. Johnny needs backup that when women moon someone it's not really a prank. Enjoy!
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"Closed Captioning For Smells"
It's episode 272 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup that money does in fact buy happiness. Andrew needs backup that you can't bring McDonalds into the airport lounge. Enjoy!
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"Change Your Own Brakes"
Johnny needs backup that waiters shouldn't sit down at the table with you when they're taking your order. Andrew needs backup that only married years count towards an anniversary, and you can't keep counting if your spouse died. Enjoy!
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"Comedian DESTROYS His Pants"
Johnny gives a wallpaper disaster update and Andrew's gonna try and install a new dishwasher top rack. Johnny needs backup wondering why no matter what he eats his poops are always roughly the same. Andrew needs backup that we should eliminate inflight announcements. Enjoy!
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"David Ryan Adams"
Johnny needs backup that concerts should start on time. Andrew needs backup that constellations are a scam. Johnny gives an appliance update which includes a repairman blowdrying his refrigerator and Andrew learns the difference between Brian and Ryan Adams. Enjoy!
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"I Couldn't Come Up With Stupid"
On episode 268 of The Cavalry Andrew needs backup that people who say they're not into politics need to pick a side. Johnny needs backup that you shouldn't be allowed to save seats.
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"You're Sinking Again"
Andrew needs backup that gum sucks. Johnny needs backup that claw machines should be illegal. They talk about Father's Day plans and just how Andy Dufrane got that hiding spot in the Bible for his rock hammer cut so perfectly. Enjoy!
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"That Wasn't Funny Or Impressive"
Johnny needs backup that all children's birthday parties should be drop off! Andrew needs backup that fish and chips are overrated. Enjoy!
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"A Patty For Myself"
It's episode 265 of The Cavalry! Andrew needs backup that if you've ever changed your mind on Trump, in either direction, then you have no soul. Johnny needs backup that comedy competitions should go extinct. Enjoy!
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"You Have To Renounce Your God"
It's episode 264 of The Cavalry! Andrew needs backup that if Chick-fil-a is going to be at the airport, they have to be open on Sundays. Johnny needs backup that to comment on Youtube videos you must have posted at least one Youtube video. Enjoy!
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"The Beehner Pipes"
It's episode 263 of The Cavalry! Andrew needs backup that we should embrace the positives of everyone getting dumber. Johnny needs backup that the ads for bidets are a misrepresentation. Enjoy!
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"A Little Stick Drift"
It's episode 262 of The Cavalry! Andrew needs backup that you shouldn't be able to delete direct messages. Johnny needs backup that when you get pulled over, they should let you know whether or not you're getting the ticket before they leave to go back to their car.
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"Well I Could Be A Body"
It's Episode 161 of The Cavalry! Andrew needs backup that there should be a federal minimum on offers airlines make to you to reschedule your ticket. Johnny needs backup that wallpaper sucks. Enjoy!
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"What Is Any Of This? How Dare You?"
It's Episode 260 of The Cavalry! Andrew needs backup that you shouldn't have to freeze your credit, the default should be frozen. Johnny needs backup that if a insurance company decides not to pay out your policy, they should have to give back the premiums you paid in. Enjoy!
Remember to sign up for the Patreon for Post-Show Banter! https://patreon.com/thecavalrypodcast?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink
"Dad! We're Getting Culver's?!"
It's epsisode 259 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup that we should get rid of any forced pleasantries from fast food or convenience store employees. Andrew needs backup that joggers shouldn't jog in the street. Enjoy!
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"The Basketball Tournament For College"
It's episode 258 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup on showing time codes for reality shows. Andrew needs backup that saying spinach is triple washed has the opposite of the intended effect. Enjoy!
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"Kill Johnny"
It's Episode 257 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup on the Dyson Vacuum being far and away the greatest vacuum of all time. Andrew needs backup on the key to parenting being the first one in the morning to say you didn't sleep great last night. Enjoy!
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"He Uses His Frozen Breath To Freeze A Lake"
It's episode 256 of The Cavalry! First, long-time Cavalry fan Kyle McClure needs backup that music conductors are pointless. Andrew needs backup that non-screen time parents are the hardest working parents in the history of modern civilization. Johnny needs backup that theaters should stop showing anniversary re-releases of movies and just do new movies. Enjoy!
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"It's Also Tough During The Good Times"
It's episode 255 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup that Shamrock Shakes are gross. Andrew needs backup that wiping your kids nose that last time before dropping them off at preschool isn't going to make a difference. Enjoy!
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"But They Don't Tell You Why"
It's episode 254 of The Cavalry! Andrew needs backup that girl scout cookies are terrible. Johnny needs backup that if you're the one that leaves someone at the altar, you need to explain to the audience the wedding isn't happening.
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"Rivereierara Marayarya"
It's episode 253 of The Cavalry! Andrew needs backup on Dairy Queens needing to move into cities. Johnny needs backup on relying on big hotel chains for a Mexican vacation. Enjoy and remember to subscribe to the Patreon for post-show banter!
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"You Don't Feel A Hole"
It's episode 252 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup that there should be weather-tiered drivers licenses. Andrew needs backup that he needs a hobby. Remember to subscribe to the Patreon for post-show banter! We're only one subscriber away from profitability!
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"One Second Of Joy"
It's episode 251 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup on returning Amazon packages for his wife. Andrew needs backup that ads should quit showing themselves to you once you've bought the product. Remember to subscribe to the Patreon for post-show banter!
Remember to sign up for the Patreon for Post-Show Banter! https://patreon.com/thecavalrypodcast?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink
Brandt Tobler - "I'd Eat Better In Prison"
It's episode 250 of The Cavalry! Previous guest and friend of the show Brandt Tobler pinch hits for Johnny as co-host and needs backup that his plan to never pay taxes is win/win. Johnny magically appears for post-show banter so join the Patreon to get your Beehner fix!
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"How Long Until There's Bad Firefighters?"
It's episode 249 of The Cavalry! Andrew needs backup on the Grammy's being the best awards show. Johnny needs backup that there should be a draft to decide who's the President of the United States. Enjoy!
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"I Don't Think A Void Sounds That Bad"
It's episode 248 of The Cavalry! Andrew needs backup that living forever is overrated. Johnny needs backup that minivans have gotten a bad rap. Remember to subscribe to the Patreon for post-show banter!
Remember to sign up for the Patreon for Post-Show Banter! https://patreon.com/thecavalrypodcast?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink
"My Favorite Part of The Mandalorian is his Jetpack"
It's episode 247 of The Cavalry! First Andrew needs backup that all movies in theaters should have an intermission. Then he pivots at the end to Reddit is the only fun social media site left. Johnny needs backup that Chicago drivers are the worst drivers. Remember to subscribe to the Patreon for post-show banter!
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"Babies and Scientists"
It's episode 246 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup that thermometers should just be for babies and scientists. Andrew needs backup that vending machines should be just for soda and candy. Subscribe to the Patreon for post-show banter!
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"The Rooftop Solar Installer Comedian"
It's episode 245 of The Cavalry! Andrew needs backup that no one needs a private Instagram page. Johnny needs backup that having your birthday around Christmas isn't actually bad. Remember to join the Patreon for post-show banter!
Remember to sign up for the Patreon for Post-Show Banter! https://patreon.com/thecavalrypodcast?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink
"Unless They're For Sandwiches"
It's episode 244 of The Cavalry! Andrew needs backup that hotel points should work the same as airline miles where only the person staying there can get the credit. Johnny needs backup that when athletes give away autographed jerseys after games they should use a T-shirt cannon to get them up to the cheap seats instead of giving them to rich kids. Enjoy!
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"I've Never Heard Of Anyone Wiping Like That"
It's episode 243 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup that couches should come put together. Andrew needs backup that all preschools need bidets. Enjoy! Remember to subscribe to the Patreon for post-show banter.
Remember to sign up for the Patreon for Post-Show Banter! https://patreon.com/thecavalrypodcast?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink
"So One Night..."
It's episode 242 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup that you should be able to declare gambling losses on your taxes (turns out it might be that you already can). Andrew needs backup that that "treating the symptom, not the disease" is actually just fine.
Remember to sign up for the Patreon for Post-Show Banter! https://patreon.com/thecavalrypodcast?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink
"A Cloud Of Smoke In The Shape Of My Body"
It's episode 241 of The Cavalry! Due to scheduling problems the great Jason Russell pinch-hits for Andrew. Jason needs backup that he likes women who are hairy and have scars. Enjoy!
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Awkward.. Depressed… Bitter… A Lot Of Complaining
It's episode 240 of The Cavalry! An update to Johnny's new dog! Then Johnny needs backup that companies have gone too far in warning us about ingesting plastic. Andrew needs backup that if you subscribe to a cable or streaming service it should work anywhere you can get online, not just in your hometown. Enjoy!
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"An Origin Story"
It's episode 239 of The Cavalry! The Beehner's get a new dog! Andrew's back on the ship. Johnny needs backup on letting society crumble. Andrew needs backup that only true degenerates know what's going on with slot machines. Remember to subscribe to the Patreon for post-show banter!
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"Bleep Blorp Bleep Blorp"
It's episode 238 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup that the year the movie You've Got Mail came out was the apex of technology being good. Andrew needs backup that emergency vehicles need to either use the siren fully or not at all. Enjoy!
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"That's My Second Favorite Team"
It's episode 237 of The Cavalry! It's a class warfare episode as Andrew needs backup that in exchange for publicly financed stadiums, billionaire sports team owners should have to be filmed for 24-hours following a loss. Johnny needs backup that no one is allowed to have a billion dollars.
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"Each Candidate Gets A Squarespace Page"
It's episode 236 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup that political candidates aren't allowed to advertise. Andrew needs backup that rocking chairs aren't relaxing and if anything require the most work of any chair. Enjoy!
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"It's Been Over, Pal"
It's episode 235 of The Cavalry! Andrew needs backup that we need a new Zulu alphabet. Johnny needs backup on not washing clothes new clothes you just bought before wearing them. Enjoy!
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"Nobody's Airplane Made It To The Stage"
It's episode 234 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup that friends shouldn't tell friends they love them if they know it's going to make them uncomfortable. Andrew needs backup that if you get more than 50 percent of your screen time from Youtube it makes you weird. Enjoy!
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