Relationship Renovation: Marriage Advice, Intimacy & Couples Communication
Do you want more love in your relationship? Are you and your partner wanting to strengthen your communication skills? Are intimacy and sex aspects of your marriage that need improvement? Do you need relationship advice? Are you looking for an alternative to marriage counseling? The Relationship Renovation podcast is hosted by E.J. and Tarah Kerwin, two licensed therapists that are a married couple raising a blended family with four children. They know that when relationships are connected and secure, the everyday stresses of life become much more manageable. They also know cultivating a healthy, loving relationship takes insight, intentionality...
Caretaking in Relationships: Why Withholding the Truth Creates Disconnection | Part 1
Have you ever felt like something was “off” in your relationship… even though nobody was technically doing anything wrong?
In this episode of the Relationship Renovation Podcast, E.J. and Tarah unpack one of the most common — and misunderstood — dynamics they see in couples therapy: caretaking.
Caretaking isn’t just being helpful or supportive. Often, it’s the unconscious habit of withholding feelings, needs, honesty, or vulnerability in an attempt to manage your partner’s emotions — while actually protecting yourself from discomfort, conflict, or rejection.
In this conversation, E.J. and Tarah explore:
Why couples star...Perimenopause, Brain Fog & Relationship Strain: What Every Woman (and Man) Needs to Know (Part 1)
So many women are silently struggling through perimenopause and menopause without realizing what’s actually happening to their bodies, brains, emotions, sleep, libido, and relationships.
In this deeply honest and validating conversation, we sit down with Dr. Arianna Sholes-Douglas — founder of Tula Wellness, author of The Menopause Myth, and host of the Stay Juicy Podcast — to unpack what perimenopause and menopause REALLY feel like beyond the social media jokes and hot flash stereotypes.
We talk about:
brain fog and memory fearsirritability and emotional overwhelmsleep disruption and anxietylibido changesresentment and relationship strainwhy so many women feel “...How to Stay Connected During Life Transitions (Part 2)
Life transitions can either pull couples apart… or bring them closer together.
In Part 1 of this series, we explored why relationships often feel strained during seasons of change — even when the transition itself is positive.
In this episode, we move into the solutions.
We break down 5 practical tools couples can use to stay emotionally connected during stressful or uncertain seasons, including:
how to identify transitions before they create disconnectionwhy naming the transition out loud mattersunderstanding your individual coping patternsavoiding common reactive cyclescreating intentional connection rituals during changeWe also...
Why Your Relationship Feels Off During Life Transitions (Part 1)
Have you ever noticed that your relationship starts to feel off…
Right when life is changing?
👉 You move
👉 Have a baby
👉 Start a new job
👉 Even go on vacation
And suddenly:
You’re arguing moreYou feel disconnectedOr something just feels… differentHere’s the confusing part:
👉 Nothing is actually “wrong”
In this episode, we break down why transitions—both big and small—can quietly create distance between couples, even when everything seems positive on the surface.
You’ll learn:
Why change dis...How to Repair After a Fight (5 Ways to Actually Fix Conflict)
Have you ever argued with your partner…
and even though it “ended”…
something still didn’t feel right?
You told each other you were fine.
You moved on with your day.
But underneath it all—
👉 there’s still tension
👉 still distance
👉 still something unresolved
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.
In this episode, we break down what’s really happening in those moments:
👉 Ruptures—the emotional disconnection that happens when conflict isn’t fully repaired
And more importantly…
👉...
Why Your Relationship Feels Like Roommates (And How to Fix It)
Do you love your partner… but feel more like roommates?
Most of your conversations are about:
schedulesresponsibilitiesgetting through the dayAnd somewhere along the way…
the connection, intimacy, and fun start to fade.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.
In this episode, we break down what many couples experience—but don’t always talk about:
👉 The “roommate phase” of long-term relationships
We cover:
Why even strong relationships drift into routine and disconnectionHow busy lives, stress, and responsibilities slowly replace connectionThe hidden costs most couples don’...The Shift That Changes Everything in Your Relationship (And Yourself) with Dr. Dan Peters
Work with Us!
If you’ve ever felt stuck in your relationship…
frustrated, disconnected, or unsure how to move forward—
This episode will shift the way you see everything.
In this powerful conversation, we sit down with psychologist and coach Dr. Dan Peters to explore a different approach to growth, connection, and healing—one that starts within.
Because what if the problem isn’t just your partner?
What if the struggle you’re facing is actually an invitation…
to understand yourself more deeply, access your full potential...
Why You Keep Having the Same Fight (And How to Finally Fix It)
Order Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from Amazon
Join Our Patreon Community
Why do you keep having the same conversation… with no real change?
You talk things through. You feel aligned. And then a week later, you’re right back in the same pattern.
In Part 2 of this series, we break down why that happens — and how to finally create agreements that actually stick.
Because most couples don’t have a communication problem.
They have an agreement problem.
In this episode, we move from awareness (Part 1...
Why You Keep Having the Same Fight (And Don’t Know Why)
Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation Coaching
Does this sound familiar?
Your partner doesn’t do something you expected…
and suddenly you’re frustrated, confused, or hurt.
Meanwhile, your partner is sitting there thinking:
“What just happened?”
In this episode, we break down one of the most common—and invisible—relationship dynamics
👉 Implicit Agreements
These are the unspoken rules, expectations, and assumptions you carry into your relationship… that your partner never actually agreed to.
And yet, they’re being held accountable to them.<...
Betrayal, Infidelity & Trust: Dr. Stan Tatkin on Why Relationships Fail (and How to Repair Them)
Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation Coaching
What actually causes betrayal in relationships?
Is it about sex, disconnection, or something deeper?
In this episode, we sit down with Dr. Stan Tatkin, founder of the PACT Institute and one of the leading voices in relationship science, to break down what really happens when trust is broken—and what it actually takes to repair it.
Dr. Tatkin challenges many common beliefs about infidelity and introduces a powerful reframe:
Betrayal isn’t just about what happened.
It’s about what w...
The Partner of an Overfunctioner: Why You Feel Pushed Out (Part 2)
Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation Coaching
From the outside, it can look like you have the “perfect” partner.
They manage everything.
They take care of the house, the schedule, the responsibilities.
But on the inside… it can feel very different.
You may feel:
crowded outjudgedlike there’s no room for you to contributeor like nothing you do is ever “right”In this episode, we explore what it’s like to be the partner of an overfunctioner — and why this dynamic often leads to withdrawal, resentment, and disconnectio...
Overfunctioning in Relationships: Why One Partner Ends Up Doing Everything (Part 1)
Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation Coaching
Do you feel like you're the one who has to remember everything, manage everything, and hold the relationship together?
You handle the schedules.
You keep the household running.
You anticipate everyone’s needs.
And yet… you're exhausted, overwhelmed, and starting to feel resentful.
Order Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from Amazon
Join Our Patreon Community
In this episode, we explore the dynamic of overfunctioning in relationships — when one partner takes on too much responsibility in an att...
Validation Isn’t Agreement: How to Validate Your Partner Without Admitting You’re Wrong (Part 2)
Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation Coaching
Many couples get stuck in the same painful argument:
One partner feels hurt or insecure.
The other partner feels falsely accused.
And suddenly the conversation becomes a battle over who’s right and who’s wrong.
Order Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from Amazon
Join Our Patreon Community
In this episode, we continue our series on what happens when communication tools stop working and address one of the most confusing concepts in relationships:
Does validation mean...
When Communication Tools Don’t Work: Regulating Before Repair (Part 1)
Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation Coaching
When you're in the middle of conflict, communication tools can completely fall apart.
You try to validate.
You try to listen.
You try to stay calm.
And suddenly you're flooded, defensive, or completely shut down.
In this episode, we respond to a powerful listener question:
What do you do when the tools don’t work?
We break down:
Why regulation must come before communicationHow nervous system activation creates “narrative certainty”The 3 biggest mistakes couples make w...Infertility, Miscarriage & Marriage: How to Stay Connected Through Pregnancy Loss
Infertility and pregnancy loss are far more common than we talk about — and far more isolating than most couples expect.
Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation Coaching
In this deeply vulnerable episode, we sit down with Alan and Kasey to explore their journey through:
Multiple miscarriagesAn ectopic pregnancy that nearly turned fatalPTSD and trauma after medical emergencyThe invisible grief of infertilityAnd the complicated question: What does our future look like now?What makes their story powerful isn’t just the pain — it’s how they stayed connected through it.
They share:<...
Why Sex Changes in Midlife and How Couples Close the Bedroom Gap
Why does sex often become uncomfortable, pressured, or disconnected in midlife — even in loving relationships?
Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation Coaching
In this episode, EJ and Tarah are joined by Dr. Maria Sophocles, board-certified gynecologist and national menopause expert, to explore what she calls The Bedroom Gap — the growing difference in expectations, desire, and physical experience that many couples face as they age.
They discuss why so many women feel broken or ashamed when intimacy changes, why couples rarely talk openly about it, and how hormonal shifts, cultural messaging, and outdated defi...
Why Desire Fades in Long Term Relationships (And How Couples Rebuild Connection)
Why does desire often fade in long-term relationships — even when couples deeply love each other?
Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation Coaching
In this episode, EJ and Tarah are joined by Dan Purcell, founder of Get Your Marriage On, to explore why intimacy can start to feel pressured, routine, or emotionally distant over time. If you’ve ever wondered why connection doesn’t automatically follow commitment, or why closeness can suddenly feel anxiety-producing instead of natural, this conversation offers a deeper explanation.
Together, they unpack how expectation, anxiety, and unspoken pressure quietly erode...
Why Triggers and Defensiveness Derail Communication (Part 3)
Why do the same arguments keep happening — even when you know better?
Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation Coaching
In Part 3 of our communication series, relationship therapists Tarah and EJ Kerwin break down what’s really happening underneath conflict: emotional triggers, nervous system hijacking, and defensiveness. These are the moments when logic disappears, your partner feels like the enemy, and small issues turn into big ruptures.
In this episode, we explain why triggers are not character flaws — they’re internal emotional alarms — and how understanding your triggers can help you slow reactivity, reduce dam...
Communication Skills Every Couple Needs: Validation, Active Listening, and Repair (Part 2)
In Part Two of our Communication Series, EJ and Tarah Kerwin break down three of the most essential — and most misunderstood — relationship skills: validation, active listening, and repair attempts.
Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation Coaching
Most couples don’t struggle because they don’t care — they struggle because they were never taught how to communicate when emotions are high. In this episode, EJ and Tarah explain why defensiveness is so common, how quickly conversations turn into arguments, and what it actually means to help your partner feel heard without giving up your own boundaries...
The Biggest Communication Mistakes Couples Make (Part 1: The Don’ts)
Is communication the biggest struggle in your relationship? You’re not alone.
Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation Coaching
In Part 1 of our 3-part Communication Series, relationship experts and hosts Tarah and EJ Kerwin break down why communication goes wrong so often—even when we love our partner and have the best intentions.
This episode focuses on the “DON’Ts” of communication: the instinctive, automatic responses we fall into when we’re tired, defensive, triggered, or overwhelmed. These reactions may feel honest in the moment, but they often shut down connection and emotional sa...
Why Couples Stay Stuck in the Same Painful Patterns (Even When They Try to Change)
Why do so many couples feel stuck repeating the same painful patterns — even after therapy, books, and years of personal growth?
Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation Coaching
In this conversation with Thais Gibson, founder of the Personal Development School, EJ and Tarah explore why insight alone doesn’t lead to lasting change in relationships. If you’ve ever thought “I know better, so why do I keep reacting the same way?” this episode helps explain what’s really happening beneath the surface.
Join Our Patreon Community
Together, they unpack how attachme...
Why You Keep Repeating the Same Relationship Patterns — and How Attachment Styles Actually Change (with Thais Gibson)
Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation Coaching
Order Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from Amazon
Join Our Patreon Community
Take the Emotional Safety Assessment Quiz
Why do couples swear they’ll “do better next time” — and then fall into the exact same fights again?
In this episode, we’re joined by Thais Gibson, leading attachment theory expert and founder of The Personal Development School, to unpack why relationship change often doesn’t stick — and what actually works at the subconscious and nervous system level.
We talk about how atta...
Why Couples Drift Apart — A Simple Framework That Keeps You Connected
Intentions Worksheet
Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation Coaching
Order Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from Amazon
Join Our Patreon Community
Take the Emotional Safety Assessment Quiz
Most couples don’t fall apart overnight.
They drift apart slowly—through busy schedules, unspoken patterns, and lack of intentional connection.
In this episode of Relationship Renovation, licensed therapists EJ and Tarah Kerwin explain why couples drift apart and share a simple, practical framework that helps couples stay emotionally connected over time.
Instead of focusing on f...
Eyes Open Intimacy: How Real Presence Rebuilds Desire and Connection
Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation Coaching
Order Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from Amazon
Join Our Patreon Community
Take the Emotional Safety Assessment Quiz
What if the problem isn’t how often you’re having sex — but how present you are when you’re together?
In this episode of Relationship Renovation, EJ and Tarah Kerwin sit down with Dan Purcell, intimacy educator, founder of Get Your Marriage On, and host of the podcast by the same name. Together, they explore what Dan calls “Eyes Open Intimacy” — a way of approac...
The Intimacy Gap (Part 4): How Play, Curiosity, and New Experiences Create Lasting Connection
Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation Coaching
Order Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from Amazon
Join Our Patreon Community
Take the Emotional Safety Assessment Quiz
In the final episode of our four-part Intimacy Gap series, we focus on how couples can move forward — not by “getting back” what they once had, but by intentionally creating a new intimacy story together.
Many couples feel stuck when intimacy changes. Desire feels mismatched. Emotional connection fades. Sex becomes pressured or avoided. In this episode, we explore why intimacy isn’t something you find...
The Intimacy Gap (Part 3): How Curiosity and Emotional Safety Rebuild Connection — and Help Couples Navigate Desire Differences
Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation Coaching
Order Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from Amazon
Join Our Patreon Community
Take the Emotional Safety Assessment Quiz
In Part 3 of our Intimacy Gap series, we explore two of the most powerful and most misunderstood ingredients of lasting intimacy: curiosity and emotional safety.
So many couples get stuck in the same painful loop: mismatched desire, uncomfortable conversations, and the fear that they’ll never get back on the same page. But true intimacy doesn’t start with sex, it starts with the...
The Intimacy Gap (Part 2): How Stress, Shame, and Mismatched Desire Sabotage Connection — and What Couples Can Do About It
Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation Coaching
Order Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from Amazon
Join Our Patreon Community
Take the Emotional Safety Assessment Quiz
Ever wondered why stress and shame seem to quietly erode intimacy in your relationship?
Do you and your partner struggle to reconnect during overwhelming seasons—leaving both of you feeling misunderstood, rejected, or alone?
Curious how to calm your nervous system and bridge the desire gap, even when it feels impossible?
In this week’s episode of Relationship Renovation, EJ K...
The Intimacy Gap (Part 1): Why 80% of Couples Struggle with Emotional and Sexual Connection — and How to Rebuild Closeness
Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation Coaching
Order Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from Amazon
Join Our Patreon Community
Take the Emotional Safety Assessment Quiz
In this first episode of our four-part series The Intimacy Gap, E.J. and Tarah Kerwin explore why most couples experience differences in emotional, physical, and sexual intimacy — and how these discrepancies can lead to frustration, disconnection, or misunderstanding.
They share the real numbers (80% of couples face this issue), explain how attachment styles and nervous system regulation impact intimacy, and offer tools to star...
When Money Avoidance Breaks Trust: Why Couples Shut Down Instead of Talking
Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation Coaching
Or email us directly at coaching@relationshiprenovation.com with the subject line “Couples Coaching Application.”Â
Order Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from Amazon
Join Our Patreon Community
Take the Emotional Safety Assessment Quiz
Hosts EJ Kerwin and Tarah Kerwin sit down for one of their most raw and honest conversations yet. Facing a significant financial crisis, they pull back the curtain on the uncomfortable truths, emotional triggers, and deep lessons that emerged from their recent struggles. Listeners are invited to witness how avo...
Menopause, Hormones, and the Bedroom Gap: How to Restore Intimacy and Connection in Midlife
Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation Coaching
Or email us directly at coaching@relationshiprenovation.com with the subject line “Couples Coaching Application.”Â
Order Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from Amazon
Join Our Patreon Community
Take the Emotional Safety Assessment Quiz
In this episode of the Relationship Renovation Podcast, hosts EJ and Tarah Kerwin sit down with renowned OB/GYN Dr. Maria Sophocles to unpack the truth about menopause, hormones, and how they shape sexual health, intimacy, and relationship wellness. With nearly three decades of experience and a global reputat...
When Life Gets Hard: How Couples Can Stay Connected Instead of Drifting Apart
Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation Coaching
Or email us directly at coaching@relationshiprenovation.com with the subject line “Couples Coaching Application.”Â
Order Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from Amazon
Join Our Patreon Community
Take the Emotional Safety Assessment Quiz
In this deeply resonant episode of Relationship Renovation, hosts EJ Kerwin and Tarah Kerwin open up with raw honesty about the challenges and crises their relationship faced over the past year. Drawing on their own experiences—and the many couples they’ve supported—this conversation explores how practicing vulnerability...
When Sex Feels Like a Transaction: The Hidden Disconnect in Relationships
Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation Coaching
Or email us directly at coaching@relationshiprenovation.com with the subject line “Couples Coaching Application.”Â
Order Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from Amazon
Join Our Patreon Community
Take the Emotional Safety Assessment Quiz
Highlights from the Episode
How Sex Turns Transactional: Tarah shares a story from a recent couples session: “If you do this and you do it well, I’ll give you sex.” Sound familiar? Turns out, it’s more common than we think.Both Partners Are Responsible: EJ and Tarah refle...Why I Shut Down in Conflict: Facing My Avoidant Patterns
In this deeply personal episode, Tarah interviews EJ about his avoidant tendencies — why he used to shut down during conflict, how it affected their relationship, and what it took to start feeling safe enough to stay present when things got hard.
Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation Coaching
Or email us directly at coaching@relationshiprenovation.com with the subject line “Couples Coaching Application.”Â
Order Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from Amazon
Join Our Patreon Community
Take the Emotional Safety Assessment Quiz
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brand
247 - How to Talk About Needs Without Triggering Defensiveness
Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation Coaching
Or email us directly at coaching@relationshiprenovation.com with the subject line “Couples Coaching Application.”Â
Order Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from Amazon
Join Our Patreon Community
Take the Emotional Safety Assessment Quiz
In this episode of the Relationship Renovation Podcast, licensed therapists and hosts EJ and Tarah Kerwin explore the delicate balance between being attuned to your partner and staying true to yourself. Drawing from their own relationship journey—as both a couple and co-therapists—they share real stories, practical tools, and...
246 - Why Your Partner Can’t Read Your Mind (and How to Stop Misunderstandings in Your Relationship)
Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation Coaching
Or email us directly at coaching@relationshiprenovation.com with the subject line “Couples Coaching Application.”Â
Order Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from Amazon
Join Our Patreon Community
Take the Emotional Safety Assessment Quiz
Are you tired of small habits turning into big fights? Do you wish your partner could just “know” how you feel—without you having to explain it every time?
In this episode of Relationship Renovation, Tarah and EJ Kerwin share how hidden assumptions and unspoken judgments quietly chip...
245 - From Despair to Repair: Injecting Hope into Relationships
Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation Coaching
Or email us directly at coaching@relationshiprenovation.com with the subject line “Couples Coaching Application.”Â
Order Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from Amazon
Join Our Patreon Community
Take the Emotional Safety Assessment Quiz
In episode 245 of the Relationship Renovation Podcast hosts Tarah and EJ Kerwin dive deep into the transformative power of hope in relationships. Drawing from both their own experiences and years working with couples, they reveal how losing hope is a common stage for struggling partners—and how the right sup...
244 - Are You Emotionally Safe in Your Relationship? Try Our Assessment and Learn More
Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation Coaching
Or email us directly at coaching@relationshiprenovation.com with the subject line “Couples Coaching Application.”Â
Order Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from Amazon
Join Our Patreon Community
Take the Emotional Safety Assessment Quiz
EJ and Tarah Kerwin dive into the power of their Emotional Safety Assessment—a free tool now available on their website. They openly model the entire process, walking through all 13 questions and sharing their honest scores and reflections. Listeners will get a behind-the-scenes look at how the hosts use this...
243 - Boosting Connection in Relationships: How to Predict Plan Prepare for Daily Challenges
Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation Coaching
Order Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from Amazon
Join Our Patreon Community
Take the Emotional Safety Assessment Quiz
On this episode of Relationship Renovation, Tarah and EJ Kerwin share the secret weapon they use to bring calm, clarity, and connection to even the most stressful parts of daily life: the “Predict, Plan, Prepare” (Triple P) tool, developed by renowned relationship expert Dr. Stan Tatkin. Listen in as they break down exactly how Triple P works, why couples struggle without a plan, and how this...
242 - Creating Intentional Seasons: Tools to Keep Your Relationship from Getting Lost in Life’s Chaos
Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation Coaching
Order Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from Amazon
Join Our Patreon Community
Take the Emotional Safety Assessment Quiz
In this episode of Relationship Renovation, EJ and Tarah Kerwin share real-life experiences and expert insights on how couples can "change the season" in their lives rather than letting external events dictate the tone of their relationship. You'll discover a simple yet powerful three-step framework—awareness, boundaries, and intentional rituals—to help you and your partner name your current season, create practices that support your rela...
241 - Rebuilding Connection: How Ben and Julie Transformed Their Marriage After 27 Years
Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation Coaching
Order Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from Amazon
Join Our Patreon Community
Take the Emotional Safety Assessment QuizÂ
In this heartfelt episode of the Relationship Renovation Podcast, hosts EJ and Tarah Kerwin sit down with Ben and Julie, a couple who met in high school, faced the challenges of teen parenthood, and nearly reached their breaking point after 27 years together. Through their honest and vulnerable conversation, Ben and Julie share what brought them to couples counseling, how learning tools like emotional check-ins and s...
