The High Conflict Co-Parenting Podcast

Why do two parents who both want a relationship with their children end up locked in opposition? Brook Olsen talks with Jussi Light, a licensed marriage and family therapist and founder of New Growth Counseling in Carlsbad, California. He has spent two decades working with complex trauma and high-conflict custody cases.

Jussi explains why structure has to come before de-escalation. He also describes how a parent’s own trauma and shame can drive the need for a child’s loyalty, and how parental enmeshment pulls a child against the other parent. He shares a practical idea for tran...

When a court orders therapy for your child, the therapist you choose can move reunification forward or stall it for months. In this episode, Brook Olsen talks with two family therapists who work high-conflict custody cases about how to choose well.

They explain the difference between individual and conjoint therapy, and the red flags to watch for. One is an individual therapist who has never spoken to both parents or hasn’t read the court orders. Another is a therapist who lets a child decide whether they are “ready” to see a parent. They also discuss why a chil...

Why do some relationships become trapped in cycles of conflict, fear, and emotional reactivity?

In this episode of the High Conflict Co-Parenting Podcast, Brooke Olson is joined by Jussi Light, LMFT, and Bryson Greaves, Ph.D., to explore how early family experiences and past relationship patterns can shape the way we respond to conflict later in life.

Together, they look beyond labels such as attachment styles and personality disorders to examine the underlying dynamics that influence human behavior. They discuss how childhood experiences, unresolved fears, shame, and past betrayals can affect communication, trust, boundaries, and...

In Episode 7 of the High Conflict Co-Parenting Podcast, Brooke and Charlie explore an important question for parents navigating high-conflict divorce and custody situations: What do you really want, and what will it take to get there?

When parents are caught in years of conflict over custody, money, assets, and other disputes, it can become difficult to see beyond survival and the next battle. The hosts discuss how identifying what you truly need, what your children need, and what is actually worth fighting for can help you move forward.

Brooke and Charlie share real-world examples of...

In this episode of the High Conflict Co-Parenting Podcast, Brook Olsen and Nicola Ranson delve into the complexities of coercive control, narcissism, and the dynamics of abusive relationships, including cult-like behaviors. They discuss the impact of these dynamics on victims, the importance of recovery, and strategies for navigating family dynamics and parental alienation. The conversation delves into the dynamics of coercive control, narcissism, and the healing process from trauma, particularly in the context of abusive relationships and cults. It emphasizes the importance of understanding these dynamics, the role of self-compassion, and the complexities involved in recovery and personal growth.<...

Brooke Olsen and Eric Sjoberg look at how conflict shows up in every relationship, healthy or not, and how the way we handle it is shaped by the family we grew up in. The conversation centers on three things: conflict avoidance, aggression, and boundary setting.

In this episode of the High Conflict Co-Parenting Podcast, host Brook Olsen sits down with Beven Burns, Executive Director of Bridges Middle School, the only middle school in Oregon exclusively serving neurodivergent students. Beven shares how her school builds belonging, confidence, and community for kids with ADHD and other forms of neurodivergence — helping them move from feeling excluded to feeling truly understood. The conversation dives into the shame and stigma many families carry, the power of viewing neurodivergence through an asset-based lens rather than a deficit-based one, and practical strategies for parents — especially in co-parenting households — like the power of the...

In this episode, Brooke sits down again with Michelle Mitchell for a conversation on "getting it right" in co-parenting and coaching. They trace Michelle's own journey — from her early co-parenting years and first classes back in 2013–2014, through training with Brooke, to becoming a coach herself — and use it as a mirror for where many listeners are today. The conversation moves through the evolution of coaching and training over time, the triage model for managing crisis versus deeper work, and why simplifying internal systems matters more than accumulating more knowledge. They also dig into the difference between knowing a skill and em...

In this insightful interview, Oona Metz, author of 'Unhitched,' shares her expertise on the emotional journey of divorce, the gender dynamics involved, and practical strategies for navigating this challenging life transition. Discover how to turn divorce into a transformative experience and support your mental health through support groups and self-care.

If you're ready for structure instead of chaos, go to https://disengage.highconflict.net/next-step and take the next step. We’ll guide you from there.

For classes or one on one consults with Brook please visit our  website to regi...

In this insightful interview, Sol Kennedy discusses the innovative AI-powered co-parenting app, Best Interest, designed to reduce conflict and improve communication between high-conflict parents. Brooke Olsen explores the platform's features, challenges, and the importance of personal growth in co-parenting.

If you're ready for structure instead of chaos,

go to https://disengage.highconflict.net/next-step

and take the next step. We’ll guide you from there.

For classes or one on one consults with Brook please visit our  website to register. https://www.highconflict.net/

Fr...

In this episode, Ron Platt from NASDF shares a comprehensive overview of resources and initiatives designed to support families navigating divorce and single parenthood. Discover innovative programs, legal reforms, and community support systems aimed at reducing conflict, financial stress, and intergenerational poverty.

If you're ready for structure instead of chaos, go to https://disengage.highconflict.net/next-step and take the next step. We’ll guide you from there.

For classes or one on one consults with Brook please visit our  website to register. https://www.highconflict.net/

Free...

In this episode of the High Conflict Co-parenting podcast, Brooke Olsen and Bryan Power discuss how breakups can serve as catalysts for personal growth and healthier relationships. They delve into attachment theory, exploring how different attachment styles impact relationships and parenting. Bryan shares his personal journey through a challenging breakup and the insights he gained about attachment styles, emotional safety, and the importance of self-reflection. The conversation emphasizes the significance of understanding one's own attachment style, the role of communication and boundaries in relationships, and the transformative power of doing the work necessary for healing and growth. Bryan introduces...

Summary

In this episode of the High Conflict Co-parenting Podcast, host Brooke Olsen speaks with Dr. Alissa Jerud about her book, Emotion Savvy Parenting. They discuss the importance of emotional regulation for parents, the role of somatic awareness, and the need for connection with children. Dr. Jerud introduces her ART framework (Acceptance, Regulation, Tolerance) and the CARE skills for managing intense emotions. The conversation emphasizes the significance of mindfulness and awareness in parenting, especially in high-conflict situations, and how these skills can foster resilience in children.

If you're ready for structure instead of chaos,<...

In this episode of the High Conflict Co-Parenting Podcast, Brooke Olsen and Michelle Mitchell discuss the role of AI in co-parenting, emphasizing its limitations as a tool for emotional regulation and communication. They explore the relational dynamics of high conflict situations, the importance of self-reflection, and the need for nuanced understanding in co-parenting relationships. The conversation highlights the significance of processing emotions and the potential pitfalls of relying solely on technology for conflict resolution.

Learn more about Michelle Mitchell:
IG:  @coparentingwithmichelle

LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/michelledmitchell/

Email:  [email protected]

...

In this episode, Brook Olsen is joined by licensed therapist and author Virginia Gilbert to explore one of the most challenging yet empowering steps in high-conflict co-parenting: learning to disengage. Drawing from her book Transcending High Conflict Divorce: How to Disengage from Your Ex and Find Your Power, Virginia shares essential tools to stop the cycle of reactivity, regulate your nervous system, and reclaim your peace—regardless of what your ex does. If you're stuck in conflict, feeling triggered, or unsure how to protect your kids from ongoing tension, this episode offers a clear, compassionate path forward. Learn how ra...

In this powerful episode, Brook Olsen is joined by attorney and author Kerrie Droban Zhivago to unpack the terrifying yet often hidden reality of dealing with a partner who exhibits psychopathic traits. Drawing from her book Surviving a Psychopath, Kerrie shares hard-earned insights on how to recognize psychological abuse, protect yourself in court, and begin the long road to emotional recovery. They discuss the difference between narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths, how these individuals manipulate the legal system, and why disengagement—both emotionally and legally—is the key to reclaiming your life. If you've ever felt gaslit, emotionally trapped, or unsu...

In this episode, Brook Olsen welcomes Dr. Donald Gordon, founder of the Center for Divorce Education and creator of Children in Between, to discuss how parents can reduce conflict and protect their kids during and after divorce. With decades of research and real-world experience, Dr. Gordon shares how even small shifts in communication, emotional regulation, and mindfulness can make a lasting impact on children's well-being. You'll learn how chronic conflict affects kids' brain development, how to model emotional stability, and why co-parents don't need to be perfect—just intentional. If you're navigating high-conflict parenting or want to break generational cy...

In this episode, Brook Olsen sits down with attorney, mediator, and DivorceWave founder Tamara Rowles to explore divorce as a spiritual journey and an opportunity for self-reinvention. Together, they dive into how high-conflict separations—while painful—can also become a gateway to growth, self-awareness, and long-term peace. Tamara shares how mindfulness, nervous system regulation, and intentional disengagement can shift the entire divorce dynamic, protect your kids, and help you reclaim your power. Whether you're just entering the process or stuck in cycles of reactivity, this episode offers practical tools, insight, and a powerful reminder: healing starts from within.

In this episode, Brook Olsen is joined once again by Dr. Craig Malkin, author of Rethinking Narcissism, to explore the lesser-known counterpart to narcissism: echoism. Through the lens of Greek mythology and modern psychology, they unpack how those who fear being "too much" often find themselves entangled in toxic dynamics with narcissistic partners. Dr. Malkin explains how echoism—marked by self-silencing, people-pleasing, and a fear of taking up space—is a survival response rooted in early family systems. Together, they discuss how cultivating healthy anger, reclaiming agency, and practicing mindful disengagement can break the cycle of negative intimacy and lead...

In this episode, Brook talks with conscious relationship coach Annmarie Chereso about how to break free from unconscious patterns that fuel conflict—especially in co-parenting. Annmarie shares her personal journey through divorce and how parts work and nervous system regulation helped her reclaim her power. They explore the role of self-awareness, compassion, and learning to respond from presence rather than fear. A powerful conversation for anyone looking to heal and build healthier relationships with their children—and themselves.

Learn more about AnnMarie Chereso at her website: https://annmariechereso.me/

For exclusive membership perks join our membe...

In this episode of the High Conflict Co-Parenting Podcast, Brook Olsen sits down with therapist and author Christian Van Norberg to explore the power of radical listening—a practice that goes beyond active listening to foster deep connection and emotional regulation.

They discuss how presence, curiosity, and internal awareness can help you disengage from conflict, stay grounded, and support your children without getting pulled into drama. Whether you're navigating court stress or everyday parenting challenges, this conversation offers practical insight into staying calm and connected.

Listen now and discover how radical listening can transform the wa...

In this episode, Brook sits down with family law attorney Kelli Avallone to unpack the tricky dynamics of covert narcissism in custody battles and high-conflict divorces. They explore why labeling a co-parent as a narcissist can backfire, how courts really view psychological evaluations, and why focusing on evidence-based behavior is more effective than diagnosis. Kelli shares what covert narcissistic traits can look like in family court and how parents can respond strategically while keeping children out of the conflict.

Learn more about Kelli Avallone at her website: https://atty-avallone.com/

For exclusive membership...

In this episode, Brook sits down with divorce coach Kate Anthony to unpack the mindsets that truly help during divorce, especially in high-conflict co-parenting situations. They discuss why emotional reactions can backfire, how to shift from wanting "fairness" to focusing on what's legal and strategic, and the importance of boundaries and radical acceptance. With practical tips and compassionate advice, this episode is a valuable guide for anyone facing the challenges of separation.

Learn more about Kate Anthony at her website: https://www.selfloverecovery.com/

For exclusive membership perks join our membership site the Di...

In this episode, Brook welcomes back Ross Rosenberg, author of The Human Magnet Syndrome and The Codependency Revolution, to dive deeper into the concept of Self-Love Deficit Disorder (SLDD)—a groundbreaking reframing of codependency. Together, they unpack how early attachment trauma shapes relationship dynamics, leading many into repeated cycles of caretaking, emotional depletion, and entanglement with narcissistic partners.

Brook and Ross explore the toxic push-pull that arises in high-conflict co-parenting and divorce, where unresolved SLDD patterns often collide with personality disorders. Through the lens of disengagement and strategic self-awareness, they offer insight on how to stop "wrestling wi...

In this episode, Brook speaks with John Riley from Gentle Response about the impact of body language in high-conflict co-parenting. They explore the ACE method—Appearance, Communication, and Engagement—and how small adjustments in posture, tone, and presence can de-escalate tense situations, whether in court, mediation, or daily interactions.

Brook and John also discuss the power of self-awareness and emotional regulation in reducing conflict. By staying composed and intentional, parents can shift dynamics, model healthy behavior for their children, and create a more stable environment. Tune in for practical strategies to navigate conflict with confidence.

Lear...

In this episode, Brook Olsen welcomes conflict engagement specialist and bestselling author Dana Caspersen to discuss how conflict can be an opportunity for growth rather than a problem to avoid. Dana shares insights from her book Conflict Is an Opportunity and explores how our mindset and belief systems shape the way we handle difficult situations.

They dive into the power of shifting attention, practical tools for breaking old conflict habits, and an exercise designed to help reframe conflict dynamics. Whether you're navigating co-parenting challenges or everyday disagreements, this episode offers valuable strategies to engage with curiosity and...

In this episode, Brook welcomes Karen McEnany, The Good Divorce Coach, to discuss how setting the right foundation in divorce can significantly impact long-term outcomes. Divorce inherently carries conflict, but the way we navigate the early stages—our initial conditions—can determine whether the process will be calm, moderately contentious, or high-conflict.

Brook and Karen explore how parents can approach divorce not as a battle, but as a transformation—one that prioritizes family over finances, mitigates unnecessary pain, and fosters healthier co-parenting relationships. They discuss the importance of intention, emotional regulation, and recognizing the difference between what truly...

In this episode Brook and his guests Lisa Johnson and Chris Barry from the podcast Been There Got Out discuss the notion of High Conflict Detox. This is where a person/parent is stuck deeply in the habitual cycle of conflict and the nervous system maintains a high level of chronic activation. In order to break the cycle one must endure the discomfort of disengagement, develop a self awareness of the cycle in order to break free of the strong impulse to engage in and continue the conflict. This conflict pattern is very much physiological and can be mastered...

In this episode Brook has guest Rich Carr author of Surprised: The Science and Art of Engagement. Rich brings a bright and engaging look at how we as humans respond or react to an outside stimulus and in understanding the workings of the various part of the brain dictate how you will engage in or disengage with that stimulus. In high conflict or for that matter any relational interaction, getting to the solution with the least amount of conflict and the optimal exploration is the goal. Rich goes into how you can install intention and preprogram action to reduce...

In this episode Brook has esteemed guest, researcher, professor and author of the Polyvagal Theory, Dr. Steven Porges. Brook and Dr. Porges have a robust and educational conversation about how the vagus nerve influences the fear response, social connections and emotional regulations. It is important to understand the functional brain response in order to cognitively intervene for self regulation. This is an amazing conversation for anyone caught in high conflict or navigating life in general. Listen, Learn and Enjoy!!!

Learn more about Dr. Porges at his  website https://www.polyvagalinstitute.org/

For exclusive membership perks j...

In this episode Brook has guest Elaine Taylor-Klaus, Author and Co-Founder of Impact Parents. Brook and Elaine have a robust conversation about parenting a child that is  neurodivergent and the challenges that go with the behaviors with being ADHD or on the spectrum of Autism. Deep in the discussion the conversation move in the direction of generational repetition and as adults having similar diagnoses as a window into the stigma and judgment of the labels. This is a great conversation regardless of whether or not you are dealing with this issue. You may truly be surprised. Enjoy !!!

E...

In this episode Brook and his guests Lisa Johnson and Chris Barry from the podcast Been There Got Out discuss the notion of High Conflict Detox. This is where a person/parent is stuck deeply in the habitual cycle of conflict and the nervous system maintains a high level of chronic activation. In order to break the cycle one must endure the discomfort of disengagement, develop a self awareness of the cycle in order to break free of the strong impulse to engage in and continue the conflict. This conflict pattern is very much physiological and can be mastered...

In this episode Brook and his guest  Derrick Chevalier discuss in depth the interconnection between negotiation in divorce and custody and first understanding what is on the playing field and who the players are first, before setting sail in the process. Getting yourself settled and using your unique knowledge of the situation in order to knit together the solution and the proper delivery system ie: Attorney, Mediator and such. By doing so getting to the center of the issues, such as finances and custody can be a much easier path and resulting in better outcomes become more available and u...

In this episode Brook and Michelle  take another deeper dive into the subject of preparing for and dealing with the stresses of the holidays. When dealing with high conflict co-parentis it is important to have an open mindset of solving the problems out front and deep understanding of how you are stuck trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. Challenging your beliefs about what is important vs what solves the problem and takes the children out of the chaos isn't easy. Listen to Brook and Michelle in this episode in order to get some fresh a...

In this episode Brook has special guest Nicola Ranson L.C.S.W. Brook and Nicola discuss the concepts of Transference and Projection as pertain to working with a coach or therapist. These are always taking place in all relationships and unconsciously affect the interaction. When working with a coach or therapist it is important the coach or therapist is trained to consciously identify it and not get entangled with but use it as an informative process to uncover deeper solutions and processes. 

As a client it is important to find a coach that is seasoned and p...

In this Episode Brook has as his special guest Attorney Kelli Avallone in to discuss the frustrations that clients have when dealing with their attorneys as well as those frustrations of the attorney with their clients, in high conflict custody cases. The discussion explores the topics that can cause the frustration and how using a qualified coach can go a long way in keeping both the client and the attorney on a productive path that is efficient both financially and emotionally. Enjoy!!! 

You can contact Kelli at  [email protected]

Join our membership site at ht...

In this episode Brook and Tony delve into the notion of how anxiety  is one of if not the main driver of conflict and at the base understanding this and learning how to navigate the terrain of ones own anxiety is the avenue toward a  high threshold of tolerance can make the difference in disengaging. The basis in the defensive response even in those with narcissism and other personality disorders can be found in navigating the internal sensation that comes with the anxiousness.
Enjoy!!!

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In this episode Brook and Michelle discuss the narcissistic practice of email Carpet Bombing. This is the practice of incessantly sending repeated emails in order to hook you into an argument, to tell you are doing it wrong, to harass and demean you and to cause as much chaos as possible to get you to engage. This is an important concept to understand and to get the tools needed to navigate the barrage. Enjoy!!!

You can follow Michelle on instagram @coachmichellesd. 

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In this episode Brook has special guest Lisa Johnson from  Been There Got Out to discuss how High Conflict Personalities can drive legal abuse in the family court system and how to organize yourself to be able to go it with out an attorney. Lisa brings some good information to a scary subject. 

You can contact Lisa through their website beentheregotout.com or follow them on instagram, Youtube and Facebook.

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In this episode Brook and Michelle discuss the struggles that come with dealing with a ex that isn't on the same page and exhibits narcissist like behaviors and how to navigate keeping the kids out of the middle of ongoing conflict.

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