Mental State: Straight talk about all things mental health and more

In this Mental State episode, host Mary continues a conversation with addiction counselor Amber Hollingsworth (Put the Shovel Down) about how families can support a loved one with addiction without reinforcing denial or becoming the “villain.” Hollingsworth says families are often told they are powerless, but their typical protective reactions—confrontation, evidence-gathering, rallying others, and “holding accountable”—usually trigger defensiveness, deepen denial, and create long power struggles that keep addiction going. She contrasts TV-style interventions with her “invisible intervention,” a behind-the-scenes, strategic approach that avoids triggering defenses, uses empathy to access the person’s own motivation to change, and includes boundarie...

On Mental State, Mary interviews addiction specialist Amber Hollingsworth, creator of Put The Shovel Down, to challenge myths about addiction and recovery. Amber argues people don’t need to “hit rock bottom” or initially want recovery; many begin change for external reasons, and treatment should engage ambivalent clients rather than dismiss them. She describes addiction as continuing a behavior despite harm, often marked early by repeatedly breaking promises to oneself, shame spirals, and a “rebound effect” where substances worsen the very symptoms they relieve. Addiction develops along a continuum from habit to coping to dependency, frequently replacing other coping skills and...

Mary Barbour hosts Dawna Daigneult on the final episode of a three-part series on Daigneult’s worth conscious theory, reviewing birthright self-worth, false selves, and how therapy can nurture disowned “parts” with permission, compassion, and integrative approaches like transactional analysis and overlaps with IFS. Dawna explains worth-affirming “building blocks” that honor lived truth across development, including respecting a child’s voice while providing structure, illustrated by a parenting example about eating peas. She introduces the “yes and no knot,” formed when a child’s internal yes meets contradictory caregiver no’s (e.g., being told feelings are allowed but punished for express...

Mary Barbour continues a conversation with Dawna Daigneult about Worth Conscious Theory, focusing on how birthright self-worth becomes buried under layered family conditions and injunctions, leading some people to build fragile false selves and pursue “counterfeit” goals that serve family values rather than personal truth (e.g., a child pressured to stay in TaeKwonDo to be a “winner”). Donna explains how clients often feel humiliation and relief when realizing they built on the wrong foundation, and she uses imagery, somatic awareness, and reframing to replace heavy, conditional beliefs (e.g., “I have to be thin to be beautiful”) with lighter, wor...

Part one of a three-part conversation features author and therapist Dawna Daigneault discussing her book, Understanding Self-Worth: A Guide to Worth-Conscious Theory and Psychotherapeutic Practice, and introducing “birthright self-worth,” the idea that worth is inherent from birth rather than earned. Dawna distinguishes self-worth from self-esteem, explains how family systems can condition worth through transactional acceptance, and connects self-worth needs to early survival needs, emphasizing that the “how” of meeting needs (e.g., attunement vs. apathy or anger) shapes worth. She expands Eric Berne’s parental injunctions into intrusive versus abusive forms (e.g., “Be someone I like”) and describes how children p...

Breaking Toxic Relationship Cycles: Gabrielle Tattersall on Anxiety, Self-Worth, and Healing on the Mental State podcast. Mental health expert Mary Barbour interviews love and relationship coach Gabrielle Tattersall about her journey from chronic anxiety, depression, self-sabotage, and toxic relationships to building self-worth and healthy love.

Gabrielle describes feeling “lost” in her twenties, believing at 28 it was too late to change and hoping a “Prince Charming” would rescue her. She traces her low self-worth to age 11 after classmates criticized her appearance, leading to obsession with external validation, an eating disorder, and later a boob job. She recounts early relation...

Mary Barbour hosts Mental State with guest Gabrielle Tattersall, a love and relationship coach who shares how she broke decades of anxiety, self-sabotage, and toxic relationships. Gabrielle says she currently coaches women and describes her first major boundary: cutting off men quickly when she noticed inconsistency, game-playing, or disrespect. She explains that healing doesn’t stop toxic people from appearing, but helps you recognize misalignment, trust intuition, and choose peace over desperation. Gabrielle contrasts past relationships—exhausting, anxious, and performative—with her current partner’s calm consistency, acceptance, and support during hard times. They discuss generational messaging about women needing...

Breaking Toxic Relationship Cycles: Gabrielle Tattersall on Anxiety, Self-Worth, and Healing on the Mental State podcast. Mental health expert Mary Barbour interviews love and relationship coach Gabrielle Tattersall about her journey from chronic anxiety, depression, self-sabotage, and toxic relationships to building self-worth and healthy love.

Gabrielle describes feeling “lost” in her twenties, believing at 28 it was too late to change and hoping a “Prince Charming” would rescue her. She traces her low self-worth to age 11 after classmates criticized her appearance, leading to obsession with external validation, an eating disorder, and later a boob job. She recounts early relation...

Hosts Adam and Mary, both therapists, provide advice on setting realistic expectations, managing reactions, and creating exit strategies during family gatherings, especially when facing challenging relatives. They also suggest embracing solitude with self-care practices and forming new traditions, such as Friendsgiving, if one is unable to be with family. Additionally, tips for those working through the holidays or feeling lonely are shared, emphasizing proactive mental health care and community connection. The episode aims to offer practical guidance to enjoy the holidays while maintaining mental well-being.

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Mary Barbour and Adam Boardman discuss George Mumford's book 'The Mindful Athlete,' which connects mindfulness techniques with peak sports performance and personal growth. Mumford, a mindfulness coach for elite athletes like Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant, shares how mindfulness can manage stress, improve focus, and unlock full potential in sports and life. Adam, specializing in athlete mental health, finds the book a valuable, accessible resource for athletes. Both hosts share personal experiences with mindfulness and its practical applications, highlighting the book's relevance to broader aspects of life beyond sports. They recommend the book for its insights into performance...

In this episode of the Mental State podcast, hosts Mary and Adam discuss the book 'Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents' by Lindsay Gibson. They delve into the book's insights on how emotionally immature parents affect their children's adulthood, leading to feelings of anger, loneliness, and confusion. The conversation covers the book's structure, including the different types of emotionally immature parents and the importance of understanding one's true self. They also compare it to related resources and emphasize the crucial lessons of boundary-setting and self-discovery. Adam and Mary share personal impressions and clinical applications while recommending the book for...

In this podcast episode, hosts Mary Barbour and Adam Boardman discuss the movie Inside Out 2, the sequel to Inside Out which focuses on the emotions inside a teenager's brain. Riley, the protagonist from the first movie, now faces puberty and the introduction of new emotions like anxiety. The hosts appreciate how the movie visualizes complex emotional development and cognitive beliefs, emphasizing the transition from a binary self-concept to a more nuanced understanding of self. They highlight the portrayal of new emotions such as embarrassment, envy, and nostalgia, and discuss the rising anxiety levels in teenagers due to factors like...

In this podcast episode of 'Mental State,' hosts Mary Barbour and Adam Boardman discuss the mental health challenges athletes face when retiring or dealing with career-ending injuries. Adam, a former college track and field athlete, shares his personal experiences and insights into the difficulties of transitioning from a life centered around sports. They explore the identity loss, grief, and depression that athletes commonly experience, highlighting the importance of support systems and resources like AthleteSoul. The conversation emphasizes the need for community, career counseling, and maintaining physical activity to help athletes navigate this significant life change.

Today we are discussing athlete mental health in anticipation of the Olympics coming up. 

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Mary -->  marybtherapy and  @marybtherapy   

Adam --> adamboardmanmft.com and @adamboardmanmft

Disclaimer: This information is for educational purposes only; it solely provides self-help tools for your use. This podcast does not provide health care or psychological therapy services and does not diagnose or treat any physical or mental ailment of the mind or body. The content is not a substitut...

Today Adam and I are discussing how to find a therapist that works for you. We talk about our own experiences of looking for a therapist and share our recommendations and tips on your own journey in searching for the right therapeutic fit.

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Mary -->  marybtherapy and  @marybtherapy   

Adam --> adamboardmanmft.com and @adamboardmanmft

Disclaimer: This information is for educational purposes only; it solely provides self-help tools for your use. This podcast does not prov...

Today I've invited Adam Boardman, LMFT to come on the show to talk about dating, communication, and how honesty accelerates relationships. 

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Mary -->  marybtherapy and  @marybtherapy   

Adam --> adamboardmanmft.com and @adamboardmanmft

Disclaimer: This information is for educational purposes only; it solely provides self-help tools for your use. This podcast does not provide health care or psychological therapy services and does not diagnose or treat any physical or mental ailment of the mind or body...

Today my guest is Sadie Smith whose practice, Crescendo Counselling, focuses on the needs of queer, kinky, and polyamorous  communities.  Listen to our discussion about the concept of deconstructing monogamy. You can find out more about Sadie and her work at Crescendo Counseling.

DM or reach out for more info mental health, working with me, or media opportunities. Visit Mary at marybtherapy and  @marybtherapy 

Mary Barbour is an experienced licensed therapist who offers a compassionate, direct, and personalized approach to individual and couples counseling. With the belief that healthy relationships are based o...

Today on my show I am talking with Dr Nicole O’Barto-Trainer who focuses on integrative mental health at her practice Native Clinics, Nicole has advanced skills in mindfulness interventions, HeartMath biofeedback, and functional approaches to depression and anxiety, encompassing nutrition, micronutrient therapy, and amino acid therapy.

To learn more about Nicole you can go to her website nativeclinics.com.

DM or reach out for more info about attachment, working with me, or media opportunities. Visit Mary at marybtherapy and  @marybtherapy 

Mary Barbour is an experienced licensed therapist who offers...

Mary talks to Tanya Cole-Lesnick, the creator of the Activate Coaching Program, about the power of healing in groups. Learn about Tanya's unique style of coaching and how she helps her clients clear their energetic clutter and move through life in a more healthy and balanced way. Learn more about Tanya here - https://www.tanyacole-lesnick.com/

DM or reach out for more info about attachment, working with me, or media opportunities. Visit Mary at marybtherapy and  @marybtherapy 

Mary Barbour is an experienced licensed therapist who offers a compassionate, direct, and perso...

Valentine's day is here. Jin Mary on this solocast as she explores the history of Valentine's Day and how attachment styles handles this Hallmark holiday.

DM or reach out for more info about attachment, working with me, or media opportunities. Visit Mary at marybtherapy and  @marybtherapy 

Mary Barbour is an experienced licensed therapist who offers a compassionate, direct, and personalized approach to individual and couples counseling. With the belief that healthy relationships are based on secure attachment, Mary helps clients identify, explore, and repair insecure attachment patterns, create meaningful connections, and deepe...

Mary interviews relationship expert Dr. Joli Hamilton who discusses her personal experiences with polyamory. Joli has over 20 years of working with couples outside of the cis-het-normative world who want to explore alternative relationship experiences. Joli shares how to navigate jealousy and communication, leaving you with a deeper understanding of yourself within the confines of any relationship.

Are you ready to open up your relationship. Take the quiz at jolihamilton.com/quiz and learn more about Joli Hamilton here.

Dr. Joli Hamilton is the relationship coach for couples who color outside the lin...

Mary talks about dating in 2024. She talks about getting clear on your own values, communication and building trust in the relationship, red flags and what to look for in a longterm relationship. Learn how to create an interdependent relationship.

DM or reach out for more info about attachment, working with me, or media opportunities. 

Visit Mary at marybtherapy and  @marybtherapy 

Mary Barbour is an experienced licensed therapist who offers a compassionate, direct, and personalized approach to individual and couples counseling. With the belief that healthy relationships are based on secure attachment, Mary...

Mary gives the rundown on the five types of narcissism, each with distinct characteristics, and how to potentially spot them - grandiose, vulnerable, communal, malignant and covert. Take a listen to this mini episode to learn more about narcissism and what to look for. 

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Visit Mary at marybtherapy and  @marybtherapy 

Mary Barbour is an experienced licensed therapist who offers a compassionate, direct, and personalized approach to individual and couples counseling. With the belief that health...

I talk with Che Johnson, astro coach and psychotherapist. Che has over 30 years in the field of astrology and he breaks down what is coming down the planetary pipeline in 2024. Learn what Mercury in retrograde really means and what you might expect in romance and relationships for the new year. For a deeper dive into your personal chart contact Che Johnson at chejohnson.net

Caroline Casey - https://coyotenetworknews.com/bio/

Colin Bedell Astrologer - https://www.instagram.com/queercosmos/

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Ever wonder what a matchmaker does? I talk to matchmaker Sarah Powell from MacLynn International.  She walks us through the mysterious process of matchmaking.

Mary Barbour is an experienced licensed therapist who offers a compassionate, direct, and personalized approach to individual and couples counseling. With the belief that healthy relationships are based on secure attachment, Mary helps clients identify, explore, and repair insecure attachment patterns, create meaningful connections, and deepen their connection to themselves and others. Mary integrates her formal training of several modalities - Internal Family Systems (IFS), EMDR, Advanced Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP), an...

Holidays often bring up attachment issues as they emphasize the importance of connection and relationships. For individuals with anxious attachment styles, the fear of abandonment can intensify during these times, leading to heightened anxiety and a strong desire for reassurance from loved ones. On the other hand, those with avoidant attachment styles may feel overwhelmed by the increased social demands and may retreat further, potentially creating distance in their relationships. Attachment issues can manifest as increased insecurity, jealousy, or difficulty managing emotions, as the holiday season highlights the need for emotional connection and support, which may challenge the established...

Mary and her friend Jaqueline talk with body language expert Linda Clemons who spills the tea about body language and dating. Linda shares some juicy tips on how you can become more aware of your own body language and how it can affect the way you attract a mate.

Want to learn more? Take Linda's Body Language for Dating and Attraction course and follow her on Instagram. You can also check out her ebooks to learn more about body language.

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We interview therapist Theodora Blanchfield who shares her adoption story and how it relates to her attachment style. Theodora shares her highs and lows of how being adopted has influenced her relationship choices and how developing a more secure relationship with herself is helping her make better choices.

Learn more about Theodora on her website or through her socials.

DM or reach out for more info about attachment, working with me, or media opportunities. 

Visit Mary at marybtherapy and  @marybtherapy 

Mary Barbour is an experienced licensed therapist who offers a compassionate, dir...

We talk about childhood crushes and how that feeling can infiltrate the way we date as adults. Jacqueline talks about how her 14 year-old-self has a "type" and sometimes that part of her gets in the way of dating like an adult. Listen as we share some tips on how to have a relationship with that part of yourself and allow for the adult you to be in the dating driver's seat.

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Visit Mary at marybtherapy and  @marybtherapy 

Mary Bar...

We explore the world of psychedelics and attachment. Can psychedelics help you have a better relationship with yourself? Remember psychedelics are still illegal in most states and we are not advocating the illegal use of psychedelics.

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Visit Mary at marybtherapy and  @marybtherapy 

Mary Barbour is an experienced licensed therapist who offers a compassionate, direct, and personalized approach to individual and couples counseling. With the belief that healthy relationships are based on secure attachment, Mary helps clients identify, explore, and...

We touch on the topic of neurodivergence and attachment style. Although we are not experts on the neuro-atypical population we offer an exploration of how attachment can apply to HSP, ADHD, and BPD. 

DM or reach out for more info about attachment, working with me, or media opportunities. 

Visit Mary at marybtherapy and  @marybtherapy 

Mary Barbour is an experienced licensed therapist who offers a compassionate, direct, and personalized approach to individual and couples counseling. With the belief that healthy relationships are based on secure attachment, Mary helps clients identify, explore, and repair insecure atta...

Want to know more about attachment styles? We discuss the 4 attachment styles and how to move towards earned secure attachment.

DM or reach out for more info about attachment, working with me, or media opportunities. 

Visit Mary at marybtherapy and  @marybtherapy 

Mary Barbour is an experienced licensed therapist who offers a compassionate, direct, and personalized approach to individual and couples counseling. With the belief that healthy relationships are based on secure attachment, Mary helps clients identify, explore, and repair insecure attachment patterns, create meaningful connections, and deepen their connection to themselves and others. Mar...

We touch on some brain science and attachment. How children and caregivers interact directly affects the child’s brain formation and operation. Most affected by this relationship are parts of the brain that regulate self-control, the release of stress hormones, and the way genes are expressed. We are not even close to being neuroscientists but we are nerds!

DM or reach out for more info about attachment, working with me, or media opportunities. 

Visit Mary at marybtherapy and  @marybtherapy 

Mary Barbour is an experienced licensed therapist who offers a compassionate, direct, and personalized appro...

One of the biggest misses in dating is communication. Whether it be through talk, text, or IRL people are not really sharing what's on their minds which leads to big disappointments and missed opportunities. Learn how to communicate and lean into the uncomfortable, sharky waters of the dating world.

DM or reach out for more info about attachment, working with me, or media opportunities. 

Visit Mary at marybtherapy and  @marybtherapy 

Mary Barbour is an experienced licensed therapist who offers a compassionate, direct, and personalized approach to individual and couples counseling. With the belief tha...

We discuss how women view masculinity in the dating world and how this view can shift as we become more secure in our dating experiences. 

We throw a little shade on some toxic masculinity.

DM or reach out for more info about attachment, working with me, or media opportunities. 

Visit Mary at marybtherapy and  @marybtherapy 

Mary Barbour is an experienced licensed therapist who offers a compassionate, direct, and personalized approach to individual and couples counseling. With the belief that healthy relationships are based on secure attachment, Mary helps clients identify, explore, and...

We are interviewing grief and loss expert Claire Bidwell-Smith who shares her personal story of losing both of her parents by the time she turned 25 and her bumpy journey around navigating her grief. We get real about what it means to lose a parent and explore Claire's work in helping others process the loss of loved ones.

Learn more about Claire at clairebidwellsmith.com or visit her on the socials @clairebidwellsmith

DM or reach out for more info about attachment, working with me, or media opportunities. 

Visit Mary at marybtherapy and  @marybtherapy 

...

We can all get caught up in the fantasy of dating and sometimes put the reality aside. Mary invites her friend Jacqueline to talk about their own dating fantasies and how attachment can play a big role in creating the fantasy. Learn how to take off the dating rose-colored glasses and see the person in front of you for who they really are.

DM or reach out for more info about attachment, working with me, or media opportunities. 

Visit Mary at marybtherapy and  @marybtherapy 

Mary Barbour is an experienced licensed therapist who offers a c...

Medium Ivy Sanderji talks us through her experience of being a medium and a psychic, how to show up for a reading, and what it's like to get messages from the "other side." We explore how readings can help people with different attachment styles. Ivy gets some messages about Mary's love life and Mary agrees to do a live reading with Ivy.

Book a reading with Ivy Sunderji

https://ivysunderji.wordpress.com/

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Vis...

Mary invites her friend Jacqueline to help her interview a listener who is new to attachment styles. Our listener Jen lost her brother at a young age. This devastating trauma as well as her struggle to find guidance through her turbulent teens influenced the way she navigated her own relationships. Jen shares how attachment theory is shedding light on the way she showed up in relationships.

DM or reach out for more info about attachment, working with me, or media opportunities. 

Visit Mary at marybtherapy and  @marybtherapy 

Mary Barbour is an experienced licensed the...

Does the Law of Attraction really work when you're looking for a partner? Do you think you can manifest the perfect someone by making a vision board?  Mary invites her friend on the show to talk about the Law of Attraction and what that means about your attachment style.

DM or reach out for more info about attachment, working with me, or media opportunities. 

Visit Mary at marybtherapy and  @marybtherapy 

Mary Barbour is an experienced licensed therapist who offers a compassionate, direct, and personalized approach to individual and couples counseling. With the belief that...