The Richard Nicholls Mental Health Podcast

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People often think that avoidance is all about procrastination, avoiding the pain of being thought of as having done a bad job by not doing the job in the first place. And although that is avoidance it can also extend into many areas of your life. 

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What's the difference between someone who has all the motivation and enthusiasm you could wish for and someone who, even though they don't have depression, still can't feel motivated? Well, in order to answer that I think it's worth looking at what motivation actually is.

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We often look at mental health as being a brain thing rather than a body thing but of course our brain is part of our body, it's an organ that needs looking after like every other organ does.

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This week I'm looking at how everyday moments with others help us feel more connected. From quick chats to shared experiences, we explore what fills our social meter and what happens when it runs low. It’s a gentle reminder to reach out, notice those around us, and stay open, even when it feels easier to hide.

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It's Friday 13th, so today I've got a bonus episode for you about the psychology of superstition.

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Fake it till you make it sounds a little problematic and it can be, but when done properly learning to model confidence isn’t about being fraudulent, it’s about becoming a fuller, braver version of yourself.

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Your brain has a remarkable ability to filter and remember important experiences while discarding the less significant ones. It does so by comparing new experiences with past ones and using emotional reactions to determine their importance.
Let's look at how we can train it!

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Striking a balance between too much logic and too much emotion isn't easy. But with a bit of practise you can create what therapists sometimes refer to as the Wise Mind.

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Outside of psychology, "Rumination" is the word used for the way certain animals chew their food.
Animals with multiple stomachs are able to move food from one stomach back up to their mouth to chew it some more before swallowing it back down again ready to chew it again a bit later.
That's why we use it in psychology to mean to chew over your thoughts. Even if you swallow your thoughts down they keep coming back up for you to chew over again.
That's rumination. 

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Going back to basics today with a refresher about anxiety.
If you're new to my content this is a great place to start to learn how to deal with it.

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Sometimes our brains take us back in time, whether we like it or not. A smell, a sound, a certain day on the calendar can pull us into the past like we’ve put on a pair of VR goggles.
In today’s episode I'm talking about getting triggered, what that really means, and how we can gently take those goggles off and come back to the here and now.

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Self care and self awareness go hand in hand. By taking care of ourselves and recognising some of the reasons behind our urges and behaviours we can overcome so many obstacles.
Today's episode is all about using the acronym H.A.L.T to help us remember that there may be other things going on with us.

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Today is all about Obsessive Compulsive Personality.

OCD is talked about a lot because it's such a life destroying disorder, and so is quite obvious if someone has it. But when it's a personality trait people can often just get labelled as "difficult" and they don't seek help.

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Personal growth can really only happen by having gone through some sort of pain, some bad experience.
Living inside our comfort zones gets us nowhere unfortunately.
What we need though, is the right mindset so that those bad experiences push us forward, not hold us back.

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This week I'm looking at the constant battle between our real self and our ideal self, and how those nagging “shoulds” (“I should be more productive,” “I should have my life figured out”) create unnecessary pressure and self-criticism.

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Today's episode is all about Commitment and why it's so important when it comes to personal development.

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Today's is a follow up from the personality disorders episode and is about how we can regulate our emotions when we're overwhelmed.

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Being behind on your goals doesn't mean rushing to get everything finished, it doesn't mean disrespecting yourself and not looking after yourself.

One of the most important factors in getting through a busy life with a healthy and happy mindset is the quality time that you put to one side just for you.

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Not everyone benefits from traditional forms of self-care. Some people actually find it quite distressing. If you’ve had difficult experiences in your past—especially in childhood—you might struggle with the idea of sitting in silence with yourself.

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Is there really such a thing as an addictive personality?

Or do people who are addicted to something just need to prove to themselves that they DO have control?

Let's explore the nature of addiction, debunk some common myths, and discuss practical strategies.

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Not everyone likes labels when it comes to mental health issues, but for some people it can be quite reassuring to be told that their reactions to the world are so common that we even have a name for it. So today I'm giving you a very brief introduction to what we call Personality Disorders.

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Feeling anxious doesn't mean that we need to run and hide.
Sometimes our emotions make mistakes and very often their instructions come from our beliefs.

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Ever heard of Sensory Processing Sensitivity?
It's a neurological trait that means that one in 6 people have super duper processing abilities of all of their experiences. Sounds like a superpower doesn't it?
Some with it don't always think so though.

Take the test
https://hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-test/

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Why do small setbacks make us feel like giving up completely—and how can we break free from all-or-nothing thinking to finally reach our goals?

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If you had all the time in the world, what would you do?

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The words in our head and the words we hear ourselves say have a surprising influence on our life. It's worth checking sometimes whether the self talk we have is a friend or a foe.

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It may be Valentine's Day this month, a day to remind someone that you love them, but I think we very often need to bring it closer to home.

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Bit of a psychological education episode today all about our decision making and how our emotions can influence it.

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Is it true that first impressions of something or someone stick?
Yes and no is the rather annoying answer.

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Cognitive Distortions are the thinking traps where our mind convinces us of something that isn't actually true.

Once habitual and almost a part of our personality, they can very often start the ball rolling for depression and anxiety.

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For many, anxiety is all about being vulnerable to the possibility of rejection. 

It's normal for our brain to seek out what we fear and notice dangerous possibilities. But those with bad experiences may have been primed from an early age to expect rejection by default.

Because of this, their brain is going to start perceiving rejection everywhere.

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Kindness is often linked with better mental health. It helps us to feel connected to others, creates a sense of belonging and reduces isolation.
But I say there's a time and a place for it, and it might not be now and it might start closer to home.

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"Awe" tends to be defined as the emotion we experience when encountering something with such perceived vastness that our brain might find it hard to comprehend how it can exist.

Being "awed" by an experience can have some surprisingly powerful, positive effects on us.

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In his letter from Birmingham Jail in 1963, after being arrested on the rather trumped up charge of marching without a permit,  Martin luther king wrote, amongst other things, this quote. he said "There can be no deep disappointment where there is not deep love" in other words, if you feel disappointed it's only because you care about something. 

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Often people will talk about the need to disappear away for a bit to "find themselves" when actually they already knew where they were they just didn't "know" themselves.
Well, maybe we don't need to climb a mountain or hide in a retreat for a week to do this. Maybe we can get to really know ourselves a little bit more every day until we're fully clued up.

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Research has shown that hope can significantly improve mental health outcomes. It boosts resilience, helps you to cope better with stress and setbacks and means that you're more likely to engage in positive behaviours that support your well-being.
But hope isn't something that just happens; it's something you might need to cultivate and it could even save your life.

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Are you living your life based on your values or your goals?

What's the difference anyway?

Let's find out.

Link to values list https://richardnicholls.net/?post=episode-238

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Gaslighting is a phrase we use to mean being manipulated and to have your reality questioned.
Cults have been doing it for decades, maybe even for thousands of years.
Today I'm going to scratch the surface a bit.
Come and have a listen.

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One thing we can all guarantee is that we'll all receive some sort of criticism at some point.
The trick is to not let it get under our skin. Easier said than done though, but don't let that stop you.

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When "future you" doesn't even exist, it can be really hard to stick to your plan in the "now" to ensure that future you gets their needs met.

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