The Richard Nicholls Mental Health Podcast

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Infidelity is one of those topics that gets talked about constantly but almost never honestly. The public conversation tends to collapse into judgment or defence, and neither actually helps anyone understand what's going on.

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Following on from last week I'm going into why some neurodiversity isn't genetic. How childhood trauma can shape a brain in ways that look a lot like neurodivergence and why so many people get handed the wrong diagnosis.

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Why is it so much easier to sort out a friend's messy cupboard than my own?

This month I'm getting into overwhelm and executive dysfunction, specifically the pile that's been sat on the chair for 3 weeks, the drawer that only opens halfway, and the shame that builds up around it.

I break down what executive function actually is, why clutter turns into hundreds of tiny decisions your brain just can't process when it's already running on empty, and the 4 reasons it's so much easier to be decisive with someone...

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Different brains aren't broken brains. They're just running on an operating system the world wasn't built to support. So this week I'm talking about why neurodivergence and mental health are more tangled together than most people realise, and what that actually means for the people carrying it.

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This week we're talking about bullying, and not just the playground kind. We dig into how being bullied as a child can leave a lasting mark on the nervous system, even when home life was safe and loving.

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Anger gets such a rough deal, doesn't it. People either think they've got too much of it and feel ashamed, or they reckon they never get angry and think that's something to be proud of. And honestly, both of those things are worth looking at.

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This week I’m talking about Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, or ACT. A therapy model that sounds a bit like “just accept things” on the surface, but actually has a lot more depth to it than that.

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Jumping into the time machine today, back to 1968 when a researcher built a paradise for mice. A place with unlimited food, total safety, nothing to fear, and watched the whole thing fall apart anyway.

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People often use the word panic to mean the same as anxiety. But in my world, the 2 are separated so as to ensure people get the right sort of therapy.

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Attention seeking gets used as an insult, doesn't it. But wanting to be noticed is one of the most fundamental human drives we have. Today I'm looking at why we got this so badly wrong, and what's actually going on when someone gets labelled that way.

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Self forgiveness isn’t about pretending the past didn’t happen, or letting ourselves off the hook. It’s about learning the difference between responsibility and punishment. Because you can’t hate yourself into becoming well.

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When we notice our mistakes or our inconsistencies, it's easy to label ourselves as a failure. But becoming the best we can be is a continual process, not a destination. 

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Ever found yourself apologising for things that don’t really need an apology? Sorry for asking a question. Sorry for needing help. Sorry for simply existing in someone else’s eyeline.

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Who's responsible if we fall flat on our face and nothing goes right?
More importantly, who's responsible if we don't pick ourselves up again?

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If resting feels wrong for you, that doesn’t mean you’re bad at relaxing. It might mean that your nervous system has learnt some harsh rules about usefulness, safety, and self worth.

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If you're soaking up all the negative stuff that goes on in the world it can be really hard to feel safe ourselves unless we work hard to.
Ignorance is bliss sometimes and you have nothing to feel guilty about by looking the other way when you have to.

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The world can feel quite stressful sometimes and it's really important to find ways of not making things worse for ourselves.
One of those ways is to learn how to let go of some things and find the best ways to delegate.

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This week I’m talking about grounding techniques, those simple little ways we can bring ourselves back to the present when stress, anxiety, or overwhelm start pulling us in all sorts of directions.

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What if the parts of yourself you try hardest to hide are the very parts that need the most understanding? Today we're looking at the idea of the shadow side, the uncomfortable emotions and reactions we often judge, suppress, or avoid. Rather than seeing anger, jealousy, resentment, or insecurity as proof that something is wrong with you, it's good to approach them with curiosity and compassion. 

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A bad attitude is like a flat car tyre.
You're not going anywhere unless you change it.

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Dreams have fascinated us for thousands of years. From ancient prophecies to Freud’s theories about hidden desires, people have long believed that dreams must contain some deeper symbolic meaning. But what if they don’t?

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This week’s episode looks at the tiny influences that shape the way we see ourselves and the world around us. Most people assume big life changes come from big events. Trauma, major decisions, life turning points. But in the therapy room what I often see is something much quieter than that. A slow drip of messages and expectations that build up over time.

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Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “I should be better than this” or “I mustn’t upset anyone” and wondered where that rule actually came from?
This week, we're having a look at the psychology of introjects. The beliefs, attitudes and standards we unconsciously absorb from parents, teachers, partners and society. The invisible scripts that quietly shape our self esteem, anxiety, relationships and sense of worth.

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Happy Easter everyone,

Spring has sprung, the rabbits are at it like, well, rabbits. And it got me thinking about love.

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The rules of toxic masculinity suggest that to be a real man you should never lose, have no needs, suffer in silence, show no emotions except bravado and anger, be independent, show no weakness.
It’s an impossible code to live by and it hurts everyone.

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This week I'm talking about something so many of you have mentioned in emails and messages, that Sunday evening anxiety that seems to arrive like clockwork.
Why does the body react to a calendar change as if it’s a threat?
Why can Sunday feel tense even after a lovely weekend?

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This week I’m exploring something quietly powerful about the social brain. From old school photos to bonobos recognising family decades later, it turns out we don’t just remember faces… we remember feelings. I also look at how curiosity shapes identity, especially in children, and what that means for us as adults. 

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If you’ve ever wondered “What if…?” about your health, this one’s for you.
I'm digging into the often misunderstood world of health anxiety today, what many still call hypochondria. Which is not about drama or attention-seeking. Hypochondria is about fear. Real, convincing fear that something’s wrong, even when every check-up says otherwise.
I’ll be exploring where that fear comes from, how it shows up in our day-to-day lives, and what we can do to break the cycle. From panic spirals and over-Googling to learning how to sit with uncertainty an...

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In this episode, I’m talking about something called zoochosis. A term used to describe distress in captive animals, and how something very similar might be happening to us as humans in the modern world.

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Because we're not born knowing how to do anything that comes naturally to us as adults, we're literally born to fail along the way.
Whether that's learning to walk, talk or how to be calm in difficult situations. We have to learn. We have to practice. And the only way to do that is to get it wrong.
Time to embrace our failures!

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Today I'm looking at conformity and how it affects everything from our smallest decisions to our deepest sense of self. We’ll explore how group pressure shapes our thoughts and behaviours, and why pretending to fit in can damage our mental health over time.

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This week, I’m looking at the quieter side of victim blaming, the unintentional kind. The sort that sneaks into everyday conversations when we try to help someone through something, but accidentally end up making them feel worse.

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Being in control of our goal setting also means being responsible for achieving them, or not.
Sometimes we need to shift our perspectives, focus on intentions and acknowledge the need for adjustments.

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It's no secret that stretching our comfort zone to include more situations is a good idea. But it's called a comfort zone for a reason isnt it? It's comfortable there.
So if life is comfortable and the alternative is uncomfortable then we're not going to have a great deal of motivation to make a change.
But do we even need to? And if so, how?

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Call it a crush, call it new relationship energy, call it infatuation. But if it becomes an addiction, then you can easily become your own drug dealer by retreating into fantasy.
That's when it starts to become a very serious problem.

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Today I'm exploring the playful psychology of “Would You Rather” questions.
They might seem like silly dilemmas but they can lead to some surprisingly deep reflections.
Our choices reveal our values, thoughts, and emotions that create insight you might not expect.

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People sometimes make the mistake of thinking that accepting reality and moving on from the past makes them weak or naive in some way. So they hold onto their pain.
It takes a lot of strength to be the bigger person and say "You know what, the only one this is hurting is me, I'm moving on from that." But it doesn't mean you have to forgive and forget. 

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This week I'm peeking into the quiet power of self-compassion. What it really means, why it feels so difficult, and how we can gently build it into our daily lives.

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Today I'm looking at Conversion Disorder, or as it’s more often called these days, Functional Neurological Symptom Disorder.
It’s one of those things that shows just how powerful the mind-body connection really is. Where the body can suddenly stop working properly but with no clear medical cause. Whether it’s something you’ve experienced yourself, or it’s touched the life of someone you love, this one might help connect a few dots.

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Today I’m talking about the five emotional needs we all have in childhood, and how things can get a bit messy in adulthood if those needs weren’t fully met.
We’ll look at how this might show up in your life now, from people-pleasing to emotional detachment or even struggling to let yourself play. 

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