The Carbon Footprint

We go from space to sports real quick.

This week: the Artemis II and whether going back to the moon is necessary… or just a flex. Then Tiger Woods is a diabolical driver on and off the course.

We break down Major League Baseball’s new ball-strike challenge system (robot umps are basically here), and Matthew McConaughey doing what he does best… everything—including tequila.

Quick hits, real takes, zero filter.

This episode is chaos.

A quadriplegic cornhole player shoots his friend, Sweden wants to make sex a sport, men are staying virgins longer than ever… and we ask: did we completely ruin coaching by going soft?

Nothing is off-limits. If you’ve ever thought, “there’s no way that’s real,” this episode proves you wrong.

This week we get into the World Baseball Classic finale, break down Ray J doing what he does best (wildin’ out), and react to the most unexpected headline of the week—Tampa International Airport cracking down on Crocs and pajamas like it’s a fashion emergency.

Sports, chaos, and airport drip violations… we covered it all.

Grab a drink and jump in.

This week we covered the World Baseball Classic and why international competition always hits differently, the growing tension around the conflict involving Iran and the wildly inappropriate hotel reviews showing up because of it, where U.S. states stand in education rankings, and one unforgettable moment at British Academy Film Awards when Tourette’s turned into one of the most talked-about moments of the night.

Sports, geopolitics, education, chaos… pretty standard episode.

This week gets strange fast.

Minnesota is making headlines for what people are calling “ice fishing” — and no, it has nothing to do with frozen lakes.

NBA All-Star Game keeps feeling less like an event and more like something nobody really wants to play.

The Epstein files continue surfacing more names, and every release creates more questions than answers.

And somehow Michael Jordan is now building serious momentum in NASCAR, because apparently dominating one sport wasn’t enough.

Smart takes, uncomfortable laughs, and the kind of conversations most people are alre...

Bad Bunny owned the halftime stage, the competing show tried to steal it, and the Super Bowl reminded us it’s as much theater as it is football. We rewind the wild history of halftime performances, react to a boxer literally losing his hair mid-fight, and talk about the Winter Olympics turning human bodies into science experiments.

Sports are supposed to be fun. They are. They’re also insane.

First all Spanish AOTY Grammy and Superbowl performance, Bad Bunny's run continues, we think we're the main character in everyone's movie and, Superbowl predictions.

Minneapolis man is killed by ICE. Why exploring other planets is more delusion than destiny. Belichick gets left out of the Hall of Fame, and a mayor keeps dodging assassination attempts. Reality’s stranger than satire, so we drink and discuss.

Watching Rocky with our kids, turns out Rocky isn’t just an underdog — he’s wildly inappropriate, a little slow, and somehow still the hero. We talk about the Druski controversy and his mega-church pastor skits, which are hilarious mostly because he didn’t exaggerate anything. He didn’t write satire — he just held up a mirror and let people get uncomfortable.

Sports, fatherhood, and comedy proving once again that time changes context, not behavior.

Sean hates the Packers, Trump wants Greenland, ICE chaos in Minneapolis keeps escalating, college bowl games make no sense, Miami charges fat girls more, and Chappelle skits are now real life.

Venezuela, OnlyFans baptisms, and women proposing to men. Nothing makes sense anymore — so we talk about it.

This episode connects dots we probably weren’t supposed to. Diddy, MTV, and an era built on influence, access, and silence. Dave Chappelle’s new special lands in that same space — funny, uncomfortable, and impossible to separate from the moment we’re in.

We close by asking our AI what it would do if it were human for a day, and somehow that becomes the most honest part of the episode and forced us to reflect.

Funny, raw and emotional, but always, Carbon Footprint.

NBA Cup discourse, trad wives making a comeback, Michigan football chaos, and Tupac in church. No context. No peace. Just vibes.

This episode has everything: the cousin walk making its return, Thanksgiving family drama that proves blood is thicker than therapy, a once-in-a-lifetime animal encounter that still doesn’t feel real, and a first for one of our sons that most people will never experience.

Memories were made. Emotional damage was sustained.

This episode is pure unhinged energy. A professor decides academia isn’t enough and throws hands with a student, NFL players are out here getting spit on like it’s a new defensive scheme, and fans are trash-talking pro athletes as if cardio and talent are optional. We also get into Denmark banning social media (honestly… fair) and the absolutely insane amount of money people are dumping into sports gambling. Society is thriving. No notes.

The government shut down, which at this point is basically America’s version of a seasonal sale. Dog cloning — because apparently when people said “man’s best friend,” some folks took it way too literally.

Then we break down a Halloween Horror Nights trip that was scary for all the wrong reasons, talk honestly about men’s mental health and the rising suicide rates, and on that topic, Jake Paul vs. Anthony Joshua. We even get into making a will — because based on this week’s topics, we probably should.

A perfectly uplifting episode… for us, anyway.

We’re back with a triple feature nobody asked for. First: Dick Cheney dies, leaving behind a legacy so controversial it might get banned in certain school districts. Then we talk about the recent wave of deaths at Walt Disney World — because nothing says “family vacation” like wondering if Space Mountain is your final destination.

And to top it all off, Zohran Momdani pulls off an election win, proving that New York voters will choose chaos every time.

It’s politics, theme parks, mortality, and democracy — all blended into one morally questionable smoothie.

🎙️ This week on The Carbon Footprint

🎙️ This week on The Carbon Footprint

🎙️ This week on The Carbon Footprint

Dark humor, bad takes, and questionable morals — you already know what it is.

🎙️ This week on The Carbon Footprint:

Dark humor, bad takes, and zero filters — just the way you like it.

🎙️ This week on The Carbon Footprint:

This week on The Carbon Footprint:

🎙️ This week on The Carbon Footprint:

🎙️ This week on The Carbon Footprint:

Just click already!

🎙️ This week on The Carbon Footprint:

Click to listen now! Mainly because you're not supposed to.

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All that plus the usual in...

🎤 This week on The Carbon Footprint, corporate HR hits a new low—and it's probably missionary? It was at a Coldplay concert so, proof that “Yellow” wasn’t the only thing going down that night.

🍎 A special needs teacher with some, um, special needs

💨 Hunter Biden’s ongoing love affair—with crack pipes, not laptops (though those too)

It’s inappropriate, probably illegal, and definitely demonetized. Just the way you like it.

Subscribe, like, and rate us while you still can.

On this week’s episode of The Carbon Footprint, we explore the impact of everything from crime stats to card games to cosmic infidelity. Two mayors somehow reduced homicide rates in cities that were basically real-life Call of Duty maps. The Epstein files? Turns out the explosive reveal landed with all the intensity of a soggy Post-it note. We also ask the hard questions—like what it feels like to get cheated on by Stephen Hawking (spoiler: the betrayal is both emotional and theoretical). And in the biggest gamble of all, Uno is coming to casinos—because nothing says high s...

This week, we plunge headfirst into the moral void—starting with Cristiano Ronaldo, who just inked another Saudi contract big enough to make oil executives blush and human rights quietly weep. Then we introduce the world’s most jealous woman, a walking red flag with night vision goggles and a court order pending. Ever wondered which profession cheats the most? We’ve got the stats—and let’s just say your next physical might include an emotional scar. Finally, BlackRock is suing UnitedHealthcare in a corporate Thunderdome so savage, even Satan called it “a bit much.”

Grab your headphone...

We’re blowing out the candles for the U.S. Army’s birthday (don’t worry, it’s weaponized frosting), then diving into why America might actually have too many people working. Wild, right?

Also on deck:

⚖️ Diddy’s courtroom drama—plot twist: it’s somehow still messier than his parties

🚫 Trump protests that look more like chaotic music festivals

✈️ Migrants getting deported with the efficiency of Amazon Prime

🎉 And enough politically incorrect takes to get us demonetized twice

Tap in for the laughs, stay for the lawsuits. New episodes every...

AI is raising our kids, someone bottled a celebrity's bathwater into soap, and Diddy’s trial is pure madness. We connect the dots between tech, filth, and felony—with dark jokes and zero filters.

Listener discretion? Highly advised.

We’re curing baldness (you’re welcome, LeBron), breaking down the NBA Finals like we have courtside seats and PhDs in talking trash, and diving deep into Walmart’s wild compensation plans — because nothing says “late-stage capitalism” like getting a bonus for not crying in the break room. We also get real about the microscopic range of emotions men are “allowed” to have. Spoiler: it’s mostly hunger and rage. Laughs, feels, and follicle dreams await.

This week on The Carbon Footprint, we tackle the big stuff — like the new Pope (or is he just rebranded?), a 911 operator who’s had enough of your emergencies, and Warren Buffett finally deciding to retire (just in time for the market to crash, probably). Oh, and we get real about the struggle of being Puerto Rican.

Dark humor? Always. Politically correct? Never heard of her.

 If you're easily offended, you're probably listening to the wrong show.

Subscribe, laugh, and lower your expectations — one carbon footprint at a time.

Some of these parents gon learn today, did Shadeur go exactly where he should have, 100 men vs 1 gorilla, and how to get a good deal on a baby.

This week, we light a candle for the Pope (RIP), but don’t worry—we immediately sprint into the world’s first sperm race. From celestial messengers to government gaslighting, we dig into the CIA's latest UFO files, all while giving the Shannon Sharpe case the side-eye it deserves. No filters, no apologies—just raw takes, bad jokes, and zero reverence.

What do extinct animals, international trade policies, and unfortunate baby faces have in common? Absolutely nothing—and that's why this episode is a wild ride. Juan and Sean debate the ethics of de-extinction, untangle the latest on tariffs without putting you to sleep (promise! maybe?), and discuss a baby so ugly, the dad thought it was impossible it was his. Buckle up!

Get these kids to work! The problems with no income tax and familiar faces leading the way in March Madness.

Captain America made a lot of headlines this week, maybe the greatest teacher of all time, where tf are the orphanages and we may never drink Henny again.

IVF babies, skipping out on babies, getting the wrong babies, sticking up for your babies. This episode is a fun one on kids, inspired by Andrew Schulz's new special, Anthony Edwards, and Stephen A Smith.