Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships

You may have seen the viral article 'Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now"? from Vogue circling around. We're giving our two cents on the article: from why are equating social media to life, the difference of having your own identity vs. being embarrassed about having a relationship, and how this article is missing research, depth, and nuance to actually decode a trend on relationships. Let us know your take if you've read the article, or if not, check it out first: https://www.vogue.com/article/is-having-a-boyfriend-embarrassing-now.

Got a dating question you need answered? Hit us up...

Whether it was from a situation you thought was going to become more to your ex of five years, moving on after heartbreak is one of the most challenging parts of finding love. We're here with your breakup bestie Kendra Allen who is joining us to talk about what it looks like to regain your sense of self and come back stronger after heartbreak...to eventually meet the love of your life (or actually get back with your ex in a way that it is sustainable for the long-haul). We discuss how to know whether you made the right...

We're not talking about...they wore a weird belt. Or have three cats. But the REAL red flags that eventually wreck havoc on your relationships and turn into dealbreakers. For anyone dating, this episode is a must (or if you're seeing someone the perfect gut check). We're discussing how to shift our focus onto actual red flags, the 5 each we both see leading to absolute relationship dealbreakers, and why it's important to look out for red flags (pending you're looking for the right ones).

Got a dating question you need answered? Hit us up at hello@dateablepodcast...

Have you ever had a date where it felt like pulling teeth to have a conversation? Or a conflict with your partner where it felt like you were speaking different languages? Join us as we unravel the power of being a super communicator with Charles Duhigg, acclaimed author and expert on interpersonal dynamics. We discuss why communication is the key to chemistry and connection on dates, the three different conversations that can happen at the exact same time (without us even realizing), and techniques you can use to keep the conversation flowing on your dates, messages, and everything in...

The "S" word...the dirtiest word in dating. No one wants to settle. And we're 100% advocating that you never settle again. But all too often we focus on the wrong things when trying not to settle – and sometimes end up settling even more than we realize. We're discussing the ultimate settling paradox, the actual definition of settling, and the two things to do to make sure you never settle again.

Got a dating question you need answered? Hit us up at hello@dateablepodcast.com

Get OUR BOOK + take the Dating Archetypes quiz: https://howtobedateable.com/

Who carries the weight in your relationship or early dates—the calendar, the check-ins, the emotional temperature checks? We're diving into the mental load that happens in modern relationship – and what brings you closer versus take on unnecessary hardship. We're discussing the difference between emotional support, labor and load, the behind-the-scenes effort that shows up even in early dating, and the shifts you can make so you're no longer the one carrying as many emotional burdens (that you may not even be aware of!)

Take the Dating Archetypes quiz now: https://howtobedateable.com/

HOW TO BE DAT...

In the world of dating apps, it's easy to get caught up in the endless cycle of messaging without ever meeting in person. Join us as we explore the art of the ask-out – or hinting at an ask-out if you're reluctant to make the first move. We discuss how to make sure your conversation doesn't go into that dreaded messaging graveyard, the balance between being pursued and taking initiative, and why understanding the limitations of dating apps may actually change your perspective of why you may not be getting asked out as often as you'd like.

Got a d...

Have you ever gotten that unwanted sexual message or pic on a dating app? You're certainly not alone, which is why we need to talk about digital sexual consent and what dating apps are doing about it. We're joined by Dr. Mindy DeSeta, a sexologist and advisor for the dating app Hily, to talk about the shocking types of messages that are sent without consent, what types of safeguards and precautions are being put in place to reduce unsolicited sexual behavior, and why consent actually can help heat up a connection on the apps when used intentionally.

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What's the difference between having standards and not being so picky that there's no one that's good enough to date? Join us as dive into a nuanced look of the fine line that allows you to meet people at your level – while also having an abundance mindset that many good people are out there. We discuss the most picky criteria we've ever heard, how to differentiate between genuine standards and superficial checklists, and how to still get the treatment and love you deserve while being open to the people you meet.

Got a dating question you need an...

Do you ever feel like you are unconsciously seeking the unavailable type and you don't know how to break the pattern? We're chatting with Drea who had a history of dating emotionally unavailable partners about how she started dating differently – by recognizing the real red flags to look for and also taking accountability for her choices. We discuss ways you can actually abandon yourself when you settle for this type of relationship, the behavior you no longer stand for, and the on-going journey it takes to heal your past so you can have the future you want.

Fo...

With so much focus on the early stages of dating, we're often so focused on the lies we've been told about falling in love that we miss the bigger picture. Join us as we decipher fantasy from reality as we explore the idea of finding the ideal type of partner and what it takes to build an actual relationship. We discuss why the whole concept of "finding love" is flawed to begin with, the difference between a growth mindset and a destiny mindset, and the shifts to make to find not a perfect partner, but the most perfect partner...

Is the biggest change in 2025 in dating...the anger? It certainly feels like it! We're chatting with Jared and Jordana, the hosts of the U Up? podcast about the shifts they've noticed in dating over the last decade – and also the big changes in their own love lives. We're discussing the influences around dating that are adding to the negativity, what happens when you aren't where you thought you'd be by a certain age, and how coffee dates are back in for 2025 (you heard it here first).

Follow Jared at @jaredfreid, Jordana @jordanaabraham and U Up? @u.up...

Are mixed signals a sign of disinterest or just poor communication? We're diving into the confusing world of hot and cold behavior in dating – and what it really means. Join us as we explore why mixed signals might not mean what you think, how to address them directly, and why clarity is key in any relationship. Plus, we're sharing personal stories and insights on how to navigate these tricky situations and avoid unnecessary dating games.

Got a dating question you need answered? Hit us up at hello@dateablepodcast.com

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We're told to be independent but not too independent...so what's the line between what helps us preserve our autonomy versus what keeps us out of partnership? We're diving into this topic that's near and dear to our hearts as two people who have built our own lives, boundaries and identities...yet still want to open ourselves up fully to another human being. We're being brutally honest about the areas that we struggle with vs what feels more like natural integration, signs of healthy independence, and how to strive for the sweet spot of interdependence with a partner.

Date them til you hate them. Is this a brilliant strategy or a complete cop out? We're discussing the latest viral TikTok dating trend and why it may or may not help you move on from someone faster. Join us as we chat about why this actually prolongs pain for both parties involved the counter strategy that actually could help you decide if someone is right for you, and why TikTok should NOT be the place we're going for dating advice (unless you want to stay single forever). Plus we're responding to some feedback from last week's episode related...

What happens when you want to shift the way you date completely? You come up with a plan that's so counter to the way we date today that it may be construed as controversial to some (true story!). We're joined with our guest Raymond who is sharing his new dating plan – and why he got to the place of making one in the first place. We're discussing how to outline a more defined, intentional approach that will either be a game-changing way to date (or at a minimum, a daring experiment), the difference between having a vision of the way...

It may feel like everyone is looking for something casual or non-committal but the reality is that there are people looking for exactly what you are. We're diving into why it's a myth that no one wants monogamous relationships anymore and how you can stay true to your own needs/ desires, sift out the people who are not on the same page, and focus on the ones who are. We discuss how to shift out of the 'there's no one good out there' mentality, where to find like-minded people, and how to get clear about what you really want...

What happens when you can't seem to find any good people to date? Your app dates are blah and it feels like you just aren't meeting the right people IRL. We're talking to Cassidy Davis, the creator of Chaotic Singles Party, of how she went from tragically single (her words!) to meeting her finance by taking matters into her own hands by inviting 65 guys off Tinder for a house party – and then making these into recurring events. We're discussing how we can all live by the 'if you make it, they will come' mentality (even if you don't want to...

It's hard not to take dating personally. But the reality is that most people WON'T be matches – and if they don't text back, don't want to go on another date, or don't want to enter a serious committed relationship, most times it has nothing to do with you. So join us in this #brunchtalk to discuss why can shift our mindset to approach dating with a lighter heart, the spectrum of taking accountability for personal growth versus viewing everything as a reflection of yourself, and how to use "it's not you, it's them" as a way to lead to mor...

How do you choose a partner that's a good match for you? We're joined with Eli Finkel, social psychologist and the Director of the Relationship & Motivation Lab at Northwestern University to debunk what matters and what doesn't when it comes to compatibility in relationships. We're discussing why initial shared interests and similar personalities might not be the strongest predictors of long-term satisfaction, the importance of the Michelangelo Effect, and how compatibility can be built even in the early stages of dating.

Learn more about Eli Finkel and check out his podcast 'Love Factually" with Paul Eastwick and...

Yup, you heard us right. You don't need to be good at dating – at least the way we're dating today. We're back for all new brunch talk to dive into why after 10 years of doing a dating podcast, we believe that we're actually doing more that fosters disconnection than actual connection in today's dating world. Sure you can't be an utter train wreck, but we're talking about why some of the most common dating strategies fail, the three skills you don't actually need to build, and quick tweaks that instantly get you better results – and real connections.

Got a...

We're back for SEASON 21 and we're reporting on the next biggest shift in dating, that takes dating intentionally one step further – and also removes the challenges that more 'purpose-driven' dating has caused in the last couple of years. So it's time to wake the f up as we shift into a world of conscious dating that in turn lead to relationships that have a level of depth and connection beyond our wildest dreams. We're discussing the core differences with dating intentionally, how to align your relationships with your highest self, and what it means to be in a conscious rel...

Sure you want someone interested but can they be too interested? Or has anyone every told you that you come off too eager? In this week's #brunchtalk episode, we're discussing the perception of interest in dating, how to move forward if someone shares this type of feedback with you, and ways that you can evaluate your own approach to dating based on how you evaluate interest levels.

Got a dating question you need answered? Hit us up at hello@dateablepodcast.com

Get OUR BOOK + take the Dating Archetypes quiz: https://howtobedateable.com/

Follow...

We're one week away from Season 21....so what else would we do but reminisce about our 21st birthdays as we usher in a new season of Dateable! But before the season begins, we're airing an episode we did with John Kim that talks about the complexities of modern dating, how cultural differences come into play, and the evolution of relationships in the digital age. We dive into the evolving definitions of love, the challenges of healthy relationships, share practical advice for becoming more dateable, and much more. 

Follow John @theangrytherapist, listen to The Angry Therapist Podcast, and c...

You finally found someone you're into who is also into you. Until out of nowhere – it all blows up. If you've been here before, you know how painful it feels when it seems like the the rug was just pulled from under you unexpectedly We're breaking down the reasons this may happen and how to handle the emotional turmoil that comes from this. We discuss how to get closure without necessarily needing to know why this happened, the benefits of relationship check-ins expediting underlying issues, and ways to learn but not let these situation hold you back.

Got...

What if when dating there are certain things getting in your way that are tempting in ways you may not expect? We're talking with our dear friend psychotherapist Ken Page about how our current dating culture sets people up to fail - and what to do about it. We're talking about the 5 dating archetypes, how to avoid the validation trap when dating, and the most important lessons to apply to your dating life today.

Follow Ken @deeperdating, listen to Deeper Dating Podcast, and learn more about Ken here: https://deeperdatingpodcast.com/

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So you met someone awesome...but...they aren't ready to define the relationship or stop seeing other people. Do you wait? Date other people? Hold back sex or other intimacy? We're diving into how to handle one of the biggest challenges in dating – when one person is ready to have a relationship and the other isn't quite there We're discussing why it's essential take what people say at face value when dating, how to move forward with clarity and purpose, and ways to prioritize your needs so you don't settle.

Got a dating question you need answered? Hi...

If you're in the thick of heartbreak (or have been before) know that there is hope! Yes, you absolutely can come back stronger after this period of grief – even if it doesn't feel like it right now. We're sharing an interview we did with Heather McG about our personal stories of heartbreak and the lessons learned from past relationships. Join us as we chat about what to do when we feel stuck from one too many negative experiences, how to confront heartbreak in a way that leads to personal development, and why every ending leads to a better, new beg...

Dating should be fun! But it also should be intentional....especially if you're looking for a life partner. With all these conflicting messages, it's hard to know the expectation of a first date anymore....especially when you reach your 30s and people are looking for something more serious. We're breaking down the difference between self-imposed pressure and the organic evolution when dating, how to balance fun and deep conversations, and ways to make your intentions more known to be seen as a serious prospect – even if you want to keep the first couple dates relatively chill.

Got a d...

What happens when you're trying to be Dateable....yet not finding anyone of interest? We're re-airing one of our fave interviews with the fabulous Damona Hoffman as we go into getting out of that dating rut, finding the necessary clarity to move forward in your love life, and how to start connecting deeper on dates. Plus, Damona answers the question: Now that I’ve stopped chasing unavailable men, I can’t seem to find anyone that I am attracted to. What do I do? Enjoy!

Follow Damona @damonahoffman and listen to 'Dates & Mates' wherever you get your podc...

They're texting every day, replying quickly, and making plans...everything's running smoothly until one day it just stops. In this week's #brunchtalk, we're discussing one of the most common dating dilemmas: inconsistency. We're discussing the reasons behind this behavior, why we have to communicate our needs and expectations effectively, and how to establish standards that help you find the right person.

Got a dating question you need answered? Hit us up at hello@dateablepodcast.com

Get OUR BOOK + take the Dating Archetypes quiz: https://howtobedateable.com/

Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check...

From dating books like 'The Rules' to TikToker's giving dating advice, we're here to say the rules don't freaking work – yet they are so much more engrained in all of us than we may even think. If you're debating when to text next, finding the "right" time to have sex or strategically keeping dates short, then it's likely these dating "rules" are actually keeping you stuck. We're joining Talia Koren on her podcast 'Dating Intentionally' to chat about what vulnerability is and isn't, how to tell if you've been playing relationship chicken this whole time and tips for being mor...

Ever feel like you just can't move past those first couple dates or actually get into a committed relationship? You're not alone. Join us this week as we discuss why it's so common to feel this way – even when the reality is that most date's don't turn into more! We're discussing what metrics to focus on when quantifying dating "success", why dating apps have changed the dynamics of dating, and how you can shift the focus so you're more realistic (and optimistic!) about finding love.

Get OUR BOOK + take the Dating Archetypes quiz: https://howtobedateable.com/

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We're officially on the off-season and kicking it off with some life updates from both of us. We recap the first part of 2025 – from our book tour to potential moves to wedding planning. Join us as we debrief about our favorite parts of the year so far and what has been a challenge. Enjoy!

Get OUR BOOK + take the Dating Archetypes quiz: https://howtobedateable.com/

Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content. Also listen to our other podcast Exit Interview available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get you...

We're back with some of our most popular #brunchtalks and a question we always get is: what should I do if they say they like me but they just aren't ready right now for a relationship? Should I stay and give it more time or just let it go? In this week's #brunchtalk episode, we're discussing how to navigate this tricky situation, especially when it's more of an external factor keeping your relationship from progressing. We discuss the pros/cons of waiting for someone to get their sh*t together, how to reframe the situation to focus on your...

What if we were to tell you there's a way to find the right partner that doesn't feel like you're looking for a needle in a haystack where you will absolutely never settle. In our season finale, we saved one our favorite topics from our book 'How to Be Dateable': our perfect partner equation. We discuss the three core components of this equation, how they're different than your typical list, and why we believe it's entirely possible for you to find someone perfectly imperfect for you. Enjoy!

Get OUR BOOK + take the Dating Archetypes quiz: https://howtobedateable...

Yue almost walked out of the movie Materialists...it may be one of Julie's favorite movies of all times. Whether you've seen it or not, we're having a debate about the messaging and takeaways of the movie as it pertains to modern dating, financial disparities in relationships, height surgery, and the matchmaking industry. We're revealing our true feelings of matchmaking from our own experiences and hope you enjoy this heated debate! And if you saw the movie, let us know what you thought...we'll be putting up some Spotify & Instagram polls. Enjoy!

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What happens when you meet the love of your life but then the relationship completely falls apart not long after you get married? You learn what you probably needed to know lonnng before you tied the knot! We're joined with Casey & Meygan from Marriage365 to talk about how their relationship nearly collapsed – and what they did to get it back on track. We're discussing the green/red flags when picking a partner, the modern myths that almost ruined their marriage, and what you need to know about marriage even if you are single AF right now. Plus we give a r...

You met someone amazing. The chemistry is incredible and you really enjoy their company. So this is obviously headed into relationship territory, right? Not always...We're discussing if your situationship could actually turn into a relationship or if it's stuck in casual territory. We're discussing what to do when you aren't fully aligned with what a relationship entails, how to gain clarity into what you actually want and need from a partner, and why everything can't fall into place dammit!

Take the Dating Archetypes quiz now: https://howtobedateable.com/

HOW TO BE DATEABLE IS OUT...

Ever want to pick the brain of a matchmaker? Well we're about to as we're joined with Matchmaker Maria to discuss her journey as a fourth-generation matchmaker and what it's like to be a matchmaker in today's world. We're discussing the pivotal quality she bases her matches on, how the 12 date rule can set you up for success, and why it's important to take the 5 different levels of compatibility into account when picking a partner.

To learn more about Matchmaker Maria follow her @matchmakermaria, listen to 'Ask A Matchmaker' podcast and get her book 'Ask a Matchmaker<...