Judge John Hodgman

It's time to clear the docket! And we have a BRAND NEW GAVEL to help! Thanks to Nick Offerman, Offerman Woodshop, and project Manager Maddy Morrison for our beautiful new gavel. This Court has never been more ready to dispense justice! What do you do with your mother-in-law’s bag of mangoes? Is it okay to talk trash while playing video games, as long as it’s to internet strangers? Plus, disputes about gavels and woodworking!

We’re still looking for all your turn-of-the-season disputes! Are you excited for football, and your housemates aren’t? Do you love goi...

Leora brings the case against her husband, Sam. Sam once brought home a SURPRISE fish tank. Sam and the kids love it, but not Leora! To add insult to injury, Sam brought home two surprise shrimp - ostensibly to clean the tank. Leora wants Sam to talk to her before adding more pets to the home, but Sam says that shrimp aren’t pets - they’re part of the tank’s filtration system! Who’s right? Who’s wrong?

To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at reddit.com...

Dustin brings the case against his wife, Erin. Before they got married, Dustin agreed to watch Gilmore Girls with Erin - if SHE would read the first book in the Wheel of Time Series. Ten years later, Dustin has watched Gilmore Girls in its entirety several times. But Erin still has not read ONE Wheel of Time! Does Erin “owe” Dustin? Or is watching a cozy cute show that they both enjoy not comparable to Erin slogging through a fantasy series that has failed to hold her interest? With Guest Bailiff Monte Belmonte!

Thank you to u/MDDa...

Fresh off our Hot Dog-cket episode last week with Jamie Loftus, we can’t stop thinking about HOT DOGS! What better time is there than to bring back one of our favorite episodes of all time: AMICUS BRIEF!

Casey files suit against his friend, Sean. They go to baseball games together a lot. Casey says that Sean’s antics at the games cause great stress. One of the more appalling antics, says Casey, is the time Sean brought his own hot dogs into the stadium. Sean says that he is well within his rights to do this. Who’...

Hot dog, hot dog, hot DIGGIDY DOG! We have the Hot Dog Expert of all Hot Dog Experts in chambers with us to clear an ALL-HOT DOG DOCKET! Or, a hot DOG-cket! That's right, we got JAMIE LOFTUS (RAW DOG: The Naked Truth About Hot Dogs, Sixteenth Minute, Aack Cast)! Jamie helps us advise on questions like: is ketchup ever okay on a hot dog? What about mayonnaise? Why do condiments on hot dogs provoke such strong reactions - heck, why are hot dogs themselves so polarizing? She also dives in to the history of competitive hot dog eating...

What is the best way to ripen a tomato? Jay says that a tomato is best eaten straight off the vine, hot from the sun, with a little salt. His wife, Gina, says that while that sounds lovely, if they let their tomatoes ripen on the vine, the local wildlife will get to them first! She likes to pick them as they start to ripen and finish the process inside a paper bag with a banana. Jay wants her to stop being a premature picker. Gina says a bag-ripened tomato is better than no tomato at all! Who's right...

Summer is almost over, which means we’re going BACK to school - Judge John Hodgman style. We’re clearing the docket of all your pressing (and not so pressing) back-to-school-related disputes: from extracurriculars to PTA conflicts, and most importantly, how to keep class supplies IN the classroom. Follow along as Judge John and Bailiff Jesse Thorn rule on cases like: should you force your daughter to take part in debate club, because she loves to debate…with you? Can PTA social gatherings be at a family-friendly brewery, or should they stick to alcohol-free (ish) locations like your local park...

Dan says his fiancée, Elissa, sleeps poorly and that her bedtime laptop use is to blame! But she says playing video games on her laptop HELPS her sleep! They quiet her anxious thoughts and help her wind down. Dan wants to keep all screens out of the bed. He says, “If you bring the laptop into bed, I’M SLEEPING DOWNSTAIRS!” Who’s right? Who’s wrong?

Thanks to reddit user u/spinynorman82 for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at reddit.com/r...

Natalie brings the case against her boyfriend, Mike. Mike has been living the Sharper Image dream for the last 12 years: his own in-home massage chair! It’s not just a source of relaxation for him. Mike says it’s a fun piece that makes visiting their home a unique experience! But Natalie doesn’t want their home to offer guests a unique experience. She wants their guests to have a comfortable seat that doesn’t need to be turned on to enjoy. It’s time to let the chair go. Who’s right? Who’s wrong?

Thanks to reddit user u...

If you win "Best Feature" at a film festival, but the festival doesn't give you a trophy, can you make your own trophy? Or is that too cringe? Spouses and filmmakers Kaye and Mariel disagree! Their film THE REBRAND (trailer here) won several film festival awards! But most of the festival organizations did not provide trophies, or any physical representation of the win for that matter. Kaye wants to design and 3-D print her own trophies to commemorate the occasion, and to serve as a reminder that "they like her They really like her!" But, while Mariel is proud...

VROOM VROOM! Buckle your seatbelts and pile in our station wagon, because this week’s episode is all about ROAD TRIPS! From passenger etiquette to divvying up the driving duties, we’re covering any and all disputes related to car travel. Should you divide up driving duties by hour or by mile? Which is the better way to road trip: getting to your destination faster or stopping and enjoying the sights - and potential ice cream - along the way? And when you’re a passenger, should you point out the sights along the road, or shut up and let th...

Andie is tired of James leaving breakable items in peril! He plates, microwave dishes full of hot food, and even his ipad hanging on the edge of their countertops and tables. James says it’s easier to pick up items when they are not flush with the surface. But it stresses Andie out! She’s worried one errant hip bump will send all the hot food flying. James argues that saving a plate from crashing to the floor is the ULTIMATE thrill. Who's right?

Thanks to reddit user u/banjo_solo for naming this week’s case! To sug...

It’s summertime, so we’re opening the member mailbag! We’ve pulled the greatest hits from our Members Only Mailbag, to give you a taste of the unfiltered JUSTICE that our members get every month. In this episode, we talk about: picking up critters in the wild, state birds, cutting a sandwich, and goth parts of Los Angeles. Plus, a classic dispute of night owl versus early bird... and hanging drywall? Judge John Hodgman, Bailiff Jesse Thorn, and Producer Jennifer Marmor (aka the J Squad) weigh in on all these issues and more!

Love the mailbag, and wa...

It’s the Members Only May Mailbag! This month: the science of moving with a moving truck, cross-country tandem bike rides, and much more! Plus, producer Jennifer gets a new catchphrase! Here's a bit from this month's episode. If you want to listen to the rest, head to your bonus content feed!

Not a member yet? You can become a member TODAY at maximumfun.org/join. Just $5 a month gets you immediate access to the full episode and our entire library of bonus content.

And thank you to all of our members for keeping this sho...

Marc is Jewish, and Marianne is Catholic. Together with their extended family (and friends!) they celebrate a LOT of holidays. The dispute? When a holiday falls in the middle of the week, as many Jewish holidays do, Marc would prefer to celebrate them on a Saturday night instead, so more of their loved ones can join. But Marianne says no! It's not kosher! Who's right?

Thanks to reddit user u/lexfri for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at reddit.com/r/ma...

We are excited to share this very special bonus episode featuring our trip to Tijuana and the border wall with the non-profit group Al Otro Lado. If you'd rather watch the full video version of this episode, tap here. Al Otro Lado is a bi-national organization that provides free legal and humanitarian aid to immigrants, deportees, and separated families. Thanks to the leadership of Jesse Thorn and his wife,  Theresa Thorn, and especially to all of our listeners, we were able to raise over $400,000 to support Al Otro Lado’s humanitarian and legal efforts. Join us as we travel to...

Erich brings the case against his wife, Allison. When they first started dating, they had a tradition called the "safety kiss." If they were driving anywhere, they would check their seatbelts, secure the dogs, and then kiss each other for safety.

They are now expecting their first child. Erich wants to reinstitute the Safety Kiss tradition. But Allison is opposed! She doesn’t want to teach her child to be fearful and superstitious. Also: when she kisses Erich, she burps. Who’s right? Who’s wrong?

Thanks to reddit user u/fille_philadelphie for naming this w...

Is Butter Pecan ice cream for old people? Or is it a flavor for all ages? It's time to clear the docket of all your coldest Ice Cream Queries. Is it okay to lie to a restaurant and tell them it’s your birthday to get free dessert? What should you do when your spouse and kids eat all your vegan ice cream - even though you buy them dairy ice cream too? What’s the best way to eat an ice cream sandwich? Plus, we get into the history of vanilla (yes, it’s a flavor!), chocolate-covered bugs in ice...

Dying to see Judge John Hodgman live? We have the episode for you! We’re flashing it back to our live show, ROAD COURT in Los Angeles. Join Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn for the most unhinged, off-the-cuff, wild live show - that also dispenses pure, unadulterated JUSTICE. We are excited to release this never-before-seen episode from our bonus feed to all of our listeners.

NIGHT COURT is coming to the Coolidge Corner Theatre in Brookline, MA on June 11th! That’s right, New Englanders, you have a chance to experience the all-new live show from...

It's the Members Only May Mailbag! This month, our favorite nostalgic commercials, the correct way to organize bookshelves with a partner, go-to summer jams and so much more in the mailbag! 

Not a member yet? You can become a member TODAY at maximumfun.org/join. Just $5 a month gets you immediate access to the full episode and our entire library of bonus content.

And thank you to all of our members for keeping this show going!

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Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Become a member to unlock special bonus episodes an...

Trish flushes soup down the toilet! But her friend, Marlow, wants to stop Trish from ever flushing food ever again. Trish says this is a perfectly reasonable way to dispose of soup! Who’s right? Who’s wrong?

NIGHT COURT is coming to the Coolidge Corner Theatre in Brookline, MA on June 11th!

Have a dispute that you can’t settle? No dispute is too small for the honorable Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn! Submit your cases directly to the court at: maximumfun.org/jjho

Thanks to reddit user u/ironymaiden_ for nam...

Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn are clearing the docket this week with guest star Rachel Reid, author of the Game Changers romance novel series that spawned the viral television sensation, HEATED RIVALRY! 

Rachel joins us in passing judgement on all things romance-tok, like: what’s a better trope, friends to lovers or enemies to lovers? What’s the weirdest romance-novel trope she’s ever read? And what’s a good entry-level romance novel to convince your judgemental book group? Also, Rachel shares what it was like to “come out” as a romance novelist to her parents, her...

Ben and Grayson have a weekly movie night with their friend group. When the movie ends, the group watches odd videos they discover on the internet.

This extra viewing has led both Ben and Grayson down a public television rabbit hole. Ben found the Pennsylvania public television game show THE PENNSYLVANIA GAME. He says it’s a perfect public television quiz show. But, Grayson says the game play in the Keystone State is weak. The Maine PBS show SO YOU THINK YOU KNOW MAINE is a much better game show. Who’s right? Who’s wrong? 

Thank...

Is giving a "bouquet of asparagus" the same as giving a bouquet of flowers? How much screen time is too much on a flight? Is quiche good? All this and more, recorded live from Revolution Hall in Portland, Oregon!

If you're in LA or Brookline, catch JJHO: NIGHT COURT LIVE! Don't miss out. For LA tickets on 5/15 click here, and for Brookline tickets on 6/11 click here.

Thanks to reddit user u/lovegiblet for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at re...

KLAXON! KLAXON! It’s the MaxFunDrive!  The best time of year for you to become a Maximum Fun member! Memberships start at just $5 a month, which gives you access to our entire library of bonus content. And for just $10 a month, you can get JJHo AD FREE! Join NOW at maximumfun.org/join! Whether you are a brand new member, current member upgrading, or longtime member at whichever level where you feel comfortable, THANK YOU FOR CONTINUING TO KEEP JJHO GOING!

Lex brings the case against his wife, Lauren. Lauren is serious about getting her steps in - e...

KLAXON! KLAXON! It’s the MaxFunDrive! Join us now at maximumfun.org/joinjjho! And if you are already a member, THANK YOU FOR CONTINUING TO KEEP JJHO GOING!

It's the middle of the MaxFunDrive! Have you heard our bonus episode for this year? The J Squad asked the audience for their favorite snacks that they might go for when they have "the munchies." What are you reaching for at the corner store at 2am? What concoctions are you putting together with whatever you can find in the pantry? Then, we tried them!

Popcorn and mix-ins, Cru...

KLAXON! KLAXON! It's the MaxFunDrive!  The best time of year for you to become a Maximum Fun member! Memberships start at just $5 a month, which gives you access to our entire library of bonus content. Our special MFD bonus episode this year is "Judge John Hodgman Gets the Munchies!"

We tried some of our audience's favorite, if not creative and shocking, munchies. But, if we get 350 NEW members by the end of Friday, 4/24, John, Jesse, and Jennifer will eat one munchie that was too scary for us to contemplate: A Peanut Butter and Spicy Tuna sandwich. Join u...

It's MaxFunDrive. And here, for the first time, we give you an exclusive look (well, listen) at the craft of podcasting: presenting Casters on Casters.

Jesse Thorn and Judge John Hodgman know a thing or two about podcasting, and in this very important podcasting event, they reveal ALL the tricks of the trade. They're joined by podcasting veterans Stuart Wellington & Dan McCoy (The Flop House). It goes without saying these four gentlemen have a very funny, and delightful, conversation. But they also get vulnerable. What does that mean? You'll have to listen to find out!

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It's time to clear the docket! Is your husband allowed to text you during the workday? Is your sister lying about a honeydew allergy? What is the correct number of lamps? All this and much more, including the best diss we ever heard yelled at a parade.

Have a dispute that you can’t settle? Are you a hockey lover, a book-tok lover, or just…a lover in general? We are gathering your most HEATED Rivalries slash disputes for a very special upcoming episode. We’ll pass judgment on everything from hockey etiquette to your favorite literary smut...

Stephanie brings the case against her husband, Lee. They live in one half of a duplex. It’s a side-by-side, two-family home in New Orleans that’s been in Lee’s family since the 70s. The other side is used by Lee’s mother and other relatives. Stephanie says it’s inconvenient to go outside from one unit to the other. She yearns for a door inside, connecting the two halves. But Lee says KEEP DREAMING. He says Stephanie's idea is ridiculous. He wants to close the non-adjoining door on the topic forever. Who's right? Who's wrong? 

Thanks to r...

David sets a phone alarm for all of his tasks. Not a reminder. An alarm. In the clock app. His sister and coworker, Lisa, is tired of hearing these alarms! They are too disruptive. She wants him to write out a to-do list instead. But David says his system is already perfect! Who’s right? Who’s wrong?

Watch Lisa and David's videos about Lisa's organization, David's babysitter instructions, and other workplace sketches at youtube.com/@McDivittLaw.

You have just a couple more days to order the “And I’m Gay” t-shirt from the episode JUGGERNAUT...

It's time for the March Members Only Mailbag! What is the deal with carbonated lemonade?! Is it acceptable to serve at a party? Or should the host be more concerned with non-carbonated beverages for people who don't like bubbles? This and much more in the mailbag! For the full episode, check out the members-only bonus content feed!

Not a member yet? You can become a member TODAY at maximumfun.org/join. Just $5 a month gets you immediate access to our full library of bonus content.

Thank you to all of our members for keeping this s...

Garrett and Kara like to play board games together. Early in their relationship, they agreed to one rule: They will not harm each other’s gameplay. This way, they can keep their game nights relaxed and friendly. Kara, a former Texan, wants to spice things up a bit by going back to a more aggressive form of play. Garrett, a conflict-avoidant midwesterner, is worried that competition will ruin their good time! Is Kara actually a sore loser, or is Garrett afraid of what might happen when he unleashes his inner beast?

Our "And I'm Gay" t-shirt is ST...

Patty loves the X-MEN. A lot. His mom, Cordelia, says that Patty turns every conversation into an X-MEN “lore dump.” She wants him to scale back on the X-MEN chat. But he wants to be understood! Who’s right? Who’s wrong?

We did it. We made a T-shirt in honor of Patty's stunning poem, "The sky is blue / the grass is green / I love X-MEN / and I'm gay." With gorgeous art by Sonny Ross, this shirt is available for a limited time! You have until April 3 to get this tee for yourself or the queer, Marvel-loving person in...

If you sent us a case about Pokémon Go in 2016, stay in line! You know the saying, "Justice delayed is justice denied." We attempt to clear the docket of some of our oldest, unanswered disputes. Should you go to a second restaurant for a separate dessert? Is it okay to want to be buried in a Fiat? Is teaching your children a secret family language fun or annoying? And, of course: should your girlfriend be ordered to come out and play Pokémon Go? If you spot yourself in these queries, PLEASE let us know how they played ou...

Mike brings the case against his coworker Brooke. Brooke wants to play baseball with her colleagues in a casual, recreational setting. She would love Mike to be part of this group. But he won’t step foot on the field unless it’s a softball field. Brooke says baseball and softball are essentially the same game! Just play ball! But, Mike strongly disagrees. 

For Mike's full, unedited presentation, click here.

BROOKLYN! See you this weekend at the Bell House for NIGHT COURT! Get your tickets here: Friday, March 6, Saturday, March 7

Thanks to reddit user u...

How late is too late to do household projects like hanging a sheet of drywall? The J Squad discusses this and much more in this month's Members Only Mailbag episode. Never listened to our mailbag episodes? Here's what they sound like. For the full episode, check out the members-only bonus content feed!

Not a member yet? You can become a member TODAY at maximumfun.org/join. Just $5 a month gets you immediate access to our full library of bonus content.

Thank you to all of our members for keeping this show going!

...

Andy brings the case against his fiancé Kevin, aka World Famous Drag Queen Monét X Change. Andy says he met Monét outside of RuPaul's DragCon in New York City back in 2018. Andy was enchanted. Their first date didn’t happen for another few years. But for Andy, this meeting is a crucial part of their love story. The problem? Monét says that it NEVER HAPPENED. Who's right?

BROOKLYN! Join Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn LIVE at The Bell House for NIGHT COURT (no, not that one)! Get your tickets here: Friday, March 6, Saturday...

Michele brings the case against her husband, Nate. Michele and Nate are living the childfree dream: three cats, two dogs, and a Subaru Baja. They have it all. But Michele wants more pets! Nate has two cars and a motorcycle. Michele says that if they are embracing vehicle maximalism, it’s only fair to embrace pet maximalism. Nate says they have enough pets for now. Who’s right? Who’s wrong? With Guest Bailiff Jean Grae!

BROOKLYN! Join Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn LIVE at The Bell House for NIGHT COURT (no, not that one)! Get yo...

Stephanie wants Brandon to admit that she’s lived in 11 states, damnit, and not deny her lived experience! Brandon counters with the fact that Japan isn’t a state (valid) and that living in a state for college…doesn’t count? Who's right? Who's wrong?

BROOKLYN! Join Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn LIVE at The Bell House for NIGHT COURT (no, not that one)! Get your tickets here: Friday, March 6, Saturday, March 7

Thanks to reddit user u/mkbecker for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on th...