Parenting Decoded

Transform your back-to-school shopping from a budget-busting headache to an opportunity for teaching financial responsibility. I share how I went from spending $100 per child on school supplies to $50 while teaching my kids valuable money lessons in the process.

• Set a firm budget before looking at supply lists and commit to not exceeding it
• Give kids their budget in actual cash so they can physically see their spending limits
• Let them keep whatever they don't spend as an incentive to make smart choices
• Apply the same system to clothes shopping to extend the financial learning
• Ev...

Summer break intensifies the screen time battle with teens and tweens, but shifting from screen time enforcer to screen time strategist can transform your approach and relationship with your kids.

You should head over to the Screenagers website for the full blog post "Screen Time and Parental Controls: Simple Tips for a Smoother Summer." but I'm including a brief synopsis in this podcast to help entice you to do that. 

Key Steps for a Smooth Screen Summer:
• Trust and verify instead of secretly spying on your children's digital act...

Parenting Decoded welcomes McCall Gordon to tackle one of parenting’s toughest questions: Why won’t my kid sleep? Her book is aimed at parents of "livewires" — kids who are more alert, intense, and emotionally reactive than average, making traditional sleep advice ineffective.

McCall explains that temperament plays a huge role in sleep struggles — some kids just have a harder time winding down. These children are perceptive, persistent, and often lack typical “sleepy cues” like yawning. Instead, they need more support and a customized sleep strategy.

She encourages parents to stop blaming themselves. These kids aren’t “bad”...

Tackling the age-old parenting challenge of getting kids to do their chores requires a systematic approach rather than nagging or giving up. We explore a six-step process focused on bedroom cleanup that can transform your family's approach to household responsibilities.

• Breaking down "clean your room" into specific tasks like making the bed, putting clothes in hamper, and picking up toys
• Creating separate lists for daily versus weekly tasks to make expectations more manageable
• Letting children choose when they'll complete their chores (morning, evening, specific days for weekly tasks)
• Setting up clear consequences tied to things k...

In this episode, we tackle the important issue of childhood sexual abuse and how to help prevent it. By educating ourselves as parents, we can provide our children with the tools they need to protect themselves.

• Discuss the prevalence of childhood sexual abuse statistics 
• Explore the need for children to know proper terminology for body parts 
• Encourage open lines of communication about consent and boundaries 

Let's work together to change statistics and protect our children.

Here is the full article from AAP:

https://www.contemporarypediatrics.com/view/aap-tips-for-teaching-children-about-body-boundaries-and-safety

Email m...

Does your child have a problem with what's in their backpack?   You know,  those papers that are wrinkled at the bottom?  Maybe a permission slip?  Or possibly a banana? 
 
Or how about the things that are NOT in their backpack?  Do they forget to put their homework in?  Or maybe their lunch or water bottle? 

In this podcast take a new approach!

We want it to be THEIR fault in their minds.  It’s ok that there’s a problem, it’s just not ok if they blame others. But, if we touch their b...

For some families having lots of Halloween candy floating around our homes causes stress and strain.  In this podcast learn some tricks for treating your whole family to a more fun and happy experience as you learn to set limits and boundaries while giving lots of choices and, occassionally, letting your kids make poor decisions.  

Email me at info@parentingdecoded.com or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com.

Have a blessed rest of your day!

Hearing the phrase "secure attachment" makes us think of some academic thesis.  BORING!  Well,  I want to help flip that idea in our minds to "CRUCIAL".  Yes,  having our kids see us as stable, reliable and empathetic beings in their lives is ESSENTIAL.  In this podcast episode I talk to Eli Harwood, a therapist and "attachment nerd", as she calls herself on social media.  We talk about how in her book, Raising Securely Attached Kids, you can learn to build a stable and trusting environment for our kids so they will thrive and grow. 

In h...

 How much can a 2-, 3- or 4-year-old do?  What can they do?  They’re so little, right?  A toddler?  A preschooler?  What’s reasonable?  What’s not?   Are you doing too much as a parent?  

 All good questions for sure that most of us struggle with!  In this podcast we explore what’s reasonable to encourage and train young kids to do from chores to life skills that will build self-confidence and independence. 

Here's the list of ideas we cover: 
 Personal accomplishments:

Getting teens and tweens to talk to parents is an age old battle the repeats itself over and over again with each new generation.  Times change but our teens wanting independence from us doesn't. 

In this episode learn some tips and tricks for how to get our kids to relax and just enjoy being with us so that they'll open up and want to trust us. 

There is a list of activities and how to use them to break down the barriers and engage your teens and tweens that should lead to building trusting relationships.

Kids of all ages need to feel connected and loved unconditionally.  How can you set up a system in your family for creating and keeping those connections?  In this podcast we go over connections for kids between 2 and 10.  The next podcast covers what you can do for teens and tweens, a much harder demographic than younger kids who still think the world of you. 

In this episode we explore ideas on how to have regular "quick" connections on a daily or weekly basis while also considering longer "dates" with our kids.  We talk about how the intention is fo...

Grumpy kids can really put your home into a foul mood.  What can we do to help tame these dark clouds and bring some sunshine back into our lives?

In this episode we'll cover these four steps:

Step 1 – Keep Your Cool 

Step 2 – Offer Empathy and Hugs 

Step 3 - Fix the Broken Connection 

Step 4 – Go on a Trigger Quest and Brainstorm

The transcript for this episode is HERE

Here are the resources mentioned in the podcast:

Parents struggle with how to motivate their children toward certain behaviors. Typically rewards and bribes are used. 

In this episode learn about when bribes and rewards are most likely to motivate your child.  There are pros and cons of both types of motivations.  Bribes tend to reinforce negative behaviors, while rewards are commonly thought of as something that's planned ahead and well-thought-out, used for positive behaviors. 

However, sometimes our plans backfire!  When? How? What do we do?  Listen and learn!

Click HERE for a written transcript on my website. 

Em...

Kids being bullied isn't new.  What's new is the extent at which they are being bullied and, with the internet, in new and harmful ways.  

In this episode, we'll cover the different types of bullying:
Verbal - teasing, name-calling, taunting, etc.,
Social - spreading rumors, leaving kids out, embarrassing them, etc.
Physical - hitting, spitting, tripping, etc. 
Cyberbullying - using digital devices to cause others harm

Why does bullying occur?

What can families do?

How you can role-play and brainstorm with your child.  

Here are reso...

Do you have an anxious child?   Does it worry you or drive you crazy?  Either way you need to listen to this podcast!

Learn about the 4 different types of anxiety, then the 4 parenting traps that we fall into when we attempt to "help" that wind up having negative impacts.

In this podcast, hear from Stephanie Pinto, founder of Let’s Raise Emotionally Intelligent Kids and author of the best-selling book From Chaos to Connection.   We talk about how parents can suppo...

Today with the launch of the Barbie movie and so much emphasis on selfies and having perfect bodies, it's worth considering how we help out the millions of kids who aren't "perfect". 

In this episode I interview Pam Luk, Founder of Ember & Ace, a clothing brand for plus-sized kids.  We talk about how to support our kids both socially and emotionally as well as how we as parents need to tamp down our own feelings about perfection that harm our kids in emotional ways that hurt more than help.

Here is a link to Ember & Ac...

What do you with kids who are wired differently?   Who might be on the spectrum (ADHD, Asperger's, OCD, etc.)?  Maybe they've had a diagnosis, maybe you just can see they are off the charts brilliant and some things but a total failure at socializing with kids their age. 

If you have such challenges with your kids,  take a listen to Sam Young of Young Scholars Academy in this episode as he explains how his online community for neurodivergent and gifted children works.  He brings a strength-based approach to getting our kids to connect in healthy, positive ways while...

Some kids seem to be born not caring where stuff is.  They rely on us to find things and if we can't find them they blame US!  Yikes! 

This episode gives you ideas about how to let go of the responsibility for items in our kids lives that should be THEIRS but seem to have become OURS.  

Learn how to keep a calm head as we turn over the job of owning "stuff" back to our kids in loving ways.  

Step 1: Turn off the "mom finder" that enables kids lack of responsibility 
Step 2...

Most parents seem to get hit with this at some point in our parenting journey.  It can start at around 6-7 months and usually goes away gradually throughout early childhood.  But… sometimes we’re just put to the test with separation issues and we wish someone would let us know what’s normal, what’s extreme and give us some ideas about what to do.

In this podcast we have Jessica O’Connor, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist to help step us through ideas in dealing with separation at different ages and stages.

For more det...

Listen to Heath Wilson, co-founder of Aro, talk about their innovative technology that helps families develop good screen habits in a positive and fun way. 

There's a smart tech "box" to hold your devices when families decide to have non-tech time and an app that will track how long technology has been in the box.  It's the complete opposite of our normal "get off your device" that many families fight about now,! This is more like: "hey, how fun to see how long you been off your device" twist! 

You can use the app to hav...

There are so many pressures we face as parents but one of the most challenging can be managing our own parents when it comes to gifting to their grandkids.  It's enough to drive some of us crazy!

In this episode we'll talk about the types of interference we might be dealing from our family values being over run to dealing with huge amounts of clutter that we have to organize not to how too many toys can interfere with creativity in our kids.  Take a listen to hear more possible issues.  

What can you do? 
...

When you have a child who refuses to read or is delayed in their reading compared to their peers it can be a very stressful time for parents as we try to navigate the what-to-dos and the why-is this-happening-to-my-child thoughts that constantly run through our minds.  The same stress can hit us when our kids don’t want to write and then again if they start falling into the “I hate school” mode which really tears us up. 

Having learning differences can contribute heavily to this stressful time but knowing what to do and what resources you can empl...

In this third installment of my manners series we discuss how to train your kids to chew their food with their mouths closed.  It can be a challenge but with some consistency, love and a bit of fun and games it's possible to move your kids into the social graces. 

There are two books for younger kids that might come in handy:
“How Dinosaurs Eat Their Food” by Jane Yolen
“Dinner with Olivia” by Emily Sollinger

Here's a copy of the TRANSCRIPT on my website.

Also,  feel free to email me wi...

When kids drain our energy by doing things that drive us crazy we need to respond in a loving and empathetic manner.  However,  when we're so tired of them doing things that drain us -- like whining, talking back, fighting with their siblings, or ignoring screen time limits -- we just don't know what to do. 

In this podcast you'll learn not only how to recognize things that drain your energy but how to let your kids know and then ask them to do things for you that help replenish that energy.   

Our kids to need...

What was Mary like as a parent?  In this special episode hear from Mary's two grown sons on what it was like growing up with Mary as a parent.  They talk about how natural consequences shaped them and how energy drains encouraged them to make better decisions among other topics.

This episode was created at the request of Mary's Facebook Group, Parenting Decoded, who were curious about the long term impact of good, solid parenting techniques on children.  What better examples than Mary's boys who went from having a helicopter mom to a consultant mom when they wer...

In this episode we learn how to get our kids to say “thank you” and how to help develop a general sense of appreciation for not only “things” but also training them in thankfulness which will help to promote an “attitude of gratitude”. 

We all want our kids to grow up being kind and courteous.  In this episode I talk with Teresa Ramirez, a motivational speaker and Kindness Koach.  Listen to lots of fun ideas on how to promote kindness inside and outside your home.  

Here's some of the ideas we talk about!

- Model it INSIDE your home

This is the first podcast in a series relating to getting our kids to learn manners which are fundamental to their becoming responsible, respectful adults.  Starting with Life Lessons early has the biggest impact but in this series of podcasts, whether you have a toddler or a teen, it's worth investing in their future through manners.

Here are the basics of what's covered in this podcast:
1 - Start young!  The earlier the better.  Using "baby sign language" if you have a very little one. 
2- With Older Kids Set Family Rules around Manners.  Use a Famil...

In this episode I interview Liz Bayardelle author of Clean Your Plate! 13 Things that Good Parents Say that Ruin Kids’ Lives.   This book covers all sorts of unintended consequences that good parents say regularly like Get Straight As, Don’t Hit, Sit Still, Don’t Be a Quitter and many more.   She goes into detail in all these areas and has wonderful ideas about how to combat our natural tendencies to push our kids in ways that might backfire.   

We talk specifically about the impact of parents choosing to say GET STRAIGHT A'S often sends our kids looking for...

Some of us struggle with trying to figure out if our kids are addicted to screens.  In this episode Emily Cherkin, The Screentime Consultant, and I discuss what causes screen addictions and what resources might help to determine if our kids are addicted.  We also go over different levels of intervention in overcoming screen issues in our homes. 

Emily is launching a new course for parents that will help train parents week by week to get their arms around the issue.  With parenting practices and live one-on-one coaching and support from other parents you will be able to m...

In this episode enjoy hearing from Emily Cherkin, The Screentime Consultant, as we talk about strategies to deal with kids and screen time use in our homes.  Emily works with families all the time to help put "tech intentional" ideas into homes.  Listen for ideas on how to set clear and reasonable limits in a way that can be integrated into your home, one step at a time.

Emily can be found at:  https://thescreentimeconsultant.com/

You can learn about her new course on Becoming a Tech-Intentional Parent<...

Siblings who hate each other is unfortunately all too common an issue for parents to ignore.  In this podcast we explore what a parent can do with their kids who aren't getting along, who are unbearably mean to each other. 

Our kids fighting all the time can be:
1 - draining for the ENTIRE family
2 - full of opportunities to learn some life lessons about getting along

In order to help stop the energy drain and actually learn those lessons that will help later in life we cover  three possible solutions to try:
1 - U...

Setting limits for our kids can be such a challenge.  We set them, they ignore or break them.  Ugh!  In this episode learn how to set better boundaries that we can stick by so that our kids know that we mean what we say.

Learn to say:
1 - "AND WHAT DID I SAY"
Using this phrase helps stop the whining and begging that gets so annoying that we often times give in just to quiet our kids down.
2 - Set consequences for whining and complaining when our kids try to push our boundaries in dir...

In this podcast learn how to deal with disrespect in your home by teaching and modeling respect while keeping calm. 

The truth is, disrespectful behavior is one of the inappropriate ways kids, especially teenagers but not limited to teens, try to solve their problems. Kids can feel powerless in the face of rules and expectations and talking back and showing disrespect is one way they try to take some power back. If they can drag you into an argument, that’s even better: Now you’re arguing about respect instead of focusing on their curfew or their homew...

Life isn’t fair it never has been.  How we deal with life is what matters.  In this episode learn how you can nurture an understanding of fairness in your child's life as well as ideas on how you can respond to unfairness.

We want our kids to be able to:

In this very special episode I want to reach out to YOU, my listeners and hear from you!  Email me your thoughts about who you are any why you listen!  Got ideas?  I'd LOVE to hear them!  Already  know me and came to a class or lecture long ago?  Drop a note to say hi!

Easiest way to email me is to click this link that takes you to my web page:
EMAIL OR NEWSLETTER LINK
You'll just have to click one more time on the "email" link o...

In this podcast I cover a few things.  First, what do bad teachers look like?  How do they behave? Next, what can you do about it as a parent and, lastly, what can your child do about making it through the year in once piece having learned what they need to. 
Three types of bad teachers:
Fluffy - ones that are nice but don't teach the material
Boring - ones that put you to sleep they are so uninspiring
Mean - ones that yell and are just plain mean; they might have favorites in the cla...

In this episode I talk with Dr. Weisinger about their approach of transforming harmful parental pressure into healthy pressure.    He has just released a new book with Dr. Christopher Thurber, The Unlikely Art of Parental Pressure: A Positive Approach to Pushing Your Child to Be Their Best Self. This book provides a roadmap for parents to engage in healthy pressure with our kids, ways that will help them grow and succeed instead of stifle and crush them.  

We, as parents, often struggle with kids who we think aren’t trying their hardest and we want to push harde...

Do you have a kid who is always seeking attention?  They are pulling on you, saying “Mommy, mommy, watch me!”  Or maybe they try to one up anyone just to make themselves look bigger or better than others.  Maybe they’ll even make things up to do that?

In this episode you'll learn why your kids are acting that way and how to bring new skills into the mix so you can work with them in a positive way so they go from annoying to adorable. 

Take a listen!

Send me email at mary@paren...

In this episode Mary interviews author Elaine Taylor-Kraus from ImpactParents about her new book: The Essential Guide to Raising Complex Kids with ADHD, Anxiety and More

This guide gives all parents a guide in how to best help their children overcome their challenges in healthy, loving and practical ways. 

Whether or not you have a child who has been diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety, Asperger’s, any other executive function issues or you’re just worried that your child is out of step with their peers, please listen in for some great advic...