One Degree Marriage: Christ-Centered Communication & Habits

You’d never run your job without a calendar, a check-in, or a budget review. So why do we expect our marriages to stay on track by accident?

If we could hand every married couple just one habit, it would be a weekly marriage meeting. In this episode we explain what it is, why we’re so passionate about it, and how it has shaped our marriage over almost eight years of doing it. We also take on the most common pushback, “Isn’t that too formal and stiff?” Xan was the spouse who pushed back at first. If...

You already know the one. The dishes. The tone. Who gets up with the baby. How much time you spend with his family or hers. It comes back every few weeks like an old houseguest, and you have never once walked away from it feeling closer.

Here is the comforting part: every couple has recurring fights. The goal was never to stop fighting. The goal is to fight well. In this episode we sort our arguments into two piles, the ones that actually have a fix and the ones rooted in who we are, and then we...

You can have a perfect spreadsheet and plenty of income and still end up in the same money argument every month. That is usually the sign the fight was never really about the budget.

This week we get honest about why couples fight about money: the homes we grew up in, the pull between a spender and a saver, the quiet anxiety of not trusting God’s provision, and the biggest one of all, never settling whose money it actually is. Then we walk through the practical rhythms we use in our own marriage, from a budget th...

Where to eat tonight is easy. Whether to move, which church to call home, or how to school your kids is not, and those are the moments that reveal whether we actually have a healthy way of deciding together or have just been getting lucky.

This week we take on the question a lot of couples never say out loud: when you have prayed, talked it through, stayed kind, and still don't agree, who gets the final say? Building on our recent conversations about what it looks like to be a godly wife and a godly husband...

Feeling more like roommates than teammates lately? Or maybe things are good, but you know there’s room to go deeper. In this replay of one of our most popular episodes (a rare solo one, since it’s just Xan this time), we walk through 7 practical habits that deeply connected couples actually practice. You don’t have to do all seven. Pick one or two to start this week and watch how those small, one-degree shifts add up.

These habits aren’t a checklist to crush. Our hope is that they encourage you to seek the Lord more dee...

Most husbands have heard that they are the head of the home. Far fewer have been told what kind of head they are supposed to be, and that gap is where a lot of quiet disconnection in a marriage starts.

This week we sit down with Ephesians 5 and read it slowly, starting back at verse 18 where the whole thing is anchored: be filled with the Spirit. From there we work through what Paul actually asks of husbands, and it is not enforcement. Paul never tells a husband to make sure his wife submits. He spends three verses...

This week we're bringing back one of our most popular episodes ever. If you're new here, welcome! And if you heard it the first time around, we think it's worth a second listen.

What does it really mean for wives to "submit" to their husbands in Ephesians 5? Few verses about marriage cause more tension, confusion, or quiet eye rolls. Is submission blind obedience? Does it mean tolerating sin or abuse? Is it outdated or oppressive? Or is it something deeper, and actually freeing?

In this episode, we unpack what the Bible really says about being...

The holidays are still months away on the calendar and already somebody is asking whose house you are coming to. If that question makes your stomach tighten, you are not the only couple feeling it.

This week we are talking about what it actually looks like to set healthy boundaries with in-laws and extended family without blowing up the relationship. We walk through what Genesis 2:24 means by leave and cleave, why leaving your father and mother never cancels the command to honor them, and two of the healthiest in-law relationships in scripture. Then we get practical with...

Most of us never sat down and decided what our family is actually about. We just started living, and somewhere along the way the answer got decided for us by our upbringing, our friend group, or whatever we scrolled past last night.

This week we open up our own family mission statement, the six core values underneath it, and the weekly rhythm that keeps them from becoming a pretty sign we never look at. We walk through why we landed on pursue faithfulness, play the long game, and live with open hands, the one line we changed...

You can name the friend you would call if you needed to unload about your spouse. Now name the friend who would hear you out and then gently tell you the part you got wrong. Most of us have the first one. Almost none of us have the second.

This week we talk about why your marriage was never meant to be lived privately. You made your vows in front of witnesses for a reason, and somewhere between the reception and real life, most of us quietly decided that our marriage was nobody else's business. We get...

You emptied the dehumidifier again this morning. You noticed the fridge was bare, rerouted the drive home, and still had dinner on the table by six. Nobody said a word.

In episode 172, we're talking about the invisible work of marriage: the mental load, the quiet planning, the tasks your spouse handles that no one sees, including you. This is not a conversation about who does more. It's about learning to see your spouse clearly, and letting that turn into real gratitude and real action. We walk through the 10-minute exercise we recommend to every couple, why comparison...

Somewhere along the way, marriage advice got very good at one question: is this working for me? Scripture asks a different one. If your marriage belongs to God before it belongs to either of you, almost everything downstream changes, including the things nobody talks about out loud.

In this episode we walk through ten ways a Christian marriage should actually look different from the one culture is selling, and we try to be honest about the places it gets uncomfortable. We start with the foundation, that our marriage was never really about us, and then get very...

It's 9:30 at night. The kids are finally down, the dishes are still out, and this is the first time you have been alone together all day. Nobody is bringing their best self to that moment. So what does it actually look like to prioritize your spouse in a season when you cannot give them the most of your time?

In this episode, we start with the why. Scripture describes marriage as the most important earthly relationship you have, and we walk through why that framing changes how you spend the little margin you have. Then we get...

Most weeks, your marriage gets whatever energy is left after everything else. What if this week looked a little different?

We're walking through seven daily marriage challenges, one for every day of the week, pulled straight from what's live in the One Degree Marriage app. You don't have to start on a Monday. Pick any day, go seven days, and see what shifts. Along the way, we share why we started One Degree in the first place, what the "one degree" philosophy actually means for your marriage, and why we're convinced that small, consistent investments are what...

We've all said "I'm sorry" and watched it do absolutely nothing: no softening, no reconciliation, just more tension in the room. In this episode, we get honest about the apologies that don't actually work: the quick "let's just move on," the defensive "I'm sorry you feel that way," and the classic apology with an unspoken "but" attached. We also talk about why most of us were never taught to do this well in the first place.

We walk through a simple, four-part framework for apologies that actually repair connection instead of just ending the argument: name it...

We've all been there: it's 11:37pm, you're exhausted, and you're still hashing out a fight because somebody said don't go to bed angry. But what if pushing through to "resolution" at midnight is actually making things worse?

This week we're unpacking one of the most repeated pieces of marriage advice, Ephesians 4:26's "do not let the sun go down on your anger," and why the literal, deadline version of it can backfire. We walk through what Paul is actually saying in context, why exhaustion turns conflict resolution into surrender instead of repair, and what to do instead...

Plenty of marriages survive without them. But if you want yours to actually thrive, there are four things worth building on purpose.

In this episode, we walk through the four things we believe every thriving marriage needs: a shared faith, deep trust, healthy communication, and genuine fun and friendship.

In this episode:

"Follow your heart." "Trust your gut." "Do what feels right." We've all heard it, and if we're honest, we've all let it shape how we treat the people we love most. But what happens on the days your heart doesn't feel like loving your spouse?

In this episode, we dig into why feelings-based decision making is one of the sneakiest threats to a healthy marriage. We unpack where the "follow your heart" mindset actually comes from (hint: it's not the Bible), why feelings are fragile and easily hijacked by stress, sleep, and hormones, and why 1 Corinthians 13 describes...

We've all heard it: "When's the last time you two went on a date?" Like date nights are the magic fix for a marriage that feels stuck. In this episode, we push back on that, and we get real about what actually moves the needle.

We talk about why date nights became the default advice for every marriage problem, why they can even backfire if the deeper stuff isn't being addressed, and what we've found actually strengthens our marriage on a weekly basis... no babysitter or budget required.

In this episode:

Most of us know we should be growing spiritually. We even know we should be encouraging our spouse to do the same. But somewhere between good intentions and real life, it just… doesn't happen. We wait for the right season, the right Bible study, or for them to take the first step.

In this episode, we get honest about our own inconsistencies: the prayer ruts, the accountability groups that faded after the babies came, the moments when the spirit is willing but the routine has quietly collapsed. And we walk through four simple, doable ways to pursue yo...

You scroll past an anniversary post or a friend's date night photo, and the thought slips in: why don't we have that? If that sounds familiar, comparison is quietly costing your marriage more than you realize.

In this episode, we get honest about comparison in marriage and why it is such a sneaky threat to contentment. We talk about why social media makes comparing your marriage to other couples easier than any generation before us, how comparison breeds ungratefulness and ungratefulness breeds discontentment, and what the Garden of Eden's blame game reveals about why comparison is really...

You're probably pretty good at the logistics. Who's getting the kids, who's making dinner, who remembered to call the plumber. But when's the last time you and your spouse slowed down long enough to ask: where are we actually going?

In this episode, we're talking about the one conversation that tends to get skipped in even the healthiest marriages — casting a vision for your family. Not a financial roadmap or a five-year career plan, but the deeper stuff: What do we want our family to be known for? What culture are we building? Are we actually living ou...

Every marriage needs guardrails. But does a rule about never being alone with someone of the opposite sex actually protect you, or just give you a false sense of security?

In Episode 160, we tackle the Billy Graham Rule head-on: what it is, why it exists, and whether married couples actually need to follow it. We share our honest take while also making clear that "not following the rule" doesn't mean "not guarding your marriage." The real protection, we'd argue, comes from something a lot harder than a policy.

Resources & Links:

You're doing the dishes, the diapers, and the 2 a.m. wake-ups—and somewhere in the middle of all of it, your marriage quietly slips to the back of the line. This episode is for every couple in the thick of the littles who still wants to choose each other.

In this episode, we pull back the curtain on our own two-under-two season: a colicky second baby, COVID isolation, no family nearby, no meal train, and the constant low hum of "how are we going to get through today."

RESOURCES:

FREE WEEKLY MARRIAGE MEETING TE...

Some weeks the loneliest seat in the house is the one right next to your spouse. If you love Jesus and they don't (or they used to, and now it's complicated) this episode is for you.

Whether your spouse is a non-believer or simply lukewarm in their faith, the conversation walks through six practical, hope-forward practices for staying steady... without slipping into bitterness, pride, or quiet compromise.

In this episode:

You said "I do," and then assumed sex would just figure itself out. For a lot of couples, it doesn't. And the silence around that can make you feel like you're the only one struggling.

In this episode, we get honest about the first three years of our marriage, when sex felt more like a burden than a blessing, and what we wish someone had told us sooner. We unpack the lingering weight of purity culture, the lie that physical intimacy should "just come naturally," and the small shifts that slowly turned things around. Whether you're a...

Ever been blindsided by something on your spouse's calendar — a meeting, a trip, a last-minute Cubs game — that you swear they never told you about? You're not alone. Most couples default to reactive scheduling, and it costs them more than they realize.

In this episode:

Your marriage isn't in crisis. There's no betrayal. No big fight. No broken trust. You're both showing up, doing your jobs, putting food on the table, and somewhere along the way, "showing up" quietly turned into "going through the motions."

That's a rut. And it's the most common (and most overlooked) season in a marriage.

In this episode, we unpack a Yahoo column about a husband whose answer to "I feel unseen" was "but we have a nice house" and why that response is way more common than we'd like to admit. Then they walk...

What if the secret to deeper friendships, stronger family rhythms, and richer Christian community wasn't a bigger house or a better-cooked meal, but simply opening your door every Friday night?

Let's chat about our weekly "Sabbath Kickoff Dinner"—a standing Friday night meal with friends and kids that's become the most anticipated part of our week. We unpack the difference between cultural hospitality (perfect table settings, drinks-in-hand, flawless meals) and biblical hospitality (Mary vs. Martha, authentic fellowship, shared life), and why lowering your expectations is the key to actually getting started.

If you've ever thought, "I...

In this episode, we're getting honest about one of the sneakiest marriage killers: ungratefulness. We've found in our own marriage, and in the couples we talk to, that the longer you're together, the easier it is to start taking your spouse for granted. The things that once drew you to them? You stop noticing. And the things that bother you? They seem to get louder.

In this episode, we talk about:

What would your marriage look like if both of you woke up every morning asking, "How can I out-serve my spouse today?"

In this episode, we get real about what it actually means to seek to out-serve your spouse, the subtle scoreboard most couples keep, why our flesh resists serving without reciprocation, and how the gospel completely reframes what sacrifice is meant to look like in marriage.

In this episode:

Marriage will change you — the question is, will it change you for better or worse?

In this episode, we get honest about six real ways marriage has shaped, stretched, and sanctified us — the good stuff AND the uncomfortable stuff. From sin being exposed (yes, including the t-shirt drawer debate) to learning that love is a daily choice and not just a feeling, this one's a candid conversation you'll want to share with your spouse.

In this episode:

Spring break is here, and if you're hitting the road with your spouse, we did the work for you. In this episode, we walk you through our curated road trip playlist straight from the One Degree Marriage podcast: 10 episodes hand-picked to spark real conversation in the car without requiring a single note. From fun and light to deeper listens, we've got your whole drive covered.

GET THE WHOLE PLAYLIST HERE

What separates couples who feel truly close from those who are just coexisting? In this episode, we're (and by we I mean... me. Just Xan this week) breaking down 7 practical habits that deeply connected couples actually practice. No fluff, no theory, just things you can implement today.

From the High-Low-Buffalo daily check-in to non-sexual physical touch, praying together, the Weekly Marriage Meeting™, expressing specific gratitude, protecting against slow drift, and having a real conflict plan, we're gonna cover it all.

Whether your marriage feels disconnected right now or you're simply looking to go deeper, there's so...

Feeling disconnected from your spouse or stuck in the daily grind of work, kids, and responsibilities?

In this episode, we talk about one simple rhythm that has helped our marriage stay intentional: taking a yearly marriage retreat.

You don’t need a fancy vacation, a huge budget, or even overnight childcare to make it happen. A marriage retreat can be as simple as a weekend away, a staycation, or intentionally setting aside time to reconnect and reflect on where your marriage is headed.

In this conversation, we share why we started doing annual ma...

What does it really mean for wives to “submit” to their husbands in Ephesians 5?

In this episode, we unpack one of the most controversial passages in the Bible about marriage: “Wives, submit to your husbands.”

Is submission blind obedience?

Does it mean tolerating sin or abuse?

Is it outdated or oppressive?

Or is it something deeper, and actually freeing?

We explore:

Ephesians 5 might be one of the most debated passages in marriage conversations, especially when it comes to submission. But what about the calling placed on husbands?

In this episode of One Degree Marriage, we unpack what it actually means for husbands to love their wives “as Christ loved the church.” And spoiler alert: the bar is Jesus.

We break down:

Feeling disconnected in your marriage, even when nothing is “wrong”? In this episode, we talk about the three kinds of intimacy (spiritual, emotional, physical) and why surface-level fixes like date nights don’t work if you don’t address the root.

We’ll walk you through the starting point that changes everything: an honest conversation to diagnose what’s actually driving the drift (busyness, unresolved conflict, unmet expectations, stress, trust, spiritual stagnancy). Then we share simple, practical rhythms that rebuild connection over time, including prayer, Weekly Marriage Meetings, and daily check-ins.

RESOURCES:

Have you ever gone all out to love your spouse, only to be met with a lukewarm response? You meant well. You put in real effort. And somehow, it still missed the mark.

In this episode of One Degree Marriage, we’re talking about what it actually looks like to love your spouse in the way they feel most loved, not just the way that comes naturally to you. Using real-life examples, biblical truth, and practical questions you can ask this week, we unpack why love is meant to be self-giving and sacrificial rather than self-expressive.

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Conflict isn’t the enemy in marriage. How you handle it is.

In this episode, we walk through five practical rules for healthy conflict in marriage—rules that help couples stay connected, communicate clearly, and resolve disagreements without damaging trust.

We talk about why conflict can actually strengthen your relationship, how subtle habits like “always” and “never” language sabotage communication, and what it looks like to approach hard conversations as teammates instead of opponents.

You’ll hear real-life examples from our own marriage, a simple framework for bringing up difficult topics, and why having a confl...