Gay Orphans

A one-eyed dog got abandoned in a backpack on Hay’s doorstep on their birthday, Cara drops tea about her former clown college and what what it’s like to divide up the wigs in a lesbian breakup. We do IFS therapy on each other (not really) and explore estranged parent Tik Tok. Subscribe on Patreon to look Winx in the eye!

Okay you might say the So You Think You Can G’Orphan!? guest series premieres! Our bad cousin Harper-Rose (Tea Time pod, LMFAO standup) visits and we go a little feral talking about her star of a mother, Harpy’s sordid past with Cara, the worst uncles we know, the plight of being a real bisexual, and Hay’s first relationship ever with a gogo dancer named Sugar. We also talk to a dog sometimes… consider that a teaser!!

Cara is heartbroken but honestly thriving, as in we can't afford an in-patient facility so we went to a 24-hour Korean spa where we were too loud, The g'orphans also talk about shamans, dark jokes with Zoom therapists, actually good parents on Drag Race, and the health benefits of squ*rting. Hay has a blowout and Cara is wearing press on nails for some reason which you could see if you paid us even five beautiful dollars on Patreon!

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/cw/GayOrphans

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gayorphanspod/

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Okay so sometimes you start a podcast 10 years into comedy and then you go through a breakup… and honestly, that’s pretty funny. It’s somewhat Eeyore O’clock again during what is ultimately a comedy podcast where we discuss: Hay’s mom ruining tarot for them, if we’d be good parents, and we get a huge update from the parental alienation syndrome Facebook group that might change everything.

Our Patreon has bonus content!

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/cw/GayOrphans

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gayorphanspod/

Email us your own gay orph...

The g’orphans went to a show! Hay and Cara got to meet a celebrity, Hay got in a fight with a merch guy, Cara got revenge, and then Hay got shy for the first time this calendar year. We make a financial plan for our future and it might involve your dad - go visit him if you’re so worried. We also leg wrestle in this ep and the results are shocking.

Our Patreon has bonus content including watching this historical gay leg battle!

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/cw/GayOrphans

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This week we discuss childhood bullies (starting with our mothers), how abusive families is like team sports, and Cara is now identifying as hard R She/Her/Hers. Hay talks about how ugly their soft butch mom is, and we read posts from the estranged parents Facebook group (read: delabubu narcissists support group) - and to be clear we switched outfits from the previous recording and that’s why we’re talking about each others’ sweat so much.

Our Patreon has bonus content including seeing our stupid outfits!

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/cw/GayOrphans

I...

We discuss the sapphic line dancing trend after Cara got force-femmed at a queer line dance night, the general situation that is the city of Portland, and we read submissions from a support group for parents who’s kids won’t speak to them and try to help the best we can tbh.

Watch the full video on Patreon!

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/cw/GayOrphans

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gayorphanspod/

Email us your own gay orphan story: gayorphanspod@gmail.com

A family estrangement comedy podcast if you can believe it! Hay Beacon and Cara Connors are somehow both self-designated orphans and not even cause they’re gay. The g’orphans (sorry) go over their comedy origin stories, similar tattoos (a$$es come out) and how they discovered they are both long time no contact kings with their birth families and not even cuz our families are homophobic, but just because they suck. We’re kind of living in the future in that way and you’re welcome to join us on what is a absolutely a comedy podcast!

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