Restore Yourself. Restore Your Marriage.

Have you ever wondered what couples that work with a life coach might ask?  If so, then this episode is for you.  While you might guess some of the obvious ones, these three questions are ones that end up being asked during the journey of a session.

These types of questions are not always the red-flag ones that motivate couples to seek the help of a coach, but are often the kind that show up when we start to think about things a little more deeply.

Listen in on today's episode to see how these th...

Have you ever felt like the stress of the holidays gets in the way of feeling close and connected to your spouse?

If so, you are not alone.  The holidays can bring frustration with a higher level of busyness, unmet expectations, and disappointments when things don't go according to how we envision it.  But it doesn't have to be that way.

Listen in on today's episode where we discuss a few simple strategies that can really go along way to lower some stress and help the connection stay alive and strong, so you can feel cl...

Have you ever wondered what happened to that fun and exciting desire you felt while you were dating your spouse?  If so, you are not alone.

But what if we could harness that sensual energy, desire, and attraction and recreate it in our marriage today?  That would be a fun way to experience our marriage.

Listen in as we dive a little deeper into the ways we can recreate this desire in a way that is unique to each couple.  It's a lot easier than you may think.  

Do you remember that one song by the Beach Boys called "Good Vibrations?"  In it, there is a line that says "I'm picking up good vibrations, she's giving me excitations."

With the concepts of tantra in mind (you can listen to episode #209 for more details), listen in as we discuss the process of 'excitement' compared to being in a state of 'excitation.'  They are not the same thing!  And when you add the intriguing concept of being flirty into the mix, there is something quite magical that takes place.  

The way excitement and excitations is a...

Have you ever wondered what Tantra is?  Maybe you've heard the term "tantric sex" before and your mind went in a million different directions.  But what if tantra is not really what you think it is?

Listen in on today's episode to discover some of the key concepts of tantra, which are not the same thing as kinky sex positions only based on hedonistic pleasure.  You just might find yourself pleasantly surprised by a natural desire to incorporate some of them into your intimate experience.

Have you ever wondered if there are certain habits that could help lead to deeper intimacy?  Well, the good news is that there is!

Listen in on this episode where you will discover 12 simple practices that you can easily implement into your relationship that will help create a positive foundation for the fun, sexy times to come.

Remember, no need to try to implement them all.  Just pick the one that will bring yourself the most personal growth and development, and watch the positive effects ripple out.

Have you ever felt like going on a double date might be more work than fun?  If so, think again.  The benefits far outweigh the little effort that goes into it.

Listen in on today's episode where we share 5 skills to activate to get the most out of double dates.  We will also describe the different types of activities to be mindful of that can enhance your overall experience.  

Remember that there is no limit on the amount of fun and unique experiences you can have, as well as friendships you can develop, by going on d...

Have you ever wished there was a playbook that had some simple solutions to the problems that married couples face?  Well, today you're in luck because we've put together a podcast with that very goal in mind.

Listen in today's episode where we will explore the top struggles of married couples with corresponding proactive protocols that will help you will relieve some of the stress that comes with them.  From differing sex drives to facing health issues, there is at least one protocol that you can start using today.

Have you ever wondered if there was a way to get a little more "in the mood?"  While most of us have probably heard about the concept of aphrodisiacs and the list of foods that often come with it, this may keep us from looking at some of the more subtle ways to spark arousal.

Listen in as we discuss 5 ways that an underestimated and often over looked concept can naturally and easily spark that sexy desire.  Don't make it harder than it has to be.  Make it fun, keep it simple, and feel the sexy.  

Have you ever felt like there was more that you wanted to communicate about intimacy challenges in your marriage?  If so, you are not alone.  Feeling a little timid about a multi-faceted topic is very natural and normal, but it often comes with a cost.

Listen in on today's episode where we dive into the downsides of being timid when it comes to marital intimacy, the benefits of being bold, and 5 ways to embrace that boldness.  

Marriage is the perfect arena to learn how to tap into a new level of confidence, get closer to you...

Have you ever felt like the process of trying to improve your marriage, or the intimate aspect of it, drives you to the point of insanity at times?  If so, you are not alone.

This usually happens when we spend time trying something out, finding out that it didn't really work, and then spending even more time doing it again, hoping that time will be the thing that will make it work one day.

But what if we are just spending time on the wrong thing?  Listen in as we discuss 3 ideas that could help yo...

Have you ever felt like your sex life was struggling?  Since intimacy challenges are very common between husband and wife, you are not alone.  But what can we do to revive it?

Listen in as we explore a few common mindsets of husband and wife and how they could be having a negative impact on the sexual aspect of your marriage.   Discover how life-coaching ties into the reviving process and 5 easy tips that can help.   

Schedule a FREE Discovery Session at www.shellie.andersoncoaching.com.

Have you ever considered what happens to intimacy when one or both spouses has an injury?   While it may not be a common topic of discussion, it is a challenge that many couples face.

Listen in as we discuss some of the traps and pitfalls that couples fall into when they are faced with injuries and three tips that will help you navigate them with  some humor and grace. 

Do you remember your dating years and how awesome it was to make out?  It was such a rush!  The often drawn out experience really allowed for so many emotions and sensations to build up in our bodies.  We often enjoyed it so much that we usually looked forward to next time, and were even craving it.  

When we were dating, make out sessions seemed to last much longer than they do once you get married.  When sex is introduced into the relationship, couples seem to just rush to the pleasure part of orgasm.  This leaves behind the ma...

Book your FREE Discovery Session at www.shellie.andersoncoaching.com today!

Have you ever thought of inducing and intimacy in the same sentence?  I hadn't either, until recently, when I heard a song on the radio that really caught my attention.  The male singer talked about birthing lyrics and inducing songs.  Interesting concept coming from a man who cannot physically birth babies.

Listen in on today's episode, where we will take some awesome notes from these intriguing lyrics and apply them to intimacy.  These insights can really help a husband and wife when they are opera...

Book a FREE Discovery Session at www.shellie.andersoncoaching.com. 

Have you ever thought that your sex life is an illusion?  While dating life was fun and spontaneous, married life and the sexual aspect of it seems to be a lot different than what you thought it would be.

This is where our lovely expectations come face to face with reality.  Things have changed and shifted, and we may end up feeling like we were being played all along and that we are now just being used.  But sex in marriage doesn't have to feel this...

Book your FREE Discovery Session at www.shellie.andersoncoaching.com

Have you ever thought that married sex turned out to be a scam?  If so, you are not alone.   Husbands feel scammed when the quantity of sex is not as high as they had hoped for.  Wives feel scammed when the quality of sex is not as high as they had hoped for.

Both spouses feel scammed for different reasons.  This will leave each spouse attempting to solve the problem with approaches that will meet their own needs, but not both spouse's needs. 

So, w...

Sign up for a FREE Discovery Session at shellie.andersoncoaching.com.

Have you ever wondered why men seem to enjoy and want sex so much more than their wife?  While many might assume that its simply because their testosterone levels are higher, it's not the only reason.

The arousing shenanigans of procreation actually requires the man to have "pleasure in the process" in order for it to be successful; it's mandatory.  But this is not the same for women. The sweet spot of their most pleasurable nerve endings doesn't automatically line up the same way, an...

Book your FREE Discover Session today at www.shellie.andersoncoaching.com

Have you ever wondered what approach a husband takes when he is feeling in the mood for sex?  Often, there is no strategic approach at all.  And even more often, the approaches they do try often fall short.

Listen in on today's episode where we look closer at a not-so-obvious trap about rhetoric that seems to be at the root of the many faulty approaches and quick fix attempts.  Discover 3 tips for having a better discussion about sex that benefits BOTH the husband and the...

Have you ever considered that there could be some awesome intimacy insights that could be gained during this unique time of the solar eclipse?  If you haven't, maybe this could be your invitation to do just that.

Listen in as we discuss some of the obvious occurrences that happen in nature during an eclipse and how it can relate to intimacy.  During this time of transformation, when the sun is obscured by the moon, can act as a signal for our own internal transformation... as we allow the superficial ways of approaching intimacy to gain the corona (hi...

Do you want to try something fun with intimacy this week?  Then this is the episode for you.  And while many women end up on the short end of the stick when it comes to how much pleasure they are experiencing with intimacy, there is so much potential that has yet to be discovered.

Listen in on today's episode where we explore the ratio of potential pleasure that is possible for couples and how to advocate for it.  With the fun and adventure of searching for Easter eggs as a guide, you can create your own sexy hun...

Did you know that there are a lot of married women who don't put the words sex and fun in the same sentence?  If you are a married woman reading this, it might seem like common knowledge.  But a married man reading this might be feeling like a freight train just hit him.  He may even wonder, how can sex NOT be fun?

In today's episode, we take a closer look at this concept and the meta-message that takes root when a spouse thinks that sex is not fun.   While it may seem like an impossible task to o...

Have you ever felt like, just when things were going well and headed towards a romantic night of intimacy, things got sabotaged?  I'm guessing it's happened to most of us, even if we didn't mean for it to happen... and the sexiness gets derailed.

And sometimes, we can even get off track for days, or even weeks, at a time when this takes place.  But what would happen if the next time, we were able to get back on track much faster?  That would be amazing.
 
Listen in on today's episode where we discuss a fast...

Have you  ever had some deep introspective thoughts about sex and intimacy while you were eating a salad?  If not, you are not alone.  I hadn't either, until recently.

As I looked down at all of the ingredients in my salad, the cucumbers really caught my attention.  Why?  I realized that I normally don't like cucumbers on their own.  I find them boring.  I don't crave them and I'm never upset when I don't have them around.

But when they are mixed in with the other ingredients, I absolutely love them!  Listen in on today's episode...

Have you ever heard the word entropy before?  Have you ever applied the concept to the intimacy in your marriage?  While most of us probably have a general idea of what entropy is, we may never have thought of it when it comes to sex with our spouse.

On today's episode, we dive into this topic just a little bit deeper to see how entropy will take its toll on our relationship if we don't make a decision to do something about it on purpose.  

If you have ever thought, "I haven't really done anything dif...

Have you ever wanted to seek help to improve intimacy, only to be held back by some fears?  This is very common, and is sadly that thing that keeps us stuck and keeps us from feeling closer to our spouse faster.

Listen in on today's episode where we dive into the top 5 fears that prevent improvement in the challenging topic of intimacy.  These are the fears that my clients wish they would have addressed sooner... before things got so bad that they were just feeling desperate and even considering divorce.

Have you ever wondered what contributes to having the best sex ever?  While we might think it comes when we fulfill a checklist of sorts, it might come as a surprise that it can happen under even the most challenging and unexpected circumstances.

Listen in as we take a closer look at some of the surprising elements that led to such an experience.  It was not planned in advance and it did not involve any elaborate or large romantic gestures.  But it did come through the process of two adults actually facing some hard challenges in their lif...

Do you know what the most researched topic is when it comes to Valentine's Day?  It might not be what you think it is.  With all that is going on in the world today, people seem to be wanting to get back to their roots, and are wondering what love really is.

Listen in as we remind ourselves with love really is, the things that might sabotage it during Valentine's Day, and what we can do to feel the love even more.  Don't limit love, but instead, put more into your week on purpose with the following 5 tip...

Have you ever felt like you were longing for a little bit more from you intimate experience?  If so, you are not alone.  In a world of instant gratification, it should come as no surprise when we sometimes feel like something is lacking that may require just a little more of our time.

Listen in on today's episode where we explore how sexy it is to slow the intimate experience down, include the senses, and involve the brain as well as the body.  Heightening the journey to pleasure can be a total turn on for women and can...

Did you know that there is a National Spouse's Day?  Don't worry, I didn't know either, until very recently.  But how cool is that?  This is not the same as Valentine's Day.  Since most people don't even know about it, there aren't any expectations to plan elaborate romantic dates or buy expensive gifts.

It's just a day to celebrate your spouse.  You can choose to celebrate any amazing aspect about them.  We get to tap into our creativity and celebrate any way we want.

Listen in on today's episode as we share some quick and easy w...

Have you ever wondered why so many wives don't seem to have as strong of a desire for sex as their husband?  While a huge difference in their natural and normal  hormone levels does exist, there is often a different kind of connection that is missing.

It's interesting to note that while husbands and wives are pretty much having the same amount of sex with each other, the husbands are experiencing much more pleasure than their wife... leading them to want to have more of it.  Sadly, their wife is having a less than pleasurable experience, leading her...

Have you ever felt like certain parts of you were being ignored by your spouse while other parts were getting all the attention?  It's fairly common to have thoughts like this from time to time and it can easily lead to us feeling a bit down in the dumps.

Listen in as we dive just a little bit deeper into what it actually means to be ignored and what we can do when we feel we need more attention than we're getting.  The options available to us on how we can respond are pretty simple and easy to...

Have you ever found yourself feeling used by your spouse?   It's not a fun feeling.  For a lot of women, they often feel like they are being used by their husband for sex.  And for many husbands, they feel like they are being used for their money.

But what if that is not actually the case?  Sadly, we can easily think these kinds of negative thoughts and make assumptions and interpretations about our spouse that just aren't true.   This just leaves us feeling miserable.

Listen in on today's episode where we take a closer look at wh...

Have you ever held back your dreaming when it comes to your marriage or intimacy?  Sometimes, we do this is as a way to protect ourselves... hoping to avoid getting hurt, just in case they don't come true.

And then sadly, over time, we often stop dreaming all together.  And when we stop dreaming, it can become harder to take positive steps to improve things.  We can then lose the joy that we once experienced in our relationship.

Listen in on today's episode where we take a closer look at what it means to dream, wha...

Did you know that there are three stages of marriage?  While many people have heard about the love languages or the seasons of marriage, we may not be as familiar with the stages of marriage.  Not to worry.

Listen in on today's episode where we will define and explore these three stages.  There are some simple signs that will help us learn if we are feeling stuck in one of the stages and are operating from a place of resentment and resignation.

Learn the signs and what to do when you feel stuck.  Marriage can be b...

Have you ever felt like something was missing from your intimate experience?  If so, you are not alone.  This happens to most couples from time to time and is totally normal.

Listen in on today's episode where we take a closer look at the reproductive systems of men and women, where they line up (or should we say where they don't line up), and why its easier for men the be pumped and primed and ready for action.

Discover why things are bit more challenging for women when it comes to arousal and learn what to...

Have you ever felt overwhelmed or weighed down by the challenges you are facing with intimacy?  Maybe, as you start to think about the lack of interest in sex or the lack of initiating it, you realize that it leads to thinking about how unfair things seem to be, which leads to thinking about another negative aspect of the intimate experience.  And before long, it all seems too big and too complicated to solve.

If you have ever felt this way, you are not alone.  Its actually quite common and normal.  The challenge we will face when we f...

Has it ever seemed like you had one set of priorities and your spouse had a different set?  This may manifest itself in the shenanigans that are, or aren't, taking place in the marriage bed arena.  

While most of the women I work with don't have a priority to dive deeper into intimacy, that is often the very thing that is needed.  But this will look differently than they think.  It will NOT strictly be from an "increase the frequency" of sex approach, but from from an approach of increasing the frequency of something else entirely.  

L...

When was the last time you had a negative thought about your married sex life?  Maybe it was last night.  Or maybe it was this morning.  Maybe you have had negative thoughts about it for quite some time.

The thoughts we have about sex impacts our experience of it.  And when we have a negative thought about it that is in conflict with our spiritual beliefs, we will start to experience cognitive dissonance, and even spiritual dissonance.

Listen in as we discuss how these negative thoughts might show up, how we address unresolved issues, and 4 simp...

Do couples realize that duty-driven sex doesn't usually activate the pleasure part of the brain?  If this style of sex is mainly what is taking place, it should come as no surprise that there might be little desire to return for more.

But what would happen if we took a more fun and playful approach to the experience?  What if we were to have sex that included a funny element to it?  Then couples would laugh and smile together... which are some of the very components that can help a couple feel close and connected.

Lis...