Undefended Dharma with Mary Stancavage

To live with an undefended heart is a cornerstone of Mary's practice and teaching. However with all the challenges in today's world, does it still make sense. In this talk Mary discusses what it means to live this way and how it is more important than ever right now. Keeping our hearts open is the path to freedom and allows us to be fully present for each moment - whatever it brings.

Recorded June 28, 2025 in the virtual world

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We talk often about the practice being a path to liberation, but what do we actually mean when we say that? In this dharma reflection, Mary investigates what liberation, freedom, awakening all mean in the various schools and lineages of Buddhism. Although the ideas may vary across the teachings, they are all grounded in compassion, wisdom and clear seeing. 

Recorded June 21, 2025 in the virtual world

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The Buddha created the sangha, or community, of monastics, but his teaching spread to every level of society and we can each be part of a sangha. In this talk Mary discusses the ethical foundations of such a community and how we can create a wise and supportive community where we are. Recalling the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King's idea that we "are tied together in a single garment of destiny, caught in an inescapable net of mutuality" and Thich Nhat Hanh's idea of Interbeing, Mary invites us to reflect on community or sangha in our own lives.

Mary reflects on how often we look for reality or truth somewhere else, when there really is nowhere else. We're invited to recognize how our mind struggles to create different stories to suit what we want but freedom lies in being able to stay right where we are. 

Recorded June 7, 2025 in the virtual world

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When we don't pay attention to our thoughts, we’re often acting from habits that have been strengthened over the years, and which can be difficult to break. The Buddha’s teaching on liberation and awakening, the Eightfold Path, also offers us a path to freedom from these habits.  When we intentionally use this path as a roadmap for how we move through the world, we are building a foundation that is strong and serves us in all aspects of our lives. It’s a foundation that offers freedom greed, aversion and ignorance.

Recorded May 31, 2025 in the virtual...

This is a short reflection on the arising of insight from knowing and sensing and the calmness that allows us to meet each moment as it is. The world is on fire and developing the capacity to be present for ourselves and others is vital. Insight meditation practice offers us a way to meet the moment.

Recorded May 24, 2025 in the virtual world

Bhikkhu Bodhi's Commentary in Lion's Roar

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With every ending there is a time to reflect before the beginning, but we often neglect this time in our haste to be on to the next new thing. The Buddha's teaching of impermanence or anicca, reminds us that all things come to an end whether we're ready or not. Citing William Bridges' work in The Way of Transition, Mary reminds to be present with the time between endings and beginnings, and to tend to the experience in the time of not-knowing.

Recorded May 17, 2025 in the virtual world

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Mary discusses the idea of Skillful Means which Joseph Goldstein says is "for liberating the clinging mind from suffering."  Using the wisdom, discernment and compassion that has arisen from our practice, we can navigate life skillfully while being fully grounded in the Buddha's teachings. Being fully present in the moment allows us to respond to everything wisely and skillfully. We let go of what doesn't serve us anymore as we develop new and wholesome, or skillful, ways of being in the world.

Recorded May 10, 2025 in the virtual world

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During these days when greed, hatred and delusion are running rampant, the Buddha's teachings on nonviolence and compassion are extremely relevant. Mary offers some examples from the suttas and points out the similarities to other world traditions who are deeply grounded in love.

Recorded May 1, 2025 in the virtual world

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Additional reflections on insight practice and how our insights are experienced at the somatic and instinctive level rather than our trying to figure things out. Inspired by the teachings on a recent retreat, Mary offers thoughts on seeing clearly, intuitive awareness and paying attention wherever we are.

Recorded April 26, 2024 in the virtual world

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Mary attended a retreat this week and offers some reflections on kindness to ourselves, awareness, insight and interconnections. The name of the retreat was Retreat as Ceremony: Mindfulness and Indigenous Presence for Wellness and Healing. Check it out!

Recorded April 21, 2025 in the virtual world

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The Five Remembrances (AN 5.57) allow us to become comfortable with our mortality and the human condition and serve as an antidote to clinging. The fifth remembrance is to reflect on the fact that all we have are our actions since we will be separated from everything because of impermanence. Mary discusses the importance of understanding this idea so we can move through the world acting wisely and skillfully, for our own liberation and for the liberation of all beings.

Recorded April 12, 2025 in the virtual world

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Reflecting on the Rajan Sutta, Mary talks about the twofold teaching it offers. Just as we hold ourselves dear, we realized that others feel the same and knowing this, we vow to cause no harm. However, this can be a challenging practice and Mary offers thoughts on what might get in the way and how we can begin to hold both ourselves and others with kindness and compassion.

Recorded April 5, 2025 in the virtual world

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We're often given the instruction to relax during meditation. It is not just so that we feel relaxed or calm, but it allows us to let go of what we're holding and to make space for what's right here. We're creating the environment to be present for reality and move towards equanimity in each moment. 

Recorded 3/29/2025 in the virtual world

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In this brief reflection, Mary discusses the Buddha's teaching on the Eight Worldly Winds and how appropriate it is for today's world. Equanimity invites us to an appropriate response to whatever experience we have and when we understand the teaching of the winds and how we're driven by them if we don't pay attention, there is a chance for liberation. The roller coaster calms when we see things as they are and don't take it all so personally.

Recorded March 22, 2025 in the virtual world

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Although the Buddha did not teach using the word hope, his teachings are, as Oren Jay Sofer says, fundamentally hopeful: It affirms that there is a reliable way to release ourselves from suffering, to protect other beings, mitigate harm, and build a better world.  In this talk Mary reflects on the importance of hope in this world today and how it is an action not tied to expectations or outcomes. As Austin Channing Brown says, "hope is a duty".

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The monkey mind is a phrase often used to describe a mind that is all over the place and seldom in the present. All of us experience monkey mind, overwhelm or the Pali word Papañca. In this reflection Mary invites us to recognize when we get lost in this proliferation of thought and how to stay present. In these difficult days, we can be overwhelmed quite easily and recognition and returning to this moment enable us to stay where we are and experience equanimity.

What is Papañca? by Andrew Olendzki
Buddha's Brain by Rick Ha...

A lovely definition of equanimity is to be intimate with our deepest experience, without preference. In this talk, Mary discusses what that means and doesn't mean and how no preference in this moment is a practice of liberation.

Recorded at the Insight Community of the Desert in Palm Springs on March 2, 2025

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Oftentimes we think that studying or following Buddhist teachings requires us to fit a certain mold or behave in a particular way. But this is not about a rigid practice and one size fits all. In this talk Mary reflects on how we're invited to live with righteous intention, grounded in love and wisdom. As Larry Ward says, we have "an evenness of heart and mind". Let the path be messy, love yourself and others, as you move toward liberation and the liberation of all beings.

Recorded Feb. 20, 2025 in the virtual world

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The Metta Sutta was the Buddha's offering to fearful monks and the practice of loving kindness and good will is still a path of liberation. As Ruth King says, metta is the antidote for aversion and those ways we hold ourselves captive. We live in fearful times and in this talk Mary discusses the practice of metta and how we can utilize it to free ourselves in these challenging days. 

Recorded Feb. 15, 2025 in the virtual world

All About Love by bell hooks
See No Stranger by Valarie Kaur
Lovingkindness by Sharon Salzberg

Inspired by a talk from Ayya Santacitta (We Are Not Without Medicine) Mary discusses how the world is in a time of darkness, and how our Buddhist practice helps us to move through it. We open to this moment and allow our wisdom and compassion move us towards the appropriate response. It is scary right now but we have our practice, and can move through this as we open to the moment.

Recorded Feb. 8, 2025 in the virtual world

Article: Association with the Wise by Bhikkhu Bodhi

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Scrolling through the talk titles on Dharmaseed can offer insight in how to maneuver through the difficult challenges we're all facing in 2025. Connection, community, compassion, clarity and intention, all important principles of practice support our capacity to hold the moment. In this talk, Mary reflects on how we build a solid foundation.

Recorded Feb. 1, 2025 in the virtual world

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Reflecting on a quote by Thich Nhat Hanh which says "There is not one action or one ritual that will bring you liberation" It require continual effort and commitment to practice. Mary discusses how this flies in the face of our culture's belief that it is up to us to find the fix that will bring us success or happiness or instant gratification. As we deal with the problems of the world and of our lives, we need to remember to be present, to open to the moment and to allow things to be as they are. 
Recorded J...

The Bodhisattva realm is an existence that is open to all of us and is as important today as it's ever been. It's one of the four realms in Mahayana tradition and Mary discusses how meaningful it can be for us to live in a way that is wise and of benefit to all. As Diana Winston says, it is a "...wonderful and useful archetype for our work as socially engaged Buddhists." We "choose to act with as much wisdom and compassion as we possible can." Today's world demands that we show up as a Bodhisattva where we can...

Sitting with the freshness of the destructive Los Angeles fires, Mary talks about how grief, anger and so many other emotions come and go and when they're challenging we push them away or ignore them, but that is perhaps the worst thing we can do. Our practice invites us to open to everything. To be with the grief and sadness can be frightening but we turn with gentleness and compassion towards these emotions and make space for what is already here. Find your way to holding the difficulties and let everything belong.
Recorded Jan. 11, 2025 in the virtual world.<...

We often make intentions at the beginning of a new year, but it's also important that our intentions have a solid foundation. In this talk Mary discusses what intentions are and how we support them with the precepts, the paramis or other core values that allow us to see clearly and move with wisdom and compassion. There is a short meditation at the end to reflect on your intentions.
Recorded Jan 5, 2025 at Insight Community of the Desert in Palm Springs

The Noble Eightfold Path by Bhikkhu Bodhi
Pay Attention for Goodness Sake by Sylvia Boorstein<...

Left to its own devices our minds will latch on to something and create whole scenarios and worlds that we then think are real. Often we create rules for behavior, either ours or others. When these rules clash with reality, we experience dukkha. When we practice mindfulness we develop the clarity needed to see these stories and rules for what they are and let them go, moving us toward liberation from craving and aversion. 
Recorded Dec. 28, 2024 in the virtual world

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How many times during the day or week do we experience situations that we find uncomfortable or unpleasant? We often react with annoyance or impatience which can tend to make it worse, even if only in our mind. In this talk Mary invites us to greet each moment with peace which is a way to be with whatever is going on with ease. We're not denying the unpleasant, but we're relating to it in an entirely different way which is where our freedom lies.
Recorded Dec. 21, 2024 in the virtual world

Peace Is Every Breath by Thich...

Oftentimes when faced with issues or problems in our lives, we ask what would the Buddhist response be. In the teachings however, the Buddha asked us to find our own way - to see for ourselves which actions are wise or unwise. The Buddha gave us a framework and foundation and invites us to cultivate our own wisdom in walking the path to liberation. In this talk Mary discusses how we do this and what it might look like for each of us.
Recorded Dec. 12, 2024 in the virtual world

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Plans go sideways all the time, things happen. How do we greet those moments? And how do we learn to recognize all the places we're stuck? Once we can begin to let go, then we can let things be without getting caught up in the first place. This is the freedom the Buddha promised, "liberation through not clinging."
Recorded Dec. 7, 2024 in the virtual world

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The topic of gratitude is quite common at this time of year and Mary discusses the idea of gratitude as a heart practice which also encompasses love and connection. Using the writing bell hooks as a starting point she invites us to let gratitude allow us to love and let our hearts be opened. The Buddha points out that "gratitude and contentment are the highest blessings" - definitely worth pursuing.
Recorded Nov. 30, 2024 in the virtual world.

Books mentioned: All About Love by bell hooks, See No Stranger by Valarie Kaur, The Road Less Traveled by M...

Suffering and Joy seem incompatible, but in this talk Mary shows how they are not mutually exclusive. Joy is not dependent on outside circumstances. As teacher Larry Ward has said, "Joy is possible in the midst of suffering and without ignoring the suffering." Using the wisdom of several authors, Mary talks about how we can access joy without waiting for everything to be okay. With our practice we create the conditions for joy to arise at any time.
Recorded Nov. 23, 2024 in the virtual world

Books mentioned in this talk:
Joy is My Justice by Taneet S...

In this talk Mary discusses two seemingly different ideas of what a foundation can be in our practice. There is the stillness and grounding of meditation practice and the foundation offered by the Eightfold Path. They are not mutually exclusive and in fact, work together on the path to liberation.
Recorded Nov. 16, 2024 in the virtual world

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The results of the 2024 presidential election in the United States have brought up several levels of grief, fear, anger, despair and many more emotions for several of us. In this talk Mary reflects on where we are right now, how to hold our experience, and how to move forward. Connection, community, practice and finding hope in the words and experiences of those who have walked this path before are vital in these challenging days. Stay connected, and don't miss the joy.
Recorded Nov. 9, 2024 in the virtual world

Link to Bhikkhu Bodhi's article mentioned in the talk<...

The Buddha said that the beautiful qualities of loving kindness, compassion, appreciative joy and equanimity are a natural arising of our insight practice. It's important to know that these qualities are present for each of us, especially in these moments of great challenges to our world. Learning to access them, whether through the traditional heart practices, or in other ways, helps us to take care of ourselves. Mary talks about finding this inner wellspring to support our journey.
Recorded Nov. 1, 2024 in the virtual world

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There is a lot of stress in our lives today. As the Buddha said, there is always dukkha. How do we take care of ourselves in these moments? Of course practice is always a resource but how do we take care of ourselves in other ways. In this talk Mary discusses various ideas for resourcing ourselves in these challenging times.
Recorded Oct. 24, 2024 in the virtual world

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The Buddha was remarkable in offering the teachings in many different ways. In this talk, Mary reflects on the Five Spiritual Faculties, sometimes called the Path of Wisdom. Faith, Energy, Mindfulness, Concentration and Wisdom support us in our daily lives on our path from delusion to clarity and awakening. The beauty of the teachings are that they are accessible to each of us and we can put them to use throughout our daily lives.
Recorded October 19, 2024 in the virtual world

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In this talk Mary reflects on the story of Milarepa and the Demons and invites us to imagine a spiritual path that has us befriend all parts of us, even the challenging bits. Although not part of the original tale, we're asked to invite our demons in for tea and shift our relationship with the present - no matter what it is.
Recorded October 12, 2024 in the virtual world

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The Pali word Sati is generally translated as mindfulness, but it can mean so much more. In this talk Mary reflects on all the different, yet similar meanings of the word, emphasizing how close it is to the idea of equanimity - being with the present moment, without preference or needing it to be different. Drawing from Bhante Gunaratana's classic, Mindfulness in Plain English, Mary offers ways to make this core teaching meaningful for each of us. Mary also reflects on the power of Sati during her recent hospital stay.
Recorded Oct. 5, 2024 in the virtual world<...

The Buddha taught us that all we have are our actions and our actions take place in this moment. But are we fully living in the moment? When we investigate the tentativeness of life - the recognition that nothing is certain - we can shift our relationship to the present and live in a way that is grounded in our core values. Mary discusses this idea and how to move towards a life that allows us to find our own way with the here and now.
Recorded Sept. 29, 2024 in the virtual world for Insight Community of the Desert<...