Midlife with Brooke

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In This Episode, You’ll Hear

In This Episode, You’ll Hear

Podcast Show Notes — Midlife with Brooke

Episode: Decluttering for Empty Nesters (with Rochelle Haywood)

Host: Brooke Oniki

Guest: Rachelle Heywood, Decluttering Coach

Episode Summary

Decluttering in midlife isn’t just about “getting organized”—it can be deeply emotional. In this conversation, Brooke sits down with decluttering coach Rachelle Heywood to talk about why clutter hits differently when you’re an empty nester (and often also managing aging parents’ belongings). They unpack the connection between our stuff, our memories, and our identity—and how decluttering can create space for the life you actuall...

Creating Safety in Yourself and Your Relationships

In this episode of Midlife with Brooke, we explore why safety—not pressure—is the foundation for healthy conversations with our adult children. When the nervous system feels threatened, we lose access to clarity, curiosity, and problem-solving. But when safety is restored, relationships soften and real dialogue becomes possible.

Brooke walks through practical, real-life examples—from shopping for jeans to pickleball stress to family finances—to show how easily we become dysregulated, and how quickly things can shift when we slow down and create safety in our bodies first.<...

The Nervous System Thrives on Choice

Recognizing the Trap & Widening the Options

When parenting adult children feels tense or confusing, it’s often because your nervous system feels trapped.

In this episode, Brooke shares a simple framework to help you calm anxiety and respond with clarity: recognize the trap and widen the options. When we believe there are only two bad choices, we become reactive. When we create more options, agency returns—and so does steadiness.

Brooke walks through real-life examples from her coaching work, including:

In this episode, Brooke shares a marriage webinar she taught a few years ago—packed with practical tools for strengthening connection, especially in the “kids are grown” season when the marriage dynamic often shifts. Brooke explains how you can change the feel of your marriage without waiting for your spouse to “try harder,” by focusing on what you can control: your thoughts, your emotions, and your choices.

Quick note: Brooke teaches in the first person for relatability, but many examples are composites from clients, conversations, and some personal experiences—meant to highlight the principles, not “tell on” her sweet husban...

Most of the things we regret saying or doing didn’t come from who we want to be—they came from discomfort we didn’t pause long enough to regulate.

In this practical and deeply relatable episode of Midlife with Brooke, Brooke Oniki introduces a simple but powerful emotional skill she calls The Power of Pause. Through everyday examples—missing razors, sticky cereal bowls, and family dynamics—Brooke shows how pausing before reacting gives your nervous system time to calm and your wiser self time to lead.

This episode is an invitation to stop reacting from irrit...

January often arrives with pressure—to reset, improve, fix, and do better. But what if this year, you entered January differently?

In this reflective episode of Midlife with Brooke, Brooke Oniki invites you to slow down and reconsider how you think about growth, New Year’s resolutions, and personal change. Instead of asking “What do I need to fix?”, Brooke offers a gentler, more grounded question: “How have I already changed?”

Drawing from personal holiday experiences, meaningful family moments, and faith-filled reflection, Brooke encourages midlife women to honor the emotional, physical, and spiritual effort they’ve already mad...

As the holidays approach, it’s easy to focus on what can be bought, wrapped, or checked off a list. But in this thoughtful episode of Midlife with Brooke, Brooke Oniki invites you to consider a different kind of wealth—one that can’t be purchased, rushed, or outsourced.

Inspired by the concept of quiet wealth, Brooke explores the parts of life that matter most and require daily attention: a calm mind, a healthy body, meaningful contribution, spiritual steadiness, and a house full of love. These aren’t one-time achievements—they’re ecosystems that are built gently, over time, t...

Judgment has a way of sneaking into even the most loving relationships—especially with our adult children. And during the holidays, when you’re spending more time together, it can show up even faster. In this grounding episode of Midlife with Brooke, Brooke Oniki explains why judging your kids feels so automatic, why it doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent, and how to gently shift from judgment to curiosity.

Brooke breaks down the brain science behind judgment and shows how our protective, survival-driven brain often mistakes difference for danger. When your kids live, believe, or choose d...

During the holidays, emotions tend to run higher—more people in the house, more events, more expectations, more layered dynamics with adult children and in-laws. In this deeply grounding episode of Midlife with Brooke, Brooke Oniki walks you through the four most common ways we respond to emotions—and why only one of them leads to true peace, connection, and emotional maturity.

Using real-life examples, including a surprisingly tender story about navigating the GPS on a family trip, Brooke teaches how reacting, resisting, and avoiding keep us stuck in frustration, shame, or overwhelm. Then she introduces the emot...

In Part 2 of this powerful series on missionary trauma and faith reconstruction, Brooke Oniki welcomes Erin Woodruff back to the podcast for a deeper, more intimate conversation about what healing actually looks like when a mission fractures your testimony, identity, or trust in God.

In this episode, Erin opens up about the parts of her story that needed more space—what made her mission uniquely difficult, what healing has required over the last 10 years, and why rebuilding a testimony from the ground up is both sacred and deeply personal.

Brooke and Erin talk honestly about la...

Mission experiences are supposed to strengthen faith—but for many, they do the exact opposite. In this powerful and vulnerable episode of Midlife with Brooke, Brooke Oniki sits down with life coach Erin Woodruff, whose mission experience left her testimony shaken, her trust damaged, and her spiritual foundation in pieces.

Erin bravely shares what it was like to return home feeling traumatized, confused, and spiritually lost—and what the long road of rebuilding has looked like over the past decade. This conversation is raw, honest, and deeply validating for anyone whose missionary experience (their own or their chil...

In today’s deeply thoughtful episode of Midlife with Brooke, Brooke Oniki sits down with her son-in-law Eli for an honest, heart-centered conversation about joining a new family, navigating faith differences, and learning how to meet in the middle with patience, curiosity, and love.

Eli shares what it felt like to join a close-knit family, how he and Megan have blended their different backgrounds, and why creating safety—not sameness—is what builds real connection. Together, Brooke and Eli talk about balancing traditions, respecting individual perspectives, and strengthening family relationships through genuine admiration and openness.

This i...

The holidays are meant to be joyful—but for many midlife women, they can also bring stress, pressure, and emotional overwhelm. In this thoughtful and practical episode of Midlife with Brooke, Brooke Oniki shares one simple mindset shift that can transform how you experience family gatherings, unmet expectations, and tricky moments with adult children or in-laws.

Brooke introduces the powerful tool “This Is the Part Where…”—a phrase that helps you move from reactivity to calm, drop resistance, and step into acceptance with compassion. You’ll learn how to use it in real time to stay grounded when people...

What if you stopped waiting for permission to rest, celebrate, or do what lights you up—and simply started giving yourself that permission every day?

In this soulful solo episode of Midlife with Brooke, Brooke Oniki shares the origin story of Brooke Fest—a playful birthday-week tradition that became a way of living with intention. Through warm storytelling and faith-centered reflection, Brooke invites midlife women to honor their needs, create rhythms of joy, and live from emotional and spiritual abundance.

You’ll hear:

The mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship can be one of the most tender—and sometimes tricky—connections to navigate. In this heartfelt and honest conversation, Brooke Oniki sits down with her daughter-in-law to talk openly about what they’ve both learned in seven years of sharing family, faith, and life together.

Mallory, the creator behind the popular food blog The Palatable Life and author of Cookie Club: 80 Creative Cookies to Make, Swap, and Share, shares her perspective on joining a close-knit family, learning new traditions, and finding her place as both a daughter-in-law and now a mother herself. Togeth...

Every parent wonders when (and how) to give advice to their adult kids—and when to stay quiet. In this heartfelt episode of Midlife with Brooke, Brooke Oniki sits down with her daughter Megan for an honest, funny, and deeply insightful conversation about what it’s really like on both sides of that question.

Megan, age 24, shares her experiences navigating early adulthood—marriage, moving across the country, starting a career—and what’s actually helpful (and not so helpful) when parents offer advice. Together, she and Brooke unpack the unspoken dynamics between parents and grown children, including the emotio...

Every missionary has a story—but few tell it with as much honesty, humor, and heart as Brooke Oniki’s youngest daughter, Kaitlyn. In this moving and insightful conversation, Brooke and Kaitlyn sit down to talk about what missionary life is really like: the highs, the heartbreaks, and everything in between.

From the day she opened her mission call to her final transfer home, Kaitlyn shares what she learned about faith, obedience, emotional resilience, and love. Together, she and Brooke explore how parents can better understand and support their missionaries—without pressure, guilt, or unrealistic expectations.

You’...

When someone you love starts to question their faith, it can stir up deep emotion—sadness, confusion, fear, and sometimes even guilt. In this tender follow-up to her heartfelt conversation with her daughter, Allie, Brooke Oniki shares what she’s learning about faith, love, and agency as a mother walking that road with grace.

Brooke opens up about the real, human process of holding two truths at once: feeling sadness when things look different than she expected, while also feeling peace and hope in God’s timing. Through scripture, reflection, and personal experience, she shares how she’s learni...

What do you do when someone you love starts to question their faith? How do you stay connected, curious, and loving when your beliefs—and even your choices—don’t line up anymore?

In one of the most honest and heartfelt episodes yet, Brooke Oniki sits down with her daughter, Allie, for a vulnerable conversation about faith transitions, parenting adult children, and learning to lead with curiosity instead of fear.

Together, they share their real-time experiences navigating faith differences with grace, humility, and compassion. There are no scripts, no easy answers—just love, honesty, and the desi...

Parenting doesn’t end when your kids become adults—but the rules change. In this heartfelt episode of Midlife with Brooke, certified life coach Brooke Oniki shares her personal journey of learning to parent adult children with love, respect, and faith.

Interviewed by fellow coach Sara Payne, Brooke opens up about her own transition into the empty nest years, the pain of letting go, and the joy of creating new, healthy connections with her grown children. She shares five powerful secrets that will help you strengthen your bond with your adult kids without control, guilt, or fear.

When the kids leave home—or even as they grow more independent—it’s common for women in midlife to ask: What now? After decades of pouring energy into raising families, many women feel both excited and unsure about the next chapter.

In this empowering episode of Midlife with Brooke, Brooke Oniki talks with Bonnie Wiscombe, online business coach and certified life coach, about how women can rediscover themselves, step into new callings, and create meaningful impact in the “mission phase” of life.

Bonnie shares her own story of raising ten children while building businesses online, an...

Every woman wants to show up strong, healthy, and vibrant for her family—especially when grandkids arrive. But in midlife, sugar cravings, low energy, and the changes of perimenopause and menopause can make that vision feel far away.

In this inspiring episode of Midlife with Brooke, Brooke Oniki sits down with Jille Dunsmore, an advanced certified life, weight, and mindset coach, to talk about how midlife women can take back their health, build strength, and create a body they love.

Jille shares her personal story of overcoming decades of sugar addiction, reframing her relationship with he...

Welcome to a brand-new series on Midlife with Brooke called Midlife Matters—conversations designed to give women in midlife practical tools, fresh perspective, and hope for this meaningful season of life.

In this first episode, Brooke Oniki sits down with Sara Payne, a Master Certified Relationship Coach and marriage expert, to talk about one of the biggest shifts midlife women face: what happens to your marriage when the kids start leaving home?

You’ll learn:

Do you ever feel weighed down by the endless list of “shoulds”? Be a good mom. Keep the house clean. Stay healthy. Show up for every family event. Read scriptures. Serve your community. For many midlife women, the mental checklist feels overwhelming—like an overstuffed closet.

In this episode of Midlife with Brooke, Brooke Oniki, a faith-based life coach for Christian women in midlife, shares a powerful tool to help you “clean house in your head.” By emptying out your mental list of obligations and deciding which ones you actually want to keep, you’ll create more peace, clari...

Boundaries can feel tricky, can’t they? Especially when it comes to adult children. For years, we managed their lives—bedtimes, meals, homework, playdates. But as they grow, our role changes. And sometimes, when they set boundaries with us—or when we need to set them ourselves—it can sting.

In this episode of Midlife with Brooke, Brooke Oniki shares why boundaries aren’t walls meant to keep us apart, but guideposts that help us love each other better. She explores what it looks like to shift from being the manager of our kids’ lives to becoming a supportive...

For decades, many women have carried the quiet (or not-so-quiet) weight of body shame—waiting until we lose 10 pounds, fit into a smaller size, or look younger before we can finally feel at peace with ourselves. In this vulnerable episode of Midlife with Brooke, Brooke Oniki shares her personal journey of learning to love her body—right here, right now—without waiting for perfection.

Brooke explores:

In every close relationship—especially with adult children, in-laws, and spouses—there are moments when you wonder: Should I say something… or just let it go? In this episode of Midlife with Brooke, Brooke Oniki shares a thoughtful, faith-centered framework to help you discern when speaking up builds connection and when staying quiet preserves peace.

Brooke walks you through:

It happens to the best of us—those moments when your adult kids make plans, share inside jokes, or connect over things you’re not part of. You love them, but a quiet ache settles in: Am I being left out? Am I not as important as I used to be?

In this episode of Midlife with Brooke, host Brooke Oniki gently unpacks the emotions that surface when you feel overlooked. She shares personal experiences and client stories that will help you process those feelings with compassion and respond in ways that keep your relationships strong.

Yo...

Are you still parenting from the top down—even though your kids are grown? In this episode of Midlife with Brooke, host Brooke Oniki explores the transformative shift from vertical to horizontal parenting: a powerful reframe that fosters mutual respect, deep connection, and lasting influence in your adult relationships.

Whether you're navigating tension with an adult child, offering advice that goes unheard, or feeling dismissed and unheard yourself, this episode will help you step into a more emotionally safe and spiritually grounded way of loving and leading.

You’ll learn:

We all carry dreams of how life "should" go—but what happens when those dreams don’t match reality? In this compassionate episode of Midlife with Brooke, host Brooke Oniki offers a heartfelt and faith-rooted framework for releasing disappointment and finding peace in what is—even when it doesn’t look like what you hoped for.

Through real-life stories—from missed expectations on vacation to faith transitions in family members—Brooke gently guides you to surrender your resistance, grieve what was lost, and discover the unexpected goodness that can come when you stop arguing with reality.

In this soul-centering episode of Midlife with Brooke, host Brooke Oniki invites you to release the pressure of carrying the emotional burdens of everyone around you. Whether you’re holding onto your children’s anxiety, your spouse’s stress, or even the emotional tension in a room—Brooke offers gentle, faith-rooted wisdom to help you let go of what was never yours to carry in the first place.

You’ll learn:

Have you ever noticed your peace disappear the moment someone else walks in the room with a heavy sigh or a short tone? In this episode of Midlife with Brooke, host Brooke Oniki explores the concept of emotional mirroring—when we unconsciously absorb the moods and energy of those around us, especially the people we love.

You’ll learn:

In this powerful episode of Midlife with Brooke, host Brooke Oniki explores how unspoken rules—our “manuals” for other people—quietly create pain, disconnection, and control in our closest relationships. Whether it’s your child, spouse, in-law, or friend, expecting them to follow a script they never agreed to can erode trust and emotional safety.

Brooke breaks down:

In this episode of Midlife with Brooke, host Brooke Oniki invites you to step back from the emotional swirl and gently ask: Is this the story—or just the facts? Whether it’s conflict with a daughter-in-law, an old wound that still stings, or a narrative you’ve repeated for years, Brooke guides you through the empowering process of separating truth from assumption.

Using heartfelt stories and real coaching tools, Brooke shows how the stories we tell ourselves shape our emotions, our relationships, and even our sense of self—and how shifting those stories can bring deep peace an...

Life has its ups and downs—and sometimes the downs sneak up on us over a cup of spilled vinegar or an unexpected comment at a bridal shower. In this heartfelt episode of Midlife with Brooke, Brooke Oniki walks us through how to navigate emotional dips with self-compassion, spiritual grounding, and practical tools.

Instead of numbing out with cookies, social media, or frustration, Brooke offers a better path: feel your feelings, without abandoning yourself. Learn how to ride the waves of emotion while keeping your peace and your purpose intact.

You’ll learn:

In this special episode of Midlife with Brooke, Brooke Oniki shares her impactful presentation from BYU Women’s Conference 2025 on a topic close to many hearts: how to nurture and strengthen your relationship with your adult children.

Drawing on her experience as a faith-based life coach, mother of four adult children, and disciple of Jesus Christ, Brooke offers both spiritual insight and boots-on-the-ground strategies to help you love more deeply, set boundaries with grace, and stop letting fear or comparison get in the way of meaningful connection.

You’ll learn:

Welcome to Midlife with Brooke, the podcast for women navigating the beautiful and unpredictable season of midlife with intention, faith, and emotional resilience.

In this episode, Brooke Oniki dives deep into the concept of self-trust—not as a buzzword, but as a vital emotional muscle we need to strengthen in partnership with God. She shares heartfelt personal stories, including a relatable cookie catastrophe that wasn’t, and explores why so many of us struggle to trust our own judgment.

You’ll learn: