Grief, I Didn't Sign Up for This

In this special mother–daughter episode, host Shaleka Smith sits down with her 19-year-old daughter for an honest, funny, and heartfelt conversation about funeral etiquette across generations.

From traditional black attire and quiet reverence to today’s bright colors, hashtags, and “celebrations of life,” they explore how customs have evolved — and what those changes say about the way we honor loss. Together, they unpack everything from church etiquette and sermons to social media, grief expression, and the growing gap between sacred traditions and modern trends.

It’s real talk about respect, remembrance, and the cultural...

Have you ever thought you were finally past your grief—only for it to hit you out of nowhere years later? In this deeply personal episode, host Shaleka Smith explores the surprising ways grief can resurface during milestones, quiet moments, or unexpected memories.

Through heartfelt storytelling, faith-filled reflection, and practical guidance, Shaleka reminds listeners that resurfacing grief isn’t failure—it’s love revisiting. You’ll hear about the day a simple memory pulled her back into tears, why grief cycles through our lives like seasons, and how to honor the emotions that come back.

Wheth...

In this episode of Grief, I Didn’t Sign Up for This, host Shaleka Smith explores how children experience grief and how adults can guide them through it with compassion and honesty. Grief doesn’t just affect adults—children process loss in their own unique ways, and without guidance, they may carry confusion or fear into the future.

Shaleka breaks down what grief looks like at different developmental stages, why it’s important to talk openly with children about death, and best practices for helping them navigate loss. From using age-appropriate language and encouraging questions to creating memory r...

Not every connection in grief is healthy.

In this powerful episode, Shaleka Smith unpacks the difference between trauma bonding and building a grief community. Though both can begin with shared pain, only one leads to lasting healing.

Through storytelling, scripture, reflection prompts, and real-life examples, you’ll discover:

If...

Gun violence claims over 100 lives a day in the U.S., but behind every statistic is a human being—and a family left to grieve in silence. In this powerful episode, we’re joined by Enyd Scott, founder of Red Community Organization, a nonprofit dedicated to honoring the lives lost to gun violence and supporting the loved ones left behind.

Enyd shares how grief became her mission after losing her daughter’s father to gun violence, and how she created a space that humanizes those we’ve lost—not just as victims, but as parents, siblings...

In this powerful and honest episode of Grief, I Didn’t Sign Up for This, host Shaleka Smith breaks down the well-meaning but often hurtful things people say to those who are grieving—and what you should say instead. From “Everything happens for a reason” to “Be strong,” we explore why these phrases can unintentionally deepen someone’s pain and how we can offer true comfort instead.

With real-life stories, scripture, and a touch of humor, Shaleka guides listeners through the do’s and don’ts of grief support. Whether you're walking with someone through loss or healing from your...

In this episode of Grief, I Didn’t Sign Up for This, we dive into one of the most complex emotions that grief brings—guilt. Inspired by Milton Butler’s story from Grief, I Didn’t Sign Up for This, we explore the overwhelming feeling of wishing we had done things differently and how those thoughts can consume us. Whether it’s the regret of missed moments, unspoken words, or the haunting question of "what if," guilt can make the grieving process even more difficult.  

Join me as we unpack why we carry this burden, how it affects our...

In this powerful episode of Grief, I Didn’t Sign Up for This, host Shaleka Smith sits down with Alea Allen, an educator who previously taught in Chicago and who has faced the unimaginable—losing multiple students to gun violence. Inspired by the heartfelt chapter Empty Seat by Alea Allen, this conversation sheds light on the grief teachers carry while continuing to show up for their students daily.  

Shaleka and Alea discuss the emotional toll of seeing a student’s name on the roster after they’re gone, the pressure to be strong in the fa...

In this powerful and heartfelt episode of Grief, I Didn't Sign Up for This, Shaleka Smith invites listeners to explore the idea of writing their own obituary—both literally and metaphorically. Inspired by the New York Times article “Write Your Own Obit,” Shaleka discusses why taking ownership of your life story is a gift to your loved ones and a guide for living with purpose.

She breaks down what key elements to include in an obituary, shares how obituary writing can be a tool for healing and reflection, and challenges listeners to ask the deeper questi...

In this episode of Grief, I Didn't Sign Up for This, we discuss the emotional masks we wear while grieving. So many of us say "I'm fine" when we're anything but. We feel the pressure to be strong, keep busy, and hold it all together—often at the cost of our healing. But what happens when we remove the mask and allow ourselves to grieve honestly?  

Join me as we explore the different types of grief masks, why we wear them, and the toll they take on our emotional, spiritual, and physical well-being. We'll also examine what scr...

What happens when the person who caused you deep pain dies, and the world expects you to grieve them? In this powerful episode, host Shaleka Smith sits down with a sexual assault survivor and advocacy worker, Saunté Harden-Tate, to explore the complicated emotions that surface when an abuser passes away.

From unexpected relief to lingering guilt, awkward condolences to silent rage, this conversation gets real about the grief no one talks about—but so many survivors carry.

With honesty, empathy, and a few much-needed laughs (yes, we make room for cheesecake and shady sid...

In this episode of Grief, I Didn't Sign Up for This, we reflect on the journey to Resurrection Sunday and the deep emotions that come with life's challenges. Just as Jesus experienced grief and anguish before His Resurrection, we, too, go through painful processes before breakthrough moments. Even when we know victory is ahead, the weight of the journey can still be overwhelming.  

Let's explore the parallels between Jesus' suffering and our own struggles, reminding us that while grief and hardship may feel like our Good Friday, our Sunday—our Resurrection—is coming. Tune in for an uplif...

In this episode of Grief, I Didn't Sign Up for This, we dive into one of the most unexpected and painful experiences—losing a friend who is in your age range. Inspired by DeAnna Gibson's heartfelt story in Grief, I Didn't Sign Up for This, we explore the shock, sadness, and reality check that comes with losing a peer far too soon.

How do we process the finality of their absence? How do we cope with the way their passing forces us to confront our mortality? And how can we honor their memory while continuing to live ou...

On this episode of Grief, I Didn't Sign Up for This, we explore the importance of slowing down and allowing ourselves the time and space to process grief. In a world that often pressures us to "move on" quickly, we discuss why true healing requires patience, self-compassion, and intentional reflection. I'll share personal experiences, practical strategies for embracing stillness, and the ways grief manifests when we try to rush through it. Whether you're in the early stages of loss or revisiting old wounds, this episode reminds you that grief has no deadline—and neither do you.

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In this episode of Grief, I Didn’t Sign Up for This, we explore the delicate balance between sorrow and joy. Can you experience moments of happiness while still carrying deep grief? Is it possible to honor your loss while allowing yourself to embrace joy without guilt?  

Join me as I dive into this emotional and thought-provoking topic, sharing personal reflections, insights from grief experts, and stories of resilience. We’ll discuss how joy doesn’t erase grief but can exist alongside it, offering light even in the darkest moments.  

If you've ever struggled with allowing...

Turning 40 is a significant milestone filled with celebration, reflection, and maybe a bit of panic! In this episode of Grief, I Didn't Sign Up for This Podcast, I’m sharing my thoughts on reaching this new decade and the grief that comes with aging and not having loved ones around to celebrate with you.  

We’ll talk. We'll embrace life, trust God's plan, and make our way to being genuinely content for our celebration! Whether you are having a milestone birthday or simply trying to make the most of each day while grieving, this conversation is for you...

Grief is a universal experience, yet it is often misunderstood. In this episode of Grief, I Didn't Sign Up for This, we embark on a heartfelt journey to explore the many facets of grief—its complexities, unexpected forms, and the ways we can navigate it with faith, compassion, and resilience. Hosted by Shaleka Smith, this podcast provides a safe space for reflection, healing, and encouragement for anyone who has faced loss in any form.

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