The Teen Commandments

Hi-De-Hi! As ever there are some absolute cracking emails in this week’s episode. 

One listener reveals the most cringing story involving a dog and a used condom, plus this week Teen Commandments celebrates the world of teens and their parents' embracing differences in sexuality, with a gorgeous email from a listener. 

Brace yourself, a dance mom has been in touch - and yes, it’s an exhausting life. And Cathy, an OG TC crew member, has been in touch about a rocky incident with her 16-year-old involving military police. 

Plus, another listener has dis...

Gather round everyone whilst Sara & Clare try and unpack the astonishing minds of teenagers. This week the best friends want to know why kids are taught the most annoying musical instruments? And yes recorders and violins, they are looking at you! Sara’s let her teenagers do their own holiday packing. What could possibly go wrong? And why do teens have to take litres of micellar water? Talking of water…  water parks are dissected in detail that we can all relate to! Clare ponders what you do as a parent when your teens suddenly declare everything on holiday is “boring”? P...

Countless cracking emails from the listeners this week, with stories of teenagers pooing in strange places and pocketing half penny sweets. 

A listener’s teenager has returned from DofE and yes, it’s gone as well as you’d probably expect. Another tells us about the consequences of inviting the ‘fun boys’ to her teenage party. 

There’s talk of empty nests and the mixed feelings it brings plus some personal news: Clare’s popped her paneer cherry. 

PS. Sara & Clare are back on the Gogglebox sofa again this Friday...

Fresh from the Gogglebox sofa, Sara and Clare are back in the Teen Commandments shed trying to work out the mind-bending behaviour of teenagers. 

This week Sara’s been spotted whilst heading off on a romantic jaunt in Italy, Clare’s been rustling up a curry and they’ve both discovered Mother Root. 

The male teens in their lives have had an eventful week. Sara’s son was heading off to a fancy dress party and Clare’s son was supposed to be hosting a Love Island party. 

There’s talk of teenage hairstyles and...

We’ve dived back into the inbox and there’s some absolute corkers from you!

In this ‘Your Turn’ a teen steals from mum’s snack stash so she’s getting sweet revenge by spilling the beans on how their family’s ‘Ask Me Anything’ policy led to red faces all round…

Another mum introduces us to the ‘chocolate fairy’ - a wholesome tradition or something that belongs on Urban Dictionary?

During recording Clare gets a LIVE text from her teen. What madly urgent request could he possibly have?

After nearly 3 decades in showbiz has Clare managed to get Sara cancelled? Brace yourselves as the pair make their Celebrity GoggleBox debut (catch up with it on Channel 4).

Before they go into hiding, Sara & Clare are comparing teachers then and now. From firm favourites and fisticuffs between school staff to uniform rules and ski pant punishments - it’s fair to say that times have thankfully changed.

Summer is in full swing and teens are heading on parent-free hols, whether it’s a lads’ jaunt to Ayia Napa or a cider-drenched UK trip...

Sara and Clare are back to read all your excellent emails in this week’s Your Turn.

A listener’s been in touch about a not-so-secret garden and another has mortified her son by inviting all the teachers round.

With the help of a brilliant listener, Sara and Clare embark on the history of tampons and there’s a proper gasp moment at a listener's confessions of teenage rage.

Plus, Sara and Clare have some big TV news. No spoilers, but it contains the words Goggle and Box.

...

Sara and Clare are back, trying to work out the chaotic minds of teenagers.

This week a new gaming gadget has appeared in Sara’s house and Clare’s horrified her teenage son by drunkenly dancing in his bedroom with her pals.

Sara & Clare discuss the highs and lows of first love - the heartbreak, the jealousy, the lost art of slamming down of phones, and how do we help our teens be kind when relationships end?

The harsh reality of bullying is discussed; the long-lasting effects, who’s t...

It’s time to open the inbox again and get your stories. 

A non-parent has been in touch, which Sara & Clare are thrilled about. He’s just here for the laughs and to share his touching if toe-curling story of coming out to his parents.  

Another parent has waved her teenage son off to his first festival and one mum has been reduced to tears by her teenager.

A trio of teens have been bickering over a Sunday Roast, plus lie back and enjoy a fruity st...

It’s been a busy week at TCHQ: Sara’s taken out a swanky gym membership to bond with her son, and Clare’s been left totally speechless by her teenage son’s revelation. 

Sara and Clare confess their petty theft crimes and there’s chat about their raving days! How times have changed… this week Sara got refused entry to a swanky Soho bar because she was eating an apple! Thankfully, Clare was on hand to film it all: Check out their Instagram for the video evidence. 

Send us your raving stories a...

It’s time for the legends, aka the Teen Commandments listeners, to share their brilliant teen tales. 

One mum is all L plates & pure panic as she braces herself for the teen’s driving lessons. Another mum wonders if anyone else has a teenager who will either end up running the world or locked up on G Wing!

A listener has absolutely won the award for the most unhinged bedroom decorations as a teenager plus Crocs on country walks are back, and so is the Kickers chat. 

Meanwhile, Sara is very happy with her su...

This week’s episode comes live from the shed, where Sara Cox and Clare Hamilton try to understand the primitive behaviour of teenagers. 

Why do teens call you at work with the most random questions?… Clare’s daughter has called her at work shouting about her jeans, and Sara’s been disturbed, whilst live on air, by her youngest with an ‘urgent call’ about a top! 

Sara & Clare discuss the universal parental guilt and the worry that all the kids are going to end up in therapy, and the sticky issue of teenagers and their attitude to ca...

It’s Your Turn, where Sara and Clare attempt to untangle the bird-brained behaviour of teenagers, courtesy of your brilliant emails.

This week our listeners have excelled themselves! From Ouija boards to condoms and dogs - it’s all go!

Please let’s all say a small prayer for the listener who has six boys. She’s pretty much got a loyalty card for A&E and is apparently a ‘fun sponge’. Another mum with 5 teenage boys, was asked to have ‘the sex chat’, and it’s not what you think!

...

This week, Sara and Clare’s best-friendship is firmly solidified by the sniffing of a beefy face.

Summer holidays are looming which means a house full of flopping teenagers; their nocturnal habits, midnight cereal bowls and zero vitamin D. 

It’s also BBQ season, which means social gatherings with parents and teens. Clare’s daughter made a loud declaration at one family function and Sara reveals a truly toe-curling teenage moment of her own. 

There’s also chat about the difference between teen girls and boys and their social diaries plus essentially, there’s a boob upd...

Come on in for period chat, as one listener has tampon trouble plus a mum’s been in touch to share the most memorable moment of her parenting life. Spoiler alert - the story contains a drawer and a poo. 

A teacher’s been in touch with a spectacular story about a group of year 8 boys and one gorgeous listener has recommended Teen Commandments to the police.  

Ooh and you know how Sara and Clare have always said they are absolutely not here to give advice? Well never forget that Sara has her 20-meter swimming badge...

Best friends Sara and Clare welcome you back to the Teen Commandment shack where they try and make sense of the startling behaviour of teenagers.

It’s been a big week at Casa Cox, as Sara and her daughter have moved into an exciting new stage of their mother / daughter relationship, meanwhile Clare’s had a special moment where her teens have actually been kind to each other…though how long will it last? 

Smooch, snog, open mouthed… Sara and Clare discuss their first kisses. Sara’s was with a footballer lookalike and Clare’s was down a gi...

Hey gang, welcome along, it’s Your Turn where Sara & Clare dive into your emails to see how you’re coping with this “parenting teens” lark as well as lolling at your tales of your own teen adventures from back in the day.

In todays’ episode, a school pal of Sara’s makes an appearance… Will Sara remember her and what stories will be revealed? 

A despairing mum has been in touch with details of the punishment she’s given her newly tattoo’d 16 year old, and another listener is going through revision hell.

Also, courtesy of...

Welcome TC crew! You know the saying “you’re only as happy as your least happiest kid”? Well, it’s been a gold star week for Sara and Clare at TCHQ.

It’s a momentous time for loads of parents and teens across the UK as GCSEs, A-Levels & Highers are afoot, bringing an end to school runs and crazy teenage morning routines. 

Plus, there’s talk of school awards - why does the same kid always win everything? 

Clare opens up on the reason behind her exercise journey and Sara dreams of a Teen Commandme...

Sara & Clare go through your emails, letters, stories and confessions about parenting teens and your own naughty teenage years.  

One mum’s been accused by her teen of having a “sex party” and a dad’s been in touch, potentially trying to chat-up Clare, which has sparked a whole new reality show idea. 

Meanwhile, another listener has had risotto night rudely interrupted by her teens starting WW3. 

Another mum has been branded a “nutter” by her son, and Sara and Clare think he may have a point. Plus, a listener’s teenage daughter has a new Pope vot...

Find a space, get comfy, help yourself to drinks… Sara and Clare are here for you, trying to tackle even more bonkers teenage behaviour. 

This week Clare’s been woken up by her teenage daughter with an ultimatum and Sara’s son has grimaced when she’s gone in for a hug. 

Sara and Clare reminisce on their own teenage bedrooms, and the ‘aesthetic’ demands from their own teens. 

There’s talk of sex toys and Sara confuses Ben Shepherd for Ben Affleck. These two things are NOT connected. 

And it’s time for grandpare...

More of your mind-blowing gob-smacking stories and confessions in this week’s Teen Commandments, Your Turn!

A listener shares the heart shattering pain of hearing the worst 3 words that can come out of your teen’s mouth.

Talking of mouths, there’s a proper “noooooooo” story about a teen’s 18th birthday party.

Plus there’s chatter about love bites, Easter egg hunts and accidental drug smuggling.

Email us at hello@teencommandments.co.uk  
📲 Follow us on Instagram: @djsaracox, @clarehamilton__

👩‍💻Visit www.theteencommandments.co.uk
🎙Teen Commandments is a Sara Cox Produc...

Sara Cox & Clare Hamilton are back in the shed with more tales of mind-foggling teen behaviour. 

Sara and her husband had a romantic weekend away which meant her teens were given a tedious TED talk on how to lock doors and feed cats. 

Clare’s son has accused her of spamming his phone and Sara’s connecting with her son through the medium of badly angled gym videos. And why do teenagers decide that midnight is the best time for an in-depth parental chat? 

Prom season is upon us, so bank balances are being d...

Emails from Teen Commandments disciples have been plucked out of the inbox for Sara and Clare to share with the world. 

There’s talk of Imperial Leather and Old Spice for the parents whilst the teens demand the serums, acids and oils to fuel their skincare obsessions. 

A listener’s lost her ruler, only to discover her boys have been using it in the bathroom! Another listeners’ son has demanded condoms in a larger size and we learn there are many more places, other than toilets, that teens choose to pee in. 

It’s not been a glamorous start to the week at TCHQ! Clare’s been playing the role of both referee and nurse with her teenagers, and Sara’s taken to sleeping on the sofa.

 It’s exam season so the offspring are in revision mode and big compromises are having to be made, from clearing out garages to postponing trips. 

 There’s been public PDAs in front of cringing teens, Professor Clare has another half-baked science fact and standby for a (not-so) tall tale involving a Cuban heel. 

 How do YOU navigate keeping the rom...

More hilarious tales of teenager behaviour, courtesy of your fabulous emails. 

One dad has done a ‘deal’ with their teen to avoid them both getting into big trouble. Teen Commandments listeners want to know why teens don’t open curtains & what do they actually do at the gym? Plus it’s official, we can send a popstar into space, yet no parent will ever solve the mystery of the wet towels. 

Sara and Clare ponder why teens wrap up in the heat but shed layers in arctic conditions, plus the best pals grass e...

Heroes, Hikes & Public Rows

This week Sara and Clare strike a pose as they become beauty influencers - kinda. 

Another man makes an impression on Clare on the train, but not in a good way.

There’s booze free shocks, teens hiking in slippers (& no socks), underbum management and public transport meltdowns as Sara and Clare navigate entertaining the teens during the Easter hols.

Email us at hello@teencommandments.co.uk  

Follow us on Instagram: @djsaracox, @clarehamilton__

Visit www.theteencomm...

Your Turn goes international as Sara and Clare open up the email inbox via Cyprus and Manchester.

Sara’s on sunscreen duty, treading the fine line between trying to protect the teens without being a nag, whilst Clare’s method involves her flashing a crinkly body part and shouting “see!”

There’s pornaggeddon for one shocked dad and toilet etiquette is back with a vengeance - one story quite literally makes Sara gasp!

‘Special cuddles’ are discussed and what the heck do you say when a teenage...

This week’s Teen Commandments 

comes with an all-inclusive buffet and sea views.

Sara is on holiday with two teenagers, feeling thoroughly left out of the gang, whilst Clare is back in the Manchester salon, where she refuses to do any teenagers hair.

Asides from hair and holidays, Sara and Clare want to know where all the hair bobbles go? How do teens create a tangled mess with every electrical wire they own? And who was more sensible as teenagers: themselves or their kids?

Single parents have assembled! They’ve flooded the Teen Commandments inbox with messages of support and coping tips for those who go from being full-time parents to childless at weekends. 

On a less touching note, there are more tales of drunken vomiting! We hear from a mum who has accidentally plied her daughter with shots, while another parent wins the award for ‘the world’s most resourceful sick bowl’… 

Plus, have you ever wondered what Sara’s dream funeral would be like? Well, wonder no more! Sara & Clare are the hosts of this week’s ‘...

Sara & Clare’s strict health regime has come to end so they’ve excitedly tumbled off the wagon to discover they’re now complete lightweights. 

This week Clare’s caught the eye of yet another man on the train and Sara’s worked out the easiest way to keep teenagers happy. Spoiler alert, it involves hard cash. 

Sara & Clare open up about their experiences of being step-parents, navigating wicked stepmothers of their own and raising their own kids in blended households. 

The matter of virginity com...

The email inbox is back open and it’s full of corkers!

One listener discovers her daughter’s bold new piercing - self inflicted & not even in her ears, another’s room was so messy the police presumed it had been burgled and one confused lad has a question about teachers and sexual positions.

Oh and it’s official … (well according to one TC listener) having teens is as demanding as having a newborn & a disgruntled mum relives the cutting moment her teen popped in her AirPods & said “bye”

This week Sara & Clare discuss the ins and outs, quite literally, of talking to teenagers about sex education. Brace for condoms on bananas, vibrators, orgasms, and the serious matters of sexting and body shaming. Away from the PHSE chatter, there’s revelations of teen parties, houses being trashed & emergency services being called. Outside of the podcast, it’s been a busy week for Sara and Clare - find out which of them dramatically blocked a toilet with an alleged ladypoo and who has had minor plastic surgery…plus Sara reveals which pop star she’s already lined up as a new be...

It’s all about you babes, as Sara & Clare read more of your brilliant teen emails. 

Toilet tales continue and a mum highlights the noises you get whenever you ask your teen to do anything.

Sara and Clare ponder why teens ask the most ridiculous questions about the simplest of things? Plus, there’s talk of rumpy pumpy pleasure, a son’s SOS from uni and party confessions.

Oh and remember the cringetastic time Clare sent her teenage son those Sinead O’Connor lyrics?… Well, it tu...

Sara and Clare discuss the shopping items their darling offspring demand and Clare reveals her brilliant way of controlling her teens’ alcohol consumption.

Who is the bad cop in Sara’s house? And how does Clare navigate being the only sheriff in town?

Meanwhile, Sara & Clare have been doing more media this week, and it’s not as glamorous as you may think. 

Plus, Sara reveals the huge Hollywood star she once shared a waterslide with.

Email us at  hello@tee...

The Teen Commandments inbox is bursting open again for your chance to dish the dirt on your precious teenagers. 

This week a dad has solved the issue of teens slamming doors, a teenager has demanded to know the full details of his conception, whilst another proudly announces they’ve “found a pube”.

Sara and Clare’s quest to try to solve the ‘Bruh’ confusion continues and Teen Commandment’s favourite swearword is back (& may now be Clare’s catchphrase).

Email us at  hello@teencommandments.co.uk  

Follo...

This week, Sara discusses celebrating her teenage son’s birthday. She shares the one

(quite vital) thing missing on the night…

Driving lessons are on the agenda too, plus Clare shares the VERY clear guidelines her

kids have put in place for any mum taxi moments.

There’s also a throwback to the bad old days of permed fringes, blue eyeshadow and

shell suits. Oh, and watch out for Sara & Clare’s new range of

Goop-inspired candles in the shops… Probably never.

Sara & Clare are diving back into your teen tales.

One listener shares how her son’s obsession with protein has led to a poultry-based ban.

Another mum admits her teens are sending her round the u-bend with their lack of toilet etiquette.

And once again ‘procrasti-wank’ returns. Will the podcast ever escape it?!

Email us at hello@teencommandments.co.uk  

Follow us on Instagram: @djsaracox, @clarehamilton_ 

Visit www.theteencommandments.co.uk

Teen Commandments is a Sara Cox Production

Warning! This week’s episode contains a totally cringe confession of a mother's desperate need for attention from her teenage son. 

To prevent their teenage daughters looking like new members of the Pussycat Dolls, Sara and Clare attempt to enforce the ‘clothing rule of 3’. 

Meanwhile, there’s talk of sex toys, £90 polyester dresses, swearing at Alexa, and Tom Cruise even gets a mention.

 Email us at  hello@teencommandments.co.uk  

Follow us on Instagram: @djsaracox, @clarehamilton_ 

Visit www.theteencommandments.co.uk

Teen Comm...

Your Turn: Bum Sticks, Mumbling and ‘Bruh’

It’s time for listeners’ emails and – as ever – they don’t disappoint. 

This week a mum reveals the cringe conversations she’s had about wet dreams. 

One listener has had enough of the wet towel situation and taken matters into her own hands. 

Clare attempts to remember some science she once read about testosterone surges in teenage boys, whilst Sara draws the line at her kids calling her ‘Bruh’. 

Oh, and who else remembers Tammy Girl...

There’s been some accidental arson in Sara’s house and she’s on a mission to find out the culprit, meanwhile Clare reveals her parenting fail to tackle her teens swearing. 

Clare and Sara ponder why teenagers can’t close a car door properly and this week they’ve learnt not to push a dental floss stick through your belly button piercing. 

Meanwhile, Clare’s been eyeing up men on the train and find out what made Sara cry in a bar last week.  

 Email us at hello@teencommand...