How To Blow Up Your Life

Ever feel like you're back in middle school, standing with your cafeteria tray, wondering where to sit? That's exactly how I felt at Cheryl Strayed's writing conference - until I met Amy and Kendra. We bonded over our shared anxieties: wrong socks, awkward parking encounters, and the universal fear of not being accepted.

This episode dives deep into how three grown women navigated vulnerability, imposter syndrome, and the truth beneath the truth. We explore why we fixate on small things (like socks) when we're really worried about bigger issues (like belonging). From Amy's sweat-soaked hill climbs to...

In this episode of "How to Blow Up Your Life," Sara Stansberry dives deep into the often misunderstood concept of forgiveness. She explains that true forgiveness is more about acceptance than relationship restoration - it's cutting the invisible string that ties you to pain and resentment.

Through a compelling client story, Sara illustrates how holding onto hurt actually makes us slaves to our past, preventing us from building the future we desire. As one of the top female life coaches in the space, Sara offers practical wisdom on how to recognize when forgiveness might be necessary in...

Get full access to How To Blow Up Your Life at sarastansberry.substack.com/subscribe

In this enlightening episode, Sara Stansberry interviews Dr. SG Gettman, a naturopathic doctor who specializes in treating chronic illness, burnout, and autoimmune conditions. They dive deep into the fascinating connection between unprocessed emotions and physical ailments. Dr. Gettman shares compelling research showing how emotional suppression increases inflammation markers in the body, while properly processing feelings actually lowers them.

The conversation explores what it truly means to metabolize emotions and why so many of us avoid doing it. Dr. Gettman shares a personal story about how her unresolved grief manifested as physical symptoms that didn't fully resolve until...

In this revealing episode, Sara Stansberry breaks down what codependency really is versus what most people think it is. Drawing from her 15+ years in codependency recovery, she explains that codependency isn't simply being financially dependent on a partner, but rather a trauma response rooted in childhood emotional neglect.

Sara clarifies that codependents are those who overextend themselves in relationships, taking on more than their fair share of responsibility to make the relationship work. This pattern stems from childhood wounds where the person learned to caretake their parents in hopes of eventually having their own emotional needs met.<...

In this heart-to-heart conversation, I chat with Shannon Yonge, an intuitive master life coach who specializes in helping women navigate midlife transitions. We dive into the concept of inner child work and how our early childhood experiences (ages 0-7) shape our adult relationships. Shannon explains that during those formative years, we develop strategies to belong and connect, which often continue to influence how we show up in relationships decades later. We discuss how reconnecting with your inner child can help you reclaim joy, heal relationship patterns, and live more authentically. Shannon offers practical suggestions for starting inner child work...

In this first episode of "How to Blow Up Your Life," I share my personal journey from being a seemingly perfect suburban wife and mother who was secretly struggling with emptiness and rage to discovering a path toward authentic living through what I call "creative destruction." I reveal my "garage door moment" – when a simple malfunction triggered an emotional breakdown that became my wake-up call. I openly discuss my battles with codependency, unaddressed childhood needs, unhealthy communication patterns, and various forms of numbing behaviors. I explain that "blowing up your life" isn't about destruction but about intentionally evaluating your be...

Ever catch yourself thinking: "This isn't how my life was supposed to turn out"?

You're doing everything "right." Being the good daughter. The supportive partner. The one who keeps the peace, holds it all together,

The one who makes sure everyone else is okay.

But something's off.

Maybe you're exhausted from walking on eggshells.

Tired of doubting yourself.

Sick of watching the same patterns play out (over and over) in every relationship.

Or maybe you've just hit that moment where you realize…I can’t do t...

This post is part of my Holiday SOS series where we learn how to better navigate tricky relationships, especially over the holidays, so we can better understand ourselves and others.

This week, I’m sharing my interview with Alexa Juanita Jordan, a fellow Substack writer and life coach, about ways to navigate holiday stress and cultivate a meaningful life.

Our discussion delves into the pressures and expectations we experience during the holiday season and how intentional living, self-worth, and setting boundaries are crucial during this time more than ever. Alexa shares her insights on...

I was on deadline. Five thousand words due, of which zero words were written.  So, naturally, I did the thing you do (or rather the thing I do) sometimes when under a daunting deadline. 

Procrastination is delaying or postponing a task despite knowing its importance and the potential consequences of not completing it. 

It’s a simple concept, but it feels so big, especially when you’re in its throes. 

How can this daunting invisible force bring us to our knees so quickly?  And with it, the unwelcome guests of guilt, shame, and self-doub...

In last week’s post, I considered the experience of experiencing multi-dimensional feelings (i.e., being nervous but confident, scared but excited), and I realized I wanted and needed to go a bit deeper on this topic. For you and for me. So this week, I sat down with my stagemate and friend, Stacy Smith Rogers, for a conversation on feeling our feelings, and what happens sometimes when you try something new.

Do you ever get all the feels? You know, where you have many different emotions all at once? When my daughter was young (I hope you had a fabulous Mother’s Day yesterday), she used to say she was ‘nercited,’ a combination of nervousness and excitement. It was super cute and also very wise.

This week, I’ve pondered the topics of authenticity and the importance of feeling your feelings. 

I wanted to show that you can be both confident and nervous. Both are possible at the same time. When you’re living in a grounded, au...

The staircase from the greenroom was too steep for my 4” heels, and I was a little wobbly—or maybe that was just my imagination.

You might have seen on social media that I repped Team 50s at the last Generation Women show. The event is—well—genius, really. Each month, the producers take a topic and ask someone from each generation to share a story from their life perspective on that topic. The show goes chronologically, starting with the 20s and working its way up. The last generation is 70+; this month, the 70+ was 81. Incredible. 

I didn’t kn...

I take Shasta for her afternoon walk.

A police car turns on our street, sirens blazing. Loud - Deafening. She jumps.

There is a couple with a baby in a stroller.

The woman's face lights up as she spots Shasta. She is so cute! she exclaims, her voice filled with genuine affection.

She’s very elegant, the man agrees. The baby is silent.

A group is taking a selfie—or attempting to take a selfie. There are five of them, faces smiling, reluctant to leave each other or whatever it i...

It’s 1:00 am, and I never stay up until 1:00 am.

I’ve started this new thing, and the tasks are adding up.

I had issues with my computer this week—the ‘L' and' P’ keys stick intermittently, and I eat and drink too much while working - honestly, it was getting gross. On a whim, I got a new one, and there’s been a learning curve, so I’m behind on said tasks. Tonight, I chose to ‘do’ something instead of just lying there thinking about it. And here we are…

If you’re reading this...

I don’t like ramen. I’ve never liked ramen. 

Is it soup? Because you only eat soup when you’re sick. Is it noodles? Because noodles are pasta and pasta is for spaghetti, you eat it with a fork. Plus, it raises blood sugar too quickly and messes with the glycemic index. I’m not sick, nor do I want diabetes, so I don’t like ramen. 

It was a decision I made decades ago.

Was I being rigid about this whole ramen thing? 

Rigidity is a protective mechanism we use to help u...

How often do we allow our expectations to determine how we feel? How often are those expectations living outside of us, in a place we have no control over? 

Those wrestling with or recovering from codependent behaviors tend to look outside of themselves for their happiness.

So, how does one create their own safety and better manage expectations? 

I’m glad you asked! 

A Simple Strategy for you...

I’m presenting at the next Generation Women event (April 30), representing Team 50s. I’m excited  - and nervous and all the things. This is new to me.

How is this my life?

Almost a decade ago, I asked myself the same question, but back then, I asked out of disbelief instead of astonishment.

Then I deconstructed my life, and learned to live authentically...