Results Will Vary

20 Episodes
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By: Russell Bates

A Good, Bad and Ugly Advice PodcastLife's diverse problems require diverse solutions, so advice wunderkind Russell Bates and his rotating cohort of guest advisors strive to give listener submitted questions the options for any problem. Why limit yourself to the sensible, sincere and "smart" advice we give? Why be suffocated by the idiotically futile recommendations we provide? And why suppress the thoughts of the deepest, darkest, and dustiest corners of our brains? Why choose one of these when you can have ALL of them? So take what you can as we give you The Good, Bad and Ugly advice you...

Time Traveler Advice w/ The Odd Hour (Season 1 Finale!)
Today at 11:00 AM

Odd Hour Podcast joins RWV in a more metaphysical sense than others in the season 1 finale! Gonna take some time to focus on myself so I can come back and give a product better then ever. Im super proud of what's been created here and know that this has potential to be a big part of my life. Thank you to The Odd Hour for being one of my biggest supporters and letting me on your show! Other than that THANK YOU SO MUCH! Knowing me, I know we will be back. Love you, Bye!


Private Investigators Stakeout For Advice w/ Maddy Lanning & Sara Dirks
#19
10/08/2025

Don't have the will to right a funny bio! Trust me this is a funny one but I know no one is here so It was fun for us. If you do listen, know that you mean a lot to me and help me keep moving on. It's been a rough time and this always brings a smile to my soul, as much as I neglect it sometime. All of the guests have also taken to the show in a way that warms my heart every time. This will still be in my life, but it's probably going down...


Evil D&D Monsters Give Advice On Dungeon Life w/ Aadil Patel & Nikoli Hovorka
#18
09/10/2025

Russell here! Thanks for your patience last week when I wasn't able to get out a show :( I was very overwhelmed with work, school and life in general that this needed to go on the back burner. I hope to make it up this winter though so be prepared :)

In promotion of Mordalax's Evil Lair, where you too can meet a fiery end trying to defeat a dungeon! Resident crypt keepers Ginger Pelletsnifer, Corviox The Sun Eater and Emmok The Beguiling Portsmith host the pod! They talk about what it takes to run Mordalax's lair, get into...


Saltwater's Beach Bum Dive Head First Into Advice w/Yzzy Zarate & Rae Smith
#17
08/13/2025

Hey! Still stuck in the closet but hope to get out soon buuuut I had my friend at Saltwater beach record some advice for me! They talk how it is best to be a beach bum, what they do to keep cool and try to find out why so many people need to be rescued from drowning? Hmmmmmm..... Listen to yourself to find out!

Check out other episodes and like and comment them like I know you did this one! Right? You liked and rated this episode correct cause if you didn't I will cry. If you...


Rat Advice Panel w/Manu Padma & Heather Marie Vitale
#16
08/06/2025

Hey everyone Russell here! I can't get out an episode this week because I have been stuck in the closet. I wanted still to get something out to you guys so I enlisted some of my rat friends, Lenny Catchatoli, Sam Rathaniel and Jeremy from THE Rat Hole to come and give some advice to their fellow rats. They eat plenty of grease pies, talk on humans, fall in love with cats and maybe spill a few of their secret and try to cover them with cheese. I really enjoy what they put out and I hope you do...


RWV Ep 15 - Salmonella Slices W/ Trey Rotert & Cole Elbel
#15
07/16/2025

A generous sprinkling of ashes on this one. Hope you enjoy!

Find Trey & Cole's improv team @lithium_improv on Insta. It was very cool to meet both of them, hear their stories and laugh along side them!

@Resultswillvarypod on Insta and send your question into resultswillvarypod@gmail.com. Super duper appreciative of you listening to my little show and giving it a shot. Like I said last time, I'm getting slammed by life right now but I'm still continuing the show cause I love what it's given me. I'm thinking of changing up the format...


RWV Ep 14 - Beat Miami Heat Meat On A Neat Seat In Crete Type Sheet w/Natalie Galde & Jeff Quintana
#14
07/02/2025

First time guest Jeff Quintana (and Antonio Robinson) join our first ever returning guest Natalie Glade in getting super mad at me! We talk (or yell) about inflatable dino costume stabbings, putting the moves on some annoying birds and quite possibly the most chaotic and disheveled last question of RWV so far!

Find Natalie @Nattyhates Instagram to see her and her fellow Circuit Comedy friends shows! She is one of the sweetest people I have met and I always feel like she is looking out for me. I'm so Glade the Natalie Glade is our first returning...


RWV Ep.13 - Strike It All From The Record w/Fake Ass Podcast
#13
06/18/2025

(Lil Disclaimer : We joke on some sensitive topics in this one. It's no stupid hate speech, Joe Rogan Ass, straight guy stand up "comedian" based douchbag stuff, but I'd thought I'd mention for those who are a sensitive to certain jokes. We're 3 well meaning idiots giving dumb advice on an intentionally silly show. You're all the best!)

Brother Jay & Brother Ramon from Fake Ass Podcast are on to give some blue chipper goodie advice on this clean and dignified comedy podcast! We give advice on how to cat fish with sand implants, how to serve juice to...


RWV Ep.12 - Becoming The Clothes Monster w/ Olivia Rog & Dylan Schueler
#12
06/04/2025

Olivia Rog & Dylan Schuyler of Red Light School District and I talk about the ones that get away and how to chase them, particularly with you draped in various sweaters, belts and other garments in your closet. Hope you enjoy!

I was so delighted by Olivia and how she picked up on the show INSTANTLY. Humble, Intelligent and incessantly funny, you should cast her in your various things because she is worth it. Her Insta is @0liviossa (the first character is a zero) and you can keep an eye out for her website coming soon.

...


RWV Ep.11 - Woke Volleyball Buddha w/Dylan Morris & Ahaaz Khalid
#11
05/21/2025

Dylan Morris & Ahaaz Khalid of Red Light School District join me in giving advice on how to deal with doubt under the big game, What's the best railroad tracks to sleep on? and tell me in excruciating detail about Macho Man's death. Hope you enjoy!

Dylan could not miss a beat if it hit him in the face. so fast and so witty, his intelligence and cadence shines through his personality into his comedy. so cool to have his on and happy to see him grow! His insta is @Dylan_morris and if your looking for a...


RWV Ep.10 - Three Uncles, One Bed w/Rocco Meo & Conner Sno
#10
05/07/2025

TEN EPISODES! Thank you so much for coming along to this milestone and hope to see you at the next! In this episode we have Rocco Meo & Conner Sno give advice on how to deal with rejection? What National Parks are best for Rocco's Uncles to burn down? And how to get those smart kids to share some of their hemorrhoids? This one was fun so if you enjoyed it, spread the word! Leave some ratings and ask some questions! But first a foremost, enjoy!

Find Rocco @_roccomeo ton Insta and watch his Real Talk With Rocco...


RWV Ep.9 - FORE! w/Skylar Harts & Adam Cox
#9
04/23/2025

Skylar Harts & Adam Cox join me in giving advice to some higher end "listeners" with their love life, golf habits and fancy dress anxiety! Of course we aimed for Par, but one to many strokes and ended up giving triple bogey advice. Hope You Enjoy!

Skylar is wonderfully talented in all she does. Whether it be her writing, singing, acting or even golfing, she shines through with her creativity and compassion. Find her @Skylarharts on Insta as well as her sketch group @Keepgoingsketch. Im so lucky to have had her on the show!

Adam is...


RWV Ep.8 - Olympic Sanctioned Zoo Wrestling w/Trey Allwood & Peyton Baisden
#8
04/09/2025

Trey Allwood & Peyton Baisden join me in this clean cut, no funny business and good sportsmanship episode of RWV! Before having them help our three psycho listeners with their cosmic problems they're put up to the challenge in a very RWV fashion : Grappling with animals. This one is very silly so I hope you enjoy!

Trey & Peyton are two extremely bright and talented comedians who make up one half of the sketch group I Can Keep Going (@Keepgoingsketch on IG). Trey is sharp as a tack, quick to the gun and witty with no bounds, it was...


RWV Ep.7 - Bro Ice Your Girles In The Basement w/Kae Hartman & Kristin Schultes
#7
03/26/2025

Kae Hartman & Kristin Schultes join me in advising a spring breaker in quite a predicament. We talk flavored Oxygen bars, multi level marketing air piracy and how Kae & Kristin are apparently long lost Alaskan sisters and leaving me out to dry! Hope you enjoy!

Find Kae on Insta @sorceresssupreme. Any time we speak she with our fail make me smile or laugh because she is on of the most bubbly and energetic people you'll meet. So happy to have her on the show.

Find Kristin on Insta @Kristinactually. Kristin is a wonderful friend who kindness...


RWV Ep.6 - This One's For Us w/Tyler Bates & Chris Parsons
#6
03/12/2025

Dear Future Tyler, Russell & Chris...

I wanted to have you two on the pod because you're some of my favorite people ever. At time of recording this we're all in pivotal stages of our life. Tyler is fresh out of college and is throwing hammer at MSU (Go Grizzlies), Chris his making away in this world raising his awesome daughter with his awesome wife, and I've just started this thing, not really knowing what it is unless I do it. I've been going through a lot recently and had a bad panic attack recording, but knew how...


RWV Ep.5 - Two 20 Year Old Men Lecture Mother About Giving Birth w/Natalie Galde & Alec McKay
#5
02/26/2025

Natalie Glade & Alec McKay join me on a whiplash of honestly good insights into what we value in life and how to seize control to your humanity in an ever nullifying world then ending in how to assemble a cake within the womb of a pregnant lady. Make sure to taste the salt before you take it.

@Resultswillvarypod on Insta is where you can find all the updates for the show along with all the links to our Spotify, Apple Pods and YouTube etc. If you have a comment, suggestion or want a question to be read...


RWV Ep.4 - The Peacockining w/Heather Marie Vitale & Bobby Cohoat
#4
02/12/2025

Love is in the air and its getting hard to breath! In this special Valentines Edition of Results Will Vary, unqualified Love Gurus, Heather Marie Vitale & Bobby Cohoat join me to give relationship advice to our loveless listener while developing an unhealthily obsession to peacocks! Hope you enjoy!

@Resultswillvarypod on Insta is where you can find all the updates for the show along with all the links to our Spotify, Apple Pods and YouTube etc. If you have a comment, suggestion or want a question to be read on the show you can email Resultswillvarypod@gmail.com.<...


RWV Ep.3 - Nebraskan Capital w/Rachel Berkey & Sawyer Wade
#3
01/29/2025

Join us as Russell and his Co-Advisors, Rachel and Sawyer, take a trip around the Union as they laugh at papel dominancy and the concept of bald people! All while waiting for International Dark Chocolate Day to strike! Hope you enjoy!

Find us @resultswillvarypod on Insta where you can find all the RWV Updates. If you have any comments, suggestions or even questions to be read on the show, Email Resultswillvarypod@gmail.com

Thanks to @therealrachelb for being on. Rachel is such a vibrant and bubbly person and to have her on was such as...


RWV Ep.2 - Pillowside Bananas w/Aadill Patel & Josh Katz
#2
01/15/2025

Russell and his co-council, Aadill Patel & Josh Katz, get deep into character as utter buffoons giving you advice. Whether it be warming your apartment by fracking for oil, getting off caffeine by fighting raccoons or being a better DnD player by BECOMING the DnD, we know that Stanislavski would be proud. Hope You Enjoy!

Thank You to @theaadilpatel on Insta! He's one of the nicest and funniest people I've met.

And Thank You to @jkatz on Insta! TBH he's not gonna follow back but my god he is a funny dude that I'm so lucky...


RWV Ep.1 - Threaten To Marry Your Boss w/Manu Padma & Frank Floski
#1
01/01/2025

In the inaugural episode of Results Will Vary, I, Russell Bates, and the first guest advisors Manu Padma and Frank Floski look to bring their best, worst and most backward crazy advice to our listeners! (Who are totally real people and not my deeply sown insecurities I don't know how to ask help for). We tackle how to lose weight with DIY liposuction or maybe just eating better. How to quit your job by fleeing to Mexico and how gas light your loud upstairs neighbor into thinking they've died!

You can email your question's to resultswillvarypod@gmail...