When Depression is in your bed

Are you caught up just going through the motions each day? Stuck in a cycle that doesn't feel terrible but certainly doesn't feel good either? That familiar static place can become surprisingly comfortable, even as it drains our sense of aliveness and meaning.

Today we explore how to break free using what I call the "Take-a-Step Approach" – a gentle, biology-based method that works with your nervous system instead of against it. Instead of forcing massive change through willpower (which rarely works), we focus on accessible micro-steps involving your senses, movement, rest, and playfulness that create sustainable shifts to...

Feeling stuck in a numbed-out state, just going through the motions day after day? Longing for something more but unsure how to find your way forward? This deeply compassionate exploration offers concrete, accessible steps that can help you to begin moving out of a mild, moderate or even severe depression.

Through understanding how our nervous systems become trapped in what experts call the "dorsal vagal state"—that shutdown, collapsed experience of depression—we gain insight into why recovery often happens more slowly than we'd like. The good news is that there are gentle, manageable actions anyone can take...

Depression creates a profound disconnect in relationships that can feel impossible to bridge. The path from where you are to where you want to be might seem unclear or overwhelming—but what if crossing that distance requires just one step at a time?

In this illuminating episode, I share the invitation that concludes each of my podcasts—an invitation many listeners may miss but that contains the most transformative message for anyone impacted by depression. By understanding how our nervous systems function during depression, we can break free from the harmful "just try harder" mentality that keeps us s...

Have you ever noticed that your attempts to help your partner through depression, work stress, or life challenges often backfire? There's a reason your well-intentioned support sometimes lands as criticism or pressure—and it has everything to do with your nervous system.

Drawing from both professional expertise and twenty years in a relationship with a partner who experienced depression, Trish Sanders reveals the hidden dynamic that transforms our genuine desire to help into something that actually increases disconnection. That urgent need to fix your partner's problems isn't just about compassion—it's often your own nervous system in surv...

Faced with the crucial question of whether to stay in or leave a relationship? Your body holds wisdom your mind can't access. This episode completes a seven-part journey through conscious relationship decision-making with arguably the most powerful question: What does your nervous system tell you when contemplating staying versus leaving?

Many of us live disconnected from our bodies, missing crucial guidance hidden within our physical responses. Even those drawn to somatic practices may struggle to maintain this connection. Drawing from personal experience, I share how tuning into my body revolutionized my understanding of my relationship needs. When...

What happens when your relationship requires so much of you that there's nothing left for yourself? For two decades of my marriage, I poured everything into caring for my depressed partner, losing myself in the process. But a profound shift occurred when I finally asked: "Can I deeply love and care for myself and continue in this relationship?"

This question emerged during a perfect storm in my life—turning 40, my father's illness and death, pandemic isolation, and the mounting responsibilities of motherhood and my therapy practice. I reached a breaking point where I realized that unless I fu...

Are you caught in relationship limbo, seeing all the problems but unsure if you really want to leave? The very focus on what's wrong might be precisely what's keeping you stuck. 

When we're in pain, we develop what I call "stubbed toe syndrome" – one part hurts so badly that we forget the rest feels fine. Similarly, in troubled relationships, especially those affected by depression, we become fixated on problems while neglecting the perfectly good connecting parts that still exist.

In this illuminating episode, I continue exploring my seven-question framework for making conscious relationship decisions by del...

Why do we stay in relationships that don't fulfill us? What invisible forces bind us to partners even when our conscious mind desires change? The answer lies beneath the surface of awareness, in the powerful realm of unconscious attachment patterns formed decades ago.

This deep-dive exploration uncovers the second question in my seven-question framework for making conscious relationship decisions: understanding the unconscious factors keeping you tethered to your current partnership. Drawing from Imago Relationship Theory, I explain how our earliest experiences with caregivers create an internal "image" of what love should look and feel like—and how th...

Have you been thinking about ending your relationship but something keeps holding you back? You're not alone. This raw and thoughtful exploration unpacks the invisible barriers that keep us stuck in relationships we're contemplating leaving.

Drawing from 20 years of personal experience in a relationship complicated by depression, I walk through the first of my seven-question framework designed to clarify relationship decisions. By examining the real obstacles that prevent us from moving forward, we can transform seemingly impenetrable walls into challenges we can address with compassion and strategy.

Financial fears often loom largest when contemplating separation...

What if those recurring thoughts about leaving your relationship aren't actually telling you to leave, but instead signaling something deeper happening in your nervous system?

In this vulnerable exploration of relationship indecision, I share my own experience of contemplating divorce "more times than I could count" over twenty years of being in a relationship affected by depression. Through this journey, I've discovered that thoughts of leaving often serve as safety signals when we're feeling trapped or powerless—not necessarily indicators that ending the relationship is what we truly want or need.

Drawing on polyvagal theory an...

Caught in the mental tug-of-war between staying in your relationship or finally walking away? When depression complicates an already difficult decision, finding clarity can feel impossible. Drawing from both professional expertise as an Imago Relationship Therapist and deeply personal experience navigating a 20-year relationship affected by depression, Trish Sanders offers a transformative framework for making conscious relationship choices.

This episode introduces seven powerful questions designed to help you move beyond indecision and into clarity. You'll discover how to identify the obstacles keeping you stuck, recognize unconscious patterns from your past that might be influencing your choices, and...

When I met Ben on Match.com, it was the early 2000s and online dating still carried warnings about meeting axe murderers. Both lonely in New York City, we connected over coffee that turned into a nine-hour adventure across the city. That meeting launched what I fondly call our "Summer of Love" – those magical first months where we experienced what Imago Relationship Therapists call "joyful aliveness."  The phase of Romantic Love in which we felt completely seen, valued, and understood by each other.

But when Ben started a high-stress tech job, our dynamic shifted dramatically overnight. The per...

Are you exhausted by how much effort you've put in trying to figure out how to help yourself or your partner move out of depression?  Are you sick of the struggle?  Are you longing to finally figure out this seemingly impossible puzzle??  Look no further, the missing piece that will help your whole picture come together is here!  This episode invites you into the transformative world of Polyvagal Theory, a concept that reveals the intricate ties between your nervous system and mental health. By unpacking the dynamics behind emotional regulation, listeners will discover how our biological make-up affects our inte...

Talking about depression can often lead to what feels like a dead-end, a place in which we understand that someone feels bad, but not necessarily what can be done to help.  This may lead to feelings of isolation, frustration, hopelessness and more.  But what can be possible if we reframe the conversation and increase awareness of what is truly happening in the experience of depression?  Join host, Trish Sanders, as she navigates the profound connection between depression and our nervous system. In this episode, she delves into polyvagal theory—a groundbreaking framework that reveals how our emotional responses are roote...

Imagine feeling disconnected from everything and everyone around you, even yourself. This episode, hosted by Trish Sanders, embarks on a journey to unravel the complexities of depression by examining how it manifests beyond clinical labels, through personal insights and professional perspectives. You'll gain an understanding of depression's many faces—how it can arise from life events like loss or transitions, and how it might not always fit neatly into a diagnostic box. By exploring these intricacies, we hope to shine a light on strategies that can aid in healing and foster a sense of well-being.

Trish challenges co...

In this second part of "What to Expect," the focus is on how to use this podcast in a way that increases the chances of the listener successfully applying the information obtained into their own relationship and life.  The host, Trish Sanders, aims to empower the listen to tap into their inner knowing so they may be attuned to what they truly need on their healing journey.  There is no need to travel a healing journey all alone, but the best person to lead the listener's journey is the listener!

Be sure to check out last week's ep...

This episode is packed with a variety of information to help build a supportive foundation on which to do meaningful, successful relationship work.  This is the first of a two part series, "What to Expect".  The host, Trish Sanders, is aware that people who tune in to When Depression is in Your Bed may bring expectations (consciously or not) for her, the podcast, themselves or their partner.  Addressing these expectations, both ones that are realistic and those that may be unrealistic, is extremely helpful in supporting a listener to use the information provided through the podcast in a conscious way...

In this first episode, the host, Trish Sanders, shares how though she has lived with depression for most of her life, she has also managed to hold hope, which has led to many learnings about how to live a more joyful life.  Wanting to share these learnings and perspectives led her to create the When Depression is in Your Bed Podcast.  Trish explains that how after decades of experiencing persistent depression, she declared, "Struggle is so last year!"  Trish touches on how she has found ways to heal and grow that have allowed her to consistently experience more joy and...

Welcome to the When Depression is in your bed Podcast!  Please listen to the trailer to find out what to expect when we launch our first full episode on January 29, 2025.  Enjoy!

- If you are looking to take the first step towards improving your connection and communication with your partner, check out this FREE monthly webinar on "Becoming a Conscious Couple,".

- If you and your partner are ready to co-create the roadmap to the relationship of your dreams, join us for the next in-person "Getting the Love You Want" Weekend Couples Retreat!

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