All About Nothing With Ruth Cohn

I shamefully realized after recording the video, that it is summer in the Northern Hemisphere, but not everywhere! My one-person psychology at work: the whole world is me! Oy vey. In the Southern Hemisphere it will be getting colder and darker, but nonetheless, a good time to curl up with a good book.

In this episode, I recommend three recent to me, really good reads, that broaden our focus on trauma and neglect to encompass more reminders, and are also relevant to recovery, as well as inspiration. Attachment and loss are important parts of each, that they...

Do you ever despair when once again revisited by old ghosts? When parts of you that you thought you had worked through long ago, rear up again, as powerfully as ever?

Although I hate and avoid the word "triggering," it can in fact feel like being shot again, by an age old "enemy."

Does it make you wonder "what is wrong with me?" Or, is all this therapy "not working?"

Well, even those of us who have worked on our trauma for years and decades (or what seems like millennia!) have these episodes.<...

In his masterwork, The Archaeology of Mind, neuroscience luminary, researcher and animal lover Jaak Panksepp wrote that a brief interlude of tickling of his lab rats, and a single bout of rat "laughter", activated a neurochemical and affective change in the little creatures, and even sprouted new neurons in their little hippocampi! And as we know, their brains are a lot like ours.

In this video, we make a brief visit to the world of play, so elusive or missing in the world of neglect, and discover that there is actually even a brain region designed by...

In this episode we discuss the neglected topic of aging: the aging body, the aging brain, sexuality as we age.

Another of those seemingly taboo subjects that it seems there is no one to ask, or no one reliable, and one might be too shame or afraid to tell. Perhaps you can be slightly more aware of what to expect, and what is quite normal and expectable than I was!

In Episode 12 I invite you to join me in talking about sex, a topic so important to so many, and all too often neglected and unaddressed.

On one hand we are constantly titillated and teased by it, yet most of us live with a poverty of real and reliable information.

We are only scratching the surface of what I hope will become a long conversation! I invite you to become fluent and forthcoming conduits of that missing information, as well as taboo busting. We also review what constitutes "healthy" sexual relating.

Can we...

As we see our parents age, many of us are seized with a nameless clash of often intense emotions, especially if we have traumatic memories of these parents from childhood, or mixed feelings about them at best. And especially if, as what is so often the case, our parents have their own tragic trauma stories.

I have come to call this confusing and often overwhelming cacophony The Bermuda Triangle: a mish-mash feeling of shipwreck, mystery and invisible or vanishing wreckage or remains.

We revisit the Bermuda Triangle in this week's video. Perhaps it will speak...

In this episode we diverge a bit from the more somber topics of trauma and neglect, to celebrate International Women's Month and specifically women's sexual health, with an emphasis on women's sexual pleasure! Enjoy!

Andy Marra, a Korean American trans adoptee told the moving story of searching for and traveling to Korea to meet her biological mother. Uncertain about how she will be received, and terrified about the complicated decision to come out to her mother, who thought she had given up a male child, she is terrified. It is a story of attachment, loss, repair and love.

Recently, I was introduced to a new-to-me clinical term: "Climate Anxiety."

It is a mix of overwhelm, fear, anxiety, and hopeless despair about what is, at least for most of us, the undeniably dire state of our planet – riddled with almost daily frightening news of fires, floods, earthquakes, and volcanic activity.

In this week's video we revisit the power of connection as a way to combat desolation and sense of defeat, or any pull toward resignation or paralysis. As ever with trauma, neglect and with every kind of healing, engagement and relationship provide our most po...

Today we explore the crucial subject of interpersonal need, and the immeasurable value of social support.

It is perhaps the most salient and profound of missing experiences in neglect trauma, and one of the most difficult and wonderful aspects of recovery to learn and heal. I have of course been powerfully reminded of this as I navigate this foray through my thankfully temporary disability.

And gratefully, with all the treasured help and support I am getting better and better!

Before I started studying trauma and neglect, I associated the word regulation with rules and laws. Now it means so much more. And this word may be confusing because at least to me, it has two related but quite distinct meanings:

One meaning corresponds to arousal, or nervous system activation, sometimes also referred to as affect regulation, to use the language of Allan Schore, my first teacher about it.

The second meaning is about relationship regulation, or in other words one of my favorite topics: rupture and repair. Both tend to be sorely absent when...

This episode of All About Nothing is a visit into a chapter of my past. We touch on the intergenerational transmission of trauma, and how my internalization of my father's trauma became a drive to prove my "worthiness" through martyrdom; a look at the island of Cuba as an icon of self-reliance, much like our quintessential child of neglect; and a reflection on how unsafety can keep us stuck in ways that may sustain harm and isolation.

Thanks for joining us.

All Best Wishes of the Season, and a fervent hope for peace in this...

What do you get when you cross a person hyper-focused on the feelings, needs and reactions of the other, with a person completely isolated and alone and in their own solitary world?

"A one-person psychology."

In this episode we explore this often misunderstood characteristic of many a survivor of childhood neglect.

Welcome to episode 3 of All About Nothing, our bi-weekly podcast series. Today, amidst storms of feeling on the heels of the recent US presidential election, we anticipate the upcoming national holiday of Thanksgiving, by visiting the complex world of giving, receiving, and gratitude, all fraught for the child of neglect.

Thank you all for joining me in contemplating difficult topics, and changing my world.

When I began studying neglect and looking for patterns to recognize it, one of the first that jumped out at me, is what I came to call “the Three P’s of Neglect.” They are: passivity, procrastination and paralysis. The three P's became a “dead giveaway” in recognizing a child of neglect.

The child of neglect has a very difficult time initiating, following through and completing tasks, especially in the interpersonal. Often they (or impatient parents, partners or others) interpret these attentional type issues as “the problem,” when they can point to “nothing” else. We touch on these topics in th...

In this episode we will explore the complex subject of forgiveness, inspired by the Yom Kippur holiday and also by the many feelings stirred in me by tragic testimonials from both sides that I heard seemingly endlessly on October 7th. So much unbearable trauma. How do people move on?

My experience of forgiving my father was one of the most profound experiences of my life, and I also know that forgiveness is not for everyone or every kind of injury. Not everyone is forgivable, or worthy/safe to forgive.

Self-forgiveness however is imperative, and is...