Neurodivergent Strategies for Late-Diagnosed Adults: Find Your Divergent Path

Many people think perfectionism is about ambition or high standards. But for people with anxious attachment, perfectionism can be something else entirely: a strategy for protecting connection.

In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D., explores the powerful link between anxious attachment and perfectionism, especially for late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults. When your nervous system is constantly scanning for signs of disconnection, getting everything “right” can start to feel like the safest way to keep relationships stable.

Dr. Regina shares personal stories about how anxious attachment can show up as over-performing, self-monitoring, and trying to p...

Do you crave connection but panic when you feel vulnerable?

In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D., and Russ unpack fearful avoidant attachment (also called disorganized attachment) through the lens of late-diagnosed neurodivergence. If your inner world feels like a constant push-pull between “Don’t leave me” and “Don’t get too close,” this conversation will feel familiar.

Fearful avoidant attachment combines the fear of abandonment seen in anxious attachment with the fear of intimacy common in avoidant attachment. For neurodivergent adults, especially those diagnosed later in life, this pattern can intensify du...

Many late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults carry a quiet, persistent fear: What if I’m too much?

In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina PhD explores why that fear shows up so strongly for folks with ADHD in their relationships. Emotional intensity, rejection sensitivity, and years of masking can create a painful pattern of overthinking, apologizing, and shrinking after moments of intense expression.

Instead of rehashing social scripts, this episode zooms out to examine the nervous system roots of the “too much” story and why it’s often less about personality and more about protection.

You’ll...

Have you ever sent someone a meme, a song, or a random TikTok… and then immediately spiraled when they didn’t respond?

If you’re neurodivergent, those tiny “this made me think of you” moments aren’t random. They’re emotional bids for connection.

In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D. explores why ADHD brains are wired for micro-connections and why something as small as an unread message can activate rejection sensitivity, anxious attachment, or demand avoidance.

You’ll learn:

Ever been in a relationship that feels intense because one of you pulls away and the other feels compelled to move closer? Same, boo, same. In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D. breaks down the anxious–avoidant cycle through a neurodivergent lens, explaining why this dynamic can feel especially destabilizing for autistic, ADHD, and late-diagnosed adults.

You’ll learn why avoidant withdrawal isn’t a lack of care, why anxious pursuit isn’t “too much,” and how sensory overload, emotional dysregulation, masking fatigue, and rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) can supercharge this cycle. Instead of blaming c...

What if pulling away after connection isn’t so much about emotional unavailability but nervous system protection?

In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D. unpacks avoidant attachment styles through a neurodivergent lens, exploring why closeness can trigger overwhelm instead of comfort for people with ADHD and autism, especially those who were late diagnosed.

You’ll learn how avoidant attachment develops as a survival strategy rooted in independence, how masking and delayed emotional processing intensify the need for space, and why neurodivergent adults often experience a “being seen overload” after moments of vulnerab...

When you have an anxious attachment style, friendships can feel uniquely destabilizing, especially if you’re neurodivergent. A delayed text, a shift in tone, or a little extra space can send your nervous system into overdrive, even when nothing is actually wrong.

In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D. explores how anxious attachment shows up in neurodivergent friendships, not just romantic relationships. She breaks down why friendships often feel more ambiguous and triggering, how ADHD hyperfocus can turn one person into a primary regulation anchor, and why that dynamic creates so much pressure fo...

Having an anxious attachment isn’t about being “needy” or insecure. It’s about what happens when a nervous system learns that connection isn’t always predictable or safe.

For many late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults, that lesson was reinforced for decades without ever being named. In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D., unpacks anxious attachment as it shows up in late-diagnosed ADHD and autistic adults.

She explores why anxious attachment isn’t a personality flaw, but a nervous system pattern shaped by inconsistency, masking, and years of subtle rejection. You’ll hear how ADHD patte...

There’s a lot of pressure to “push through,” be resilient, and just do the hard things especially for late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults. But what happens when pushing past your limits quietly starts to damage your nervous system, your relationships, and your mental health?

In this episode of the Divergent Paths Podcast, Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD, unpacks what overcapacity really looks like and why grit is often the wrong answer. Using a very real story about bringing home a puppy, Regina explores the difference between capability and capacity, how nervous system dysregulation shows up when expectations exceed regulation, and wh...

The holidays demand more—more socializing, more masking, more expectations, more emotional labor. And for neurodivergent people, that pressure often leads to a very specific kind of burnout that doesn’t magically disappear on January 1st.

In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D. explores holiday burnout through a neurodivergent lens, unpacking why the season is so depleting and why traditional “rest over the break” or New Year’s resolution culture completely misses the point.

Joined by Russ Catanach, Regina breaks down how extended holiday demands dysregulate the nervous system, why burnout is more th...

Why do so many capable, resilient people struggle to care for themselves?

In this solo episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D. reframes self-neglect not as a personal failure, but as a learned survival strategy, especially for late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults who spent years masking, adapting, and pushing through. From skipping meals and ignoring pain to treating rest as something that must be earned, self-neglect often looks “functional” on the outside while quietly draining your nervous system.

Regina explores why high-capacity, over-functioning people learn to ignore their needs, how burnout and chronic dysregulation sneak in...

Do you replay conversations long after an event ends, analyzing what you said, what you should have said, and how everything might have been perceived? In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D. unpacks post-event rumination, a common experience for neurodivergent people, especially those with ADHD and autism.

Together with co-host Russ Catanach, Regina explains why the brain gets stuck in these mental loops after social or professional interactions—and why rumination isn’t a personal failing, but a nervous-system response shaped by masking, rejection sensitivity, and unmet needs for safety and closure. You’ll lea...

If you’ve spent your whole life being “the capable one”—the reliable friend, the problem-solver at work, the emotional anchor for everyone else—you’re not alone. Many late-diagnosed ADHD and autistic adults are quietly carrying this role, often without ever choosing it. And the cost? Chronic burnout, emotional exhaustion, resentment, and a complete disconnect from your own needs.

In this episode, Dr. Regina unpacks why neurodivergent women so often become “the capable one,” how masking and people-pleasing feed the pattern, and revisits why capability is not the same as capacity. You’ll learn the signs of overfunctioning...

Neurodivergent folks are told constantly: “Just make it a habit.” But if that advice has ever activated your fight-or-flight response, you’re not alone. In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina and Russ break down why traditional habit culture simply wasn’t built for neurodivergent brains and why it’s not your fault that the habit trackers, streaks, and “21-day rules” never stick.

We dig into the real neuroscience behind dopamine inconsistency, interest-based nervous systems, and basal ganglia automation. The three core reasons ND folks struggle with building automatic routines. We also explore how demand avoidance and shame play...

People-pleasing, self-abandonment, and unmasking are deeply connected, especially for late-diagnosed neurodivergent folk. In this solo episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina breaks down how people-pleasing develops as a survival strategy, why it often leads to chronic self-abandonment, and what it really takes to unmask after years of shaping yourself around other people’s expectations.

You’ll learn:

Have you ever caught yourself saying, “I know I can do it… so why can’t I just make myself?” In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina and co-host Russ unpack the crucial difference between what you’re capable of doing and what you actually have the capacity to do.

From ADHD burnout to chronic overcommitment, we explore how late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults often confuse skill with bandwidth, pushing themselves past their limits because they’ve been praised for performance, not pacing.

Learn how to recognize when your energy, executive function, or emotional regulation are running low...

Have you ever found yourself repeating the same story three times in a row—even to the same person—just trying to get it right? You’re not being dramatic or forgetful. You’re doing a live edit and it’s a powerful, neurodivergent form of emotional processing.

In this solo episode of Neurodivergent Solutions, Dr. Regina McMenomy breaks down why late-diagnosed ADHDers and autistic folks often retell the same story multiple times in the same sitting. From revising word choice to decoding emotions, this repetition isn’t a flaw—it’s a form of self-regulation, sense-making, and emotional cl...

Ever find yourself still furious about a group project from 25 years ago? You might be dealing with justice sensitivity: that intense gut-level reaction when something feels unfair.

In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD—ADHD coach for late-diagnosed, nerdy neurodivergent women in higher ed and tech—is joined by co-host Russ Catanach to unpack why fairness feels so personal for so many neurodivergent adults.

They explore how justice sensitivity shows up alongside rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD), ADHD impulsivity, and autistic integrity, and how this deep moral drive can both empower and exhaust us...

Grief is never simple but for neurodivergent folks, it can feel like trying to swim through wet cement. In this deeply personal solo episode, Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD, shares her own experience of loss while exploring how grief collides with executive dysfunction, emotional numbness, and rejection sensitivity.

If you’ve ever struggled to make phone calls, fill out forms, or even feel your emotions after someone you love has died, this episode is for you. You’ll learn why grief scrambles our executive functioning, how alexithymia can make it hard to name what we’re feeling, and why gu...

You ever open your calendar and wonder who signed you up for all this—only to realize it was you?

In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD, and co-host Russ Catanach dive into the exhausting cycle of masking through overcommitment. It's a familiar pattern of saying yes to everything just to look capable, helpful, or “normal.” Together, they unpack why neurodivergent people often take on too much, how that habit drains energy, and what it really means to check your capacity instead of just your calendar.

Regina shares a personal story about agreei...

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If the sight of a form to fill out or bills you need to pay makes you want to crawl under a blanket, you’re not alone. In this episode of Neurodivergent Synthesis, Dr. Regina breaks down why paperwork — those endless forms, emails, and administrative tasks — can feel like an impossible boss fight for neurodivergent brains.

Paperwork doesn’t just require focus; it demands executive functioning, emotional regulation, and compliance with arbitrary rules — all while offering zero dopamine rewards. Add in Demand Avo...

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Unmasking isn’t about ignoring others or living without filters. It’s about finally showing up as your real self instead of a version built to keep everyone else comfortable. In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD, and co-host Russ bust the biggest misconceptions about neurodivergent unmasking.

They unpack three common myths:

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Perfectionism doesn’t always show up in spreadsheets and checklists. In this solo episode of Neurodivergent Solutions, Dr. Regina McMenomy Ph.D. explores how the drive to be perfectly understood shapes her writing, her identity, and her unmasking journey.

Drawing from her background as a poet and her late auDHD diagnosis, Regina shares how a deep love for words has always been both a gift and a trap. She breaks down how perfectionism in writing often comes from a need for cl...

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Why do neurodivergent brains often wait until the last minute to get things done? In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D. and co-host Russ Catanach unpack urgency bias: the tendency to focus only on what feels immediately urgent. From procrastination and crisis-mode productivity to burnout and emotional stress, we explore why urgency bias happens, how it can both help and harm, and practical strategies to work with it instead of against it. If you’ve ever found yourself saying, “I on...

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What happens after you unmask and suddenly realize you’re not sure who you really are? In this solo episode of Neurodivergent Solutions, Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D. explores the identity crisis that often follows late-diagnosed ADHD or autism, and why not knowing who you are without the mask is completely normal.

Regina shares why high-masking neurodivergent adults often lose touch with their preferences, emotions, and even their sense of self and what to do about it. With compassion, personal stories, an...

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In this special episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy Ph.D. and co-host Russ Catanach take you inside their live panel at Rose City Comic Con: “Neurospicy Brains, Found Family, and Fandom… Oh My!” Recorded in front of nearly 400 attendees, this conversation highlights how fandom communities — from cosplay to comics to gaming — provide belonging and resilience for late-diagnosed autistic and ADHD adults. Joined by panelists Rachel Ferdaszewski, Isabela Oliveira, and Rabbi Davina Bookbinder, the panel explores neurodivergent identity, perfectionism, masking, burnout, and the healin...

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Masking isn’t a lie—it’s a life skill. In this solo episode of Neurodivergent Solutions, Dr. Regina McMenomy unpacks why neurodivergent people learn to mask from such a young age and why it’s not a failure of authenticity but a tool for safety and belonging.

Drawing from her personal experience as a late-diagnosed ADHD adult and mother, Regina explores how masking develops in response to rejection sensitivity, social expectations, and survival instincts. She also discusses the complex reality of unint...

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Impulsivity isn’t just about skydiving on a whim or blowing your paycheck on shoes. For neurodivergent folks, it often shows up in subtle ways: cutting someone off mid-sentence, firing off a 2am text, or jumping to finish someone’s thought. In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy and co-host Russ Catanach delve into the neurological implications of impulsivity, examining how dopamine and executive function contribute to its manifestation, and why it’s not always a flaw. They share personal stories, pop cu...

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Unmasking as a neurodivergent adult isn’t about oversharing. It’s about finally showing up as your full self. In this solo episode of Neurodivergent Solutions, Dr. Regina McMenomy shares practical, compassionate unmasking strategies designed for late-diagnosed ADHD and autistic adults navigating work, relationships, and everyday life.

Learn how to recognize when you’re masking, stop performing to make other people comfortable and start honoring your real needs. From communication habits to self-accommodation, this episode offers small, actionable steps to help you un...

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Struggling to recognize when you’re hungry, tired, anxious—or even where your body is in space? You’re not alone. In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy and co-host Russ Catanach explore the often-overlooked sensory systems of interoception and proprioception—and why they’re especially important for neurodivergent folks.

We break down:

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Is masking a sign of maturity—or a survival strategy? In this solo episode of Neurodivergent Solutions, Dr. Regina McMenomy challenges the idea that “professionalism” means suppressing who you really are. She explores how masking shows up in the workplace for neurodivergent adults, why it’s often misread as emotional maturity, and how that misperception leads to burnout, disconnection, and self-doubt.

You’ll learn:

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Why do so many late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults feel like frauds—even when they’re thriving? In this episode of Divergent Paths, Regina McMenomy, Ph.D., unpacks the neuroscience behind imposter syndrome and explains why it hits harder for people with ADHD, autism, and other forms of neurodivergence.

With co-host Russ Catanach, Regina shares personal stories, expert insights, and practical strategies to help you recognize imposter syndrome for what it really is: a stress response shaped by masking, rejection sensitivity, and years of c...

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Rest isn’t a reward, it’s a requirement. In this solo episode of Neurodivergent Solutions, Dr. Regina McMenomy explores why rest is essential for neurodivergent bodies and brains, and why our cultural beliefs about laziness, productivity, and burnout often fail those of us with ADHD, autism, and other neurodivergences.

Regina shares personal stories and hard-won insights about redefining rest—not as a failure to hustle, but as a radical act of self-preservation and nervous system regulation. You’ll learn how masking...

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Struggling to manage your time, stay on schedule, or even feel the passing of time? You’re not alone. In this episode of Divergent Paths, host Dr. Regina McMenomy and co-host Russ Catanach unpack the neuroscience behind time blindness, a common experience for people with ADHD and autism.

We explore:

Whether you’re neurodivergent yourself or suppor...

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Why do so many neurodivergent adults resist going to bed even when they're exhausted? In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy and co-host Russ Catanach explore the psychology and neuroscience behind revenge bedtime procrastination, a common but misunderstood behavior where people delay sleep to reclaim autonomy and personal time.

This episode explores why neurodivergent brains often don’t "power down" like those of neurotypical individuals and what we can do about it. Learn how overstimulation, delayed melatonin release, and un...

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Is it emotional immaturity or the long-term impact of masking, trauma, and survival mode? In this heartfelt episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy explores how neurodivergent individuals often experience delayed or disrupted emotional development, not because they’re broken, but because they’ve been adapting to environments that never fully accepted them. Co-host Russ Catanach asks the big questions as Regina shares lived experiences, cultural insight, and unfiltered emotion, including tears on the mic for the first time. If you’ve ever felt b...

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What exactly is a special interest and why are they so essential to neurodivergent people? In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy breaks down how special interests go far beyond hobbies. From emotional regulation to identity formation, we explore the deep role these passions play for ADHD and autistic folks. Joined by co-host Russ Catanach, Regina shares personal stories, clinical insights, and cultural observations about how special interests fuel joy, soothe overwhelm, and sometimes become lifelines. Whether yours is dinosaurs, data...

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Do you ever feel emotionally overloaded without knowing why? Or find yourself mirroring someone else's mood without realizing it? You’re not alone—and you’re not broken. In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy and cohost Russ Catanach unpack two powerful but often misunderstood neurodivergent experiences: emotional contagion and alexithymia.

You’ll learn what these terms mean, how they often show up together, and why they’re so common among ADHD and autistic individuals. Regina explains how catching someone el...

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In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenemy and co-host Russ Catanach explore the all-too-relatable phenomena of DOOM piles and task saturation—when your physical and mental clutter team up to ambush your productivity and sanity. From unopened mail to emotional overload, this conversation blends humor, insight, and compassion for chaotic brains trying to survive modern life. If you've ever hidden a mess in a box just to make it "go away" or felt like your brain was made of oatmeal after a...

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Burnout isn’t just about being tired—it’s what happens when your nervous system is screaming for a better way to live. In this episode of Divergent Paths, host Dr. Regina McMenomy is joined by Russ Catanach for a deeply honest conversation about neurodivergent burnout. They unpack how masking, misaligned environments, and hyperfocus can quietly push us toward the edge and why recovery isn’t about powering through, but embracing rest as a radical act of survival.

Learn how Regina redefine...