Pastors in Recovery

Episode 68 - STEP SEVEN | Letting God Heal the Pastor, Not the Performer

Today we talk about the crash that almost every pastor knows but rarely admits—the moment after the sermon when the anointing fades, the adrenaline stops, and the real battle begins. You’ve prayed. You’ve preached. God has moved.

But when the house grows quiet… the worries return.
The pain you’ve carried comes back.
The temptations you thought were gone show up again.
And the enemy whispers, “You’re failing.” But you’re not.
You’re human.

BONUS EPISODE — “Tripping Over Myself”

In this bonus episode, Jon looks at the blind spots we all have — the places where we keep tripping over our own attitudes, reactions, and old patterns. Sometimes the biggest obstacle in the hallway isn’t the enemy… it’s us.

This episode features Jon’s new original song, “Tripping Over Myself” — a throughtful track about stumbling over our own blind spots and learning to let God show us what we’ve been defending. If you’ve ever reacted too quickly, defended something that didn’t matter, or discovered your biggest st...

Episode 67 - STEP SIX | Being Willing To Change + Original Song "No More Defending"

Step Six is where healing finally starts to take root. It’s the moment we stop defending our dysfunction and become willing for God to rewrite what we’ve been hiding. In this episode, Jon shares raw stories from his years of church planting—ministry burnout, pride, insecurity, financial pressure, and the addictions that surfaced when life got overwhelming. He also opens up about the deeper roots behind anger, shame, and the patterns that kept him stuck. 

Romans 12:2 calls us to be tran...

Episode 66 – STEP FIVE | Confessing, Not Preaching + Original Song “Hats”

In this powerful episode of Pastors in Recovery, Jon unpacks Step Five: Confessing, Not Preaching — learning to tell the truth instead of performing it. He shares honest reflections from his own ministry life — the “pastor hat,” the “church-planter hat,” and the moment he realized that the only hat that truly fits is the real-self hat. Through personal stories, relatable pastor examples, and the story of King Saul, Jon reminds us that fear of people leads to performance, but confession leads to freedom. 

This episode also feature...

Episode 65 — STEP FOUR | Taking Honest Inventory + Original Song “In Your Eyes"

In this episode of Pastors in Recovery, Jon Hammond walks through Step Four — Taking Honest Inventory. It’s the moment when pastors and ministry leaders stop performing and start allowing God to search beneath the surface.Through powerful stories and personal reflection, Jon shares how honesty replaces performance, how confession becomes a process, and how true freedom begins when we finally write the truth down and share it with someone we trust. 

This episode features Jon’s original Suno song, “In Your Eyes,” a...

Episode 64 — STEP THREE | Laying Down Control: Surrendering Ministry Outcomes and Personal Image + Original Song “Lay It Down Again”

In Step Three of The Twelve Steps for a Pastor in Recovery, Jon talks about one of the hardest steps in ministry — laying down control. For many pastors, surrender doesn’t mean giving up—it means giving God back what was already His. In this honest and personal episode, Jon shares real stories from his years in ministry, the struggle between vision and surrender, and the peace that came when he finally released control of outcomes, image, and expectations...

Episode 64 — STEP THREE | Laying Down Control: Surrendering Ministry Outcomes and Personal Image + Original Song “Lay It Down Again”

In Step Three of The Twelve Steps for a Pastor in Recovery, Jon talks about one of the hardest steps in ministry — laying down control. For many pastors, surrender doesn’t mean giving up—it means giving God back what was already His. In this honest and personal episode, Jon shares real stories from his years in ministry, the struggle between vision and surrender, and the peace that came when he finally released control of outcomes, image, and expectations...

Bonus: Praise That Changes Us | When Worship Opens Our Eyes

In this short devotional, Jon Hammond reflects on the power of praise—not as something God needs, but as something that transforms us.

When we praise, our eyes open to see God more clearly. Doubt shrinks. Faith rises.
And we discover that inviting His presence isn’t about summoning Him—it’s about awakening our own hearts to the reality that He’s already here.

Reflection Questions:What does it mean to invite God’s presence?Does He really ne...

Episode 63 — Letting God Be God Again (featuring “I Can’t Fix It, But He Can”

In Step Two, Jon opens his heart and shares the real struggle of trying to fix what only God can heal. Through honest stories—from ministry comparison to personal recovery, and even a life-and-death moment with his wife—this episode reminds us that surrender isn’t weakness; it’s worship.

Jon also debuts his new folk-rock revival song, “I Can’t Fix It, But He Can,” a heartfelt anthem about letting go and letting God be God again. 🎵

🙏 Step 2: We came to believe that a Po...

Episode 62 - STEP ONE | Facing the Mirror

In this first episode of our 12-Step Series for Pastors in Recovery, we begin with Step One: Facing the Mirror. Jon Hammond opens up about what it means to be honest before God — to stop pretending, stop performing, and start admitting what’s really going on inside.

As pastors and leaders, our closeness with God often mirrors the closeness of our relationships with those we love most. When that connection weakens, everything else follows. Jon shares a personal story about a barista who reminded him what...

Episode 61 — The Twelve Steps for a Pastor in Recovery (Overview) + Original Song “No More Fakin’ It”

Pastor, when did ministry become the place you hide your pain?

In this special kickoff episode, Jon introduces The Twelve Steps for a Pastor in Recovery — a simple, honest path from pretending to freedom.

You’ll hear how these twelve steps bring healing to those who lead others but struggle in silence.
This week’s bonus track, “No More Fakin’ It,” delivers a hopeful, early-2000s-style hip-hop rhythm that reminds every pastor: it’s time to stop pretend...

Episode 60 – Social Media: Perfect Feed

Social media can feel like a crazy animal for pastors. It makes everyone else’s life look perfect, while magnifying your insecurities. As pastors, we live in the tension of the pedestal—where ministry is always on display—and the reality of personal life, where things aren’t always picture perfect.

In this episode, Jon shares his own story of being deep into Facebook, the toll it took on his heart, and why he barely posts anymore. We’ll talk about the benefits of social media, the dangers of c...

Episode 59 - Food Feelings and Finding Balance

Food is one of the most socially acceptable ways pastors medicate their pain. Nobody questions you when you go back for another plate at the potluck, but for many of us, food has become the comfort we reach for instead of God. In this episode, I open up about my own story of gaining weight later in life, battling cravings for ice cream and baked goods, and struggling to keep consistent with exercise. We’ll talk about why food is such a powerful temptation, how stress and me...

Episode 58 - Criticism Without Crumbling

In this episode of Pastors in Recovery, I share what may be one of the most Spirit-stirring messages I’ve ever felt led to record. Criticism can sting, and for many of us, it sticks—echoing in our hearts for years. As pastors and people in recovery, it’s easy to let harsh words define us, but Christ calls us to something greater.

We’ll look at how Jesus Himself faced constant criticism without letting it derail His mission, how leaders today wrestle with the weight of public op...

Episode 57 – Shame - Part 2 - Shame, Sin, and the Way Out

In this continuation of our series on shame, Jon addresses one of the most difficult and secret struggles pastors face: masturbation. This episode explores:
Why masturbation often becomes a form of self-medication for anxiety, loneliness, or boredom.How dopamine, secrecy, and the cycle of shame entangle leaders and believers alike.Why this sin produces such deep shame — from breaking God’s design for intimacy, to grieving the Holy Spirit who dwells within us.Six example stories (pastor, missionary, teenager, husband, pastor’s wife, an...

Episode 56 – Shame - The Weight We Shouldn’t Carry

Shame is one of the heaviest burdens pastors and people in recovery carry. It whispers lies that we are our weakness, our mistakes, or our past. In this episode, Jon shares a very personal story about feeling shame while taking his medication — and how those feelings connect back to childhood wounds and moments of being belittled.

Through Scripture, reflection, and honest testimony, this episode reminds us that shame is not from God. Jesus not only carried our sin to the cross, but also our shame. You ar...

Episode 55 - Feeling Like A Victim (Part 3) - What Safe Leadership Looks Like

In this episode of Pastors in Recovery, Jon continues the trilogy on victimhood, spiritual abuse, and safe leadership.
Episode 53 explored the victim mentality—feeling like a victim when it’s not really abuse.Episode 54 addressed spiritual abuse—what it looks like and how it harms pastors and church members.And now, in Episode 55, Jon shares stories and reflections on safe leadership: how to recognize it, how to become it, and how to rebuild trust among God’s people.Jon recalls the influence of his y...

Episode 54 - Feeling Like a victim (Part 2) When you are experiencing Spiritual Abuse

Spiritual abuse is one of the deepest wounds a pastor or church member can carry—because it comes wrapped in the name of God. In this episode of Pastors in Recovery, Jon Hammond shares hard truths, survivor stories, statistics, and his own personal experience of being verbally and physically mistreated by a senior pastor. This is not about attacking organizations. Jon makes it clear—he has loved and served alongside many good people in ministries like Teen Challenge and the Assemblies of G...

Episode 53 – Feeling Like a Victim (Part 1) When It’s Not Abuse

Have you ever felt overlooked, passed over, or rejected — certain you were the right one for the opportunity, but someone else got it? In this episode of Pastors in Recovery, Jon Hammond shares four personal stories of moments he felt like a victim… only to realize later that God had a different race marked out for him.

From faking a fall in a junior high cross-country race to being passed over for ministry roles and church jobs, Jon explores what’s really going on inside...

Episode 52 - The Cycle of Pursuit

I didn’t mean to make a series… but God had other plans. This is part three of an unexpected journey that started on a beach in San Diego and led straight into the heart of striving, identity, and grace. 

In this episode, I open up about a powerful realization I’ve been working through in therapy—the fantasy of the “perfect girl.” From sitcoms like Love, American Style, Happy Days, The Wonder Years, and Family Ties, to my own childhood crushes on Marcia Brady and Mallory Keaton...

Episode 51 - When Passion Becomes Obsession - Discerning the Fire God Gave Us

In this episode of Pastors in Recovery, Jon Hammond shares a deeply personal story about chasing the dream of a finished backyard — and how even good desires can quietly become obsessions. Drawing from his own recovery and pastoral experience, Jon explores the difference between passion and obsession, what happens when our identity gets tied to getting things done, and how God invites us to rest, surrender, and rediscover that our worth isn’t in our work. With Scripture, reflection questions, and a vulnerable mome...

Episode 50 – The Cost of the Tower: What Would I Trade

In this milestone 50th episode of Pastors in Recovery, Jon reflects on a recent trip to San Diego with his daughter — and a surprising inner temptation he faced while standing by the ocean. Using this moment as a launching point, Jon unpacks what it means to count the cost of chasing dreams that may not be part of God’s current calling.

He shares fictional but all-too-real stories of pastors at crossroads, powerful scripture, and a personal framework he calls “You Can’...

Episode 49 - The Covering We Never Got—But Still Need

In this powerful and honest episode of Pastors in Recovery, Jon explores the deep theme of coverings—what it means to live under the shelter of God when you’ve grown up uncovered.

So many pastors and ministry leaders were never fathered themselves. Some grew up with abusive dads, emotionally absent parents, or no example of love at all. And now, as fathers and shepherds, they’re trying to lead others with wounds they’ve never been taught to heal.

Jon unpack...

Episode 48 - When You Feel Rejected - You Only Heal What You Reveal

Feeling rejected by your church, your mission field, or the people you’ve poured your heart into can leave deep wounds. In this episode of Pastors in Recovery, Jon shares stories, scriptures, and practical steps to help pastors and missionaries navigate the pain of rejection and discover hope, identity, and healing in Christ. We’ll explore what Christian therapists say about rejection, what Celebrate Recovery teaches about rejection in the 12 Steps and 8 Principles, and why “you only heal what you reveal.”

If you’r...

Episode 47 - Finding Freedom From Porn - Identifying Your Triggers - Those 2 AM Binges and Gods Plan for Victory

Are you a pastor struggling with porn, sexual temptation, 2 AM binges, or dry seasons in your marriage? You are not alone, and you are not disqualified. In this practical, and gospel-centered episode, Jon Hammond from Pastors in Recovery helps you walk toward freedom step by step.

We unpack:
✅ Why sexual temptation feels like your “favorite cake” and why ignoring it isn’t enough.
✅ What the Bible says about sexual sin—and Go...

Episode 46 - Legacy Over Ego - A Weekend with the Motodudes

In this episode of Pastors in Recovery, Jon Hammond reflects on a soul-refreshing weekend with his lifelong friends—Tom, Chuck, and Andy—(and Scott who could'nt make it) known collectively as the Moto Dudes.

What starts as a getaway to Lincoln City becomes a powerful look at shifting ambitions, family legacy, and the unshakable bonds of brotherhood. From walking the beach at dawn to rediscovering purpose through fatherhood, Jon shares how surrender, presence, and Scripture weave together in this season of life...

Episode 45 - Why Relationships Matter in Recovery

This episode is a real-time reflection on my trip to see my 95-year-old dad and reunite with four of my closest friends—brothers I’ve known for over 40 years. We're heading to the Oregon coast, sharing memories, taking our traditional photo, and putting each other on the “hot seat” to talk honestly about life, faith, and family.

If you’re a pastor, ministry leader, or in recovery—this one’s for you. We dive into the power of presence, why isolating is dangerous, and how friendship and family are two...

Episode 44 - Confessions of a Pastor Who Didn’t Think He Needed Recovery

In this vulnerable and powerful episode, Jon shares his personal journey as a pastor who once believed recovery was for everyone else—but not for him. Through raw reflection, biblical truth, and a beautiful piano analogy, this episode explores the three stages many pastors face: denial, impatience, and relapse. You’ll hear the challenge to humble yourself before the crash, the grace of discovering your “Middle C,” and the sobering reminder that even when you've done the work, you still need to pick up the too...

Episode 43 - Forgiven by God...But Not By Me

Even when we believe God has forgiven us, many of us still wrestle with guilt, shame, and the struggle to forgive ourselves.

In this powerful episode of Pastors in Recovery, Jon shares four real-life stories of pastors—including his own—who faced emotional, moral, or relational struggles that left deep scars. Through Scripture, personal reflection, and honesty, this episode invites you to experience the grace of God in a way that frees you from self-condemnation. 

Whether you're in ministry, recovery, or just human—you are...

Episode 42 - You Still Have a Voice – Honoring the Aging Shepherd

In this heartfelt episode, Jon Hammond speaks directly to elderly pastors who may feel forgotten, invisible, or unsure if their life’s work made a difference. Through personal reflection, a powerful story from the 1990s, and the example of Caleb in Joshua 14, this episode honors the aging shepherds of the faith.

It’s a reminder that even when the mic is gone and the memory fades, your life is still speaking. Whether you led thousands or ministered to a rural congregation of ten...

Episode 41 - When Hope Feels Gone — A Word to the Pastor Who’s Hurting

In this deeply personal episode of Pastors in Recovery, Jon shares the heartbreaking loss of a woman his wife once mentored—someone she had loved through the darkest seasons of depression, who tragically ended her life. This episode isn't about having the perfect answers—it's a call to the pastor who feels invisible, exhausted, and alone.

If you’ve lost your faith, your hope, or your will to keep going, this message is for you. Jon breaks down the truth in 1 Corin...

Beginning may 21, 2025, due to my own schedule changes, episodes will no longer be released by 12pm AZ time on Wednesdays but rather will be released at 2pm AZ time. 

We will see you in the next episode!

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/pastors-in-recovery--6262503/support.

 Connect with Jon and find hope for your own recovery journey:

🌐 www.pastorsinrecovery.com
📧 pastorsinrecovery@gmail.com
▶️ YouTube: youtube.com/@pastorsinrecovery
🎵 Also visit Jon’s music channel, youtube.com/@CrashingLyrics, to hear more songs featured in the podcast. Just go...

Episode 40 - Challenge to the Young Pastor - What They Didn’t Teach You in Bible College

In Episode 40 of Pastors in Recovery, Jon speaks directly to young pastors—those fresh out of Bible college, juggling part-time ministry and full-time doubts. With honesty and heart, he lays out five essentials for long-term ministry impact: humility, teachability, consistency, listening, and soul care. Through personal stories, biblical insight, and vulnerable reflections—including a powerful word on integrity and sexual purity—Jon reminds us why staying planted matters. 

If you've ever felt like walking away before seeing the fruit...

Episode 39 - Getting Out of God’s Way - When Our Pride Hijacks the Pulpit

I wasn’t planning on recording this episode. I almost pulled an old teaching from the archives. But during an open share group with another pastor, some deep reflection surfaced—and I knew I had to hit record. In this episode, I share two stories from my past as a pastor that forced me to ask hard questions about pride, performance, and control. One where I preached while sick, and another where I thought I was “on fire” from the pulpit...

Episode 38 - Prayer and Recovery: The Third Option

In this heartfelt episode of Pastors in Recovery, Jon gets real about something foundational to recovery but often overlooked—prayer. If we aren’t talking to God, we aren’t truly walking in recovery. Jon shares how prayer isn’t always easy, especially when life gets loud, distractions take over, or doubt creeps in.

Through raw honesty and personal stories—including a powerful moment in traffic and a breakthrough with his granddaughter Auri—Jon reminds us that even when we don’t feel like praying, God still draws ne...

Episode 37 - Raw Lessons the Road to London Taught Me (Part 2) - There is Joy Ahead

In this follow-up to last week’s raw and honest episode, Jon Hammond shares the next chapter of his journey—returning from London, Ontario, and facing the realities of pain, weakness, and spiritual fatigue. 

With transparency and grace, Jon opens up about his health struggles, the weight of shame and regret, and the flicker of joy that still remains deep in his soul. Drawing from Psalm 51 and 1 John 1:9, this episode is an encouragement for pastors and leaders to stop...

Episode 36 - Raw Lessons the Road to London Taught Me (Part 1) - The Power of Presence

In this deeply personal episode, Jon shares raw reflections from a 4,000-mile journey between Arizona and London, Ontario—unpacking the emotional, relational, and spiritual lessons that surfaced along the way. 

Through tense moments in the car, painful goodbyes, feelings of spiritual dryness, and the unexpected beauty of others stepping up—Jon invites us into the sacred mess of real life. This is a story about control, surrender, and discovering grace in the most unexpected places. You’ll hear how God...

Episode 35 - My Testimony - A Pastor in Recovery

In this deeply personal episode, Pastor Jon Hammond shares his unfiltered testimony of pain, addiction, redemption, and healing. 

From childhood trauma to ministry burnout, from isolation to Celebrate Recovery, Jon takes you through the real journey of a pastor in recovery who is learning to walk in freedom—one step at a time.

If you’re a leader who struggles in silence, this episode is for you. You are not alone, and there is hope. 📖 Luke 8:39 – “Return home and tell how much God has...

🎙 Episode 34 – Hebrews 3:13 | Don’t Miss the Dandelions

"But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called 'Today,' so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness." – Hebrews 3:13

In this episode, I share a story that changed me—a poem from a girl in college. She described a well-dressed man walking through a beautiful field. He saw the wildflowers, the color, the splendor—but then, for some reason, he stopped… and pulled up a dandelion. She wrote, “I am that dandelion. Why did you even notice me?”

That moment pierced m...

As pastors, we often feel torn between the calling to lead like Jesus and the crushing weight of our own imperfection.

In this honest and grace-filled episode, Jon explores the many leadership styles found in the world today—authoritarian, populist, perfectionist, servant, visionary—and draws powerful comparisons to the perfectly balanced leadership of Christ. But more than a leadership study, this episode dives deep into the reality that many pastors in recovery face: we fall short. We hide. We cope. We perform instead of healing. And yet, Jesus still calls us—not to perfection, but to follow Him in hum...