An Old Timey Podcast

Normie C starts this series with a bold claim: That JCPenney is the best department store ever. This raises a lot of questions. Questions like… Really? Has Norm been to other department stores? Also, really??

In Part 1, Norm loads us up with all the context we’ll ever need about James Cash Penney Jr. A poor farm boy from Missouri, Penney would eventually create a chain of department stores with more than 2,000 locations worldwide. (If you’re able, please listen to this episode while wearing your finest St. John's Bay polo.)

Remember, kids, history hoes always cite t...

Mother’s Day. When Anna Jarvis founded the holiday, she envisioned it as a day for everyone to honor and thank their mothers. She worked tirelessly to promote the holiday. She hoped it would be celebrated around the globe.

But after a few years, Anna noticed that Mother’s Day was becoming… commercialized. Anna was incensed. She went to war against florists, greeting card makers and anyone else who might make a profit on Mother’s Day. Her anger even spilled over onto charities that used the holiday to help fundraise for mothers in need. By the end of her l...

In his final episode on Daylight Saving Time, Norm tells us that America has flip flopped on Daylight Saving Time for decades. We love it! We hate it! We implement it; we rescind it. Will the battle ever end? Probably not! Will Norm survive the disease known as the flu? We sure hope so!

Remember, kids, history hoes always cite their sources! For this episode, Norm pulled from:
Austermuhle, Martin. “A History Of D.C.’s Bizarre Daylight Saving Mishaps.” DCist (blog), n.d. https://dcist.com/story/19/03/11/a-history-of-d-c-s-bizarre-daylight-saving-mishaps/.
Duster, Chandelis. “Trump Urges Congress to Make Daylight...

“OMG, the sun is up! Shouldn’t you be awake, doing productive things?” … that’s essentially what Benjamin Franklin shouted when he advocated to change the hours of human activity to take advantage of daylight.

That idea later evolved into Daylight Saving Time. Since its inception, Daylight Saving Time has had its fans and critics. In this series, Norm refers to the critics as Sun Cynics. The fans? Sun Sluts. Where will you land?

Remember, kids, history hoes always cite their sources! For this episode, Norm pulled from:
Byrne, Kerry. “Meet the American Who Created Time Zones...

In the summer of 1974, the Cleveland Indians had a big problem. Hardly anyone showed up for their games. It was embarrassing! So, the team’s management brainstormed ways to get butts in seats. Ultimately, they opted to host a handful of 10-cent beer nights. They hoped that the cheap beer would draw people to the stadium.

The good news? The plan worked! The bad news? It was pandemonium!

Remember, kids, history hoes always cite their sources! For this episode, Kristin pulled from:
“Fifty years later, the chaos of Cleveland’s 10-cent beer night still shocks,” by Zack...

In the year of our Lord 1953, the city of Springfield, Missouri, had a terrible problem. Deadly cobras kept popping up in people’s yards! What were cobras doing in Missouri? They weren’t native to the area. Who the hell had rolled out the welcome mat??  

For the local police, the sudden presence of cobras wasn’t nearly as mysterious as it sounded. A local store, the Mowrer Animal Company, sold all kinds of exotic animals. Organutans! Crocodiles! And...you guessed it...cobras! But when police talked to the store's owner, he claimed innocence. What was going on?

In this *very special* episode of an Old Timey Podcast, we got DP’d.

Ahem. By that, we mean that Kristin’s dad (aka DP) took over. He renamed the podcast. He accused Norm of having a dirty mind. Worst of all, he tricked us. (On our own podcast! In our own home! Is nothing sacred??)

Remember, kids, history hoes always cite their sources! For this episode, DP pulled from:
“Small Town, Big Con” episode of 20/20
“A look back at the Natalie Cochran trial,” by Autumn Shelton for REAL WV
“Prosecutors say text messages show...

The final chapter of Robert Smalls’ life was eventful, and, at times, frustrating. He gained and lost government appointments. He won and lost political races. He weathered attacks on his character and attacks on his constituents. Through it all, he used his intelligence and agility to battle a system that tried – and failed – to take him down.

Remember, kids, history hoes always cite their sources! For this episode, Norm pulled from:

Billingsley, Andrew. Yearning to Breathe Free: Robert Smalls of South Carolina and His Families. Columbia: University of South Carolina Press, 2010.

Lineberry, Cate. Be Free o...

Brace yourselves. This episode is chock-full of post-reconstruction politics. Boy, is it grim! And also a little… relevant? (Ew!)

As South Carolina politics turned on its head, Robert Smalls emerged as one of the few Republican politicians still able to hold his seat. Unfortunately, Smalls’ influence and popularity put a target on his back. Soon, his political opponents ensured that he was charged with bribery. The trial was an absolute mess.

Remember, kids, history hoes always cite their sources! For this episode, Norm pulled from:
Billingsley, Andrew. Yearning to Breathe Free: Robert Smalls of South Caro...

After the American Civil War, Robert Smalls navigated the complicated waters of Reconstruction. Black people struggled for basic rights against the White planter class, who refused to accept the end of slavery.

In this difficult time, Robert Smalls rose to the occasion and became a leader in his community. He fought for public education, equality, suffrage, and protection against violent terrorist groups. But accusations of corruption and bribery threatened to dismantle progress.

Remember, kids, history hoes always cite their sources! For this episode, Norm pulled from:
Lineberry, Cate. Be Free or Die: The Amazing Story...

In part two of our series on Robert Smalls, Robert proves that his ballsy escape from slavery was just part of his story. In this episode, Robert builds wealth, becomes the Captain of a Union ship, and helps persuade the government to allow Black soldiers to enlist in the Union Army.

Remember, kids, history hoes always cite their sources! For this episode, Norm pulled from:
Lineberry, Cate. Be Free or Die: The Amazing Story of Robert Smalls’ Escape from Slavery to Union Hero. St. Martin’s Press, 2017.
Miller Jr., Edward. Gullah Statesman: Robert Smalls from Slavery to C...

As an enslaved man, Robert Smalls had one goal – to attain freedom for himself and his family. The odds were against him. He’d hoped to buy his wife and children from their enslaver, but saving that amount of money might take a lifetime. Then, when Robert’s home state of South Carolina seceded from the Union, freedom seemed even more out of reach. But then Robert got an idea. It would be bold. It would be dangerous. It would also require the cooperation, discretion, and skill of several other enslaved people. 

The craziest part? It worked.

Rem...

T’was an OUTRAGE! An Illinois-based company was working on a film about Jesus Christ. The problem? The film would portray Jesus as a drunk bank robber, a “swinging homosexual,” and a big fan of Hitler. Oh, and he’d also be depicted as having an affair with Mary Magdalene.

… wouldn’t the affair with Mary Magdalene make him bisexual, you ask? DON’T ASK QUESTIONS. In fact, don’t bother fact checking any of this! This is all about rage, baby!

Remember, kids, history hoes always cite their sources! For this episode, Kristin pulled from:
“Will Jesus...

In the final episode of this series, we hear how it all shakes out. The trials end. The messy love square between the Donnellys and Reeds implodes. Kansas City Mafia boss Johnny Lazia meets his maker. The Donnelly Garment Company thrives, then dies. Through it all, Nell Donnelly Reed rises to untold prominence, but still manages to keep her secrets.

Remember, kids, history hoes always cite their sources! For this episode, Kristin pulled from:
“Nelly Gone: KCQ traces the kidnapping of Nell Donnelly,” by Kate Hill for the Kansas City Public Library
The book, “More than Pettic...

James A. Reed was in federal court, about to argue his case, when a call came in from Kansas City. Nell Donnelly had been kidnapped. James panicked. To James, Nell was so much more than a celebrated fashion designer. She was his neighbor. She was his secret lover. She was the mother of his child. He’d do anything to save her – including threatening the head of the Kansas City mafia.

Remember, kids, history hoes always cite their sources! For this episode, Kristin pulled from:
“Nelly Gone: KCQ traces the kidnapping of Nell Donnelly,” by Kate Hill for the...

It was 6 p.m. on the evening of Wednesday, Dec. 16, 1931. Legendary fashion designer Nell Donnelly was headed home from work. Her chauffeur, George Blair, drove Nell’s lime green Lincoln through the streets of downtown Kansas City. When they arrived at her palatial home, George noticed a vehicle blocking the driveway. Two unfamiliar men stood on either side of it. George slammed on the brakes.

In seconds, one of the men charged at him with a gun. Two more men came running. One jumped into the backseat with Nell. The gunman took charge of the vehicle. The other ma...

Back in 1911, the Mona Lisa didn’t get a lot of attention. Art critics considered it an excellent example of a painting from the renaissance era, but the general public wasn’t nearly so enamored.

That changed in August of that year, when someone plucked it off the wall of the Louvre, busted it out of its glass box and frame, and took off with it.

Remember, kids, history hoes always cite their sources! For this episode, Kristin pulled from:
“Who stole the Mona Lisa?” by Simon Kuper for Slate
“Stolen: How the Mona Lisa becam...

When a dark haired man showed up at the Hotel President one January afternoon in 1935, the hotel staff couldn’t help but take note. He showed up without luggage. He seemed nervous. He said his name was Roland T. Owen and that he was from Los Angeles, but he spoke with a southern accent.

At one point, the hotel maid overheard him speak on the phone with a man named Don. She spotted a note he’d written to a man named Don. Several times, she walked into his room, only to discover him sitting alone in the dark...

In this final episode of our series on Pocahontas, we see Pocahontas navigate life as a kidnapped young woman. She gets a marriage proposal. She ushers in an era of peace for her people. She gives birth. She’s taken to England. At one point, she tells off that douchelord, John Smith.

Her life story presents challenges for historians, not just because Native American oral history conflicts with English sources, but because she held so many roles in her short life – often at the same time. She was a survivor, a victim, a diplomat, a spy, an adventurer, a mo...

In this episode, tensions rise and true crime abounds. And, like an old timey episode of Dateline, it starts off peachy keen! Pocahontas married a warrior. She had a child. She lived what seemed to be a happy, normal life. But being the favorite daughter of Chief Wahunsenaca put a target on her back. It wasn’t long before English settlers decided to kidnap her.

Remember, kids, history hoes always cite their sources! For this episode, Norm pulled from:
Custalow, Linwood, and Angela L. Daniel. The True Story of Pocahontas. Fulcrum Publishing, 2007.
“History Timeline | Historic Jamestowne,” n.d. h...

Chief Wahunsenaca was in a tough spot. English settlers were camped out nearby, desperate for food but heavily armed. He thought he might bring them under his fold by offering them food and community.

To help ensure meetings remained peaceful, he sent his favorite daughter, Pocahontas, as a sign of trust. Over the next year, Pocahontas frequently visited Jamestown. She brought food, taught the settlers her language, and played with the English kids.

Despite this offering, John Smith, the leader of the settlers, wasn’t willing to cede control. He made false promises. He reneged on ne...

When the English popped up on the shore of the “New World,” they were in rough shape. They didn’t have much food, knew next to nothing about their surroundings, and had a boatload of diseases. The English also brought with them an interesting worldview. They figured that Native Americans would be thrilled to: Give them food, work for them, change religions, and one day pay taxes to the King.

They thought wrong.

Remember, kids, history hoes always cite their sources! For this episode, Norm pulled from:
Custalow, Linwood, and Angela L. Daniel. The True Story...

Over the years, Pocahontas’ life story has become distorted, sensationalized and mythologized. Hell, it even got turned into an exceptionally crappy Disney movie! In this series, Norm separates fact from fiction as he delves into the complicated, fascinating life of Pocahontas.

Remember, kids, history hoes always cite their sources! For this episode, Norm pulled from:
Custalow, Linwood, and Angela L. Daniel. The True Story of Pocahontas. Fulcrum Publishing, 2007.
Henricus. “Making a House a Home in Powhatan Indian Communities,” January 31, 2020. https://henricus.org/2020/01/31/making-a-house-a-home-in-powhatan-indian-communities/.
Townsend, Camilla. Pocahontas and the Powhatan Dilemna. Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2004.
Woodwa...

Note: Hi friends. We had to say goodbye to our sweet, 17-year-old cat, Boo, this week, so we’re releasing this episode from our Patreon. We’ll be back to our regularly scheduled programming next week.

Teri Horton didn’t mince words. The $5 thrift store painting she’d picked up for a friend was ugly. Very ugly. It wasn’t even what she’d call art. It looked like blobs and sprays of paint flung willy-nilly on a massive canvas. So, when Teri’s friend didn’t want the painting, Teri wasn’t offended. But Teri was sure surprised when an...

Frances Perkins wasn’t just the first woman to serve in a presidential cabinet. She was also America’s longest serving Secretary of Labor. The only thing that overshadows her status as a trailblazer is what she accomplished in office. She’s the reason we have Social Security. She led the fight to end child labor, to establish a minimum wage and to create the 40-hour work week. She tried to establish universal health care… but hey, she was only human.

Ready for the sad part? She did all of that while under constant personal attacks. Her political opponent...

Frances Perkins was the first woman to serve in a presidential cabinet. She’s the reason we have Social Security. She led the fight to end child labor, to establish a minimum wage and to create the 40-hour work week. In this episode, we find out how this remarkable woman got her start. Did it help that her birth name was Fanny??? Possibly! Bad names build character!

Remember, kids, history hoes always cite their sources! For this episode, Kristin pulled from:
The documentary, “Summoned: Frances Perkins and the General Welfare.”
The book, “The Woman Behind the New Deal...

Walter Jackson Freeman wanted to do something *big.* As a neurologist for the nation’s largest psychiatric hospital, he saw patients who desperately needed help. But, absent any major medical breakthroughs, Walter was powerless to do much of anything.

So he spent years searching for *the thing* that separated people with mental illnesses from the normies. He studied brains. He measured them. He compared. In the end, he came up with nothing. He was devastated by his lack of progress. Then, in 1936, he came across the research of a Portuguese neurologist named Antonio Egas Moniz. Antonio had just de...

America’s first Olympic games were bad. But just how bad were they???

The 1904 St. Louis Olympics were part of a World’s Fair that featured human zoos, a display of premature babies, a racist athletic event called “Anthropology Days,” and more! The actual Olympic competitions were disorganized and featured mostly American athletes. And for the turd on this poo sundae - a marathon event that almost killed competitors.

But despite all this, some historians feel the 1904 St. Louis Olympics have been misjudged. Let’s find out!

Remember, kids, history hoes always cite their sources! F...

Frenchman Pierre de Coubertin was embarrassed. He had just revived the Ancient Olympic Games on a global scale. But the 1900 Games in his hometown of Paris, France were a disaster. They were a sideshow at the World’s Fair! Many competitors weren’t even aware they were participating in the Olympics!

Next time around, Coubertin vowed to find a host nation that would appreciate the Olympics.

And that’s when a colleague suggested the United States should play host.  But which city? Unfortunately, making that selection was easier said than done. 

Remember, kids, history hoes alw...

Wolfgang von Kempelen was unimpressed. Empress Maria Theresa had invited him to attend a magic show, hoping he’d tell her how the tricks worked. Instead, he told her – and everyone else in her court – that the tricks just plain sucked. He claimed he could do better. Stunned, Maria gave him six months off work to create something that would dazzle her court. So, six months later, Wolfgang von Kempelen showed up with what he claimed was an automaton chess playing machine. It would soon become known simply as “The Turk.” People were amazed. A machine that could play chess???

T...

Picture it! 1932. Western Australia. Emus were taking over. They were gobbling up and trampling farmers’ wheat, and in turn, destroying their livelihoods. Something had to be done. So, the Australian government came up with a *novel* solution. They’d arm three members of the Royal Australian Artillery with machine guns. They figured those tall, flightless birds would be easy prey. They were wrong.

Remember, kids, history hoes always cite their sources! For this episode, Norm pulled from: 
Brisbane Telegraph. “Emu Butchery - Machine Gun Offensive.” November 1, 1932.
Brisbane Telegraph. “Emu Offensive - Birds More Than Hold Their Own - Setba...

Lonnie Johnson was a smart guy — a very smart guy. As a NASA engineer, he spent his days coming up with solutions to complex problems. But when he went home, Lonnie’s brain kept whirring. So, he invented. He tinkered. He imagined. The vast majority of his creations had scientific, practical purposes. But his idea for a pressurized water gun? Well, that was just pure fun.

Remember, kids, history hoes always cite their sources! For this episode, Norm pulled from:
Adams, Susan. “The Inventor Of The Super Soaker Talks About Turning Inventions Into Products And His Next Big Id...

In the finale of our Mount Rushmore series, Mount Rushmore National Memorial gets finished. But the final product isn’t quite what Gutzon Borglum envisioned. The presidents aren’t sculpted down to their waists. There is no entablature. There is no true hall of records. There isn’t a message, written in three languages, in the hope that it’ll one day become Rosetta Stone 2: Electric Boogaloo.

And yet? It’s there! Despite the odds, four 60-foot tall faces of iconic American presidents are carved into a stolen, sacred mountain. Every year, millions of tourists make the trek to take a...

There are so many reasons why Mount Rushmore National Monument *shouldn’t* exist. Right from the start, there was opposition. Environmentalists called the proposed monument a desecration. Native Americans rightly asserted that the Black Hills — and specifically the Six Grandfathers Mountain (aka Mount Rushmore) — was their property.

But that didn’t stop Gutzon Borglum, or his circle of high-powered supporters. Together, they pushed forward. They even manipulated a president! Thanks to a mix of hubris, luck, and money, Mount Rushmore National Monument began to take shape.

Remember, kids, history hoes always cite their sources! For this episode...

Before he set his sights on Mount Rushmore, sculptor Gutzon Borglum had a vision for a massive monument to the Confederacy. He figured that Stone Mountain, located just outside of Atlanta, would be the perfect spot for his magnum opus. The United Daughters of the Confederacy agreed. So did their BFFs, the KKK. For years, the project seemed to be going well. It ended in disaster.

Remember, kids, history hoes always cite their sources! For this episode, Kristin pulled from:
The book, “The Carving of Mount Rushmore,” by Rex Alan Smith
The documentary, “Mount Rushmore”
“The Sordid...

In this series, we’re talking about something… pretty weird! It’s the fact that, roughly 100 years ago, a handful of people thought it’d be a really good idea to carve four gigantic faces into the side of a mountain. But why did they do it? Whose idea was it?? And finally, they were so busy asking if they could… DID THEY EVEN THINK TO ASK IF THEY SHOULD???

In this episode, we take a look at the man who designed Mount Rushmore, Gutzon Borglum. We look at his childhood, his early career, his weird sibling rivalry, and we wra...

In the History Channel’s “Hunting Hitler,” a group of experts embark on a disingenuous investigation into what became of Adolf Hitler. They consult unreliable witnesses. They make something out of nothing. They cherry pick evidence, and occasionally, they outright lie. Throughout the show, they ignore the forensic evidence, eyewitness accounts, and thorough investigations that showed what we already know — that Adolf Hitler died in the effing bunker!

“Hunting Hitler” might become Norm’s villain origin story. The show broke him. It transformed him. He is now… Evil Norm.

Remember, kids, history hoes always cite their sources! For thi...

Put on your tin foil hats, kids! It’s time for “Hunting Hitler.”

In previous episodes of this series, Norm covered Hitler’s final days, his suicide, and the subsequent investigations into his death. But the fine folks from the History Channel’s “Hunting Hitler” program want you to believe that Adolf Hitler truly might have escaped the bunker, unscathed. In this episode, we don our finest tin foil hats while debunking that BS.

If you feel inspired, share a photo wearing your classiest tin foil hat on Instagram, using the hashtag #OldTimeyConspiracy. We’ll award the listener wit...

Reports of Adolf Hitler’s death filled newspapers around the globe, but was he *really* dead? Like, for real??

Misinformation from the Soviet Union left people all over the world fearing that Hitler might have escaped the bunker. Soon, British and American intelligence stepped in to conduct their own investigations. Over time, the truth emerged. (But Hitler didn’t, because he was super dead.)

Remember, kids, history hoes always cite their sources! For this episode, Norm pulled from:
Daly-Groves, Luke. Hitler’s Death: The Case against Conspiracy. Oxford: Osprey Publishing, 2019.
Joachimsthaler, Anton, and Helmut Bögler...

In his final days, Adolf Hitler wallowed in self pity, sent children into war, and held tea parties into the wee hours of the morning. He also threw himself a birthday party. The guest list was a real who’s who of Most Evil Humans!

Ultimately, Hitler decided to take his ball and go home. (And by that, we of course mean that he shot himself and went to hell.)

Remember, kids, history hoes always cite their sources! For this episode, Norm pulled from: 
Daly-Groves, Luke. Hitler’s Death: The Case against Conspiracy. Oxford: Osprey Publi...