UnMuted Love with Ce Eshelman

We’re picking up right where we left off last episode on Reactive Attachment Disorder—because once you’ve embraced the P.A.C.E. approach, the next step is building a family culture that can actually hold it all. In this episode, Ce gets practical about what it really takes to raise a child with a severe attachment injury: structure, supervision, belonging, and relentless compassion.

You’ll learn how to create a home that’s safe, respectful, fun, and predictable—even if your child is doing everything in their power to test it. From rituals...

Parenting a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder isn’t about trying harder—it’s about parenting differently. In this episode, Ce dives into what it truly means to be a secure base for children from very difficult beginnings. You’ll learn Dan Hughes' P.A.C.E. framework—Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity, Empathy—and why it’s the heart of healing.

Ce will unpack how attunement, emotional connection, and gentle persistence can rewire a child’s trust system, and how to show up in ways that say: you are safe, you are loved, you belong.

...

So your child got a RAD diagnosis—now what? In this follow-up episode, we move beyond understanding and dive into the real-life strategies that make a difference. Ce shares practical, brain-savvy tools for parenting kids who push love away, challenge every limit, and need you most when they act like they don’t.

We’ll talk about attachment-focused, brain-based behavior management, daily routines that work, and how to survive the hard moments without losing yourself—or your child—in the chaos.

Parenting RAD is a marathon. You don’t have to run...

When kids don’t get the consistent, nurturing care they need early in life, their ability to form healthy relationships can get wired all wrong. In this episode, we’re unpacking Reactive Attachment Disorder—what it is, what causes it, how it's diagnosed, and why early recognition can make all the difference.

If you're raising a child through adoption, foster care, or trauma, this is a must-listen primer on what might really be going on beneath the surface of those big behaviors. No blame. Just brain science, compassion, and clarity.

Let’s start th...

New episodes of UnMuted Love will resume in July. Until then, be sure to catch up on any episodes of the show you might have missed, and remember: Your Love Matters!

From Ce Eshelman:

Are you searching for a community of parents who will get you; who offer an attentive ear and open arms in the worst of times; who give you a standing ovation for the monumentally big "small steps" forward you make with your child? It is so painful to walk the jagged trail of this parenting journey alone and no...

Today's episode is all about stepping out of the drama of playing various unhealthy roles inside ourselves and within our families. Ce briefly shares parts of the Karpman Drama Triangle and how replacing it with the Empowerment Triangle can save you from Victim, Persecutor, and Rescuer behaviors in your family interactions. Stop the chaos by stepping out of the drama.

From Ce Eshelman:

Are you searching for a community of parents who will get you; who offer an attentive ear and open arms in the worst of times; who give you a standing ova...

Everyone wants a magic cookie cutter intervention for stopping being hit by children who experienced trauma. Guess what, no magic solutions possible. There are some answers though. Self care for you and connection for them are paramount. In today's episode, When Love Hurts, Ce talks about some simple tips for dealing with this in a family setting and when your children are not teenagers. Take a listen.

From Ce Eshelman:

Are you searching for a community of parents who will get you; who offer an attentive ear and open arms in the worst of...

In this episode, Ce tackles the often infuriating statements that come out of our children's mouths like: "I didn't do it," "I didn't take it," You never believe me," or the perfect accusation "You don't love me."  Yes, children gaslight, too. In adults it is quite damaging. In children, gaslighting is an opportunity for parents to build their child's felt sense of safety. Listen to today's episode to find out ways of handling this defense mechanism the next time you hear, "You always think I'm lying."

From Ce Eshelman:

Are you searching for a commun...

Today Ce makes it easy to see how Adverse Childhood Experiences in a parent's life and their attachment style impacts parenting children from difficult beginnings. 

Take the ACES test to find your score before you listen to this episode. You can take it here: acesaware.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/07/ACE-Questionnaire-for-Adults-Identified-English-rev.7.26.22.pdf or simply Google ACES test and you will be taken to the questionnaire. 

Once you know more you will be better able to understand where to focus on your own healing from attachment and trauma wounds in childhood that imp...

Ce shares her experience as a therapist during what is turning out to be troubling times. Find out the 10 myths of grief and some tips for coping with a personal grief over losing a loved one, grief after losing a dream, or collective grief from the political wave of change that is provoking an avalanche of mixed feelings--grief being one of the many--no matter what side of the aisle you are on. 

From Ce Eshelman:

Are you searching for a community of parents who will get you; who offer an attentive ear and open...

In today's episode Ce gives you a short and sweet neuroscience lesson on why kids self-sabotage so much and how parents can be the changemakers in the way they respond. There isn't anything more frustrating than wanting your child to be able to have fun at an anticipated birthday party, overnight with friends, or a trip to Six Flags, and just before the event they pull out some kind of behavior that ruins their opportunity to do it. Ce helps parents prevent their children's self-sabotage by changing their own responses to those behaviors. Thank you for listening to Unmuted Love...

Ce Eshelman, LMFT, embarks on a journey through the big emotions that come when adoptive parents bring their children home and the reality doesn't match the dream. There are many ways to understand these emotions, and learning ways to process them will help parents stay out of Blocked Care. Ce shares some awareness, insights and practical solutions in today's episode.

Resource:

Reclaiming Compassion

The Adoptive Parent's Guide to Overcoming Blocked Care with Neuroscience and Faith by Melissa Corkum and Lisa Qualls

From Ce Eshelman:

A...

From Ce Eshelman:

Are you searching for a community of parents who will get you; who offer an attentive ear and open arms in the worst of times; who give you a standing ovation for the monumentally big "small steps" forward you make with your child? It is so painful to walk the jagged trail of this parenting journey alone and no one is ever alone in the Love Matters Parenting Society Therapeutic Parent Program. You will feel seen, understood, and actually deeply cared for. We know it as "love." The Society is a virtual program for...

Ce Eshelman shares from her heart about how Valentine's Day can hit parents of children from difficult beginnings right in the gut. If you are feeling blocked and you want to stick your head in the sand until Feb 15th, then you will want to listen to this episode of Unmuted Love. There are tips, neuro hacks, suggestions, and supports for a healthy glimmer of warmth when it feels like your heart has frozen over.

From Ce Eshelman:

Are you searching for a community of parents who will get you; who offer an att...

Ce interviews Naomi Houston about her journey from being adopted from China by American parents through her recovery from complex developmental trauma.. Naomi has written a lovely account of her therapeutic recovery to date from abandonment trauma in adoption in her first book, A Glimpse into the Unknown. Naomi speaks frankly about her childhood struggles and gives her thoughts on what to do or not to do when parenting children who are struggling after adoption. I hope you enjoy the show.

I recommend this book for deep-thinking, teen readers, as well as, for young adults who have...

Ce shares some startling statistics about how teen girls were impacted by the pandemic as well as how they are fairing with the toxic influences of social media. When you know the data, your head with spin. This is an opportunity to tune in and open up communication with girls to lift their feelings of depression, anxiety and social pressure in this "anxious generation."

Resources:

Girls on the Brink by Donna Jackson Nakazawa

Dial Down the Drama by Colleen O'Grady

No More Mean Girls by Katie Hurley

<...

Ce takes you on a journey to explore the tip of your blocked parenting iceberg. The Love Matters Parenting Society Therapeutic Parent Program takes a deeper dive into blocked care and Ce gives you an overview here to help you get yourself on a healing path. You can warm your tepid, blocked heart. You can check out Love Matters Parenting Society below for more information about becoming more healing in your relationship with your child from difficult beginnings.

From Ce Eshelman:

Are you searching for a community of parents who will get you; who...

Ce welcomes you to the first podcast of 2025 and shares her thoughts about resolutions and why she doesn't make them anymore, plus some of her thoughts on how to deal with social media in the years ahead. 

From Ce Eshelman:

Are you searching for a community of parents who will get you; who offer an attentive ear and open arms in the worst of times; who give you a standing ovation for the monumentally big "small steps" forward you make with your child? It is so painful to walk the jagged trail of t...

Contrary to popular belief, Ce doesn't work around the clock. She is on a holiday break from the podcast, and her incredible producer, Siah Clark, has stepped in to give you a little mash-up of podcasts past. Thank you for being such loyal listeners. You are the moon and the stars to us here at UnMuted Love. Let's sail into the new year with intention in our minds, determination in our bones, and love in our hearts. We are wishing you little glimmers of happy all through the New Year.  

Eileen Divine, who is featur...

UnMuted Love - Episode 37: Before all Else Fails Use A Mantra... Sometimes we, parents, just need something running through our minds that reminds us that "every little thing is gonna be alright." Today's podcast is a very long list of mantras you can pick from to run around in your brain to remind you of what is important while living with children from difficult beginnings. You can also listen to this podcast on repeat for a lovely long list of affirmations to put you to sleep, pick you up, and/or carry you forward through the rest of the ho...

UnMuted Love - Episode 36: Spotlight on Holidays and Vacations with Ce Eshelman. Holidays and vacations require just a little bit more thought than most of us wish. If you are visiting friends and family for the holidays or going somewhere new, beware, kids like routine and by definition holidays and vacations are off routine. That means the dysregulation is on. Listen to this podcast to prepare for challenges ahead. You got this.

From Ce Eshelman:

Are you searching for a community of parents who will get you; who offer an attentive ear and open...

UnMuted Love - Episode 35: Taking the Wild Out of The Holidays. The holidays" start every year in October and they keep on rolling until after the New Year. Let's face it, "fun" can be stressful for everyone. Ce Eshelman knows you can create joyful experiences this holiday when you consider each person's capacity to tolerate social, physical, and emotional stimulation. It helps to have the right tools, too. It is possible to enjoy all the seasons' festivities with children from difficult beginnings if you plan thoughtfully for the hustle and bustle. It never seems like we have enough time...

UnMuted Love - Episode 34: Ce Eshelman interviews Ginger Healy, the Director of the Attachment and Trauma Network (ATN), a parent-created national organization supporting traumatized children and their parents. In 1995 three mothers who were parenting children diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder met to support one another only to find how similar their journeys were and that they truly were “Not Alone,” ATN was born. Ginger is an incredible champion of parents of children from difficult beginnings all over the country. 

The mission of ATN could not be more aligned with Ce's mission at The Attach Place an...

UnMuted Love with Ce Eshelman - Episode 33: Brave Love (Part 6 of 6) Grief and Surrender in Parenting Children from Difficult Beginnings brings it all together in this last episode. Amanda Savarino and Ce Eshelman wrap up the Brave Love Series with a recap of the important concepts in the series and a frank discussion about grief in adoption and surrender to "What is" when you love a child who has been traumatized. You won't want to miss this episode because it is full of reflection and hope. Brave Love is a series developed by Amanda Savarino for parents of children...

UnMuted Love - Episode 32: Brave Love (Part 5 of 6) Creating Parental Capacity for Regulation. Amanda Savarino again joins Ce Eshelman for an informative discussion about narrow bandwidth, low charge in the battery, and increasing capacity for one's parenting life in any given moment. You won't want to miss this episode. Brave Love is a 6-part series developed by Amanda Savarino for parents of children from hard beginnings.

From Ce Eshelman:

Are you searching for a community of parents who will get you; who offer an attentive ear and open arms in the worst of...

UnMuted Love with Ce Eshelman - Episode 31: Brave Love (Part 4B of 6) Behavior, A Nervous System Perspective. Ce Eshelman and Amanda Savarino discuss the ins and outs of trauma behavior in children. If all behavior is communication, what is your child's behavior telling you? Brave Love is a 6-part series created by Amanda Savarino for parents loving children from hard places.

From Ce Eshelman:

Are you searching for a community of parents who will get you; who offer an attentive ear and open arms in the worst of times; who give you a...

UnMuted Love - Episode 30: Brave Love (Part 4A of 6) Ce Eshelman and Amanda Savarino discuss Behavior, A Nervous System Perspective. If all behavior is communication, what is your child's behavior telling you? Brave Love is a 6-part series created by Amanda for parents loving children from hard places.

Resources

Beyond Behavior, Mona Delahooke, PH.D.

15-Minute Focus Regulation and Co-Regulation, Ginger Healy, LCSW

Drowning with My Hair on Fire: Insanity Relief for Adoptive Parents, Ce Eshelman, LMFT

From Ce Eshelman:

Are you...

UnMuted Love with Ce Eshelman - Episode 29: Brave Love (Part 3 of 6) Finding Community is devoted to the importance of finding "your people" when parenting children from difficult beginnings. Amanda Savarino again joins Ce Eshelman for a lively discussion of how they weathered the storms of their early parenting years alone and isolated until they found real hope in the form of others on the same journey. Brave Love is a 6-part series created by Amanda Savarino for parents loving children from hard places.

From Ce Eshelman:

Are you searching for a community of...

UnMuted Love - Episode 27: Brave Love Series (Part 2-6 ) with Amanda Savarino and Ce on The Antidote for Shame. Ce Eshelman and Amanda are kindred spirits who love talking together about the things they each learned from parenting their children from difficult beginnings. Both women have professional careers dedicated to supporting parents with what they learned when they were first parenting their own children.

Resources

Books:

Brene' Brown, I Thought It Was Just Me

Brene' Brown, Daring Greatly

Brene' Brown, Rising Strong

Esther Liu...

UnMuted Love - Episode 27: Brave Love (Part 1-6 ) with Amanda Savarino and Ce Eshelman on Blocked Care. The series begins with these two moms chatting about their lived experience. Ce and Amanda both struggled separately with feelings they came to understand as "Blocked Care." Little by little both found their way to living a life they love. If you find you resonate, there is always hope.

Resources

Books:

UnMuted Love - Episode 27: Laura Stillmunkes and Ce Discuss Race in Multiracial Families.  Ce and Laura, Executive Director of Capitol Adoptive Families Alliance in Sacramento, CA, have a frank conversation about the issues that arise when Caucasian people adopt Black children. You won't want to miss this enlightened conversation on Laura's lived experience of race in America.

From Ce Eshelman:

Are you searching for a community of parents who will get you; who offer an attentive ear and open arms in the worst of times; who give you a standing ovation for the m...

UnMuted Love - Episode 25: AJ Gajjar returns for her promised discussion with Ce on Grief while parenting children who have experienced trauma. AJ is a High Conflict Divorce provider working with parents and children in Canada.

If you missed AJ's first visit to UnMuted Love, jump back to Episode 21 for a listen. She is awesome.

If you think AJ's experience is right in alignment with your lived experience, you might want to contact her at AJ@thetraumahealingparenting.com or check out her website at TheTraumaHealingParenting.com.

Unmuted Love - Episode 24: Your are in for a real treat today. Amanda Saravino, Parent Extraordinaire, shares with Ce in an incredibly meaningful interview aimed right at the hearts of parents who are learning to love living with children from difficult beginnings. Amanda is a Parent Partner in Koinonia's Post Adoption Wraparound Program in Loomis, CA. She shares straight from the heart in this beautiful exchange with Ce.

Coming soon: Amanda Savarino and Ce Eshelman will be putting together a series for parents of children from difficult beginnings. Stay tuned. We will get the...

July 4th Bonus Offer to Jump Into the Love Matters Parenting Society Therapeutic Parent Program extended registration period through July 7, 2024. Don't miss out. Click the link here to register now. What is there to lose? Money back guarantee, bonuses, 1:1 consultation with Ce Eshelman, Attachment and Trauma Specialist absolutely free.

Additional resources:

Join Love Matters Parenting Society waiting list here. Doors open again on June 26, 2024. Don't miss your window of opportunity.

📖 Get your copy of Drowning with My Hair On Fire: Insanity Relief for Adoptive Parents by Ce Eshelman

✨ Hear the Su...

UnMuted Love - Episode 23: Ce interviews Janessa Joy, a Canadian mother, who supports families to see their neurodivergent children with compassion, grace, and love. Her program One Red Zebra is the outgrowth of her vision. You can check it out here: oneredzerbra.com

If you would like to register for Ce's upcoming free webinar on June 18th and again on June 25th, The Truth About Complex Developmental Trauma, you can do that right HERE.

From Ce Eshelman:

Are you searching for a community of parents who will get...

UnMuted Love - Episode 22: Ce reaches out to interview a parent, Kyle Jetsel, who has raised 4 "spirited" bio-children successfully. He has an interesting origin story and transformation. Listen while he shares a few of his strategies that he and his wife put together to change the trajectory of their lives. It is a unique journey filled with God, love, and redemption. I hope you enjoy it.

If you want to communicate with Kyle, you can reach him at https://kylejetsel.com/.

From Ce Eshelman:

Are you searching for...

UnMuted Love - Episode 21: Ce interviews AJ Gajjar, a parenting expert, who really understands the impact of trauma on children. Her specialty is parenting children traumatized by high conflict divorce. You might think these two worlds are very different, and listen to just how similar trauma is child to child.

If you think AJ's experience is right in alignment with your lived experience, you might want to contact her at AJ@thetraumahealingparenting.com or check out her website at TheTraumaHealingParenting.com.

Additional Resources:

Join Love Matters Parenting Society...

UnMuted Love - Episode 20: Mental Health Awareness Month in the U.S. is significant because it allows us to bring ourselves out of the cultural stigma of mental illness. Children from difficult beginnings often have a comorbid mental health condition. No shame. No blame, Just support and acceptance.

From Ce Eshelman:

Are you searching for a community of parents who will get you; who offer an attentive ear and open arms in the worst of times; who give you a standing ovation for the monumentally big "small steps" forward you make with your...

UnMuted Love - Episode 19 with the intrepid Amanda Molenaar: Ce interviews Amanda, a former diplomat turned Life Coach for ex-patriots who want to live in other countries but need support to have the courage and the mindset to do so. Amanda shares her early traumatic years at home and in foster care as a teen and how those experiences have shaped her into the person she is today. Don't miss this lovely transformation story from a childhood of trauma to a life of freedom and satisfaction.

If you would like to connect with Amanda...

UnMuted Love - Episode 18: Ce interviews Kristine Binderup, ever-growing mother of 2, grandmother of 1, and member of the Love Matters Parenting Society Parent Training Program. Today the focus is on intergenerational transmission of trauma patterns in Kristi's family and how she is working to change her granddaughter's trajectory. You won't want to miss this amazing road to healing.

From Ce Eshelman:

Are you searching for a community of parents who will get you; who offer an attentive ear and open arms in the worst of times; who give you a standing ovation for the...