Frustrated And Exhausted

In this episode of "Frustrated and Exhausted," I dive into the concept of the "achievement hangover"—that letdown or slump in energy and mood after reaching a major professional milestone. They explore why, after striving hard for a goal and achieving it, you might not feel the sense of fulfillment you expected. The discussion also covers societal and organizational expectations, particularly for women, and offers practical advice for processing these feelings and navigating the aftermath of achievement.

Timestamps & Topics

00:00:22 –

What Is the Achievement Hangover?

In this episode, I’m calling out the confidence hype. We’ve all been told that if we just had more confidence, we’d get the job, the pay rise, the recognition. The truth is confidence is not the magic fix it’s made out to be.

It’s often a cover for deeper stuff like privilege, practice, or just being loud. And when we buy into the idea that we’re not doing well because we’re not confident enough, it becomes yet another reason to beat ourselves up.

What if the real game changers are t...

We’re told to “just be authentic” as leaders. But let’s be honest, actually doing that can feel like ripping your chest open in front of a room full of people.

In this episode, I’m diving into why being authentic sounds great in theory, but often feels uncomfortable in practice.

I share a real story from a client who finally spoke up in a tough environment… and then spent the next 24 hours spiralling with doubt. Sound familiar?

We explore the very real tension between showing up as yourself and the anxiety that comes w...

What if the traditional idea of leadership, the way we’re told it should look, just doesn’t suit you?

I’m unpacking why so much leadership advice feels awkward or just plain exhausting for some women.

Maybe you don’t want to be the loudest in the room. Maybe being “always on” isn’t your thing. And maybe, just maybe, there’s another way to lead that actually feels like you.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re playing a role instead of showing up as yourself, this episode is for you. Let’s talk abou...

Ever walked into a room and thought, “Oh... it’s just me then”?

In this episode, I’m talking about what it’s really like to be the only woman in the room.

The awkwardness.

The invisible load.

The way we manage, rather than just show up as we are. I’m sharing how those old patterns sneak back in, and how we can notice them, challenge them, and show up fully as ourselves anyway!

Here are the highlights

Performance Pressure and Hypervisibility (1:34)

Structural Issues and Cultural...

In this episode, I am unpacking the hidden cost of “good girl” conditioning in the workplace.

From over apologising and people pleasing, to decision fatigue and emotional burnout, I explore how the pressure to be liked can chip away at our confidence, assertiveness, and authenticity.

You’ll hear how these habits are wired into us, why they’re so hard to shake, and how we can start to rewire our responses.

Here are the highlights

Impact of Good Girl Conditioning on Workplace Behaviour (2:36)

Emotional and Decision Fatigue from Good Girl Beh...

Do you take yourself as seriously as others do? That one question at a business event stopped me in my tracks, and sparked this episode.

I’m reflecting on why we sometimes hold back, ignore our ambitions, or play smaller than we need to.

We’ll explore how self doubt, fear of change, and putting others first can quietly chip away at our confidence.

Here are the highlights

Personal Growth (3:00)

Challenges of Taking Yourself Seriously (4:07)

Do You Dream Anymore? (5:21)

Environment and Support Networks (8:55)

Co...

What actually makes a leader inspiring? In this episode, I unpack what inspirational leadership looks like day to day, not just from a stage.

We’re talking about connection, creativity, shared purpose, trust, and the quiet kind of presence that draws people in.

I also share why you can’t inspire others if you’re running on empty, and what it takes to stay energised and creative as a leader.

Here are the highlights

Building Connection and Shared Purpose (3:56)

Communication and Storytelling in Leadership (7:40)

Personal Experiences and Source...

Do you ever feel like you're carrying the weight of impossible standards? In this episode, I’m talking about how high expectations, especially the ones we set for ourselves, can sneakily lead to perfectionism, burnout, and self doubt.

We’ll explore where these pressures come from, how they play out at work and home, and why “doing enough” is more powerful than it sounds.

Here are the highlights

Internal vs External Expectations (2:15)

Perfectionism and Self-Doubt (5:53)

Impact on Risk Taking and Relationships (7:55)

Practical Strategies (11:08)

Connect with Ruth:

Today we’re getting into a topic that hits closer to home than most people want to admit - crying at work. 

I’m unpacking why emotions show up, how they get misunderstood, and what actually helps when things get teary. We’ll talk gender biases, emotional triggers, and why getting curious about tears can change the whole culture of a workplace. 

Whether you're a secret crier like me or someone who panics when emotions pop up in meetings, this episode will help you understand it all in a much more human way.

Here are...

In this episode, I’m getting honest about something I’ve been struggling with lately - focus.

From brain fog to constant distractions, it’s harder than ever to get into deep work mode. So, I’ve been digging into the science of focus, and what actually helps us reclaim our attention in the middle of all the noise!

We’ll talk about inner, outer, and social focus, how tech and multitasking are rewiring our brains, and why being “busy” isn’t the same as being productive.

Here are the highlights

The Importance o...

What does it really take to lead with purpose in today’s world? In this episode, I chat with Estelle McCartney, CEO of Arctic Shores, about career pivots, privilege, and creating change that matters.

Estelle shares how personal loss and a desire for impact shaped her journey from politics to tech, and why her leadership style is rooted in curiosity, humility, and knowing when to lean in (and when to lean out).

We talk about building diverse teams, making recruitment fairer, and why leaders aren’t meant to play every instrument in the orchestra.

He...

Leading when you're the youngest in the room isn’t always celebrated, especially if you’re a woman.

In this episode, I’m talking about the real life challenges young female leaders face, from being underestimated to dealing with age and gender bias in the workplace.

I’ll share experiences from my own career and my clients’, plus offer practical ways to build your confidence, boost visibility, and get the support you need.

Whether you're climbing fast or figuring out your next move, this episode is your reminder that you don’t have to wait your...

What does it take to build a genuinely high performing team that doesn’t burn out along the way? In this episode, I’m joined by Lorraine Kelly to talk all things leadership, inclusion, and what it really means to support your people.

We get into team culture, trust, boundaries, and visibility, plus how to lead with both strength and kindness.

Lorraine shares the lessons that shaped her journey and why sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is stop saying sorry. If you lead a team or want to, this one’s packed with g...

In this episode, I’m sharing a very personal reflection on effort, performance, and the fine line between healthy striving and perfectionism - all inspired by a weekend dance show with my daughters. 

From pre-show nerves to post-performance self-criticism, I saw just how early we start internalising pressure to get things exactly right.

I’m talking about masking, memory processing challenges, the invisible cost of always “trying,” and why sometimes the most powerful leadership lesson is watching a professional forget the words to Phantom of the Opera - and carry on with a smile. 

If you’v...

What does real advocacy look like?

In this episode, I sit down with Kim Atkinson, CEO of the Scottish Sports Association, to unpack the roles women and men play in driving gender equity. We explore why some women hold others back, and how men can step up as real allies.

Kim shares her experiences navigating leadership from a young age, the power of mentorship, and why small actions, like advocating for someone when they’re not in the room, make all the difference.

Here are the highlights

Navigating Early Leadership Roles (6:49)

International Women’s Day is over for another year, but what now?

In this episode, I reflect on what real action for gender equity looks like and how we can go beyond hashtags and corporate campaigns. I explore the four ways women show up in leadership.

More importantly, I’m asking, how do we step up? I share my next steps, including getting more involved in policy and collaboration, and I’d love to hear from you. Are you ready to be a game changer?

Here are the highlights

(01:00) International Women's Day Re...

International Women’s Day sparks celebrations, corporate campaigns, and a whole lot of debate. But is it still relevant?

In this episode, I unpack the contradictions around IWD.

Does it drive real change, or is it just another hashtag?

I share my personal experiences of how IWD is marked around the world, why I struggle with its meaning, and what actually needs to happen for it to be more than just a symbolic gesture.

One day isn’t enough, but does that mean we should scrap it altogether? Let’s talk!

H...

AI is everywhere, but are women missing out on shaping its future?

In this episode, I chat with Carolyn Shepherd, an expert in helping no- tech professionals embrace AI for leadership and productivity.

We explore why women must get involved, the risks of staying on the side-lines, and how AI can transform career growth.

Carolyn shares insights on overcoming fears, the surprising environmental impact of AI, and why understanding it is no longer just a nice thing to have.

If you are curious, cautious, or completely clueless about AI, this conversation...

We hear it all the time, women just need to be “more confident” to get ahead in their careers.

But what if the problem isn’t confidence at all?

In this episode, I’m breaking down the confidence myth and why this narrative unfairly shifts the responsibility onto women while ignoring the real issue: systemic bias in workplaces.

Here are the highlights

(02:08) Systemic Barriers and Perceived Confidence

(03:53) Imposter Syndrome and Overconfidence

(06:55) Cultural Expectations

(09:50) Shifting the Conversation

(12:24) Individual Actions

Laura Bates, Fix the...

In this episode, I had the privilege of chatting with Tracy Vegro OBE, a powerhouse in the financial and regulatory world. We explored how organisations can create spaces where everyone can thrive and the role that trust, flexibility, and generational understanding play in building resilient teams.

Tracy’s insights on how well intentioned teams can unintentionally create toxic cultures really struck a chord. We also discussed the evolving expectations of today’s workforce and why adaptability and open mindedness are essential leadership traits!

Here are the highlights

(04:16) Tracy's Career Journey

(07:38) Challenges and...

Burnout isn’t just feeling tired, it’s that deep, bone weary exhaustion that makes everything feel harder than it should.

In this episode, I’m getting into why so many high, achievers push through stress until they’re completely depleted and why walking away from a toxic or unfulfilling job often feels impossible.

Mental Health UK Burnout Report 2025

People Management, ‘One in five took time off because of stress last year”.

Mental Health Foundation

Book a call with Ruth

Here are the highlights

(02:47) Defining Burnout and...

In this episode, I’m chatting with Leisa Docherty. We explore what it really takes to adapt your leadership style, from staying consistent to earning trust and creating a culture where your team can thrive.

Leisa shares her own journey, including some pivotal moments where feedback helped her rethink and refine how she shows up as a leader!

Here are the highlights

(01:54) Career Journey

(03:58) Leadership Traits and Behaviors

(04:18) Consistency and Trust

(09:57) Impact of Stress on Leadership

(20:32) Balancing Support and Challenge

(26:05) Curiosity and Innovation in...

Ever felt like you’re carrying the weight of your team while others coast by unnoticed? In this episode, I’m digging into the reality of unequal effort in teams, why it happens, and how it impacts dynamics, recognition, and morale. 

From the “competent person trap” to unbalanced workloads and misaligned expectations, we’ll explore how these issues create frustration and disengagement.

You’ll get actionable tips to address imbalances, improve communication, and build a culture of accountability and recognition. 

Whether you’re leading a team or navigating one, this episode is packed with insights to...

In this episode, we’re joined by Andrew Jacobs, a learning and development strategist with over 30 years of experience, to tackle the topic of allyship and its real impact. Andrew shares his personal journey of recognising privilege and turning it into meaningful action in the workplace and beyond.

From questioning the performative nature of International Women’s Day to addressing everyday biases in workplace design, Andrew offers thought-provoking insights into what genuine support and advocacy look like.

This isn’t your typical conversation about allyship. It’s a candid exploration of the small changes that create r...

When you think of a leader, who comes to mind? Maybe someone bold and commanding? 

I used to think the same until I worked with a leader whose quiet, intentional style completely changed my perspective. 

In this episode, I’m sharing what I learned from their thoughtful approach, how listening, collaboration, and purposeful action can make just as much (if not more) of an impact as the loudest voice in the room.

Let’s rethink what it means to lead well.

Here are the highlights

(02:49) Defining Quiet Leadership

(04...

What does success really look like for you in 2025? 

In this episode, I’ll walk you through a reflection on what’s worked, what hasn’t, and how to intentionally shape your year ahead.

We’ll explore defining success on your terms, reflecting on lessons from 2024, and setting goals (or intentions) that align with your values, not someone else’s expectations.

Here are the highlights

(01:00) Reflecting on 2024

(05:51) Acknowledging Challenges and Learning from Them

(08:55) Defining Personal Success in 2025

(13:22) Personal Reflections and Setting Intentions

(18:23) Summary

Connec...

Rest isn’t a luxury, it’s essential, and in this episode, I’m exploring why it’s so hard to prioritise but so necessary to function.

I share the seven types of rest, from physical and mental to creative and emotional, and why knowing what you really need is a game changer. 

It’s about moving beyond burnout, reframing rest as an investment, and learning how small, intentional steps can completely recharge you.

Here are the highlights

(00:40) Essence of Rest 

(01:27) Active vs. Passive Rest

(04:41) Reframing Rest as an Invest...

The festive season can be a mix of joy and tension, especially when navigating tricky relationships at work or at home. 

In this episode, I talk about the common sources of conflict, like unspoken expectations and lingering tensions that bubble up when stress levels are high, and how to handle them with more calm and clarity. 

We’ll explore strategies for setting boundaries, addressing behaviour without getting personal, and prioritising quality time with people who truly lift you up!

I’ll also touch on when it’s okay to step away from toxic dynamics...

Toxic work environments are more than just stressful, they can be soul destroying. In this episode, I share personal experiences and practical advice on recognising when your workplace is harming your mental well being. 

We’ll explore the key red flags, from poor communication to constant micromanagement, and discuss how to decide if it’s time to stay or go. If you’re feeling undervalued or burned out, this is for you!

Here are the highlights

(03:43) Key Traits of a Toxic Work Environment

(08:03) Red Flags and Practical Strategies

(13:47) Exit Strateg...

Wow, it’s been a whole year of Frustrated and Exhausted! 

In this episode, I’m pausing to reflect on what this journey has meant, both for me and for all of you listening! From the first episode to now, it’s grown into something so much bigger than I imagined. 

We’ve created a space where women in leadership feel understood, supported, and inspired to tackle the unique challenges we face.

I’ll share some of the most powerful moments and lessons we’ve explored together.

Whether you’ve been here from the st...

The festive season is here, and with it comes the whirlwind of planning, hosting, and endless to do lists. 

In this episode, I’m talking about the pressure many women feel to create a picture perfect celebration while juggling work, family, and everything in between. From letting go of perfectionism to prioritising meaningful connections, we’ll explore practical ways to avoid burnout and actually enjoy this busy time of year!

I’ll also share tips on asking for help, delegating tasks, and carving out time for self care, because you deserve to feel as festive as ever...

Taking risks in your career can feel like a game of high-stakes poker—do you stay in your comfort zone or bet on a bigger, bolder move?

In this episode, I explore how to figure out when to take the leap and when to hold steady. From understanding your personal risk appetite to navigating career conversations, we’ll unpack the key questions to ask yourself before making that next big decision. I also share practical ways to challenge self-doubt, avoid the trap of procrastination, and make choices that align with your values.

Whether you're considering a ca...

In this episode, Alyssa Jaffer, a Senior Global Communications Manager, shares her insights on navigating the complexities of communication across cultures and the impact of gender and intersectionality in her career.

From facing biases like the “motherhood penalty” to balancing assertiveness with empathy, Alyssa reveals how storytelling and community can empower women in the workplace. Her reflections on overcoming stereotypes and building genuine connections offer valuable takeaways for anyone looking to lead with authenticity and purpose.

Highlights from this episode:

(01:29) Alyssa’s experience

(04:28) The double bind

(11:06) When you don’t get ha...

Ever felt stuck dealing with that boss—the one who’s not just tough but actually crosses into uncomfortable or even toxic territory?

In this episode, I’m tackling an uncomfortable but crucial topic, the female leader who, despite knowing the struggle herself, makes things difficult for other women.

We’ll unpack why this happens, from unresolved trauma to harsh work environments, and the roles we unconsciously play in workplace drama.

I’ll also walk you through what to do if you’re facing this kind of challenge, from documenting incidents to seeking support.

In this episode of Frustrated and Exhausted, we’re unpacking the stereotypes around emotions in the workplace, especially the idea that women are “too emotional.” 

Is it true that women are more emotional than men, or are we just expected to express emotions differently? I’ll share research that challenges these outdated beliefs and explore how these stereotypes impact women’s experiences and growth in professional settings.

We’ll also look at how organisations shape what’s “acceptable” when it comes to showing emotion, and I’ll share practical tips for navigating these unspoken rules. 

This episode is a...

In this episode of Frustrated and Exhausted, I explore the power of truly knowing yourself, what makes you tick, what stresses you out, and how these insights can transform your leadership journey.

We’ll look into why self awareness is more than just a buzzword and how understanding your values, strengths, and triggers can make you a better, more resilient leader.

I’ll also share practical tips on how you can start this process today, from simple reflection exercises to seeking feedback, and explain why this is especially important for women in leadership roles.

Re...

In this episode, I’m joined by Kate Mason. We discuss the common dilemma many women face in leadership, feeling like they have to choose between being authoritative or likeable, and how to break free from that false choice to embrace both.

We talk about the importance of managing perfectionism, embracing ambition, and how to communicate confidently, even when faced with self-doubt.

This episode is packed with valuable insights for anyone looking to lead with authenticity and purpose!

Here are the highlights

(01:26) Kate's Career Journey

(03:51) The Concept Behind "Powerfully Li...

In this episode, we’re talking about how women can use influence to get things done and be noticed for it.

Sometimes, we work hard behind the scenes, but others don’t see it.

I’ll share some simple strategies to help you build stronger connections, improve your visibility, and make sure your efforts are recognised.

No more letting others take credit for your ideas!

It’s time to make your influence stand out and get the recognition you deserve.

Here are the highlights

(02:08) Strategies for Influencing and Bein...

Welcome to another episode. Today, I’m thrilled to have Hilary Ross, Managing Partner for DWF in the UK and Ireland, joining me today.

With years of experience at the top of the legal world, Hilary brings incredible insight into what it takes to rise to such a high level, especially as a woman.

In our chat, we explore the power of influence, the grit needed to overcome being overlooked, and the balance between resilience and perfectionism.

Hilary’s candid reflections on navigating career challenges and breaking through the glass ceiling are both insp...