Competency No. 5

Dr. Matt Barney is a true scientist practitioner and an entrepreneur in the field of measurement and analysis. His most recent tool, the TruMind.ai Leader and Coach Assessment, he feels supremely hopeful about, because it helps coaches help their clients see and note their progress, something that's otherwise hard to quantify and measure. 

"Reviews tell us that most coaching outcomes are measured by one metric alone: whether the executive liked the coach," he notes. "That's not enough. We need more ROI." 

In an interview from his Philippines base, we hear of Matt's love for in...

I certified as a Master Certified Coach two weeks ago, ending a two-year long odyssey in mindfulness, active listening, and perfectionistic goal setting. Feels amazing finally reaching that top 4% of ICF certified Master Certified Coaches. 

This week's episode reads from my Substack post on this victory and especially the growth I felt with my comfort with silence. I stayed comfortably silent with my client in the recordings I submitted ICF assessors for over a minute. 

Most of us don't pause for longer than a second in a given conversation (and I was one of them, pr...

Leadership coach Amy Krymkowski fell in love with coaching through her work in HR. After observing a coach in action, she found the approach so spacious and like nothing else. "I was in awe with how much progress and awareness came from listening, silence, and creating space through inquiry," she says. 

She declared coaching as her primary profession, certified, and joined an outplacement firm as a full-time job search coach before founding her own firm: Better Path Coaching, guiding professionals and leaders through career transformations and transitions in holistic ways. From her Milwaukee, Wi. base she's stayed i...

Last Friday, January 16, I heard from the assessors at the International Coaching Federation that I passed their famously difficult and evasive Master Certified Coaching Performance Evaluation. 

I've still the Coach Knowledge Assessment (CKA), a four-hour exam to go, before I get to join the 4% of MCC coaches globally, a rare group of around 2,240 coaches within 56,000 ICF credential-holders worldwide. 

But the hardest part (the performance evaluation) is now behind me.

I was amazed and cried a lot when I read I’d passed and wrote on what's coming up for me on my Substack here...

When Karen Canham struggled with anorexia, her body felt numb. In fact, she couldn't access her body mentally at all, because the eating disorder stemmed from trauma. 

Through therapy and recovery, she came out the other side, learned yoga, how to regulate, and reconnect with her body after years of disconnection. Yoga taught her presence. Breath taught her patience. 

And after years in the corporate world, her new journey began: Teaching others how to move beneath perfectionism and performance and return to themselves; not through hacks. More so daily practices helping us regulate our nervous sy...

In our final episode for 2025, First Year Harvard student Nicholas McCullough shares how he maintained presence, calm, stoicism, and all those great things amidst a pressured first semester at Harvard University as a footballer and Economics student. He and other student athletes averaged 65+ hour weeks. 

In this interview, Nicholas (my oldest son) shares the power of camaraderie with his fellow Harvard athletes (his fellow footballers and other athletes across campus). He shares the importance of managing our time well, choosing quiet places to focus, and managing others' expectations of us when time affluence becomes low. 

An...

A simple daily flow of coaching questions helps me feel happier, but also more focused, ambitious, and committed to my work and life goals. 

My goals typically seem to come true, in part of this vital practice grounded in maintaining presence in the wake of not knowing. And slowing down long enough to see all that's going great, right now, without wanting nor needing to change a thing. 

You can read my Substack post on how and why I pause to applause here. 

Your show host, D G McCullough, is a c...

When customer operations manager Jeanette Bernard lost her husband Matt four years ago, the flippant comments from others on her need to rebound fast upset her as much as the grief. 

“People would say: You’ll be back out there in a couple of months. You’ll be fine,” she recalls of awful comments at her husband’s funeral. “I was so mad. I will never forget Matt. Nor does he want me to.”

Now four years later, and the anniversary of Matt’s death on Thanksgiving week, Jeanette still communicates with her childhood sweetheart in her own specia...

Chapter 5 of the Harvard Mum essay project documents the truer reality of Harvard life now 2.5 months have passed, the pressure has raised, and athletes and scholars (like my son) must juggle robust commitments to their sport and studies. 

There's also the inevitable pressure of being an eighteen-nineteen year-old student, often far from home, and admitted into the world's most revered university. 

Read from my essay on Substack. 

Your show host, D G McCullough, is a communications coach for Fortune 100 leaders, a former reporter for the Guardian, the Economist, and the FT of London. Fin...

The holidays can stretch too many of us bringing heightened stress and surface-level conversations, even with those we love. Paris, France-based Coach Marie-Louise Pereira knows how to bring coaching skills and Competency No 5 (maintaining presence) into our daily flow and to our relationships with those we love. 

In a lovely conversation with a dear friend and peer coach, we unpack how we use our active listening skills and clear boundary setting (and even our ability to say 'no' vs 'yes' to things that drain us) to stay calm, even amidst the holidays. 

If you find th...

It's the annual review season and the final quarterly review for those on the quarterly system. I hear rumblings from many I coach who feel stretched too thin, burdened with too many projects, and exposed to failure more than they'd like. If the task becomes writing on our work, all that went well, and how things emerged as we'd hoped, ought we also address what flopped? 

I say: Yes. We ought to. Failure opens up great storytelling opportunities and if you're working 330+ days in a year, perfection's impossible. But how to feel better about the bleak or i...

My Master Certified Coaching submission is finally in with the International Coaching Federation! I await my ICF assessors’ feedback on whether I pass or fail. My musings on active listening and masterful coaching since I hit “submit” this past Monday, including final indecisiveness, a solar eclipse across my birthplace in New Zealand, and a stunning reminder from the late Dr. James R Doty, an esteemed neurosurgeon, on what active listening really means, and feels like, for the receiver.  (And why we all ought to strive, therefore, to listen to the very best of our capabilities as our generous and uplifti...

I’m one week shy of finalizing my MCC application process, which began with the launch of this podcast in July 7, 2023. 

This week’s episode is documentary style. No music. Just raw footage, of me documenting the many final steps, big decisions, the over thinking,  and the huge importance of staying present when working in a state of not knowing.

Thanks to my many peer coaches, my clients, and friends and family who’ve supported me in this journey, which has changed how I feel about myself and how I communicate forever. 

Your show host...

Pharmaceutical executive Jill Staudacher took things harder than she thought when her middle son Dean moved out of home and seven hours away for his studies and baseball.

 I’ve struggled moving my oldest son Nicholas into his dorm last week at Harvard University—now living 1070 miles from his Wisconsin base.

The college transition can challenge parents—and the teens who move away. Exact data’s scarce; but we know 16% of 18.4 million undergraduate students in the U.S. live in some form of campus housing, and many of those are far from home.

In this e...

When Fortune 500 Chief Technology Advisor Suhail Syed learns that clients are upset, the instinct is to jump in and solve. That’s what often feels right. Something’s broken; so fix it. But as someone intent on staying calm amidst crisis, Syed finds that asking questions and listening well works best. 

“It’s amazing what unfolds,” he muses. “Clients feel listened to. They get to vent. And from that more peaceful, trusting state, we problem solve together.”

This delightful conversation with Suhail reminds and affirms for me the power of active listening in business and how much listen...

The Harvard Mum essay project is my documentary essay series on immigrant motherhood, immigrant dreams, leadership, and all the deep lessons on staying calm and present as my oldest son joins the Harvard University class of 2029 this fall. He’s one of 3% of applicants to gain admittance and only one of a few Wisconsinites to do so.

My Chapter 2 essay, the high school graduation, revealed the vast numbers: 3.9 million high school graduates graduated from high school as the Class of 2025. Most American families celebrate in some way their teen’s achievement — and resources pending, with m...

If you've ever had your hands in clay, you know: The experience can connect you to a deeper part of yourself--as it does with any art medium. Art unlocks. It connects us to our body. And the flow state helps us detach from our fears and a want to control, because art is so uncontrollable. 

I spoke with Santa Cruz, calif.-based artist and coach Tess Mascari amidst her own flow state building stunning ceramic pots in shapes of Tibetan men, all in states of bliss. She calls them her spirit vessels and in an upcoming workshop s...

The International Coaching Federation’s Competency 8 asks its certified coaches to work with clients in ways that great leaders do with their team:  consider possibilities, create action plans, and explore learning. It also requires developing measurable achievements. 

In a new coaching session with MCC Coach Ben Dooley, we review a strong— perhaps an excellent contender for my second recording submission to the ICF for my MCC certification. It seems strong to me—and to Coach Ben— but without time-stamped requests for specific action steps at the end. Does this eliminate me and make this recording? I’m still not su...

This month, the U.S. reaches historic milestones in some lovely and not so lovely ways. In my world, June 2025 brings joy and hope to 3.9 million high school graduates. Class of 2025 becomes the largest and most diverse class in history, experts say, and with historically high competition for college placement, too. My son, Nicholas, and his friends joined those millions this past Sunday at Muskego High School here in Wisconsin.

What the media skips over is the deep emotions and new perspectives graduation brings for students and parents, especially those emerging from more egalitarian cultures like New...

“The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination.” Albert Einstein, our beloved German-born physicist and mathematician, owns the delightful quote. And I find it especially timely when I’m mid-build of something big, new, risky, but beautiful. 

I find when I’m imagining what’s truly possible, I love to collaborate with my inner circle (new and old). I also love to isolate. This feels intelligent (or at least sensible) to me. Imagining is where the magic is. We can always curtail our hopes once we see how things land.

Once the build begins and...

In 2025, the ICF estimates 109,200 ICF certified coaches exist worldwide, an unprecedented milestone exceeding the 100,000 mark. Most recent 2023 data has MCC coaches at 2,203. So reasonable to expect, it’s still under 3,000. 

How high am I with this long climb and summit of certifying with the International Coaching Federation as a master certified coach, an honor the international non-profit, the largest for coaches globally, bestows to only 4% of its coaches globally. 

Well. I need to secure my second recording having secured one clear winner. And whilst I see the summit, I’m not quite there yet.  

I LOV...

Harvard University received 53,700 applications for this incoming class of 2029. Of those, 1,950 were admitted, a 3.63% acceptance rate. My oldest of two sons, Nicholas McCullough, is one of them. He’ll play defensive tackle for the Harvard University football team, who recruited him, and he’ll study economics.

As mother’s day weekend approaches, my last with him under our roof, I’m feeling what any Harvard parent might feel: Pride. Euphoria. Excitement. Awe. 

The deeper feelings, impending heartbreak of him moving away from our Wisconsin base to Boston, I’m processing—and managing, in part through honoring Comp...

“The summit is what drives us; but the climb itself is what matters”

The delightful quote comes from Conrad Anker, the American rock climber, activist, author and mountaineer who climbed Mount Everest three times. Anker, known for his visionary approach towards hardship, also tackled challenging routes across the Americas, Antarctica, and the Himalayas.

I’ve thought of Anker’s views on the journey of learning often whilst securing my final goal of MCC certification: Finding a second viable coaching recording to submit to my ICF evaluators.

In this week’s episode I’m airing (with...

For Anna Damsma, maintaining presence was not much on her radar when working as a consultant. Work was more about pouring in excellent advice and building profits. 

But when later training to become a coach with the prestigious Co-active Coach Training Institute, Anna, based in the Amsterdam area, discovered three levels of listening existed. And level three listening—a universal level of listening which requires listening on a deeper, more full-sensory level,  brought her extreme presence. “This felt so wonderful,” she recalls. “I’ve been hooked  ever since.” 

In our delightful conversation on how we both define and...

I’ve not mused about my certification efforts with the International Coaching Federation as a master certified coach for a good while. Much has happened, and not happened since my January update. Here’s where we’re at.

To certify as an MCC coach, coaches must submit for thorough evaluation two recorded coaching calls of at least 25 minutes in length. These conversations must resemble pure coaching, not a smidgen of consulting nor therapy, and at a level of coaching the ICF, the world’s largest non profit organization for coaches, deems as “exceptional” even “beautiful coaching.”

If you’ve been...

Amidst world chaos, uncertainty, and a lunar eclipse, I felt a guided meditation from my Wisconsin prairie would make a nice gift for my dear listeners this week. 

Thank you to Dotun Ayeni for the lovely edits and to Positive Intelligence, CEO Shirzad Chamine for the meditation. 

Reach out to me, your show host, for keynote speaking engagements, coaching, and training via my website, or find me also on Linkedin. Join my first workshop on Maven Learning, Listen Like a Boss, here. 

We’ve a rare treat this week in sharing a coaching call in its entirety, with my client’s blessing and encouragement. The topic? Staying calm and grounded as we grow our business and dreams—a timely topic for entrepreneurs and anyone wanting to create positive life and career change. This often starts within ourselves, our relationship with time, and looking (with blameless discernment) at the flow of our day. 

Marie-Louise and I wanted to share this conversation for the rich learnings—and there are many, as she’s so inspired and empowered in this call. Also, with the gr...

Experts at the World Health Organization estimate around 4% of the global population experience an anxiety disorder. The National Alliance on Mental Illness finds anxiety the most common mental health concern in the U.S. with 19.1% with anxiety, over 40 million adults. 

Victoria Torno, based in the Philippines, decided a fresh approach to her own anxiety. (Anxiety affects 12.5 million Filipinos, around 12% of the population.) Her anxiety grew gradually and ultimately culminated into panic attacks and hospital visits to cope. She found, after therapy, her own hyper achieving mind was part of what drove her responses. And rather than minimizing t...

San Diego based technology project leader Limei Wang loved the Lunar New Years from her past. Growing up in a small rural village in Northern China, the incoming lunar year brought the best food, clothing, and gatherings for the year. 

Little sleep punctuated the festivities, which lasted all week. Children received beautifully, hand-stitched clothing made just for them and red envelopes of money. They could spend it however they wanted. But in the generous spirit of Lunar New Year, Limei remembers children buying things for each other.

In our ad hoc interview, Limei remembers the c...

Over the last year, I’ve listened to 35 different coaching calls I’ve conducted and recorded with a quest to submit one recording (a beautiful recording) to the International Coaching Federation (ICF). I’ve created a self-imposed deadline of Lunar New Year, January 29, Wednesday. (I know my critical mind. With no deadline, my Avoider and Stickler saboteurs will prevail.) 

If you’ve followed this podcast and mused with me on Medium, you’ll know what this is about: I’m attempting to join the top 4% of coaches globally to certify as a Master Certified Coach. Evaluators at the ICF, the...

Our Competency No 5 podcast has focused much on how to stay calm and present when we coach, lead, and live our lives. For coaches, part of that calm ties to making a living from our coaching, which requires marketing ourselves to our prospective clients.

I’m no expert; but I have built a prosperous coaching business in a relatively short time from putting one piece of fresh content “out there” once a week. Through podcasting and writing essays and instructional guides or musings to help democratize communications coaching, bringing the wisdom learned to as many as possible, I’ve r...

I muse and mentor some more with MCC Coach Ben Dooley this week, getting deeper into the nitty-gritty on how to lock in, stay fully present with our coachee. We address the inevitable blunder of speaking over—so hard not to in a 45-minute session, ways to rebound earlier, and wonder: how much does this matter?

We also tackle an age-old adage almost every coach in training hears as they master active listening: WAIT (why am I talking?). Coach Ben finds this acronym can make us even more self-judgmental. (He urges us to focus more on whom am...

How to choose which recorded coaching call to submit to the International Coaching Federation to certify at the Master Certified level still perplexes me. And after all this excellent mentoring, I’m feeling more conscious of where I’m falling out of mastery as I coach. Does any perfect coaching call exist? And assuming not, how much margin of error does the ICF allow? 

These questions I posed to MCC Coach Ben Dooley, my mentor coach, this week. I’m feeling clearer and clearer and even more inspired.

Reach out to me, your show host, for key...

Pharma sales executive, Jill Staudacher, appreciates the value of pharmaceutical medicines. She also finds value in natural medicine, especially now as we approach cold and flu season here in North America. (Echinacea, honey, vitamin d and vitamin C can boost our immunity really well.)

In our lovely interview, we hear of homeopathic remedies and foods which can help boost our immunity and calm us down, even amidst Q4–a stressful time for many. We also swap notes (as fellow Wisconsinites and working mothers) on how to find our calm and bliss amidst Thanksgiving season, a celebration focused on...

I’ve often bristled with the International Coaching Federation’s rule to establish (clearly—and in multiple ways) the topic and hopes for the coachee (our client) in every coaching call. Why? Because when you’re locked in and connected, the coaching conversation (in the real world vs. the ICF world) unfolds. Even asking the coachee to establish the topic or confirm it can feel prosaic, inserted, or forced, especially as we’ve already been talking about it. But without that established topic, the ICF gets antsy and will likely fail any recorded submission of our coaching without it.

I...

About 900,000 Americans retired in the first five months of 2024, part of a “silver tsunami” of those reaching retirement age. My father-in-law Nick McCullough is one who retired a few years back, and in beautiful ways returning to the land just outside of Ruth Mississippi where he grew up. The cotton farm of his youth is now his retirement land where he lives with his Cajun wife, Crystall, my American Mum. After years of running his own auto repair workshop outside of New Orleans, Louisiana, he’s done with work, for now.

In our touching interview, Nick (who’s hard o...

Part two in a two-part series on maintaining presence when certifying as a Master Certified Coach, especially whilst the International Coaching Federation evaluates us.

Reach out to me, your show host, for keynote speaking engagements, group coaching, and training via my website, or find me also on Linkedin.  Reach out to MCC Coach Ben Dooley via his website, here. 

To certify with the International Coaching Federation, the world’s largest nonprofit organization, coaches must submit a recording of a coaching call they deem…well, worthy of certification. The stakes and expense (and the agonizing decision on which recording to submit) goes up with our credentials. 

The fee to submit a recording for the Master Coaching Certification? Between $675 to $825 US. And the expense of mentoring with a mentor coach, who can review your coaching skills, adds up too. Of course, you’ve the time expense as well — coaching and then analyzing which of your calls might best adhere to...

Air Force contract specialist Kyana Gayden finds that it’s the small tweaks in how we spend our time that yields the biggest results when it comes to work-life balance. She also marvels in that fabulous invention: Paid Time Off, which she never had as a graduate student, and does something fun—and spontaneous—when not working hard. “It makes a difference,” she finds, “and you feel more gratitude for your job, too.”

Warning: This episode's super ad hoc. This week, I met my new mentor coach, Ben Dooley. He's a former actor (among other things) and now runs his own coaching training academy and helps coaches certify in empowering ways. (I felt so inspired connecting with him via our Discovery session, I had to hit record.) 

In our conversation, we hear from Ben on his first failings as a certifying MCC coach, the blockers many of us striving for that master certification face, and how to navigate the entire process when (like me) you struggle following rules and/or a...