Sex Talks With Emma-Louise Boynton

On this week’s episode of the podcast we wanted to talk about love, specifically how we move away from our societal obsession with romantic love and instead cultivate a more expansive, inclusive notion of love. One that releases us from the pressure to find “the one” and instead encourages us to find the romance in our platonic relationships.

According to Pew Research, one in four people will now remain single for their adult lives; the number of people getting married has fallen significantly (in the US have decreased by 60% since the 1970s and 90% of the world's popula...

On this week’s episode of the podcast, I’m joined by the wonderful Anna Mather. 

She’s a psychotherapist, bestselling author and someone intent upon taking therapy out of the therapy room and into the real world, offering therapeutic insights via her instagram, online courses and in-person events and also through her podcast The Therapy Edit.

She joins me today to discuss her brand new book: The Uncomfortable Truth, which tackles head on the ten unavoidable truths that sit at the heart of so many of our most common fears. 

From learning to face...

Cindy Gallop is the founder of Make Love Not Porn, a platform for people to post real-world sex videos. It’s not porn, she says, it’s social sex.

Now, she’s on a mission to raise $1 million in crowd funding in oder to build a sex education academy that will operate alongside her Make Love Not Porn.

Set to launch later this year, the Academy will will cover a broad range of topics, including masturbation, LGBTQ+ sex and relationships, first-time sex, menopausal sex, period sex, disability sex and erectile dysfunction. Users will have access to a v...

*Trigger warning* we discuss issues around sexual violence, rape and assault in this episode, so please take care while listening. As always, I’ve put resources in the show notes for anyone who has been affected by the topics discussed. 

In this live recording of the Sex Talks podcast I wanted to address a question that has been on my mind a lot of late: why do men hate women? 

It is provocative, I know, and intentionally so. But amidst the seemingly relentless series of news stories about male violence, It is a ques...

On this week’s live recording of the podcast, Emma-Louise was joined by journalist, presenter, podcaster and author, Josh Smith to discuss his brand new book: Great Chat.

The importance of communication is something we talk about ALL the time at Sex Talks, not least because - as we know - it's the key to great sex and deeper intimacy. 

So when Josh published a book all about the art of great conversation we knew we had to sit down with him and extract all his tips and insights. 

As a celebrity interviewer, Josh...

On this week's episode of the podcast, Emma-Louise was joined by OG creator, author and body positivity advocate, Megan Jayne Crabbe.

Together they discuss the impact of our restrictive body image ideals, growing up with an eating disorder, how body image issues affect our relationship to sex and pleasure, the power of the body positivity movement and what it means to finally come home to your body.

As Megan said on the podcast: "You don't have to love your body. You don't have to think your body's wonderful. You don't even have to think, yeah...

On this week’s episode of the podcast Emma-Louise is joined by Nicole Vignola - a neuroscientist and brain performance coach who specialises in making neuroscience tangible for the masses.

She is also an author, having recently published her debut book, Rewire, designed to give you the mental toolkit you need to break negative cycles and achieve peak mental wellbeing.

Nicole joined Emma-Louise on the podcast to talk all things sex, dating and relationships through the prism of brain science which really was as fascinating as it sounds. 

From explaining why we go for...

On today’s episode Emma-Louise is joined by a truly incredible woman: Lucia Osborne Crowley. 

She’s a Journalist, reporter and the author of three books including ‘The Lasting Harm: Witnessing the trial of Ghislane Maxwell’, which they discuss in length during this episode. It was one of the best books we read this year, FYI.

Her prior two books, I Choose Elena (2019) and My Body Keeps Your Secrets (2021) both explored the myriad ways in which trauma affects the body.

Prior to becoming a journalist, Lucia trained as a lawyer and worked as a paralegal...

In this episode, Emma-Louise sits down with journalist and author, Olivia Petter, to discuss Petter's debut book of fiction, Gold Rush. 

The book covers so many vital and indeed urgent themes surrounding sexual abuse, trauma and the toxicity of celebrity culture, all of which they delve into during what is a totally fascinating interview. 

“We give celebrities a power they don’t deserve," Petter writes, "a Power they haven’t earned. What happens when they exploit it?”

You can purchase tickets to the next live event here.

And subscribe to the Sex...

In the second solo Sex Talks pod Emma-Louise delves into the topic of last week's newsletter: new research on the orgasm gap, what it reveals about our broken sex culture, and, importantly, how we fix it.

Touching on the work of sex educator and author, Emily Nagoski, Emma discusses how we can re-write our sexual script in order to foster a better, individual relationship to sex, and why this is so important in improving our overall sexual landscape.

You can subscribe to the Sex Talks newsletter here and keep up-to-date on forthcoming events here.

In the second solo Sex Talks pod Emma-Louise delves into the topic of last week's newsletter: new research on the orgasm gap, what it reveals about our broken sex culture, and, importantly, how we fix it.

Touching on the work of sex educator and author, Emily Nagoski, Emma discusses how we can re-write our sexual script in order to foster a better, individual relationship to sex, and why this is so important in improving our overall sexual landscape.

You can subscribe to the Sex Talks newsletter here and keep up-to-date on forthcoming events here.

Sofie Hagen is a multi award winning, queer, non-binary comedian, author and podcaster.

Their debut book was called Happy Fat: Taking Up Space in a World That Wants to Shrink You and they have just published their second book ‘Will I Ever have Sex Again.’ In it, they examine our broader sexual landscape in an attempt to understand why they haven’t had sex in some 3000 days and counting.

Sofie joins Emma to discuss everything they’ve learned from over nine years of (involuntary) celibacy, what it’s taught them about their own body, boundaries, and queern...

In this solo episode of the Sex Talks podcast, Emma discusses three main topics: her experience watching a play called 'After Sex' and the dating lessons it reminded her of; her brand new mantra 'the grass is greenest where you water it' and how we can apply it to both work and relationships; and, finally, the negative effects of comparison culture, particularly in relation to sex.

The final Sex Talks Live podcast recording of the summer will take place on July 30th at The London Edition. You can purchase tickets here.

We're on a podcast break this week so we're reposting one of our fave old episodes featuring author, Natasha Lunn, discussing her bestselling book 'Conversations on Love'.

We hope you enjoy this as much as we did.

Our usual Thursday podcasting schedule will resume next week and the final Sex Talks Live podcast recording of the summer will take place on July 30th at The London Edition. You can purchase tickets here.

In this episode, Emma sits down with multi-award-winning journalist, TikTok creator and author of Losing It: Sex Education for the 21st Century, Sophia Smith Galer.

Together, they delve into the many sex myths Sophia tackles in her book; what Sophia refers to as the ‘sex misinformation crisis’ we’re currently facing; what initially drew her to explore this topic-area within her reporting; the challenges she and other journalists face in getting editors to take this subject matter seriously, and how we can all have a better relationship to sex overall.

It’s an episode jam-packed with fas...

In this episode of the Sex Talks podcast, Emma is joined be Regena Thomashauer, otherwise known as ‘Mama Gena’.

She is a teacher, best-selling author, mother and founder and CEO of the New York-based School of Womanly Arts where she teaches women how to get (re)connected to their bodies and to their sensuality. “For as long as women are disconnected from their pussy they are disconnected from their power,” she tells us.

Her book ‘Pussy: A Reclamation’, has been recommended to the team so many times we had to have her on the podcast to find out...

On this week’s live recording of the podcast Emma’s joined by the founder of The Stack World, Sharmadean Reid, ahead of the publication of her new book, New Methods for Women.

True to form, this book is the culmination of everything Sharmadean’s learned from over 10 years of healing and self-development work, laying out her tried and tested approaches to dealing with all of the most important things in life. From setting boundaries to defining what you want in life, to questioning and rewriting the stories you tell yourself about yourself, it is rich with insigh...

On this week’s episode we’re talking about men. Specifically, masculinity, male sexuality and the myths surrounding it.

To that end, Emma was joined by Men’s Dating, Relationship & Intimacy Coach, David Chambers, and the Director of Facilitation at Beyond Equality, an organisation that is rethinking masculinity and engaging men and boys in the gender equality conversation, Ben Hurst.

From the impact of Andrew Tate and why his messaging has become so insidious, to the ways in which hit tv show, Baby Reindeer, highlighted how men often feel unable to talk about sexual abuse and har...

On this episode of the podcast, Emma sits down with porn performer, director, editor and producer, Vex Ashley, to find out how she went from cam-girl to running her own independent porn platform, and why she considers sex such an interesting and important topic for us to discuss.

After rejecting being demoted to ‘muse’ while at art school and then getting naked online as a cam girl, Vex started up the independent porn platform called Four Chambers back in 2013 in order to expand the idea of what sex on film could do, be and say.

The...

So we’ve all heard of attachment styles right? 

Attachment theory tells us that the emotional attachments we form with our primary caregivers in infancy can influence our interpersonal relationships later in life.

Whether we’re anxious, secure, avoidant or disorganised, our attachment style can have a pretty big impact on how we show up in our romantic relationships. 

Since attachment styles have of late been getting a lot of airtime on social media and we wanted to understand more about the science behind the theory and delve a little deeper into the resear...

In this episode, Emma sits down with writer and author, Elise Loehnen, to discuss her best-selling new book, On Our Best Behaviour: The Price Women Pay to be Good.

Together they unpack the web of myths and cultural expectations that prop up patriarchy and keep women chasing an ideal of perfection that is neither achievable nor really desirable.

"Women," Loehnen explains, "'have been trained for goodness. Men, meanwhile, have been trained for power.'

Elise is the former chief content officer of Gwyneth Paltrow’s company Goop, where she oversaw its blog, newsletter, book impri...

For this live recording of the podcast, which took place at the London Edition hotel, Emma sits down with broadcaster, writer and campaigner, Anna Whitehouse, otherwise known as Mother Pukka.

Anna is the Sunday Times best-selling author of Parenting the Sh*t out of Life, Where’s My Happy Ending? and Underbelly and in 2015 she started the platform Mother Pukka to share the trials and tribulations of parenthood and beyond. She also hosts the podcast Dirty Mother Pukka with her best friend Polly.

In this episode, Anna speaks candidly about finding love again after her recen...

What does the number of hours women spend doing housework have to do with the orgasm gap?!

According to bestselling author and the founder of the Everyday sexism campaign, Laura Bates, a lot.

In this episode, Emma sits down with Laura to discuss the systemic ways in which gender inequality remains entrenched in our society - from the social pressure on women to deprioritise their pleasure, to the routinisation of casual sexism, to the rise of extremist, misogynistic ideologies.

But it is not all doom and gloom, they end the discussion looking at...

In this episode, Emma sits down with award-winning comedian and best-selling author, Sara Pascoe, to discuss the topic of her recent book, 'Sex, Power, Money'.

Together they explore how capitalism shows up in the bedroom, how money shapes modern day relationship dynamics... and why some women still want men to buy them dinner; why there remains so much stigma around those who work in the sex industry and why Sara is still is still afraid of men.

Did writing the book help her overcome her own sexism towards men? Listen to find out.

...

*TW: This episode discusses eating disorders and sexual assault.*

"If your experience of pleasure happens in your body, but you're in a body that you hate.... how are you supposed to access pleasure? You have to pick whether you're going to punish your body forever or if you're going to forgive it."

In this episode of the podcast, Emma is joined by her (former) sex therapist, Aleks Trkulija, to chat through some of the key issues they covered in the therapy room, including:

Are you dating with a scarcity mindset?

Do you end up chasing people who just aren’t that interested in you?

Are you staying in a relationship, whether platonic or romantic, that doesn’t make you happy, just because you don’t believe there is anything, anyone better out there?

You can change that. You can cultivate a new mindset - one that will help you find and build the relationships you truly want in your life.

2024 is the year to stop settling and in this episode, Emma-Louise is joined by manife...

In this episode, Emma-Louise is joined by evolutionary anthropologist, Dr Anna Machin, to discuss the topic of love - why we love, how we love, what's happening in our brains and in our bodies when we fall in love....

If you've ever felt like you're going a little crazy when in the early stages of romance, Dr Machin explains why. In a similar vein, she also breaks down some of the most enduring cultural myths surrounding love and romance, outlining why we get this topic so very wrong. The idea of 'the one'? Bullsh*t. But there...

Paul Brunson is one of the world's most influential matchmakers, according to the Matchmaking Institute. He is also the co-host of Married At First UK and Celebs Go Dating UK, and author of 'It’s Complicated (But It Doesn’t Have to Be): A Modern Guide to Finding and Keeping Love.

In this episode, Paul answers the Sex Talk's community's sex, love and dating questions live at The London Edition.

Whether you're in a relationship, looking for a partner or happily single, Paul will give you a new perspective with which to view love and your...

Recognised as one of the “world’s most influential matchmakers” by the Matchmaking Institute and described as "much more than a matchmaker" by Oprah Winfrey, Paul Brunson is the person to whom you wish you could turn for advice on all things sex, love and dating.

Lucky for us, while Paul has of late been busy flexing his relationship expertise as co-host of the latest season of Married at First Sight UK (he has previously co-hosted the UK's Celebs Go Dating and hosted 'Lovetown' on the Oprah Winfrey Network in 2012), he'll be ascending the Sex Talks stage this N...

Paul Brunson is one of the world's most influential matchmakers, according to the Matchmaking Institute. He is also the co-host of Married At First UK and Celebs Go Dating UK, and author of 'It’s Complicated (But It Doesn’t Have to Be): A Modern Guide to Finding and Keeping Love.

In this episode, Paul explains where so many of us are going wrong in our search for love, and what we can do about it. From changing how we date and who we typically go for, to learning how to argue well, communicate effectively and set prop...

In 2015, bestselling author and podcaster, Jon Ronson, published 'You've Been Publicly Shamed', a book exploring how social media changed the way we shame people publicly, while fostering a culture of 'casual cruelty' in which we were all too happy to participate.

In this episode, Emma sits down with Jon to discuss how this phenomenon of public shaming has evolved in the 8 years that have passed since the publication of the book, and what Jon makes of our present day public discourse.

Invariably, the conversation veers down fascinating rabbit holes as Jon explains how he continues...

The fourth and final season of Sex Education is out now, and while we’re already mourning the fact that Otis and Eric won’t be returning to our tv screens (at least not together), the show’s finale gave us all the feels. 

In the most recent live recording of the Sex Talks podcast, Emma was joined by Sex Education’s creator, Laurie Nunn, to discuss the making of our fave tv show (listen to part 1 for this interview).

In part 2 of this recording, Emma and Laurie are joined by Emma’s sex therapist, Aleks, to c...

The fourth and final season of Sex Education is out now, and while we’re already mourning the fact that Otis and Eric won’t be returning to our tv screens (at least not together), the show’s finale gave us all the feels. 

In the most recent live recording of the Sex Talks podcast, Emma was joined by Sex Education’s creator, Laurie Nunn, to discuss the making of our fave tv show: how the idea for the Sex Education initially came about; what went down in the writers room from season to season; and why it took t...

The Knude Society, aka the female-led sexual pleasure company on a mission to help you enjoy your body, in whatever way feels right for you. 

You know I’m a big advocate for self-pleasure because I really believe there is nothing more empowering than getting to know your own body - what feels good for you, what you like, and of course what you don’t. 

The Knude Society has designed two vibrators, as well as a water-based lube, that can help you do exactly that. 

I recently tried their Lennon vibrator, which bends i...

Ruby Rare is a sex educator, writer, author and now tv presenter having recently made her TV debut as Rylan Clark’s “sexy sidekick” on E4’s brand new show, Sex Rated. 

Here she joins Emma-Louise to discuss the sex advice she’s been offering up on screen, how porn formed the foundation-stone of her sex education and why she’s moving away from a focus on orgasms to a focus on sensuality during sex instead.

If you want to join the Sex Talks crew, sign up to Emma-Louise’s substack ‘Swipe Right’ here. And if you'd like to jo...

Am I normal? That is the question sex therapist, Kate Moyle, says she gets asked most frequently in the therapy room. That and, ‘am I broken?’. In her debut book, “The Science Of Sex” Kate sets out to answer all of our most pressing sex and relationship questions and to reassure us that yes we are normal and no we are not broken.

By reframing commonly held assumptions about sex and confronting the many myths and taboos that still surround it, Kate is determined to move us away from a shame-based approach to sex, to one focused instead...

This episode was sponsored by dating app, Feeld. Download Feeld using the exclusive download code: feeld.co/sextalks.

The economy may be f*cked, the cost-of-living-crisis all too real, the current state of politics cause for despair... but that doesn't mean we can't laugh through our tears and find humour in the madness of it all. And what better way to do just that than with a frank discussion on sex, love, and the trials and tribulations of modern dating with a panel of speakers who are literally paid to make us laugh....?

For th...

In this episode we're putting a quick pause on agony aunting your questions and instead turning to sex tech founder, Anna Lee, for a deep dive into how she's deepening our understanding of female orgasms with the world's first smart vibrator, the Lioness, which allows users to track their orgasms using biofeedback data.

'Why would I want to track my orgasms?' you may be wondering.

Well, for far too long sex science has focused almost exclusively on the male anatomy, while overlooking the intricacies and specificities of female sexual function and pleasure. This dearth...

In this episode, Emma sits down with the Internet's reigning sex and relationships agony aunt, Oloni.

She's a writer, a podcaster, the originator of the 'Girls lets have some fun' Twitter thread and, most recently, the author of 'The Big O'.

Here they chat through how to overcome sexual shame; learning to embrace your sexuality in whatever way works for you; the importance of sexual pleasure and a whole tonne more.

As ever, Oloni and Emma tackle several of your brilliant agony aunt questions.

If you want to send your own...