Turns Out I'm Into It!
Turns Out I’m Into It is your backstage pass to the world of kink—where curiosity is queen, shame is stripped away, and nothing is off-limits. Hosted by somatic sexologist Harley Rabbit, this podcast delves into the psychology of desire, exploring how BDSM, power dynamics, and play can unlock self-discovery, intimacy, and even healing.From abduction fantasies to shibari, age play to non-monogamy, Harley serves up candid personal stories and juicy interviews with kink experts from around the globe. Whether you're a seasoned kinkster, a wide-eyed newbie, or just here for the naughty stories, this show will indulge your imag...
#97: Who Are the Kink Police and How Do You Avoid Them?
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Ever met someone in the kink scene who acts like they invented BDSM? Yeah… those are the kink police. 🙄 In this episode, I’m breaking down elitism, rope snobbery, and why anyone telling you there’s a “right” way to do kink is full of it.
We’ll talk about:
Why your kinky journey is 100% your ownThe difference between confidence and egoHow to spot predators who isolate newbies (major red flag alert!)And why rolling your eyes at gatekeepers is totally validWhether you’re brand new or a seasoned kinkster...
#96: What Music Taught Me About Sex (Plus a Special Request!)
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This week, I’m taking you behind the scenes of my journey — from being a guitar-obsessed, heavy metal teenager to chasing a music career, and eventually finding my way into sexology. On paper, those two worlds couldn’t be more different… but in this episode, I share why they’re deeply connected for me.
I talk about the moments that made music feel like my safe place, the way eroticism reaches the same deep, hidden parts of us, and how both music and sex have taught me about connection, vulnerability, and being trul...
#95: Floggers 101: Design, Technique, and Play with Chainwire
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Ever wondered what makes a great flogger—and how to actually use one?
In this episode of Turns Out I’m Into It, I’m joined by local kink maker Chainwire, the man behind Hurty World’s handcrafted floggers, to explore the artistry, technique, and sensation behind one of kink’s most versatile toys.
We dive into:
The craftsmanship of floggers—from leather selection to balance and weightWhat to look for when buying a floggerTechniques for play: thuddy vs st...#94: Seduced by Fear: Cruciator on the Dark Side of Desire
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Welcome to Turns Out I’m Into It. In this unforgettable episode, I’m joined by special guest Cruciator to explore one of the kink world’s most taboo topics: fear play.
Cruciator has been active in the BDSM community since 1992 and is the owner of Fetlife’s Fear Play group. With decades of experience conducting high-intensity scenes—including multi-day abductions—he brings a grounded, thoughtful approach to a kink that is often misunderstood. He’s also a seasoned educator, offering in-depth online classes on the psychology...
#93: Harley Gets Schooled in Dirty Talk - A Masterclass with Sam Charles
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In this extra juicy episode, I am joined by sex and intimacy coach Sam Charles for a very hands-on dirty talk masterclass. What starts as a playful lesson turns into a real-life demonstration of navigating boundaries, expressing desire, and negotiating a spicy scene in real time.
I open up about my own edges when it comes to using words during sex, and Sam creates a beautifully safe space to explore those vulnerabilities. Together, we co-create a scene that goes from light flirting to full-blown cock worship—sharing authentic erotic energy along th...
#92: My Brisbane Trip – Navigating Nerves, New Experiences, and My Favourite Rope Scene Yet
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In this episode, I’m sharing some honest reflections from my recent trip to Brisbane—where I pushed through some big travel anxiety to have one of my favourite rope scenes yet.
I open up about what it’s like to manage anxiety while trying to do the things you really want to do, and how I’m learning to meet that part of myself with more compassion. I also talk about the rope scene I did with Deadmaxis (who we had on the show on episode #87), and what made it feel so...
#91: The Single Most Important Skill in Kink (That You Can Learn Right Now)
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What if I told you there was one skill that could make you more attractive as a play partner, safer to play with, and help you create hotter, more connected scenes?
In this solo episode, I dive into what I believe is the most important skill in kink: attunement.
We explore:
🔹 What attunement is
🔹 How to attune to yourself and how to attune to others
🔹 Why attunement is crucial for both Doms and subs
🔹 What gets in the way of staying present during play
#90: Behind the Mask – A Deep Dive into Pony Play with Rapidash
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I’ll be honest, I used to think pony play sounded… a little silly. But after discovering Rapidash’s stunning photos and hearing the depth of feeling behind his scenes, I realised there was a whole lot more to this kink I didn’t understand. It's actually incredible!
In this episode of Turns Out I’m Into It, I’m joined by a very special guest: Desmond—also known in the kink world as Rapidash. Desmond is a passionate pony player who generously opens up about his journey, the beauty of pony play, and...
#89: Kink in a Small Town, and Finding my Brave
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In this solo episode, I share a very personal update from my kinky life. I’m four years into a deeply loving dynamic with my Dom, and while I feel supported and safe, I’ve also been feeling stuck. Living in a regional town means fewer opportunities to explore kink in the ways I crave—and that’s pushed me to make some scary (but exciting) decisions about what comes next.
You’ll hear about:
The beautiful and frustrating reality of being a regional kinksterHow my dynamic with Slade is evolving a...Bonus Episode – Age Play Show & Tell (Aftershow Sneak Peek) 🤫
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This week, I’m giving you a special sneak peek into my Aftershow—a members-only video series where I share behind-the-scenes content for those who want to go deeper after the podcast. Normally, this content is exclusive to my SubscribeStar supporters—but today, I wanted to give you a little taste! 💜
In this episode, I’m coming to you from my bedroom for a playful age play show and tell. From Harry Potter pyjamas to unicorn storybooks and pacifiers, I share some of my favourite little items—and how my relationship with age play...
#88: I’m a Grown Man. And I Wear Nappies - Inside ABDL with DaddaG
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In this episode of Turns Out I’m Into It, I’m joined once again by the incredible DaddaG—event organiser behind KangaCon and long-time member of the ABDL community. With over 20 years of experience as both a diaper lover and caregiver, DaddaG brings a deep, compassionate perspective to the world of age play.
We explore:
🔹 Different age play roles – AB, DL, Daddy, and switching
🔹 Consent, boundaries, and what to ask before your first scene
🔹 How to approach a partner about your age play desires
🔹 Emotional connection in caregiver...
#87: The Love Language of Rope — with Deadmaxis and Aura Grey
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In this episode of Turns Out I’m Into It, I’m joined by Deadmaxis and Aura Grey—partners in life, kink, and the art of rope. Known for their stunning suspension performances at events like Hardbeat Byron and Berlin’s Dark Circus, this couple brings over a decade of love and a deep connection to their rope journey.
We explore:
🔹 How they went from a vanilla marriage to exploring kink together
🔹 The emotional and psychological impact of rope in their relationship
🔹 Developing trust through suspension—and what it takes to play...
#86: How Old Do You Feel in the Bedroom?
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What happens when your birthday brings up more than cake and candles?
In this raw and personal episode, Harley opens up about what it’s like to navigate aging as a sexual woman in a culture obsessed with youth. From noticing lines in the mirror to feeling like time is running out for certain fantasies, this episode is a vulnerable look at the internal stories we carry—and how kink can help us rewrite them.
You’ll hear:
Why the sex Harley has now is so much better than w...#85: I’m Not Ashamed to Love Masculine Men
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In this episode, I explore the difference between masculinity and toxic masculinity—and why I’m tired of pretending that being attracted to masculine men is something to be ashamed of.
Inspired by a scene in Beastars (an anime on Netflix), I unpack what it means to celebrate masculine power without excusing harm. We talk about violence, tenderness, emotional maturity, and why the sexiest men are often the ones who could fight—but don’t need to.
From MMA rings to Formula One tracks, this is a heartfelt and primal l...
#84: What Turns You On—and What Turns You Off! Understanding Your Sexual Brakes and Accelerators
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Do you ever feel like your body just isn’t showing up for sex—even when your mind is totally on board? Maybe you want to feel turned on, but nothing’s happening down there. Or maybe you feel ashamed, confused, or frustrated when your desire doesn’t match what your partner (or you!) expect.
In this episode, Harley Rabbit introduces the dual control model, a powerful framework from the world of sexology that could change the way you think about arousal forever.
You’ll learn how...
#83: What If You Could Be Anyone? The Magic of Kink Personas
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Ever felt too self-conscious to fully enjoy sex? Maybe you struggle to switch off from life stress, or you find yourself stuck in your head during intimate moments.
In this episode, Harley Rabbit shares a powerful technique for breaking free from insecurity and fully immersing yourself in pleasure—by stepping into a kink persona.
A kink persona isn’t just roleplay—it’s a way to tap into different aspects of yourself, experiment with new fantasies, and unleash parts of your sexuality you may never have explored before. Whether you're a...
#82: Sub or Bottom? Exploring the Many Flavours of Submission
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When you first explore submission, it’s easy to get caught up in labels and stereotypes—but what if those don’t quite fit? Do you have to love obedience, service, or degradation to be a sub? Or maybe you’re drawn to pain or bondage, but don’t feel like surrendering control?
In this episode, Harley Rabbit helps you untangle your submissive identity, exploring the many ways submission can look. Whether you’re a good sub, brat, masochist, or rope bunny, this episode will guide you in discovering what truly excites you—...
#81: Am I Kinky Enough? Breaking Free from Stereotypes
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Have you ever wondered if you're kinky enough to belong in the kink community? Maybe you feel like you don’t fit the stereotypical Dominant/submissive (D/s) mold or that your desires aren’t “intense” enough to count. In this episode, Harley Rabbit dives into the many ways people explore kink—whether through full-time dynamics, occasional play, private fantasies, or even solo experiences.
Kink doesn’t have to look one way, and there’s no test you need to pass to belong. We'll also explore some of the lesser-known types of kink, such...
#80: Rope Mastery & Mind Games: A Shibari Masterclass – with Miss Gen
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In this episode of Turns Out I’m Into It, I’m joined by the incredible Miss Gen—Shibari educator, performer, and rope sadist. As head of Evil Girls HQ in Brisbane and a Shihan (Master Instructor) in Kazami Ryu Shibari, she has 25+ years of experience training with top rope masters and performing in Japan.
We explore:
🔹 Miss Gen’s journey into rope – From self-tying as a child to discovering her dominant side.
🔹 The psychology of rope play – How en...
#79: How to Play with Gender in BDSM
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Most people don’t realise just how much gender shapes the way we play in BDSM. Whether we’re leaning into traditional roles—like masculine dominance and feminine submission—or subverting them entirely, gender dynamics influence kink in ways we often don’t even notice.
In this episode of Turns Out I’m Into It, we dive into:
🔹 How gender roles show up in BDSM
🔹 Masculine dominance vs. feminine submission – Why it turns us on
🔹 Subverting gender norms – Femdom, feminisation, and sissification in play
🔹 The shadow self & kink – Why...
🔒 Why We All Crave to Be Seen (and Also… Sex Stories)
Subscriber-only episode
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Welcome to the first unfiltered, off-the-cuff episode of the premium podcast! In this one, I dive into a little bit of everything—behind-the-scenes thoughts on podcasting and perfectionism, how Slade and I made the most of a flood, and why feeling truly seen is one of the most powerful things in kink and relationships.
This space is for raw, intimate conversations, and I’d love to hear your thoughts—DM me on Instagram or FetLife and let’s chat. Thank you for being here and for supp...
#78: Religious Shame, BDSM, and the Psychology of Power – With Shelby Devlin
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In this episode of Turns Out I’m Into It, I’m joined by the incredible Shelby Devlin, a sex and intimacy coach with nearly a decade of experience specializing in BDSM and kink. With a master's degree in sexuality studies and a role as an advanced instructor at the Somatica Institute, Shelby brings a wealth of knowledge to our conversation.
We dive into two powerful topics:
🔹 Religious shame & sexuality – How religious conditioning shapes our sexual identities, and how to reclaim pleasure while maintaining faith.
#77: How to Tell Your Partner What You're Really Into... (Even If It Feels Super Scary)
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Sharing your sexual fantasies with a partner can feel incredibly vulnerable... maybe even terrifying! In this episode, Harley Rabbit dives deep into why it’s so hard to open up about our desires and offers practical, no-pressure strategies to help you navigate these conversations with confidence and curiosity. Whether you're hoping to act on your fantasies or simply share them for deeper intimacy, this episode will equip you with the tools to hopefully make it a positive experience!
Discussion Prompts:
What feelings do I want to experience through my...#76: Are my Sexual Fantasies Normal? Here's What Science Says
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Episode Summary:
In this episode of Turns Out I’m Into It, Harley Rabbit dives deep into the fascinating world of sexual fantasies, exploring why so many of us feel shame about them and how science challenges the idea of “normal” fantasies. Harley breaks down a landmark study, “What Exactly Is an Unusual Sexual Fantasy?”, which surveyed over 1,500 people to determine which fantasies are rare, unusual, common, or typical. Along the way, Harley shares personal insights, busts myths about fantasies, and offers practical tips for embracing your desires without shame.
Di...
#75: Santa's Little Helpers: Naughty Sex Toy Secrets Revealed - with Wendy Setless
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It’s time to add a little extra joy to your holiday season! In this special Christmas episode, I’m joined by the fabulous Wendy Setless, a Somatica-trained sexual health, pleasure, and relationship coach, and the resident sexologist at her local adult store.
Wendy brings her infectious enthusiasm and deep knowledge to help us navigate the world of adult toys—from vibrators and strokers to kegel balls and vibrating cock rings. Whether you’re looking to explore solo or spice things up with a partner, Wendy shares practical advice for finding the perf...
#74: My Secret "Cock Worship" Fantasy: How Fantasies Unlock Better Sex
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In this week’s episode, Harley Rabbit takes a deep dive into the world of sexual fantasies and reveals one of her most provocative ones—a cock worship scenario rooted in her submissive desires.
Harley discusses how fantasies can unlock deeper arousal, help you connect with your core desires, and transform your sex life—whether you're indulging solo or with a partner. She explores why fantasising is healthy, how it doesn’t reflect your real-life values, and how to incorporate your imagination into sex without needing an elaborate setup.
Plus, Ha...
#73: 4 Common Beliefs About Women’s Sexuality You’re Probably Getting Wrong
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In this episode of Turns Out I’m Into It, Harley Rabbit takes on some of the most stubborn myths and misconceptions about women’s sexuality. Whether you’re a woman navigating these expectations or a man eager to understand your partner better, this episode is for you.
Harley shares her personal experiences and insights from studying sexology, conversations with clients and friends, and challenges commonly held beliefs that might be holding you back from a more fulfilling sex life.
You’ll hear about:
Why being multi-or...#72: Permission to be Sexy! Lessons from a Burlesque Class
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In this empowering episode, Harley Rabbit dives into the topic of sex positivity and overcoming shame around sexuality. Sharing personal stories, including a formative memory from high school and a transformative recent experience in a burlesque dance class, Harley explores how societal messages shape our views on expressing sexuality. Harley reflects on reclaiming self-confidence and finding permission to be authentically sexy in a world that often discourages it.
Referenced in this episode
Christina Agulara - Genie in a BottleThe Vavoom Room - Burlesque Dance Studio Townsville HarleyRabbit.com – Boo...#71: Overcoming Old Stories - How Kink Helped me get my First Tattoo!
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In this episode, Harley Rabbit opens up about finally getting her first tattoo—a significant milestone that stirred up childhood memories and beliefs. Harley reflects on how her journey into kink and pain play has reshaped her understanding of resilience, pain, and bravery. Sharing stories about childhood fears, needle phobias, and reclaiming agency through kink, Harley discusses how these experiences helped overcome lifelong limiting beliefs.
Tune in for an honest, empowering discussion about using kink as a way to challenge old narratives, embrace your strength, and celebrate your journey. Plus, hear up...
#70: Harley Ruins Your Favorite Love Songs - Teddy Swims, Sia, Bruno Mars
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In this episode, Harley dives into a fun yet insightful analysis of three popular love songs that might make you rethink your playlist: I Lose Control by Teddy Swims, Elastic Heart by Sia, and Grenade by Bruno Mars. Taking on the role of a relationship coach, Harley imagines these song lyrics as if they were clients sitting in a therapy session, sharing their romantic struggles.
Harley explores how these songs, while catchy and romantic on the surface, often glorify toxic behaviors that we’ve come to accept as ‘normal’ in love storie...
#69: How Men Can Start Exploring CNC- Interview with Dotch
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CNC (Consensual Non-Consent) is often discussed from a woman’s perspective, but what about men? In this episode, I’m joined by Dotch, a Somatica® practitioner who once saw CNC as a hard limit but has since learned to enjoy facilitating these fantasies. Dotch shares his journey, from initial discomfort to embracing CNC in a way that feels safer, consensual, and exciting. We discuss the challenges men face, including shame and the fear of crossing boundaries, and offer insights on how to explore CNC responsibly. Tune in for a thoughtful, candid conversation on navig...
#69: Understanding Your Attachment Style
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In this episode, Harley Rabbit delves into attachment theory and its relevance to the kink community. The discussion covers the four main attachment styles: secure, avoidant, anxious, and disorganized, exploring how these styles affect relationships and personal dynamics. Harley emphasizes the importance of understanding these attachment styles to foster self-awareness and compassion, and discusses the potential for developing an earned secure attachment through personal growth and therapy. The episode concludes with an invitation to an upcoming workshop on consensual non-consent play (written by AI).
Mentioned in this Episode
...#68: Romance vs BDSM - Which is More Intimate?
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In this episode, Harley Rabbit delves into the concept of intimacy within the kink and BDSM communities, challenging common misconceptions that equate kink with violence and degradation. Harley emphasizes that true intimacy in kink is built on trust, vulnerability, and open communication. The discussion explores various forms of intimacy that can arise in kink, including the exploration of personal limits and the importance of aftercare. Harley also shares personal experiences that highlight how kink can foster deeper connections and accelerate feelings of intimacy between partners.
If you are interested in...
#67: My Schoolgirl Fantasy - Exploring Middlespace
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I got up to some exciting kinky shenanigans this weekend and I can’t wait to share! Slade and I did our most elaborate roleplay yet, which was a CNC schoolgirl fantasy. This has been a fantasy of mine for a long time, and was also my first time exploring middlespace. In this episode I share the details of the roleplay and what I learned, as well as how it felt to explore a more complicated for of ageplay where I was actually getting to sooth some old wounds using the repetition with ag...
#66: Dipping Your Toe Into BDSM: Ideas for Beginners - with Jeanne Baade
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In this episode, I talk with Jeanne Baade, a sex and relationship coach who discovered her sexuality later in life after growing up in a conservative christian household. Jeanne shares how she first experienced a clitoral orgasm at 48, and her journey into kink and BDSM. We explore simple ways for beginners to dip their toe into BDSM, like using blindfolds, scarves and rope harnesses to build trust and connection with a partner.
Jeanne’s humour and storytelling make this conversation both insightful and engaging, offering relatable advice for anyone curious about ex...
#65: The STI Questions You’re Too Afraid to Ask – With Dr Sara
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In this episode, we’re diving into a topic that might not be the sexiest, but it’s crucial for anyone exploring their sexuality, especially in non-monogamous relationships. I’m joined by Dr. Sara Whitburn, a General Practitioner specialising in sexual health and the Deputy Medical Director at Sexual Health Victoria, to tackle all the awkward questions about STIs.
We’ll be covering what you need to know about common STIs, including what you should be testing for and how often. Dr. Sara answers those burning questions like, “How risky is oral sex w...
#64: Igniting Libido - Bringing Desire Outside of the Bedroom
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One of the most common challenges people experience in their sex life is issues with libido. Whether it's a mismatch with their partner's libido or a sudden drop-off, these issues can be frustrating and confusing. In today's episode, I introduce a controversial exercise called “Keeping Your Pilot Light On.” This exercise focuses on finding ways to comfortably tap into your arousal in your day-to-day life, outside of the bedroom.
We delve into the ethical questions this topic brings up, particularly regarding sexual fantasies and keeping them separate from reality. It's an impo...
#63: Mastering Fetlife Profiles for Men - with Slade (Part 2)
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Get ready for part 2 of our conversation about men’s profiles on Fetlife. If you're a man on Fetlife struggling to represent yourself authentically, these episodes provide invaluable tips and advice on how to do just that.
In today’s episode, Slade shares how he implemented the changes we discussed last week, including doing his first writing, updating and refining his bio, and being more intentional about his photos. Finally, we explore Slade's vision for using Fetlife as a platform to genuinely connect with the kinky community, rather than just another form...
#62: Mastering Fetlife Profiles for Men - with Slade (Part 1)
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Ok guys, if you're on Fetlife and not having much luck with the ladies… How much effort have you really put into your profile? Be honest! In this episode, I'm joined by my Dom and long-term partner, Slade, as we dive into men's profiles. Slade himself is guilty of not keeping his profile updated, and like many men, has a lot more to offer than his current profile showcases. Together, we go through his profile piece by piece, incorporating valuable input from female Fetlife users about the red and green flags they look fo...
#61: The Art and Connection of Rope Bondage - with Ravel
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If you are interested in rope bondage, you need to listen to this episode! Ravel is an experienced rigger from Brisbane Australia, who understands that rope is so much more than just technical skill. With a background in theatre, dance and performing arts, Ravel talks about bringing intention to your rope scenes - that is, knowing what kind of experience and emotions you are wanting to cultivate, before you even touch a rope. Throughout the episode, Ravel offers loads of practical tips and ideas, as well as talks about the subtlety of non-verbal c...
