No More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery
What have you tried so far to quit porn? Accountability buddies, talk therapy, internet filters, church or religious programs, or mindfulness techniques to 'get rid of cravings'… Many of these have merit, but they're often missing key elements for long-lasting sobriety. It isn’t enough to just “stop watching porn”. Porn addiction is a symptom of deeper, underlying challenges that I address using evidence-based psychological and behavioral practices.My mission isn't just to help people overcome porn addiction, but to give them each step to establish a recovery mindset and lifestyle. This is done using hands-on, daily exercises that retrain the brai...
102: Why Sex in Marriage Triggers Porn Cravings (Part 1) | Rewire Your Brain for Healthy, Connected Sex Using Principles of Neuroscience and Faith
Today, we’re diving into a topic that might just feel like the elephant in the room for countless men trying to stay free from porn:
Why does sex in marriage sometimes trigger porn cravings… instead of satisfying them?If you’ve ever thought:
“Shouldn’t sex with my wife help me fight porn cravings—not make them worse?”“Why do I feel guilty, disconnected, or even triggered after marital sex?”“Am I broken—or worse, spiritually condemned—because sex sometimes feels like a relapse?”…I want you to know you are not alone—and you’re definitely not broken.<...
101: Sexual Desire Isn’t Sin | The Conversation Christian Men Are Afraid to Have
A raw, redemptive conversation with Tina Huggins about healing religious sexual shame, restoring trust in marriage, and breaking the real roots of porn addiction.
What if your deepest struggle with porn addiction isn’t about lust—but about unhealed shame?
In this episode of the No More Desire podcast, host Jake Kastleman sits down with Tina Huggins, a restorative family mediator and certified divorce coach who shares insights for porn addiction recovery, religious trauma, and high-conflict relationships. Tina has spent years guiding men and couples—including those from Christian backgrounds—through the real...
100: My Real Rock Bottom—Years After I Got Sober | And How Obsession with Perfection Nearly Ruined My Recovery
We often think of a rock bottom story as the moment someone relapses, destroys their marriage, or hits crisis during active addiction. But what if rock bottom doesn’t come at the start of recovery? What if it shows up years after sobriety, long after you’ve quit porn?
In this raw and deeply personal episode, I share the story of my real rock bottom—a collapse that came after I had overcome porn, but before I had truly healed.
This isn’t just about addiction. It’s about how perfectionism, spiritual bypassing, emotional suppression, and the ne...
99: Self-Inflicted Sexual Trauma of Porn Addiction and Masturbation | Learning to Love Yourself Again So You Can Have a Healthy Sexual Relationship with Your Wife
Do you feel sexually broken from years of porn addiction and compulsive masturbation? Like you've damaged your body, your mind, and your marriage—and there’s no way back?
In this episode of the No More Desire podcast, Jake Kastleman explores the reality of self-inflicted sexual trauma and what it truly takes to overcome porn addiction. You’ll learn how to stop watching porn, confront your shame, and begin the process to stop for good.
We talk honestly about how masturbation addiction rewires your brain, damages intimacy, and leaves men feeling spiritually and emotionally numb. You’ll...
98: Porn and Pixels: The Hidden Link Between Video Games and Porn Addiction
Is your gaming habit quietly fueling your porn addiction? In this episode of No More Desire, Jake Kastleman explores the surprising neurological and psychological overlap between video games and porn use.
Drawing from real neuroscience, addiction psychology, and philosophical insight, this solo episode breaks down why so many men stuck in compulsive porn cycles also spend hours gaming—and how both behaviors reinforce the same addictive pathways in the brain.
You’ll learn:
How dopamine dysregulation links gaming and porn addictionWhy video games reinforce avoidance, escapism, and dissociationHow cross-addiction and habit stacking sabot...97: Why She’s Pissed Off & Turned Off—and How to Fix It | This Masculine Blueprint Is Helping Men End Porn Addiction and Save Their Marriages
If your wife seems pissed off and turned off—constantly irritated, emotionally distant, and disinterested in sex—you’re not alone. For many men, this emotional tension fuels the desire to escape into porn. But what if the real issue isn’t her moods... but your missing leadership?
In this episode, Jake Kastleman is joined by men’s coach and author GS Youngblood to help you fix your relationship, overcome porn addiction, and become the grounded, trusted man your partner longs for.
You’ll learn how GS’s Masculine Blueprint helps men quit porn by reclaiming the...
96: The Subtle Lies That Keep You Relapsing | Exposing the Mental Traps and False Beliefs That Sabotage Porn Addiction Recovery
Why do you keep relapsing with porn—even when you want to quit?
In this episode of the No More Desire addiction recovery podcast, I uncover the hidden mental traps and false beliefs that sabotage your efforts to quit porn and stay sober for good. We’ll dig into the inner critic and inner escapist—two misunderstood parts of your psyche that actually think they’re helping you, but are keeping you stuck in the shame cycle.
You’ll learn how to respond to cravings, urges, and negative self-talk using powerful tools from IFS therapy, somatic he...
95: Addiction, Identity, and the Illusion of Brokenness: Jason Shiers on Childhood Trauma, Secret Shame in Recovery, and What Real Healing Looks Like
In today’s powerful conversation, I welcome psychotherapist and Infinite Recovery Project founder Jason Shiers. Jason shares his deeply personal story of addiction, trauma, and his 20+ year journey through recovery — before a radical spiritual awakening changed everything.
Together, Jason and I dive into:
Why trauma is often the hidden root of addiction.How traditional recovery models pathologize normal human responses.What it really means to heal — beyond symptom management.The transformational power of somatic work, parts work (IFS), and embodied spirituality.How authentic relationships become the ultimate container for healing.Jason also explores how to...
94: From Half a Husband to a Whole Marriage | How to Rebuild Trust After Porn Addiction and Betrayal
Can a marriage truly heal after porn addiction and betrayal trauma? In this powerful episode of The No More Desire Podcast, host Jake Kastleman sits down with Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith—coaches, authors, and a couple who’ve walked the road from addiction and deception to deep connection and true intimacy.
👉 Grab your FREE DOWNLOAD of The 8 Tools to Heal from Porn Addiction & Betrayal Trauma Here.
👉 Grab the Raabsmith's Free Guide: The Honest Connection
In this episode, you’ll hear:
The real impact of porn addiction in marriageHow...
93: The #1 Daily Habit That’s Helping My Clients Quit Porn
Struggling to quit porn, control your cravings, or stay sober long-term?
In this episode, I share one of the most powerful—but often overlooked—tools for porn addiction recovery: gratitude.
Learn how daily gratitude can:
Rewire your brain using neuroplasticityReduce porn cravings by activating your prefrontal cortexReplace the shame cycle with emotional clarity and purposeBuild a lasting recovery mindset based on joy, not just disciplineI also walk you through my personal morning gratitude routine, and how it's helped me stay sober for over 10 years—even during high-s...
92: How One Man Stayed Sober While Alone and in Pain: What His Story Teaches Us About Porn Addiction Recovery
What happens when you're stuck at home, in pain, and totally alone? For most men recovering from porn addiction, that’s the ultimate relapse setup.
But for Steve, a client in my recovery program, this moment of isolation became the most spiritually grounded, mentally focused, and connected time of his life.
In this episode, I share the story of how Steve stayed sober after surgery while his wife and kids were out of the country—how he avoided porn cravings, built emotional resilience, and grew stronger in his relationship with God.
You'll learn:
Ho...91: How to Replace Porn Addiction | Gain Motivation, Reduce Symptoms of Anxiety & Depression, Build Focus & Attention, Beat the Addictive Mindset, and Be the Husband Your Wife Needs
How can you replace porn addiction? The answer is not a mystery. Essentially, it requires you to build the skills of a porn addiction recovery mindset and lifestyle. It also requires consistency.
If recovery were a car, these recovery skills would be the engine, and consistency would be the fuel. You can rewire your brain and stop watching porn using these skills and this consistency.
You may have achieved a week or two of sobriety at some point. Or even a few months. But would you like to make it a year, 5 years, 10 years, and...
90: The Neuroscience of Quitting Porn | Build a New Brain By Changing Habit Patterns, Fixing Dopamine, Altering Nutrition, Transforming Identity, and Finding Deeper Meaning
My conversation today is with George Haymaker. We discuss the neuroscience of quitting porn and other addictions, and how to change habit patterns and rewire your brain.
George is an inspiring man with an incredible story. He’s helped many people heal their brains and change their habits for the better. He is a certified neuroscience coach & consultant, and an impressive entrepreneur with a long history of successful business ventures.
George helps addicts overcome their destructive patterns by teaching them sound practices for step-by-step habit change based on principles of neuroscience.
I believe our c...
89: Recovery Mindset for Vacations | 4 Keys to Stay Sober from Porn During and After Travel
It can be very hard for many men to stay sober from porn on vacations - both during and after. We are thrown out of our structure and norm, and many of us can feel far more impulsive and prone towards porn addiction.
This can seem counterintuitive, as you'd think that vacation and travel would make it easier to stay sober. I talk about why this is not the case for many people, why post-vacation can be a time of serious relapse with porn, and how to guard against these pitfalls and stay clean of porn during t...
88: How Do I Stop My Husband from Watching Porn? | How to Help Your Husband Quit Porn, Heal Yourself, and Break Free From the Lies
When your husband is addicted to porn, you can feel powerless to stop it. You may ask: How do I stop my husband from watching porn? Is there something I can say or do that will convince him? If only I could find the right words, maybe he would finally feel motivated and stop hurting me and our family like this.
Anger and feeling the impulse to control him is normal. Feeling judgmental, hateful, and appalled by his behavior is normal too. You wish you knew what to do, and you can’t help feeling sometimes that it...
87: Self-Control & Porn Addiction | Why Willpower Always Fails & the 3 Pillars to Quit Porn Successfully
There are a lot of voices out there telling you that all you need to quit porn addiction is more discipline. They say you just have to want it bad enough, fight hard enough, and exert enough self-control. But if you’ve ever tried to stop watching porn using willpower alone, you already know—it doesn’t work. In fact, relying on willpower actually fuels porn addiction. Today, I’m going to show you why, and more importantly, what works instead.
Willpower Is a Symptom of Recovery, Not the Cause of It
We are taught that sta...
86: Why Doesn't God Take My Porn Addiction? | Spirituality, Psychology & Praying to Quit Porn
Why doesn’t God take away your porn addiction? People tell you to give your addiction to Christ, and it doesn’t seem to work for you. Why?
I remember how frustrated I used to be by this concept of giving my addiction over to Christ. People advised me to simply surrender to Christ and that was the answer to get sober. But it didn’t work for me. I thought this might be because God didn’t love me, didn’t care, or that I was simply too sinful a person.
I’ve worked with men acros...
85: My Wife Ignores My Progress with Porn Addiction | Navigating Relationship Struggles, Lack of Trust & Betrayal Trauma
Do you feel like your wife is ignoring your progress with porn addiction? That she doesn’t understand how difficult it is for you to quit porn?
Do you feel like you can get sober for a few weeks, or even a few months, but when you relapse with porn it is devastating for her, and you have to start over from square one?
Do you feel like you can’t do anything right in her eyes because of your pornography addiction? That she sees even your best intentions to be loving and kind as selfi...
84: The Science Behind Porn Addiction—and How to Stop | The Truth About Addiction Genetics, and Why You’re Not “Doomed” to Be an Addict Forever | Dr. Evelyn Higgins
Do you believe that you are genetically prone to addiction? What if you could alter these genetics?
Today, I speak with Dr. Evelyn Higgins with Wired for Addiction about the science behind porn addiction, specifically the impact of epigenetics on addiction.
According to Dr. Higgins, we can alter our genetic expression, developing a completely different way of life, and rewiring our brain to overcome porn addiction.
Dr. Evelyn Higgins is an internationally recognized expert in epidemiology of substance use disorders, mental health conditions, and process addictions like social media, video game, and porn add...
83: Prevent Porn Cravings & Relapse Through Emotional Awareness Techniques | Simple Methods to Slow the Mind & Connect with Others
Today, I’m joined by Owen Marcus, an expert in somatic and emotional healing for men across the world. His company is called MELD. He is highly knowledgeable, with 30+ years of experience, and it was a real pleasure speaking with him.
Many of us men struggle to express our emotions. It’s classic! What we may not know, though, is that unprocessed hard emotions can easily evolve into porn cravings and porn relapse.
Anger and shame (the feeling of not being good enough) often drove my cravings for porn. And I hadn’t a clue this w...
82: How to Rewire Your Brain, Quit Porn, and Reclaim Your Life (on The Walk Family Podcast)

I had an excellent conversation with Tony Smith from The Walk Family Podcast - a Christian podcast for parents. It was a huge privilege talking with Tony about the true struggle of pornography addiction in this country and around the world.
As many of you guys know, porn addiction is rampant. This is no longer the 90’s where the internet was new - porn is now recognized as a legitimate addiction across the world.
While it has not yet been officially included in the DSM (the Diagnostic Statistical Manual within the psychology field) I believe that...
81: Christianity and Porn Addiction | How Your Relationship with God May Be Keeping You From Quitting Porn and How to Overcome Religious and Sexual Shame
As a porn addiction recovery coach, I see clients of all backgrounds - religious and irreligious. Christianity and porn addiction often go hand-in-hand in my experience. I know that they did for me.
I love my faith, but the reality is that many Christians carry burdensome shame about their sexuality, and others about their porn habit. This sexual shame is part of what drives their addiction.
Many of us grew up being taught (explicitly or implicitly) that sexuality is dangerous, and is to be feared and strictly controlled. We were taught that physical attraction or d...
80: Childhood Trauma, Porn Addiction, Seeking Safety in Pleasure and Escape, and How to Quit Porn by Transforming Your Mindset & Lifestyle (on the New Paths Podcast with Dan Johnson)
Today's episode is from the New Paths podcast. Dan Johnson and I tag-team it again and talk porn addiction recovery, touching heavily on my personal porn addiction story.
In today's episode, I'm going to dig in some to my childhood trauma, as well as sexual trauma, getting a bit vulnerable with you.
I want to say from the get-go, I didn't experience severe trauma. My heart goes out to those who have, including many of my clients and friends in recovery.
Rather, I grew up as a kid with a very sensitive and...
79: Emotional Drivers of Porn Addiction, Bad Advice that Makes Porn Addiction Worse, How to Heal Past Trauma, Save Your Marriage & Improve Your Sex Life | Dean & HollyKem Sunseri
Every man or woman who struggles with porn addiction carries trauma and emotional struggles.
In my own personal porn addiction recovery journey, I’ve come to understand many things about the emotional pain that I carry. And by understanding it, I’ve been able to release much of it, and I continue to after a decade of sobriety from porn.
In my professional work with clients, I’ve come to see many of the same patterns - the same burdens, insecurities, and coping mechanisms.
If you or a loved one is suffering from porn addi...
78: Stop Porn Addiction in 3 Easy Steps with ‘The Frontline Framework’ | Dan Johnson with New Paths
In the episode, Dan Johnson gives you 3 easy steps to stop porn addiction. This process is called The Frontline Framework.
Dan Johnson with New Paths is another man just like myself helping men overcome porn addiction.
Dan and I not only discuss this framework but also dive into multiple psychological and lifestyle strategies you can begin using right now to quit porn.
BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE
FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn
FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Co...
77: One Year of Porn Addiction Withdrawals | What to Expect During Your First Year After Quitting & How to Stay Sober
I recently had someone reach out to me directly to ask about porn addiction withdrawal—what it really feels like, what challenges come up, and how to get through it. Their question instantly took me back to the beginning of my own porn addiction recovery journey.
When I was six months sober, it was one of the most beautiful yet difficult times of my life. I was learning so much about myself. But I was also facing challenges I never expected.
You might have heard people describe withdrawing from porn as mild—a process that only...
76: Anger, Porn Addiction & One Simple Mental Technique to Overcome Both
Anger and porn addiction—what do they have in common? At first, it might seem like the answer is nothing.
But think about it: how many times have you been angry, and shortly afterward found yourself relapsing on porn?
Or maybe you felt stressed or frustrated after a hard day at work, only to come home and slip up.
Doesn’t the shame you feel after watching porn feel similar to the shame after losing your temper in a big fight?
In this episode, I’m going to show you the c...
75: Quit Porn Using IFS | A Powerful New Approach to Psychology & Addiction Recovery
What if your brain pushes you towards porn addiction because it’s trying to help you, not hurt you? What if you could quit porn using IFS, an approach that helps you effectively understand and speak with the part of your brain pushing you towards porn, and you could redirect it? What if you could work alongside that part to overcome porn addiction, rather than feeling exhausted trying to fight it all of the time?
Since the dawn of western psychology, we have believed in a “mono-mind”. Meaning you have one brain and one personality. Seems pretty obviou...
74: Being Self-Critical Fuels Porn Addiction | How to Stop Perfectionism So You Can Stop Watching Porn
Porn addiction and perfectionism go hand-in-hand. If you want to stop watching porn, you need to understand the underlying relationship between porn addiction and these self-critical tendencies.
One of the great misconceptions out in the world is that porn addicts are selfish, lazy, or simply don’t try hard enough. But in working with these men one-on-one, I don't see this at all.
What if I told you that men who struggle with porn addiction are some of the most self-critical and perfectionistic people there are? What if I told you that porn addicts aren’t peop...
73: Porn Addiction Positive Affirmations that Are Psychologically Effective | Recovery Mindset Statements to Quit Porn
Do you wish you had a list of recovery mindset statements that could train your brain out of porn addiction? Do you wish you had porn addiction positive affirmations that could convince you to quit porn?
Today I am not going to give you that list…because that list does not exist. Don’t believe the hype out there…
But what I am going to give you is:
Fundamental principles for writing porn addiction positive affirmations.A comprehensive list of positive affirmations that work for porn addiction.How to use these affirmations in your daily li...72: Break Barriers to Quit Porn | 4 Psychological Blocks that Prevent Porn Recovery and How to Bust Through Them
You cannot quit porn simply by overcoming sexual cravings and urges. Porn addiction doesn’t ultimately stem from these urges (as surprising as that is).
In reality, porn cravings are a symptom of underlying psychological barriers you're experiencing that are preventing porn addiction recovery.
Instead of facing or fighting porn cravings, you need to get to the root causes of pornography addiction. You need to access the mental blocks in your mindset and remove them.
I’m going to teach you how to do this today.
If you properly and consistently follow...
71: Relapse-Free Business Trips & Vacations | How to Build a Safety Plan to Stop Watching Porn While Traveling
Have you ever had a streak of sobriety, only to go on a vacation or business trip and relapse on porn? In order to stop watching porn on business trips and vacations, you need to take a proactive approach.
One of the most counterintuitive things about vacation is that it can be one of the greatest triggers for relapse. Vacation takes us out of our norms and routines, giving way to unanticipated complications and temptations.
Business trips can also lead to porn relapse, as we are often under pressure and stress during the day and a...
70: What to Do When Your Wife is Triggered | How to Hold Boundaries and Use the Language of Safety in Your Marriage When You Have a Porn Addiction
If you’re married and you struggle with a porn addiction, we’re going to talk about what to do when your wife is triggered.
I have seen a recurring trend with my clients who struggle with pornography addiction. Many have no boundaries with their partners. They face some very serious struggles and confusion in their marriage, trying to figure out how to react when their wives with betrayal trauma are triggered. In other words, when their wives become angry, defensive, lash out, become critical and insulting, or they shut down and give their husbands the silent treat...
69: Journey Out of Darkness | A Porn Addiction Story of Healing Through Empathy & Compassion
In today’s article, I’m going to share a story with you. One that I believe every porn addict can relate to.
This story is going to teach you how to heal porn addiction using loving and compassionate methods that, in my opinion, people don’t talk about enough.
It’s also going to teach you the truth about the underlying psychology and root causes of porn addiction.
This story will be told from the perspective of a father who is watching their son struggle with a pornography addiction. And regardless of whether you...
68: From Porn to Peace | Recovery Mindset Practices to Stop Watching Porn
What if you had mental tools you could use in an instant to remove your desire for porn?
What if you could stop watching porn because you had a recovery mindset that replaced your need for it?
What I often hear from my clients when they begin my intensive porn addiction recovery program is that cravings for porn and sex feel instant and automatic. They see a woman, and immediately the lust and fantasizing starts.
I remember exactly what that was like during the years I was addicted to porn.
Many...
67: My Wife Won't Have Sex With Me - What Do I Do? | Side Effects of Porn Addiction in Marriage and Finding Sexual Healing
“My wife won’t have sex with me”, “Porn addiction has ruined our marriage and our sex life”, “My wife has gained 80 lbs since we got married, and I’m no longer sexually attracted to her”, “My wife dresses like a nun and wants nothing to do with sex”...
If any of these sound like you, and you’re in a marriage where sex is as frequent as a solar eclipse (or if that’s too generous), today’s episode is for you. Today, we’re going to talk about:
Reasons your wife isn’t having sex with you (and they’re not...66: When Wives Become Sex Objects | Porn Addiction in Marriage, and How a Man Overcomes Sexual Obsession
Today, I address common questions many men I’ve worked with have had about porn addiction in marriage. We’ll talk about how wives can unfortunately become sex objects in today's cultural climate (and how to put a stop to it), and how a husband can:
Overcome sexual obsession so he can lead a happier, more fulfilling life.Feel truly sexually satisfied in the relationship.Help his wife feel safe, accepted, and loved.Quit porn by building a recovery mindset and lifestyle.If you’re a spouse of a porn addict, this episode is also for you. <...
65: Beat Porn Triggers Using this 5-Step System to Overcome Porn Addiction
Many of my clients have the same question when they start my porn addiction recovery program: “When triggers for porn come up, I just don’t know how to handle them. Are there any simple practices I can use to overcome porn triggers?”
In today’s episode, I am going to show you how to beat porn triggers and overcome porn addiction using a 5-step system that is simple and easy to apply.
With this 5-step system, you will no longer be confused about how to handle porn triggers because you’ll have a strategy in place e...
64: The 17 Porn Addiction Symptoms that Porn Addicts and Spouses Should Know
Do you or your spouse struggle with a porn addiction? Or do you suspect that you or your spouse may be struggling with one? Today, I’m going to share 17 porn addiction symptoms that porn addicts and spouses should know.
I’ve been working in the addiction community for years, and I have seen recurring patterns and themes among clients and friends who are trying to quit porn. I’ve also been through my own porn addiction recovery journey. In this article, I pull upon both my professional experience helping others stop porn addiction and my personal experie...
63: Relapse: How to Tell Your Wife About Your Porn Relapse (Without a Fight) Using The 4-Pronged Ownership Approach
You just watched porn. You’ve been working hard to stay sober and stop watching porn, but despite your best efforts, you slipped up and now you’re in a dilemma… How to tell your wife about your porn relapse?
Relapses are a common part of porn addiction recovery. I would love it if they weren’t, but they are! It’s just the reality.
During the years I was working to quit porn, I relapsed after a year of sobriety…twice! It was brutally discouraging, but it was not...