The Self-Love Recovery Podcast

Covert narcissists take full advantage of the winter holidays, especially Christmas. They get to show off while exploiting others. 

Patreon Exclusive Content: for exclusive content, insights, and services, consider subscribing to Ross Rosenberg's/Self-Love Recovery Institute's new Patreon Subscription Program: https://www.patreon.com/RossRosenbergSLRI

ABOUT ROSS ROSENBERG 
Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, is a psychotherapist, educator, expert witness, and celebrated author. He is also a global thought leader and clinical expert in codependency, trauma, pathological narcissism, narcissistic abuse, and addictions.

Ross's pioneering contributions to codependency have provided sweeping theoretical and pr...

Interviewed by John Cooper for his Podcast. 

This interview focuses on Ross Rosenberg’s theories about toxic relationship patterns, particularly the Human Magnet Syndrome and Self‑Love Deficit Disorder (SLDD), formerly known as codependency. Rosenberg explains how people with unmet attachment needs and low self‑love are unconsciously drawn to pathological narcissists through intense chemistry, familiarity, and trauma bonding rooted in childhood attachment trauma. The discussion explores how narcissists and self‑love‑deficient individuals often come from the same dysfunctional family systems but adapt differently, and why these relationships feel euphoric at first.

The conversation also examin...

In this crucial follow-up to his viral video with 3.8 million views, psychotherapist and author Ross Rosenberg delivers a vital warning: never try to unmask or expose a covert narcissist.

He explains that because covert narcissists possess strong sociopathic traits, they experience exposure as an existential threat—equivalent to "murder" in their psyche—and their only response will be to utterly destroy you through smear campaigns, triangulation, and ruthless retaliation. Drawing from his own painful mistakes and professional experience, Rosenberg reveals why direct confrontation activates "false power syndrome" and guarantees your defeat. Instead, he provides the true path to v...

In this video, Ross Rosenberg explains how an article on the “Happiness Paradox” completely changed his understanding of happiness by revealing that chasing it actually destroys it. He describes how true happiness arises naturally when we’re present, emotionally aligned, and engaged in life—not when we try to force it as a goal. Rosenberg connects this to self‑love deficit disorder (SLDD), noting that many codependents mistake the absence of pain or the approval of narcissistic partners for happiness, leaving them stuck in a cycle of chasing emotional “mirages.” He emphasizes that real happiness comes from healing, building self‑love, and...

Ross Rosenberg’s video delves into the roots and reality of Self-Love Deficit Disorder (SLDD)—a trauma-based condition stemming from early childhood experiences with narcissistic and codependent parents. He explains how these formative wounds create “core shame” and “pathological loneliness,” driving people into unhealthy, addictive relationships in a desperate attempt to soothe their sense of unlovability. Through his SLDD framework, Rosenberg highlights the emotional pain that fuels codependency and the false perception that external validation or relationships can fix inner emptiness.

In the video, Rosenberg challenges viewers who believe they are healing from codependency to confront denial and self-dec...

For decades, the word codependency shaped how we understood toxic relationship cycles — but it was never quite enough. In this video, Ross Rosenberg explains why he redefined the concept as Self-Love Deficit Disorder (SLDD), a trauma-based framework that better explains the root causes of codependency and why recovery often fails without addressing them.

Ross takes you back to his early years as a psychotherapist, how The Human Magnet Syndrome was born, and what inspired the Self-Love Recovery model that’s now helped thousands reclaim their self-worth.

If you’ve ever felt trapped in painful relationship patter...

In this podcast, psychotherapist Ross Rosenberg addresses the challenge of making friends after age 40, especially following a divorce or major life change. He explains that while it can be difficult, it is entirely possible by focusing on key mental and social strategies. The most critical factor is cultivating a positive, self-loving mindset, as anxiety and negativity can become self-fulfilling prophecies. 

Rosenberg provides practical advice: be genuinely interested in others by asking questions, maintain relaxed body language and eye contact, and avoid negativity, bragging, or using substances as a social crutch. He strongly recommends using platforms like Meetup.c...

Do you have a "graveyard of broken relationships" because you confront people who hurt you? In this video, Ross Rosenberg introduces the latest addition to his list of codependency personality types: the Abandonment-Sensitive Codependent (or Self-Love Deficient individual). These individuals are highly reactive to perceived abandonment, often confronting the pathological narcissists they are magnetically attracted to, which leads to repeated relationship ruptures. 

In the video, Ross explains how this creates a self-fulfilling prophecy of loneliness and how it differs from healthier responses or personality disorders like BPD. If you see yourself in this pattern, learn how healing t...

Narcissism and codependency don’t just appear out of nowhere — they are passed down through families, generation after generation. In this video, Ross Rosenberg explains why children of narcissistic parents often grow up to become either codependent or narcissistic themselves, and how the cycle of trauma and attachment wounds continues unless it is broken.

You’ll learn how conditional love, neglect, or emotional abuse shapes a child’s identity and attachment style, why codependency is actually self-love deficit disorder (SLDD), and why the human magnet syndrome draws codependents to narcissists again and again.

Breaking this curse is...

Narcissists use chronic devaluation, criticism, and gaslighting to crush self-esteem and keep their partners feeling powerless. In this video, Ross Rosenberg explains why defending yourself while staying in the relationship rarely works and why rebuilding self-worth starts with choosing self-love. Learn how to break free from narcissistic abuse, overcome core shame, and take the first steps toward healing.

If you’re ready to move forward, visit selflovereocovery.com to explore resources and support for your recovery.

Ross's 3.7 million viewed video, "When You Unmask a Covert Narcissist, RUN, But Quietly! Counterfeit Relationship."  https://bit.ly/Covert-Narcissist

What happens when one of your parents is a covert narcissist? Behind their mask of charm and respectability lies a devastating truth that can destroy a child’s sense of self. In this video, Ross Rosenberg explains the unique dangers of covert narcissist parents, why they’re so hard to expose, and how their manipulation can leave lasting scars. These experiences often leave children questioning their reality and struggling with deep self-doubt well into adulthood. The damage may be invisible to outsiders, but for the child, it feels inescapable and overwhelming. Understanding these hidden patterns is the first step towa...

Ross Rosenberg gives a mini movie review, but focuses on the concept of the complete loss of one's identity as it melds into that of the pathological narcissist. 

Years into their relationship, Tim and Millie abandon their old lives and move to the countryside, hoping to escape their problems. But when all you have left is each other, love can turn into something monstrous. After tensions between them reach a breaking point, a mysterious, unnatural force invades their lives—twisting their love into a nightmare. As their bodies and minds begin to fuse together, the film explores the...

In this powerful reunion, Ross Rosenberg sits down once again with life coach and author Rick Belden to revisit the profound topic of the mother wound. Their last discussion on this subject reached over 400,000 views, and for good reason — it's a topic that resonates deeply with so many. This time, they go even deeper, exploring how early relational injuries with a mother — whether due to neglect, enmeshment, or emotional absence — can lead to lifelong patterns of self-neglect, codependency, and a fractured sense of self. Rick shares his unique perspective working primarily with men, while Ross draws connections to his own Se...

In this episode, Ross Rosenberg breaks down one of the most emotionally disorienting and dangerous tactics used by narcissists: the Humanization Technique. This subtle yet deeply manipulative behavior emerges when a narcissist feels they're about to lose control — suddenly becoming vulnerable, tearful, or apologetic in ways that evoke intense sympathy from their codependent partner. But is it real… or a trap?

Ross shares how this tactic can trigger overwhelming empathy in those with Self-Love Deficit Disorder (codependency) and derail even the most prepared plans to leave. You'll learn how to recognize it, protect yourself emotionally, and avoid fall...

In this episode, Ross Rosenberg breaks down the complex and often misunderstood concept of trauma bonding — the deep emotional ties that form between codependents (or those with Self-Love Deficit Disorder™) and pathological narcissists. Drawing from his Human Magnet Syndrome framework, Ross explains how early attachment trauma shapes our adult relationship patterns, why we stay in harmful relationships, and how trauma creates a powerful but toxic bond that feels like love. If you're stuck in painful patterns and don’t know why, this video may hold the answers.

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ABOUT ROSS ROSENBERG
Ross Rosenb...

Ross Rosenberg explains how pathological narcissism infects USA politics. 

NOW AVAILABLE: THE HUMAN MAGNET SYNDROME WORKBOOK. https://bit.ly/HMS_Workbook

Consider subscribing to Ross Rosenberg's/Self-Love Recovery Institute's new Patreon Subscription, where you can access exclusive content, insights, and services. https://www.patreon.com/RossRosenbergSLRIatreon 

Support the show

ABOUT ROSS ROSENBERG
Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, is a psychotherapist, educator, expert witness, and celebrated author. He is also a global thought leader and clinical expert in codependency, trauma, pathological narcissism, narcissistic abuse, and addictions.

Ross's pioneering co...

In this episode I explain the term cognitive dissonance, and how it can be someone's friend, especially is they are suffering from codependency or what I call self-love deficit disorder.  The basic definition: it is the uncomfortable mental feeling you get when your thoughts, beliefs, or actions don't match. Your brain doesn’t like contradictions, so it tries to resolve the tension. For example, if you believe eating healthy is important but eat junk food, you might feel guilty or uneasy. To feel better, you might try to justify your actions by saying it was a special occasion. You mig...

Ross Rosenberg created the metaphor of “The Surgeon General’s Warning” to prepare and protect individuals struggling with Self-Love Deficit Disorder (SLDD)—also known as codependency—for the emotional costs of their healing journey. Much like the health warnings on cigarette packaging that alert users to the dangers of smoking, Rosenberg’s metaphor serves as a cautionary message to those embarking on Self-Love Recovery: profound and often painful losses may be part of the process.

As Rosenberg explains, truly committing to recovery—choosing to prioritize self-love, emotional boundaries, and authentic living—often comes at the cost of longstanding rel...

In this eye-opening episode, Ross Rosenberg introduces his groundbreaking Human Magnet Syndrome Workbook and unveils his powerful "Alpha Narcissist Theory."

Drawing from decades of clinical experience and deep psychological insight, Rosenberg explores the rarely discussed dynamic that occurs when two narcissists enter a relationship—a battle of control, manipulation, and dominance. He explains how, in these high-conflict partnerships, one narcissist inevitably emerges as the more dominant figure—the Alpha Narcissist—while the other assumes a more submissive, enabling role, even if both exhibit narcissistic traits.

This compelling theory sheds new light on how narcissistic relationships don't...

Support the show

ABOUT ROSS ROSENBERG
Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, is a psychotherapist, educator, expert witness, and celebrated author. He is also a global thought leader and clinical expert in codependency, trauma, pathological narcissism, narcissistic abuse, and addictions.

Ross's pioneering contributions to codependency have provided sweeping theoretical and practical updates and developed a treatment program that permanently resolves the issue. Ross has been featured on national TV and radio and is a regular radio and podcast guest.

In addition, he has traveled the world, giving his one-of-a-kind keynote presentations and...

Ross Rosenberg and Jerry Weiss discuss codependency and its effects on identity and family dynamics. Jerry, a recovering codependent, shares how codependency impacted his self-esteem and happiness. They introduce Murray Bowen's family systems theory, highlighting how interconnected family behaviors influence individual identities and can perpetuate issues like codependency and narcissism across generations, illustrated by the concept of "family system Wi-Fi."

The hosts also explore self-differentiation, the process of separating one's identity from family influences, which is often resisted in dysfunctional families. They use analogies like a thermostat and escape velocity to describe the challenges of breaking free...

In this video, Ross Rosenberg elaborates on his "Humanization Trick" concept, shifting the focus from the manipulative tactics of narcissists to the role of individuals with Self-Love Deficit Disorder (SLD) or codependency in this dynamic. He explains that codependents unconsciously engage in the "Humanization Trick" by convincing themselves that their narcissistic partners deserve sympathy, compassion, and empathy, even in the face of abusive behavior.

This self-deception arises from deep fears of abandonment, pathological loneliness, and core shame. Their dread of being alone and feelings of unworthiness lead them to rationalize their partner's mistreatment rather than confront the...

Ross Rosenberg addresses a question from his Self-Love Mailbag: 
1. What prevents individuals with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and borderline personality disorder (BPD) from understanding the emotional pain they cause to others?
2. What are the origins of the deep-seated shame experienced by people with NPD and BPD?
3. What are the reasons that individuals with these disorders often struggle to feel empathy for others?
4. What causes the intense fear of abandonment commonly seen in individuals with borderline personality disorder?

Be sure to leave another question to be answered in the next installment of the Self-Love M...

Ross Rosenberg, author of The Human Magnet Syndrome and The Codependency Revolution, shares his wisdom and clinical experience on surviving and healing from narcissistic abuse. 

Self-Love Mailbag: leave questions for Ross to consider answering at the end of the next YouTube video. 

For more information about Brook: www.bit.ly/high-conflict-divorce

Consider subscribing to Ross Rosenberg's/Self-Love Recovery Institute's new Patreon Subscription, where you can access exclusive content, insights, and services. https://www.patreon.com/RossRosenbergSLRIatreon 

ABOUT ROSS ROSENBERG 
Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, is a psychotherapist, educator, expert witn...

Ross Rosenberg, a psychotherapist with 38 years of experience, discusses high-conflict divorces with Brook Olsen, a Certified Parenting Educator, Divorce Mediator, Divorce Coach, and author of The Black Hole of High Conflict. Although Ross and Brook have different backgrounds, their understanding and solutions for achieving positive results in high-conflict divorces with narcissists are similar and complementary. 

The Self-Love Recovery Institute's Self-Love Mailbag is mentioned in the podcast. To be considered for the question answered at the end of the podcast, email us at help@ selfloverecovery.com  In addition, an exclusive discount of a FREE seminar...

Ross Rosenberg introduces the term "Valentine's Day Narcissist," describing it as an individual with one of three pathological narcissistic disorders—Borderline, Antisocial, or Narcissistic Personality Disorder—and their manipulative behaviors specifically exhibited on Valentine's Day. 

He explains that their primary tactic involves "love bombing," a form of gaslighting, to win over those with self-love deficit disorder, also known as codependency. Through this strategy, they craft an image of themselves as devoted and affectionate partners, while in reality, their actions are anything but loving.

The Self-Love Recovery Institute's Self-Love Mailbag is mentioned in the podca...

Drawing from decades of experience as a therapist and his own personal journey, Ross breaks down the complexities of depression, why it’s so important to address openly, and how understanding it can lead to healing and self-love.

Due to the widespread lack of understanding and the prevailing stigma surrounding depression, countless individuals find themselves compelled to endure their suffering in silence. Ross uses this presentation to illuminate a mental health condition that, while common, is poorly understood and can be incapacitating.

This heartfelt and informative discussion offers practical wisdom and a compassionate perspective on a...

Drawing on his concepts of the “Human Magnet Syndrome” and the “Codependency Revolution,” Ross Rosenberg presents a straightforward yet insightful definition of love.

Patreon Exclusive Content: for exclusive content, insights, and services, consider subscribing to Ross Rosenberg's/Self-Love Recovery Institute's new Patreon Subscription Program: https://www.patreon.com/RossRosenbergSLRI

ABOUT ROSS ROSENBERG 
Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, is a psychotherapist, educator, expert witness, and celebrated author. He is also a global thought leader and clinical expert in codependency, trauma, pathological narcissism, narcissistic abuse, and addictions.

Ross's pioneering contributions to codependency have provided...

Covert narcissists take full advantage of the winter holidays, especially Christmas. They get to show off while exploiting others. 

Patreon Exclusive Content: for exclusive content, insights, and services, consider subscribing to Ross Rosenberg's/Self-Love Recovery Institute's new Patreon Subscription Program: https://www.patreon.com/RossRosenbergSLRI

ABOUT ROSS ROSENBERG 
Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, is a psychotherapist, educator, expert witness, and celebrated author. He is also a global thought leader and clinical expert in codependency, trauma, pathological narcissism, narcissistic abuse, and addictions.

Ross's pioneering contributions to codependency have provided sweeping theoretical and pr...

Ross Rosenberg succinctly reviews his Self-Love Recovery treatment program for codependency or what he calls "self-love deficit disorder." A six-hour thorough examination of this treatment program can be purchased as an audio or video download at tiny.cc/Codependency_Cure

Patreon  Exclusive Content: for exclusive content, insights, and services, consider subscribing to Ross Rosenberg's/Self-Love Recovery Institute's new Patreon Subscription Program: https://www.patreon.com/RossRosenbergSLRI

ABOUT ROSS ROSENBERG 
Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, is a psychotherapist, educator, expert witness, and celebrated author. He is also a global thought leader and clinical expert in...

In this touching episode, Ross Rosenberg delves into the essential principles of codependency recovery, which he calls "self-love recovery." With clarity, compassion, and empathy, he presents a compelling explanation for how individuals with self-love deficit disorder (codependency) can break free from their long-standing pattern of getting involved with destructive narcissists and instead embrace a life filled with abundant self-love.

He emphasizes that while codependents, or Self-Love Deficient individuals (SLDs), are never to blame for the abuse they endure in relationships with narcissists, taking personal responsibility is essential to healing. Drawing on his Human Magnet Syndrome framework, he...

In this podcast, Ross Rosenberg delves into "emotional dysmorphia," a term he coined to describe the internalized, distorted self-perceptions often developed by those with Self-Love Deficit Disorder (SLDD), or codependency. Much like body dysmorphia, emotional dysmorphia involves pervasive feelings of inadequacy or being unlovable, which persist despite contradictory evidence and affirmations from others.

Ross explains how these beliefs are reinforced through abusive relationships, particularly with narcissists, and gives insight into mechanisms like projection and projective identification, where individuals begin to see themselves through a distorted, negative lens. This concept is key to understanding SLDD, as it shows...

In this episode, Ross Rosenberg dives into the metaphor of a "parasite" to explain the toxic dynamic between codependents (Self-Love Deficients or SLDs) and pathological narcissists.

Building on concepts from his books, The Human Magnet Syndrome and The Codependency Revolution, Ross explains how narcissists, much like parasites, rely on the life force of codependents to survive.

Ross emphasizes that healing from this destructive relationship pattern requires addressing the deeper wounds of Self-Love Deficit Disorder/SLDD (codependency), which originates from childhood attachment trauma. 

He introduces his Self-Love Recovery Treatment program and the HITCH trauma r...

Learn more in our latest blog post: https://www.selfloverecovery.com/blogs/blog/broken-from-the-start-co-dependents-anonymous-who-is-powerless-over-whom

Full version of topic is included in ross's new book, The Codependency Revolution: https://www.selfloverecovery.com/products/the-codependency-revolution?variant=45089834762479

Just like other 12-step programs, CoDA’s first step pinpoints the out-of-control addiction or compulsive behavior that constantly creates disorder in their life. For most 12-step groups, a chemical or substance is the culprit, but for others like CoDA, it is a pattern of behavior that creates chaos and unmanageability in their life.  

In this video, Ross Rosenberg explains why...

Ross Rosenberg's emotionally evocative podcast captures the terror, fear, and anxiety of being an abuse victim by a loved one who has borderline personality disorder. He not only explains the experience but also offers life-saving advice on how to survive it. Similar to his previous videos on BPD (which have amassed 1.8 million views), he provides insights from his distinctive perspective as a mental health service provider with a one-of-a-kind intellect.

A decade later, Rosenberg once again presents a heart-wrenching account of the horrifying realities endured by those who have suffered abuse at the hands of someone with...

Learn more about Karen here: https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/jbdpodcast

Find Ross's latest bestselling book here: https://a.co/d/fYuRNvE

In this insightful discussion, Ross Rosenberg and Karen McMahon delve into the challenges of high-conflict divorces, especially with narcissistic partners. Karen, founder of Journey Beyond Divorce, shares her expertise in guiding individuals through the emotional and legal hurdles of divorce, focusing on those affected by self-love deficit disorder (SLDD) and codependency. She highlights the importance of personal healing and empowerment amidst the chaos of divorce proceedings.

Karen explains how individuals often feel...

In this podcast, Ross interviews Alex Katehakis, a renowned marriage and family therapist specializing in sexual addiction and healthy sexuality. Alex shares her journey, starting with an interest in human sexuality and later focusing on sex and love addiction, as well as sexual codependency. She explains the difference between healthy and problematic sexual behaviors, noting that it’s not the acts themselves but the misuse of sex that causes issues. Alex also highlights how childhood trauma and emotional deprivation can distort one's view of love, sex, and intimacy.

The discussion touches on challenges faced by people struggling wi...

In this podcast, Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed, LCPC, CADC, discusses the hidden dangers of pursuing happiness for those with Self-Love Deficit Disorder (SLDD), or codependency. He explains how codependents often mistake the absence of pain for true happiness due to their relationships with narcissists, who manipulate and gaslight them. Ross emphasizes the importance of addressing underlying issues like trauma, shame, and loneliness, and building self-love before seeking happiness. For more resources and support, visit selfloverecovery.com or contact help@selfloverecovery.com. 

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ABOUT ROSS ROSENBERG
Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, is a...

With a new introduction, Ross re-shares the video that has changed thousands of lives. 

The most effective of all the narcissist's manipulative strategies is “Induced Conversation.” Especially when breaking down a no-contact initiative or when trying to hoover (suck back into the relationship) the codependent. For codependents to not get sucked back into the relationship that has nearly destroyed them, they must have potent countermeasures to survive the narcissist’s induced conversation strategies.

Induced conversation is the primary weapon that the narcissist wrestler uses to maintain their power and control over you. As you begin setting...

In this podcast, Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed, LCPC, CADC, discusses the concept of pathological loneliness, a profound existential pain that individuals with self-love deficit disorder (SLDD), or codependency, experience when they are not in a relationship. Rosenberg explores the roots of this condition, its connection to codependency, and how it manifests as a visceral, bone-aching pain driving individuals into unhealthy relationships to avoid loneliness. He likens SLDD to an addiction, where the "drug" is the relationship itself, not the narcissistic partner. Through this discussion, Rosenberg aims to shed light on the existential crisis faced by those with SLDD and...