Master Your Relationship Mind Drama

Do you ever wonder what the difference is between a healthy boundary and a control attempt coming from a place of insecurity? 

If so - this episode is for you. 

We're going to cover:

The difference between a healthy boundary and a power struggleThe key ingredients that go into setting a healthy boundarySome examples of real life situations showing the difference between a healthy boundary & a control attempt (situations you will likely relate to)How to manage your own mind first so you know you’re approaching the boundary as your most secure selfHow to c...

Do you have a partner or friend that exhibits some of the signs of an avoidant attachment style?

And do you find your own anxiety being triggered by their behaviour - resulting in a push-pull cycle - where both people feel frustrated and disconnected?

You're certainly not alone with this.

And in today's episode, I'm teaching you how to manage your OWN mind and create a secure response to avoidant behaviour.

So that you can feel calm and grounded, regardless of what's going on for them - and actually create more...

We all talk a lot about self-love and being compassionate to ourselves.

But what does that actually mean or look like?

In hundreds of coaching sessions - I've seen the many ways we can reject and disconnect from ourselves. And the impact that has on our lives & relationships.

And in today's episode, I'm going to share some questions to help you do an audit of your own relationship with YOU.

AND I'm going to offer you 3 exercises to help you improve it.

Mentioned in the episode:

...

So many of us spend our lives trying to avoid being triggered. 

We blame other people for triggering us.

We try and convince people to change their behaviour so we can be less triggered.

But what if instead you could change the way you respond to your triggers...

And turn them into opportunities to understand your thought patterns on a deeper level.

In today's episode - I'm going to teach you steps to turn any trigger into an opportunity for growth.

Mentioned in the episode:

Processing e...

This week, I'm continuing on from last week's episode on the most common limiting beliefs I see coming up in my client sessions!

I'll be discussing the following thought patterns, how they impact our relationships, and how to challenge them! 

Including:

Believing your worth is dependent on the way you lookGauging how much someone cares about you by how they follow your manualNeeding to be perfect to be lovableDoing something bad = Being badAND MORE!

In today's episode, I'm discussing some of the most common beliefs I see coming up time and time again for my clients.

And the impact they have on our relationships.

Including:

Believing you cause other people's emotionsMaking rejection mean something about YOUBelieving you have to be a certain way / have a certain quality to be lovableAND MORE!

PS. There were be a part 2 next week!

Does your brain have a very all-or-nothing way of looking at yourself and your relationships?

You either did it perfectly or you're terrible.

You're a good friend or a bad friend.

Your partner either says the exact right thing or they must not care about you at all.

If so - you're not alone!

Our brains are actually predisposed to be very black & white in the way they think - preferring things to fit neatly into set categories - leaving very little room for nuance or shades of grey.<...

In today's episode, I'm talking about relationships doubts and anxiety - something which is often referred to as ROCD (Relationship OCD).

For many of my clients, they're in relationships with loving partners & they don't want to break up with them - BUT their brains will not let them relax.

They find themselves constantly questioning 'Am I in the right relationship?' and overthinking and nit-picking everything their partner says and does.

If you can relate, here's what I'm covering today:

Why asking 'Am I in the 'right' relationship'? is the...

When we're not honest with the people in our lives - we can create so much harm and disconnection.

And yet... sometimes humans lie!

In today's episode, I'm discussing:

Why humans lieThe act of self-preservation Bringing curiosity to situations - instead of black & white thinkingHow to handle conversations around lyingAnd the fear of being lied to

Ready?

Mentioned in the episode:

Spring 5 week 1:1 coaching package - email: Rebecca@rebeccaorecoaching.com

Do you often find yourself thinking:

'Why am I still thinking this?!'

'What's wrong with me!'

'I shouldn't STILL feel this way...'

Maybe you've done the work of challenging your unhelpful thoughts, but find them still popping up and ruining your day? 

If you're feeling disheartened and frustrated with your brain right now - this episode is for YOU.

I'm going to be covering:

Why changing the way you think isn't quick and easyThe unfair expectations we have of ourselves and o...

In today's episode - I'm answering questions written in by some of you lovely listeners.

We're going to cover a wide range of topics, including:

Feeling guilt for things like finding other people attractiveShould I tell my partner about the work I'm doing on myself?The fear of missing a sign that you're being cheated onFeeling like you attract busy partners - and how to get your needs metHow to catch yourself before you project your insecurities Dealing with a partner with female friends

NOTE - Just because these things may not directly d...

Do you often feel jealous in your relationships?

Maybe your partner mentions a new co-worker, or a friend you're a little insecure about, or maybe you get that pit in your stomach when your best friend mentions one of their other friends...

Jealousy is a normal human emotion.

But it can cause so much havoc when left unchecked.

In this episode we're talking about:

What jealousy isHaving compassion for our jealous brainsTypes of jealousyThe biggest lies jealousy tells us How to coach your brain out of moments of jealousyAND how t...

This episode is for anyone that's tired of feeling like a slave to their anxious brain.

One of the biggest shifts for me was changing my relationship to my anxious thoughts.

Most of us take our thoughts verrrrry seriously. We think the fact our brain is saying something to us MUST mean it's true. 

We place a lot of importance on the thoughts in our brain - and then end up ruminating, spiralling, and acting in ways we really don't love.

In today's episode, I'm talking about:

Why we have s...

In today's episode, I'm talking about how knowing our core values can help guide us in and out of our relationships.

We'll be covering:

What values areHow yours and your partner's values may differWhether that's a problemAnd how to let your values guide you when making decisions

Mentioned in the episode:

James Clear's list of valuesSign up to my email listContact me: rebecca@rebeccaorecoaching.com

In today's episode, I'm interviewing one of my past clients and amazing friends - Mariah Kay. 

Mariah speaks openly about her journey navigating her husband's alcohol addiction and talks about how you can help your partner in their recovery.

Mariah now coaches women facing the same struggles.

Find her at @myhusbandsaddictionCheck out her website: https://www.mariahkaycoaching.com/

As promised - in today's episode I'm answering 6 questions from listeners on a variety of topics.

Including:

The fear of falling out of love with your partnerWhen to end a relationship / when to try againComparing yourself (and your life) to others Jealousy over your partner's successWhat to do when you're triggered

Mentioned in the episode:

Processing emotions meditation

Do you feel terrified about what your partner may or may not be doing online...

Here's a snippet from a question I received from a listener:

"My question is about trusting someone in the digital age. It feels like more and more our devices are built for hiding things. Every social media app now seems to have a vanishing mode for deleting conversations, and every new version of an operating system offers additional “privacy” features. For someone working hard to heal their anxious attachment tendencies—including hyper vigilance—it feels exhausting! Like trouble could be lurking...

Anyone who has ever felt anxiety in their relationships will know what it's like to feel constantly afraid. 

To fear what other people might be thinking of us...
To fear what our partners or friends might do...
To fear having to start again...
To fear being alone...

But I believe the antidote to fear is courage.

And so in today's episode, I'm talking about:

What courage isWhat loving without fear can createWhat loving courageously looks likeAnd how to cultivate more courage in your relationships

Ready? LISTEN NOW.

Ever make requests of your partner (or friend / family member) and maybe they agree to do it... but they don't really do it the way you hoped?

Maybe you ask them to plan more romantic date nights - and they do for a week or so - but then they go back to their old pattern of behaviour?

Or perhaps you're struggling with knowing when to compromise in your relationship - wondering if you and your partner are just too different?

In today's episode I'm exploring:

How there are really...

Our brains are always constructing a narrative.

We make meanings out of the things that have happened in our pasts, and then these stories shape and distort the way we think about situations in our present and what we create for our futures.

But did you know that you could rewrite your entire past, simply by changing the way you think about it?

Have you been cheated on...
Broken up with...
Made a big mistake...
Struggled in dating...

These events could be long gone but the...

Do you feel a little frustrated, disappointed or let down by some of the people in your life right now?

Maybe you had expectations of how certain relatives or loved ones would behave over Christmas, and they didn't quite hit the mark...

It's easy for us to slip into victim mode in these moments, and mentally give all power over our emotions to the imperfect humans in our lives.

But in this episode - I'm going to teach you how to take back control, think intentionally, and handle unmet expectations.

Ready?<...

Feeling dread as Christmas approaches? Worrying about spending time with family members and feeling triggered?

Have you done a lot of work on yourself this year, and fear that it may all fly out the window as soon as you're around your parents, neighbours, or distant relatives?

If so... I've got you!

This is the reminder we ALL need this time of year. 

Mentioned in this episode:

Group coaching details

This week, I'm resharing one of my older episodes which answers a really common question I get when I teach people that their partners don't create their feelings.

People ask me: 'But if my partner isn't creating my emotions for me, and their job isn't to 'make me feel good' - then what's the point of relationships?!'

If your brain has offered a similar question...

This episode is for YOU!

Do you see posts on Instagram about red flags and instantly feel the pit of anxiety in your stomach?

Are you often worried about missing the signs that your partner isn't trustworthy? 

And have you beaten yourself up in the past for 'not seeing it coming' and felt embarrassed, stupid, and naïve? 

If so - this episode is for YOU.

I'm offering an opposing opinion on red flags and talking about why our obsession with them isn't actually helpful.

Listen to find out:

Why the idea of red...

Do you and your partner often have the same fight over and over?

Or is there an issue you have with a friend that has been happening for a while now - and you just can't seem to break the cycle?

Do you find yourself having the same reaction - and then them having their usual reaction...

And then suddenly you're in the same fight you've had many times before?

If so - it's time to break the cycle.

And this episode will...

We can all be a little codependent sometimes. We're all humans with human brains after all!

But sometimes codependent ways of thinking can take on a life of their own - and create a lot of anxiety, fear, and resentment in relationships. 

Do you feel like your mood can be ruined by the mood of the people around you?Do you instantly feel anxious if you think someone is mad at you?Do you often blame other people for how you're feeling or for the choices you're making?

If so, this episode i...

When we're feeling anxious, there are certain things that are going to help us...

And certain things that aren't...

In today's episode, I'm talking about the things that DO NOT help you when you're feeling anxious and what to do instead. 

Mentioned in the episode:

Next round of my group coaching programme - DETAILS

Does your brain just LOVE to worry? So much so you're pretty sure you could win an Olympic medal if worrying was a category? 

In today's episode, I'm talking to Emilie Leyes - expert in brain training and hypnosis - and founder of the Doddle hypnosis app.

We're covering topics like:

Why our brains worryWhether worry is ever productiveSome of Emilie's favourite techniques for overcoming worry and anxietyAnd how to face any worrying situation with confidence and self-certainty

Find out more about Emilie:

InstagramWebsite

How much time do you spend focusing on how other people should change or behave differently?

If it's quite a lot... you're not alone!

Our brains love to focus on how other people aren't doing it 'right' and how if they'd just change, life could be so much easier.

But in today's episode, I'm going to be talking about turning that focus inward.

And focusing on who YOU want to be in your relationships, regardless of what the other humans are doing.

I'm covering:

Why we...

Do you feel a looming pressure to 'get your shit together' by a certain age?

Maybe it's a pressure to find a romantic partner...Buy a house...Get married...Have a child...

Do you often compare yourself to other people? Like your brain is cataloguing all their milestones, just to tell you how far behind you are?

In today's episode - I have a conversation with the amazing Kate Berski - author of 30 Phobia.

And we'll be digging into:

Her experience with fear and dread about turning 30Milestone myths...

Do you find yourself feeling anxious when your partner isn't responding to you?

Or does your partner like to take some space after an argument - and when they do, you feel panicky and unable to calm down until they've returned?

If so - this episode is for YOU!

I'm covering:

Why we struggle to feel safe when our partners are distant or taking spaceHow to regulate your nervous system and create inner safetyHow to challenge the beliefs and thoughts creating your fear

Mentioned in the episode:

Processing emotions...

Do you ever fear that challenging your thoughts about other people's behaviour means you're gaslighting yourself?

Do you want to make sure you're using these tools in a way that empowers you and doesn't keep you stuck in relationships that aren't truly what you want?

Then this episode is for YOU!

I'm discussing:

The reason why we challenge our thinkingWhen fear of leaving a relationship gets in the way of making a conscious decisionHow the first thought your brain offers you isn't the ultimate 'true' thought

Interested in 1:1 coaching?<...