The Ten Thousand Things

Sam and Joe discuss this quote:

Natural Great Peace

by Nyoshul Khenpo Jamyang Dorje

Rest in natural great peace
 This exhausted mind
 Beaten helpless by karma and neurotic thought
 Like the relentless fury of pounding waves
 In the infinite ocean of saṃsāra.

Sam and Joe discuss this David Hume quote: For my part, when I enter most intimately into what I call myself, I always stumble on some particular perception or other, of heat or cold, light or shade, love or hatred, pain or pleasure. I never catch myself at any time without perception, and never can observe anything but the perception.

Contact us: thetenthousandthings@outlook.com

Photo by Solstice Hannan 

Sam and Joe kick off the new year by discussing a quote from Joseph Campbell:

People say they believe in God. God is a metaphor for a mystery that absolutely transcends all human categories of thought.
Even the categories of being and nonbeing.
Those are categories of thought. I mean it's as simple as that. It depends on how much you want to think about it. Whether it's putting you in touch with the mystery that is the ground of your own being. If it isn't, well, it's a lie.

Sam and Joe discuss Verse 4 of the Tao Te Ching:

The Way is empty, yet inexhaustible,

Like an abyss!

It seems to be the origin of all things.

It dulls the sharpness,

Unties the knots,

Dims the light,

Becomes one with the dust.

Deeply hidden, as if it only might exist.

I do not know...

Sam and Joe discuss some of Adam Phillips' ideas about extending therapy outside the therapists office. This leads to discussion of using Chat GPT for mental health and a dive into the hosts own experiences of therapy. 

Sam and Joe discuss a School of Life Quote: 

"But two truths would help:

1. There aren't that many people we genuinely like.

2. There aren't that many people who deeply like us back. The sooner we accept this, the gentler the experience becomes."

Sam and Joe discuss an Eckhart Tolle quote which launches them into a broader discussion of loneliness vs solitude. Also discussed is the latest post from Alain de Botton, you can find a link here: https://www.youtube.com/post/UgkxIxHSMpzz1Lc45g-e3W8bt_PMO3oFVYU4

Is this episode Joe and Sam get into attraction. Capricious, fleeting, hard to pin down. More than just boobs and bums and 90's pin ups? We seem to think so. 

Sam and Joe discuss listener Kate's question about "radical honesty". They also get into rigorous honesty, brutal honesty and kind honesty. 

Links:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radical_honesty

https://www.esquire.com/news-politics/a26792/honesty0707/

Image: Giorgio Trovato

Sam and Joe discuss this quote:

Behind the sometimes seemingly random or even chaotic succession of events in our lives as well as in the world lies concealed the unfolding of a higher order and purpose.

This is beautifully expressed in the Zen saying "The snow falls, each flake in its appropriate place." We can never understand this higher order through thinking about it because whatever we think about is content; whereas, the higher order emanates from the formless realm of consciousness, from universal intelligence. But we can glimpse it, and more than that, align...

Sam and Joe answer listener Lou's question which is:

"How do you talk about mental health or neurodiversity with people who don’t get it?"

Image: Noah Buscher

Sam and Joe take on listener Liv’s topic about reaction, reactivity and being “triggered”. This leads to personal reflections on responses to geopolitical events and other things in life that lead them to react strongly. Some big world problems get a thorough going over and some interpersonal beefs get ironed out. 

Image: Johannes Plenio

Sam and Joe reunite to tackle Verse Two of the Tao Te Ching:

Everybody on earth knowing
that beauty is beautiful
makes ugliness.

Everybody knowing
that goodness is good
makes wickedness.
 
For being and nonbeing
arise together;
hard and easy
complete each other;
long and short
shape each other;
note and voice
make the music together;
before and after
follow each other.
 
That’s why the wise soul
does without doing,
teaches without talking.
The thin...

Sam and Joe discuss Verse One of the Tao Te Ching and how it relates to their own experience of reality. 

TAO called TAO is not TAO.

Names can name no lasting name.

Nameless: the origin of heaven and earth.

Naming: the mother of ten thousand things.

Empty of desire, perceive mystery.

Filled with desire, perceive manifestations.

These have the same source, but different names.

Call them both deep-

Deep and deep again deep:

The gateway t...

Sam and Joe discuss the poem Desiderata and how it relates to their experience of life on earth.

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others...

Sam and Joe are back after a long break with a juicy quote from their old friend Carl Jung. Myths, archetypes, figures of light, dark caves with dragons and treasure, it's a wild ride. Enjoy! 

What we take to be a self is tentative, fictitious, constructed by clinging, a temporary identification with some parts of experience. Self arises, solidifying itself, like ice floating in water. Ice is actually made of the same substance as water. Identification and clinging harden the water into ice. In a similar way, we sense ourself as separate. Jack Kornfield - The Wise Heart

This realization that the separate self is an illusion must be one of the most useful things I've ever learned. I spent most of my life assuming that I was a separate self-contained unit and I...

The root of this physical urge is a spiritual one. The longing for an end to duality, a return to the state of wholeness. Sexual union is the closest you can get to this state on the physical level. This is why it is the most deeply satisfying experience the physical realm can offer. But sexual union is no more than a fleeting glimpse of wholeness, an instant of bliss.
As long as it is unconsciously sought as a means of salvation, you are seeking the end of duality. On the level of form where it cannot be found...

“I have really found when I look around that the romantic love I see is this ideal, the anima. The anima is the ideal that you carry within yourself that you put onto the different entities out there and you unite with that. Pretty soon you see through the projection. And then what happens?”

Transcript:
That's Joseph Campbell from an interview he did. I won’t pretend to be an expert on what the anima is but I took note of this because it resonated with me. I can see that I've done this throughout my adult life. It's t...

To be a loving person is to wrestle with a profoundly improbable idea: that however modest our position in society might be, however much we may have been maltreated in the past, however mesmerised we are by the deplorable behaviour of powerful individuals, however shy and frail we are, we are constantly capable of causing other people significant hurt.
Alain de Botton in A More Loving World: How to increase compassion, kindness and joy

Creators & Guests

All that is necessary then is to rest undistractedly in the immediate present, in this very instant in time.
And if we become drawn away by thoughts, by longings, by hopes and fears, again and again we can return to this present moment.
We are here.
We are carried off as if by the wind, and as if by the wind, we are brought back.
When one thought has ended and another has not begun, we can rest in that space.
We train in returning to the unchanging heart of this very moment.
...

Romantic Realities: Deconstructing the Romantic Love Myth

We dive into the misconceptions of romantic love prevalent in Western culture, drawing on a quote from You Are the One You've Been Waiting For: Applying Internal Family Systems to Intimate Relationships, by Richard Swartz. Get the book from Internal Family Systems Institute at https://ifs-institute.com/you-are-one-youve-been-waiting

Sam mentions Let's Get Vulnerable: Relationship and Dating Advice podcast with Dr Morgan, yet again, but actually links to it this time. https://episodes.fm/1496034764 to find it on your podcast player of choice. But I use and recommend Podcast...

Listeners are producers. Thank you for getting the show out.
I reflect on my own podcast listening: helpful with insomnia, and a lifeline during tough times. Write me here

Reading a wide range of listener notes, I respond and explore 

Thinking back on favourite films, it becomes clear what they say about us. Cinema, the Psyche, unveiling Inner Heroes

It's always therapy and psychoanalysis around here, movies are the vehicle. Favourite films reflect deep psychological themes and evolving personal identities. What we once found aspirational in a character, we might later rethink, or realise it was not the healthiest hero to have. Others may have been right for the time.

So we mainly talk about movies our younger selves were drawn to, Pulp Fiction, Terminator 2, The Matrix, Le Samurai, The Thin Red Line, Beaches, When...

Do most straight men reserve their truest love and romance for other men? Marilyn Frye thinks so, and today we consider a quote from her classic book of feminist essays The Politics of Reality

We found ourselves in agreement with Frye's observations. But we debate and detail the angles: 

Moving from Fear, to Joy of Missing Out and beyond both. 

FOMO arises from projection and fantasy, as does a lot of the imagined enjoyment of the imagined pleasures.

We might imagine that:

We chew over the classic cliche FOMO of music festivals, and unearth some insights: 

Is Attachment Theory the new Myers-Briggs? No
Is it helping? Yes! Is attachment also about friendship, family and self relationships? Yes!
Is it the magic bullet? Kind of, if you study Attachment Styles in depth, and do the work

It's The Dance of Attachment in Relationships!

In our return to podding for a new season, (sorry to disappear, reasons!!) we explore 

Study envy to find messages from our future selves

We unpack the role of envy, not as a toxic emotion to be avoided or ashamed of, but a normal feeling that gives us clues to understanding our unmet desires, unfulfilled potential, and prompting necessary change.

Neurodivergence, New Years Resolutions, and Future Focus

We welcome the New Year by

Who's Your Guru? (and is Slavoj Žižek any good?)

Sam, Joe and Ali discuss gurus, including the online type:

What Do We Want To Pass On To Our Children?

Find out what controversial song was top of Ali's music wrap for the year. Oh, and we delve into parenting: 

Possible triggers. A confronting episode but one we are proud of. Sam, Joe, and Ali explore the impacts, recovery and residues of mental breakdowns.

We explore the experience of identifying as victim, through personal stories and theory, and of course the potential of spirituality and psychotherapy in helping move through, and renounce identities over time.

We discuss the dangers of adhering to a single identity label, and the benefit of taking responsibility for our own actions and healing, while being aware that we are also inescapably interconnected with others.

 Identities such as Victim are necessary and useful, and can arise naturally from a life event such as an accident, an assault, or injustice, but also from ordinary childhood experiences, a...

Only posting about shit you have personal experience of? 

The team discuss a quote from Christian mystic Emmett Fox on grievances:

We discuss mental breakdowns: the need we all have occasionally, the experience of it, and the benefits! Joe, Sam and Ali have had at least one menty b each, as many people now call them. An almost loving and affectionate term, which suggests that this process is something we could maybe greet like a friend. However, it can be very frightening, and isolating, and difficult for others.

We talk about the role of work pressures, unsustainable domestic roles, and the intensity of family life. 'Capitalism' gets a lot of the blame for mental breakdowns, from Ali and...

The team discuss the art of letting go of friends. Outgrowing friends or just growing in different directions? Joe says if you start judging friends it’s the beginning of the end. We get into painful friendship break ups.

Platonic friendships – are men just biding their time? Sam recalls dating the hottest woman on Brunswick St, just to put it on the public record. Joe & Ali discuss their own weird bipolar friendship. Sam sings some Peter Allen.

Deep conversations between men without mind altering substances – are they possible?

Everyone wants to tell Ali and Jo...

Sam, Joe and Ali reflect on our experiences in therapy. Sometimes the results seem clear – other times they’re hard to see. All agree it’s important to compare your progress to your past self, not some idealised perfect self. 

We discuss people who don’t think they need therapy. Ali mentions people who “prefer to work things out themselves”. 

Sam discusses the frustration of the session ending after 50 minutes – Joe says he wants an 8 hour MDMA therapy session – Sam wants to get on the ketamine.

Parents get a light going over. Sam discusses a breakt...

We ask if we are willing to compromise to be in a long-term monogamous relationship?

Sam discusses how to, whether we need to and to what extent we need to compromise.

Ali shares how a lot of women have fallen in love with the idea of being single.

We acknowledge all relationships require compromise however can we compromise our values? Can your values be flexible or do we become stuck in our ways the longer we remain single?

We also discuss in distorted times do distorted dynamics come in to play...

This week we listened to a Mamamia podcast where Mia Freedman interviews Caitlin Moran on her latest book "What about men?" and discuss our thoughts.

We acknowledge we are all victims of the patriarchy, but what tools do men have to help dismantle it? Why don't they identify with feminism and why are the gravitating towards extreme figures?

Ali explains why feminism has been helpful in plight of women, however men are not identifying with these strategies. Why can't men post photos of themselves and not be ridiculed?

Joe felt the interview was...