REFS NEED LOVE TOO

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Ever wonder why soccer fields seem to ignite emotions like few other places? In this eye-opening conversation, Dr. Ryan Martin – known as the Anger Professor – reveals the perfect psychological storm that makes pitches emotional pressure cookers.

Dr. Martin challenges our fundamental understanding of anger, explaining it's not inherently negative but rather a signal of perceived injustice or goal-blocking. On the soccer field, this manifests when calls feel unfair or when someone believes the referee is preventing them from achieving their objective – winning. What makes sporting events uniquely volatile is the combination of hig...

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Soccer's law book undergoes a mini-revolution with the 2025-2026 Laws of the Game, and referee Leland Grant, National Referee Coach and Umpiro founder, breaks down the four most significant changes poised to transform how matches unfold across all levels of play.

The first major change introduces a powerful new tool for match officials: the captain-only zone. When surrounded by multiple players, referees can now signal for a four-meter exclusion zone where only the designated team captain may approach. This mechanic directly addresses referee harassment, requiring captains to wear proper armbands and...

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Ever wonder how to stay passionate while juggling multiple demanding roles? This candid episode dives into the reality of balancing life as a referee, business professional, content creator, and parent during an especially hectic season.

David shares his journey through a particularly intense period—working full-time in sales and marketing for Hip Hues, running Refs Need Love Too, and preparing for his daughter's high school graduation while managing to referee challenging matches. Rather than feeling overwhelmed, he's discovered a powerful mindset shift that transforms exhaustion into fulfillment: consistently asking "Is what I...

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Ever wondered what it takes to officiate at the collegiate level? John Collins, the National Coordinator of Men's and Women's Soccer Officials for the NCAA, pulls back the curtain on a world that represents both challenge and opportunity for advancing referees.

With college soccer now boasting the largest officiating pool in NCAA sports—over 5,380 registered officials—Collins reveals the pathways to breaking into this level. "If you're working at the top youth level and at the amateur level, NCAA soccer is probably a fit for you," he explains, detailing how referees typi...

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What does it take to excel as a defender when you don't fit the physical prototype? Michael Parkhurst, who captained Atlanta United to their 2018 MLS Cup victory, reveals how his mind became his greatest strength on the soccer pitch.

"My brain was my biggest asset," Parkhurst explains, detailing how he compensated for lacking the traditional center back qualities of height, strength, and aerial prowess. This mental approach not only fueled his remarkable professional career but also inspired his current mission helping young players develop beyond their technical abilities.

After...

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Have you ever wondered how the best soccer referees reach the pinnacle of their profession? For national referee Bowen Taylor, the answer lies in stepping out of your comfort zone and traveling to officiate matches across the country.

At just 25 years old, Bowen has already achieved what many referees dream of – earning his national badge and working professional matches in leagues like USL Championship and MLS Next Pro. His secret weapon? Using travel as a catalyst for growth. When you officiate unfamiliar teams on unfamiliar fields with unfamiliar colleagues, you develop ad...

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The soccer referee uniform has become an unexpected battleground where tradition, practicality, and safety collide. Drawing from over 11 years and 1,300 matches of experience, I share my frustration with the often unreasonable uniform standards imposed on grassroots referees that sometimes compromise their health and wellbeing.

Despite US Soccer officially approving hats as part of the referee uniform, many senior officials still pressure referees to forego this essential sun protection. This isn't just about appearance—it's a serious health concern. Many long-time referees have developed skin cancers and eye conditions from prolonged sun ex...

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What happens when we normalize abuse toward the most vulnerable members of our sports community? David Gerson, host of Refs Need Love Too, joins attorney Ben Glass on the Renegade Lawyer podcast to tackle one of youth sports' most pervasive problems—referee abuse and its devastating impact on officiating retention.

This raw, revealing conversation explores the alarming statistics: we've lost over 30% of certified soccer referees since 2019, with 80% of new officials quitting within three years primarily due to sideline abuse. David shares powerful personal stories, including the moment his teenage son nearly wa...

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What does it really take to officiate at soccer's highest levels while maintaining a corporate career?Pro assistant referee Melissa Gonzalez pulls back the curtain on the demanding reality behind the flags and whistles.

"The perception is this is my full-time job, but it's not," Gonzalez reveals, describing her meticulous scheduling between IT project management responsibilities and professional refereeing commitments. Unlike many officials who map out deliberate career paths, Melissa's journey began simply with curiosity and the need for college spending money. Her progression came through consistently showing up, performing well...

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Join us for a captivating conversation with Ismail Elfath, a FIFA International Referee who has officiated matches on the world stage. Throughout the episode, Ismail outlines the critical skills of game management and the significance of body language and authority in establishing respect from players. He shares personal stories and advice that showcase what it means to be not just a referee, but a figure of stability on the pitch.

Listeners will gain insight into the balance required to assert authority while maintaining empathy—essential for successful officiating. Ismail illustrates this th...

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Kari Seitz, one of the most distinguished figures in soccer officiating, unravels the secrets of her trailblazing career in our latest episode. As the Vice President of Referees for US Soccer and the former FIFA head of refereeing for women, Kari's insights are a treasure trove for anyone passionate about the beautiful game. With her unparalleled experience at four World Cups and three Olympic Games, she has a one-of-kind perspective as she shares her strategies for advancing refereeing in the U.S.

The landscape of refereeing has undergone immense transformation, and...

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Michael Oliver's controversial red card decision during the Arsenal vs. Wolves match has ignited debates far beyond the pitch, demanding a closer look at the high-stakes world of refereeing. Join us as we unpack the intense scrutiny faced by officials in the English Premier League, emphasizing the importance of empathy and understanding for their challenging roles. We also dive into David Coote's candid revelations about his journey through personal struggles, painting a poignant picture of the human side of refereeing that often goes unseen.

We offer insights and a fresh perspective...

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What constitutes abuse in the realm of US Soccer? Join us for a deep dive into the pressing issue of referee abuse with Brian Barlow, the force behind the Offside page on Facebook, as we navigate the new policy spearheaded by Kari Seitz, VP of Referees for US Soccer. With a focus on clarifying and categorizing abusive behavior, the policy aims to establish a uniform approach across the nation. As Brian sheds light on emerging respect at national tournaments, we confront the ongoing challenge of underreporting incidents and the persistent issues faced at...

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Step into the intricate world of sports officiating with seasoned litigation and trial attorney Andres Vidaldez, who brings a dual perspective as both a legal expert and a referee. Discover the unique intersection of law and sports as Andres shares insights into the complex legal landscape referees must navigate. Learn about the critical importance of understanding contracts and legal responsibilities, as well as the passion and dedication required to thrive in refereeing, whether it's a vocation or an avocation.

Explore the potential liabilities referees face on the field, from handling mass...

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Uncover the inspiring journey of Megan Richardson, a standout referee from Georgia who has shattered barriers and set new standards in the world of female refereeing. Recognized as the Female Youth Referee of the Year multiple times, Megan opens up about the less obvious challenges she overcomes on the pitch, beyond the commonplace chauvinism. From navigating life changes to mentoring the next generation of referees, her story is a testament to resilience and passion in a male-dominated field.

Embark on a journey through the highs and lows of progressing as a...

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What happens when you walk away from a secure corporate job to pursue your passion for running a small business, refereeing and mentorship? Join me, David Gerson, as I recount the exhilarating journey from the office to the field, where the thrill of officiating high-stakes matches like the Georgia State Cup semi-finals and finals became my new reality. Through this transition, I discovered the power of female representation in high-level soccer games and found fulfillment in mentoring young referees, ultimately choosing family and well-being over climbing the corporate ladder.

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Ever wondered what it's like to transition from the adrenaline rush of being an elite player to the disciplined world of professional refereeing? Join me as I talk to the trailblazing Amy Barrett - Theron, South Africa's pioneering international rugby referee. Together, we explore her groundbreaking journey as the first South African woman to officiate in esteemed competitions like Super Rugby and the Olympics. Our conversation celebrates the cultural heartbeat of rugby in South Africa, ignited by the iconic 1995 World Cup, and the sport's unique ability to bring together players of all shapes...

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IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: This podcast is not intended or should be taken as tax advice. Consult with a tax professional to help you with your own specific tax situation. 

Robin Ruegg, a USA Brevet rating gymnastics judge with over 40 years of experience, joins us to unravel the fascinating world of gymnastics officiating. Robin shares her journey from a gymnast at the University of Minnesota to a respected judge, offering insights into the crucial yet frequently overlooked financial responsibilities that come with being a sports official.

We tackle the nitty-gritty of t...

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I had the pleasure of being a guest on the High Kicks Podcast. The discussion was fun and informative. I had a blast talking about what I love about being a ref and the challenges of being an official in the beautiful game. 

The episode ventures into the world of professional refereeing, where the pressure is immense and errors are an inevitable part of the job. We offered a compelling look at the human side of officiating, recognizing the split-second decisions referees must make and the scrutiny they face, even with t...

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Jan Ter Hamsel, the creator behind the influential Dutch Referee Blog (dutchreferee.com & @dutchreferee on Instagram), offers a unique look into the life and development of soccer referees around the globe. Join us as Jan shares the inspiration behind his blog, which has grown into an educational hub for referees seeking both personal and professional growth. He contrasts the robust training and development pathways available in the Netherlands with the limited opportunities faced by grassroots referees in the United States, emphasizing the role of continuous education and dedication in improving officiating skills.
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Are you ready to conquer the challenges of refereeing in cold weather conditions? Discover why I, David Gerson, prefer the chill to the sweltering heat and hear all about my top tips for staying warm on the pitch. Learn how you can maintain your professionalism while keeping comfortable, with insights into acceptable cold weather gear for referees and grassroots officials. We’ll explore everything from hats to long pants, ensuring you’re prepared for any icy encounter on the field.

Join me on a journey into the camaraderie and shared passion that...

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Ready to elevate your refereeing game to the next level? Discover how to stay warm while exuding professionalism on the pitch as I, David Gerson, share my top tips for cold-weather gear. From hats and gloves to logo-free attire, learn the nuances of what’s permissible in grassroots soccer and why cooler temperatures can be an official's best friend. Whether you’re a seasoned pro or fresh to the field, this episode promises the ultimate guide to balancing comfort with the demands of the game.

Step into the shoes of a refe...

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Ever found yourself in the middle of a soccer match, caught between the roar of the crowd and the whistle in your hand? Join me, David Gerson, as I recount the highs and lows of grassroots refereeing, sharing my first-hand experiences on the pitch. Starting with the sweet taste of success in a seamless match, we quickly progress to the chaos of an intense game where a tactical foul ignited a firestorm of protests. Through these stories, you'll discover the art of maintaining authority amidst a sea of dissent and learn essential strategies...

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What if managing a soccer match could be as strategic as a chess game, with every move calculated for maximum safety and control? Join me, David Gerson, as I unravel the art of officiating amidst the beauty and chaos of soccer, especially in the challenging aftermath of Hurricane Helene. This episode promises insights into the delicate balance of passion and responsibility, focusing on strategies to handle mass confrontations on the field. From forming a "triangle of control" with fellow referees to harnessing the leadership of team captains, learn how quick, decisive actions can...

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What motivates someone to remain dedicated to soccer for over four decades? Discover the answer as we sit down with Bryan McDermott, a cornerstone of Georgia's soccer community. Bryan shares his journey as a coach, referee, mentor, assigner, and board member, offering a comprehensive look into the life of an individual who has given so much to the sport. From his early motivations to the complexities of being a referee assigner, Bryan's insights are invaluable for anyone interested in the behind-the-scenes work that keeps the soccer community thriving.

Ever wondered about...

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Ever wondered how to navigate the complexities of life as a referee while juggling personal challenges? This week's episode of Refs Need Love 2 takes you on a heartfelt journey, starting with my reflections on my 81-year-old father's health struggles. This deeply personal narrative serves as a poignant reminder of the importance of cherishing our loved ones. 

Shifting gears, I share the unique challenges faced by referees, including weather disruptions and the physical demands of back-to-back games. An amusing story about "runner's nipple" adds a touch of humor, underscoring the passion and d...

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What if transforming the culture of soccer refereeing could be as simple as introducing a new card? Join us as we explore this transformative idea with Richard and Will Bradwell, the father-son team behind the Positive Referee Coalition. Richard, a seasoned referee, and his son Will, share their innovative approach of using green cards to promote sportsmanship and respect on the soccer field—a practice Richard first pioneered in 1996 and which Will is now helping to expand. Together, they aim to create a more positive and enjoyable environment for everyone involved in the ga...

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Have you ever wondered what it takes to become a top-level referee? Join us as we sit down with Jonathan Wilkes, a Level 3 referee from Brighton, England, who has officiated matches across Australia and Denmark. Jonathan opens up about how his father’s refereeing career sparked his passion and how the innovative Ref6 smartwatch app reignited his love for the game. His unique blend of sports science expertise and personal training for referees provides an insightful look into the world of officiating.

Achieving referee promotions in the UK is no small fe...

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Unlock the secrets to peak performance for referees with our special guest, Austin Ardrey, CEO of Runnin' Ref. Have you ever considered the rigorous athletic demands placed on sports officials? Austin shares his expansive knowledge on why referees should be considered athletes, given their demanding roles in basketball, soccer, and football. Discover how sport-specific training programs are meticulously designed to address the unique movements and fitness needs of referees, and why these often-overlooked athletes deserve our utmost respect.

Managing energy and recovery is crucial for referees to perform at their best...

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What if the future of football refereeing was already here? On this episode of "Refs Need Love Too," we break down the groundbreaking updates to the laws of the game for the 2024 and 2025 seasons. From allowing goal-line technology feedback to be communicated through earpieces, to introducing additional permanent concussion substitutions, and mandating team captains to wear identifying armbands, these changes have been enshrined to the laws of the game. We'll also discuss the differences in local competition rules, particularly around concussion protocols, and clarify the compulsory use of shin guards in IFAB club...

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Ever wondered what it takes to be a top-tier referee across multiple sports? Our guest Paul Risdall, a seasoned official in soccer, basketball, and lacrosse, shares his remarkable journey from a young referee to a collegiate and semi-pro level officiant. Paul’s unique story includes a hiatus from the referee world, only to return and ascend to new heights in officiating while balancing his role as the lead pastor and a dedicated family man. Tune in to hear about his thrilling initiation into high school varsity soccer and how it sparked a deeper pa...

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Unlock the secrets to mastering the art of officiating in soccer as we talk to Will Reed, a referee and exercise science researcher. Will's journey into the world of refereeing began in north Atlanta, inspired by his professor Kevin Hewitt. From youth games to high-stakes academy and UPSL matches, Will shares his passion for staying connected to the game, mentoring young players, and the undeniable physical and emotional rewards of being a referee. This episode is packed with Will’s insights on his path to regional certification and his groundbreaking research into assistant re...

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How much do we really know about what soccer referees earn? Join us on this deep dive into the financial realities of officiating, where we pull back the curtain on referee compensation across various levels of youth soccer. From the challenges of gathering transparent pay data to personal stories from my own refereeing journey, we discuss how the pay scales fluctuate dramatically between recreational and competitive matches. A valuable listen for both young folks seeking their first job and adults considering refereeing as a side gig, this episode shines a spotlight on the...

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 Join us as we chat with Charley Cox, a referee with an astounding 45 years of experience, who has dedicated his life to the beautiful game. From his humble beginnings refereeing in the military to becoming a pivotal mentor for young referees in the Florida Futures Program, Charlie shares his incredible journey and the wisdom he's gained along the way. Discover the the importance of creating a positive environment for youth players, and how the role of a referee has transformed over the decades from strict rule enforcer to a facilitator of enjoyable game e...

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Ever wondered why refereeing styles differ so dramatically between South American football and European football? Join me, David Gerson, as I share my experiences from attending Copa America matches in Atlanta and contrast them with the officiating observed at the Euros. We'll discuss the critical role of referees, the electrifying yet challenging atmospheres, and how key decisions, particularly those involving red cards, can dramatically alter match outcomes. Along the way, I'll emphasize the indispensable need for players, fans, and coaches to adapt to these diverse refereeing styles and respect the game’s officials.

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What happens when a seasoned referee takes on the concrete pitches of New York City for the first time? Buckle up as I share my thrilling refereeing adventures, starting with a heartwarming reunion with high school friends and a deep dive into the world of New York soccer. Navigating the ins and outs of officiating in NYC, I provide valuable tips for referees looking to expand their horizons, from coordinating with the Eastern New York Referee Association to managing the logistics of an interstate trip. My experience offers a roadmap for seizing new...

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Ever wondered what goes through the mind of a referee that most people have no clue about?  From pre-match jitters to the intricacies of making those split-second calls on the pitch, I share my real-life experiences of the hard truths of what goes into officiating games. We'll unpack the nuanced nature of calling fouls and dive into why experience and context are game-changers for making the right calls.

But that's not all. We also tackle the often unspoken financial motivations that pull many into the world of refereeing and why respect f...